| Are most single moms looking for a guy to care for them financially?
Posted: 10/4/2009 6:04:36 PM | | No... I am a single mother of a 2 year old and aboslutely not. I am the most independent single woman you will ever meet. I think alot of women do feel that way. but you just have to keep looking. Some woman have standards and some don't although my standards require the guy to at least have a job and a house or car or something to let me know they aren't just going to be sitting on their butt not doing a damn thing all day long. They have to let me know they are capable taking care of themselves and that's how people can make things actually work in life....Hope you find someone soon.... | |
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| Are most single moms looking for a guy to care for them financially?
Posted: 10/5/2009 5:07:06 PM | | No not all single moms are looking for someone to take care of them financially. I am a single mom and I am not looking for some one to come in and pay my bills. I can do that myself. I just want to find someone who is willing to be a part of my family cause like it or not, I come as a package deal. | |
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| Are most single moms looking for a guy to care for them financially?
Posted: 10/6/2009 9:23:21 PM | i cant speak for other single moms,
but me personally im not looking for a guy to carry me in life financially , I knew i was going to be a single mom and prepared for it.
I can put a roof over our heads, bills paid, food in fridge and clothing on our backs with no struggle at all.
Im looking for love, romance, someone to laugh with and share my life with, not a sugar daddy | |
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| Are most single moms looking for a guy to care for them financially?
Posted: 10/6/2009 9:58:06 PM | YES, we are all here because of the multitudes of Vanderbilt's, Rockefeller's, CEOs and hedge-fund managers that use the Internet to find single mothers they want to shower with money and gifts. *snort* ... :up:
ALL of us... :grinch:
** :laugh: ** | |
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| Are most single moms looking for a guy to care for them financially?
Posted: 10/8/2009 5:00:35 AM | They are looking for someone to care for them and eventually their kids. Like any other situation, finances at some point come into play unless you never live together or marry but no, most single moms are not looking for a guy to care for them financially in any other than any woman would be seeking the same in a long-term mate.
Most women can understand, appreciate and support a person trying to better themselves and making sacrifices today for a better tomorrow. As most women with children are not going to jump into a relationship, perhaps more so than a single woman without children, by the time things would get serious and get to the thinking about finances stage, you would either be done with school or close to it, so worrying about it puts the cart before the horse a bit.
Single mothers have responsibilities that women without children don't, but it is really no different than dating someone without kids. Any woman or man for that matter, that is looking for someone to save or take care of them rather than to share their life with, should be avoided. A woman who introduces you to her children beyond a simple introduction fairly quickly, should be avoided because her needs are more important than making sure someone will stick around before bringing the kids into it.
Yes some perhaps many single mothers struggle financially but we recognize it as part of the gig and are proud that we are taking care of ourselves and our children. Most two-parent families I know are struggling now. I suggest that in terms of finances, you figure out what type of woman she is not whether she has kids or not.
YES, we are all here because of the multitudes of Vanderbilt's, Rockefeller's, CEOs and hedge-fund managers that use the Internet to find single mothers they want to shower with money and gifts.
Carolann, didn't they tell you that those people are the ones with the little gold balls on their profile?
The worst thing is to show a man that you are vulnerable and needs protection. It makes him likely to be abusive. He feels he 'own' you.
This is a very valid point, OP. Yes, there are some women who might want a guy to save them but that is how they are built, not because they are moms and similarly, there are men who will not only abuse, but use a woman because they see a nice set-up with a woman who is a nurturer. | |
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| Are most single moms looking for a guy to care for them financially?
Posted: 10/8/2009 8:38:03 AM | Just by economies of scale, getting married (or whatever you want to call it, moving in together with a commitment, etc., ) will help both the single mom and the new guy financially. It is much less expensive to have one household instead of two, so both parties will be helped out financially.
That is, unless of course one party stops working to stay home with the children, then the person working has just increased their financial burden. Or if one party was receiving welfare benefits that they no loner qualify for because of getting married, that could increase the financial liability of the household, also. | |
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| Are most single moms looking for a guy to care for them financially?
Posted: 10/8/2009 9:33:04 AM |
most people will see single mums as a one night stand and arent willing to have a realtionship because they are waste of time and waste of space  Says he who is yet to say anything in these forums that doesn't put him squarely in the "waste of time and waste of space" 'category'. | |
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| Are most single moms looking for a guy to care for them financially?
Posted: 10/8/2009 10:28:24 AM | I agree futureshock, it's just too bad they don't see it the other way when the cp's have to somehow justify running two households instead of one.
As far being percieved as a financial liability and there are many here that swear that they can hold their own, the whole idea behind starting a family was mutual love and financial support. These days there seems to be more of a " I can make it on my own" attitude that like it or not is seriously depriving many kids from having a decent shot at many of what for married couples are just standard issue.
As someone who went into private homes on many different levels of incomes, it was very rare that many single parents owned there own homes and if anyone is aware of simple economics of the sure fire ways to break the poverty cycle is through home ownership. It is the easiest way to build equity and family stability.
There will automatically be posts from those who are owners here, it will be expected but the vast majority will never be owners. | |
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| Are most single moms looking for a guy to care for them financially?
Posted: 10/8/2009 10:37:30 AM | Well Click-on, if it weren't for the passing of my grandfather, I probably never would have been able to save the downpayment required here in Canada to qualify for a mortgage. My grandmother gave me the money I needed for most of the downpayment but I still had to borrow from my parents another 7K which I paid back over a couple of years. You are right...it is rare for a single parent to be a homeowner if they started off that way...far more likely if you were married, owned a home together, built up equity and then divorced, becoming a single parent.
As for the "I can make it on my own" attitude, I confess I am guilty of that but it extends far beyond the financials of my situation. It has been a long time since I've "depended" on anyone but me to take care of me. That is something I am struggling with now that I find myself in a relationship that is headed towards marriage. He is patient and understanding and reminds me when he does something for me that it is what people who love me would do.....and since he does, I need to let him.
On Tuesday, he was off, I was working from home so he popped over to "hang out" with me. He offered to fix a few things that need fixing that I haven't had the time to get to and I felt so weird letting him. I felt really defensive and became agitated with him. Fortunately he gets me and we talked it over. Last night when he offered to make us dinner and told me to go relax, when I hesitated, he gave me the "look" and I did as he suggested...lol. It is sooooo hard to let go of that "control" (for lack of a better word). I have no problem doing things for him and he accepts them...I just have trouble letting him do things for me. Sigh...... | |
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| Are most single moms looking for a guy to care for them financially?
Posted: 10/8/2009 1:19:09 PM | The simple answer is, some are, and some aren't.
I have to admit that being with someone who is financially stable enough to at least care for themselves is a turn on. Being a single mother, I value meeting someone who can take care of themselves. Maybe that's because I've been in too many relationships with guys who take advantage and are looking for a mommy figure, someone to take care of them and coddle them.
And all women like to date a guy who can treat them nicely, but if you don't have money, that doesn't mean you can't still do things to make her feel special. It's not all about the monetary gifts. The attention and thoughtfulness you put forth in a relationship is a lot more meaningful than the amount of money you invest. If you find that you're dating someone who doesn't feel that way, it's probably something you should get out of.
No relationship is a sure thing, we all take chances when we meet someone new, but you're not doomed to a relationship with a single mom who expects you to be her "baby daddy' or sugar daddy. There are those of out there who just want a genuinely nice guy who will accept us with our extras. | |
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| Are most single moms looking for a guy to care for them financially?
Posted: 10/9/2009 1:27:11 PM | Some people just really don't know any other way of life other than living at or below the poverty line. (I am not saying this includes anyone here.) I've encountered people who think they are doing just fine, and have no ambition to improve their financial/economic lot in life, even though they lived paycheck to paycheck and as such were always one job loss away from homelessness.
Some of these people get offended when it is pointed out to them that their own children are disadvantaged when compared to some middle class children living with both parents. One of the reasons they get offended is that they have no idea how different the lives are for people living more comfortable lives, and what it means for the children involved.
This is one of many reasons why lifestyle choices repeat themselves, like teen and unwed motherhood. Teens growing up in a single mother family find nothing lacking in their life, so they do not see what they are missing out on by following in their mothers' footsteps.
If some of these women were asked if they were looking for a man to improve their own financial position, some might say no, because they do not think their financial position needs improving. They are doing it all on their own, and proud of it. | |
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| Are most single moms looking for a guy to care for them financially?
Posted: 10/9/2009 1:45:24 PM |
"Are most single moms looking for a guy to care for them financially?"
Nope but I would like to win the lottery. Move somewhere warm, live on a beach and retire. That would be sweet!
I have never looked for a man to provide for me. I always liked to be treated as an equal in my relationships. | |
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| Are most single moms looking for a guy to care for them financially?
Posted: 10/9/2009 10:42:35 PM | jenn8131:
i here ya on the lottery thing and moving somewhere nice and warm to lolololol, that would be awesome,
as for myself i dont need a man to provide for me or my children, i do that all on my own, but like everyone eles i always like to be treated as an equal in my relationships to. but sometimes that is hard to find cause u get some men out there that think that u are so helpless and need them to help u out and once they see that they think that they have won, iam not saying that all men are like that but there are out there | |
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| Are most single moms looking for a guy to care for them financially?
Posted: 10/9/2009 11:15:04 PM | | Like one women said above if he is a millionaire then I wouldn't mind. Though I do have a friend who between several court cases and some good old fashion work on his part has several mil and tries to pay for stuff for his freinds and I wont let him pay for stuff for me anymore than I do the average guy in my own income range. I prefer to stand on my own feet and not feel indebted to anyone and earn things my way. Once your married I will say that things tend to merge and combine but you should as long as both are physically able to contribute as equally as possible. | |
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| Are most single moms looking for a guy to care for them financially?
Posted: 10/10/2009 7:29:00 AM | | No, I know I'm not looking for someone to care for me financially; however, I would not date a man who cannot carry his own weight financially. I take care of me and my two boys and am not taking on a man who cannot contribute enough to cover himself. | |
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| Are most single moms looking for a guy to care for them financially?
Posted: 10/10/2009 8:01:07 AM | "Are most single moms looking for a guy to care for them financially?"
I'm not looking but if you know some nice fella that does want to support me financially...I'm willing to give it a shot! I've always managed to get by just fine on my own. Although, there have been a few guys that seemed to think I was supposed to support them financially! I think it goes for both sexes that anyone can fantasize about living a dream. That's all it really is.
I suppose if that's what a guys willing to do he's made his own choice. All that should be sorted out before the relationship is serious. Some guys actually want a "trophy" wife whether she's got kids or not. My ex had more money in his pocket then he came to me with. I sent him packing after giving nothing financially towards the household in the 6+ yrs we were married. And before someone tries to bash me for supporting him that long you don't know the circumstances.....zip it...you have no clue about the situation! It happens and we get over it. Live and learn is all I can say!
No...most single moms aren't looking for someone to support them financially! They're probably looking for some guy to share life with her and and her child(ren). She doesn't need your wallet to enjoy a relationship! She does want someone to help her improve life as a family and be able to contribute to the betterment of the household. | |
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| Are most single moms looking for a guy to care for them financially?
Posted: 10/10/2009 8:07:40 AM | | no, im very independent & work hard for my money, i like to be able to pay for my stuff and not have to depend on any one but still need/want the companionship/tho bc we are single moms we do financially struggle~so we are usually strapped for extra cash...the ones that are looking for someone to take care of them are the ones that dont work and expect the govt to take care of them completely :D | |
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| Are most single moms looking for a guy to care for them financially?
Posted: 10/10/2009 8:10:26 AM | I wonder what the answers to this thread would have been if the question were posed like this instead:
"Are most single moms looking for a guy to care for them so that they can afford to be stay at home mothers instead of working outside of the home and putting their children into daycare 40 hours a week?" | |
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| Are most single moms looking for a guy to care for them financially?
Posted: 10/10/2009 8:15:30 AM |
"Are most single moms looking for a guy to care for them so that they can afford to be stay at home mothers instead of working outside of the home and putting their children into daycare 40 hours a week?"
FS ~ YES! That's what I'm looking for!!!!!!!! Where can I find me one of THOSE?!?!?!?!?  | |
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| Are most single moms looking for a guy to care for them financially?
Posted: 10/10/2009 8:56:49 AM | "Are most single moms looking for a guy to care for them so that they can afford to be stay at home mothers instead of working outside of the home and putting their children into daycare 40 hours a week?"
Futureshock? Another fantasy question? Some people live in a fantasy land and believe that's gonna happen. Yes...I'm sure some girls do want that...and if they're pretty enough and talented enough to get a guy to do it..then so be it. He has the choice to support her or not.
Most mom's aren't looking for anything other then the enrichment to the family household. In whatever form it comes in. I have no desire to be that dependant on anyone.
If a guy gets with a girl with kids and he chips in to help with food...does that mean he's being financially responsible for things or is that just sharing? If she's doing his laundry and he gets laundry soap is he supporting her or the household? If a man is living with a girl married or not and he's unemployed...is it wrong to ask if he can watch the kid(s) before and after school for a couple hours while we go out and work? I don't see anything wrong with asking this from someone I'm sharing my life with.
For a singles site I see a lot of bitter people. They have a bad experience and take it out on others who didn't do anything. I'm not saying this to anyone personally but why are people so hateful and yet actually on a site that should be a bit kinder. There's a difference between an actual discussion on a question someone has. And ...well attacking someone because they are a certain gender.....and because they were hurt by someone of that gender...that person must be guilty of the same infraction.
Most of us are here to eventually find someone to share their life with. We don't want to be lumped into a pot of nastiness. We don't deserve to be ripped apart because someone didn't have the sense to see they were being taken advantage of! Get over it and make nice or move on!
Hey folks! It's almost Christmas! Are most single parents just looking for a sap to financially support them over the holidays?  | |
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| Are most single moms looking for a guy to care for them financially?
Posted: 10/10/2009 9:42:34 AM | All females look for men who make good money and who will be good protectors and providers. Its a natural feminine instinct. Just like men seek out women with good genes who are thin and beautiful to have sex with so they have good looking healthy kids. Thats the male instinct. Theres nothing wrong with it its natural. Women want the men with $$$$ and men want to get with the hottest chicks.
Its a given that most single mothers are $$$ leeches. The single custodial dads are also leeches, one of the main reasons they take the children away from thier mothers is so they dont have to pay thier ex child support. What custodial dads want from thier girlfriends is basically just sex and free maid/babysitting service.
The fact is that most single parents (men and women) are leeches! Having kids makes people very selfish. Kids are just so needy and demanding that thier parents dont have much left to give (time,energy,resources etc....) to a new boyfriend/girlfriend. Single parents are VERY UNDESIRABLE as potential mates. | |
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