| Are most single moms looking for a guy to care for them financially?
Posted: 10/24/2009 10:25:12 AM | HECK NO! I will tell you this, speaking for myself, not every single mom out there (but I know im not the only one who thinks this way). I work my butt off to be independent, to support my self and my son. Including a significant other in the equation in only a perk, not a financial thing. In my opinion, I feel it is not the responsibility of someone I date to support myself and my son financially. I know when I start to date someone, I look to see if they build a friendship with my son, and are accepting of the fact that he can tend to be protective of his mommy. When it comes to doing things together and including the children of either party in the activity it usually ends up as going dutch (me paying for myself and my son, or vise versa). If you date a single mom, just make sure she isn't the type who expects you to pay for everything, as there are some out there. Just be open and communicate the fact that you don't have the ability to be a sugar daddy.
Good Luck in your search! | |
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| Are most single moms looking for a guy to care for them financially?
Posted: 10/24/2009 12:07:40 PM | ...ahem. its a good example of the impersonal social conscious and the personal social conscious. loves ways all surrounding and world visions lurking ...stalking over.
when i think of mother child relationship i feel in terms (ideals/values) which are resplendent of natural environment...with much soothing form embracing.
statistics can seem unkind when what looms over the most delicate of feminine virtues.
and i do say.....virtues.
lets go to the park and hug a tree mama. | |
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| Are most single moms looking for a guy to care for them financially?
Posted: 10/24/2009 12:18:26 PM | ...feminism/child and economy are not a natural relationship.
the most basic of life sustaining materials exist on the land.
out of the land ... and the relationship is never quite the same.
father should not have had to obey anybody to leave mother child behind ...
lost and looking for them ... they had been transformed into economic units with earning potentials.....revenue potentials.........oh dear .... stop now.
pasture.....river....trees....where are you .....? | |
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| Are most single moms looking for a guy to care for them financially?
Posted: 10/24/2009 9:10:00 PM | | yes that's why i'm on here my boyfriend is getting really greedy with his money. hellooo, if you want to date a cute girl you have to pay buddy. btw it's not all mothers...it's chicks without kids too. and if they say that they don't care about $ they are lying. so if she's giving you some...you should at least take her to dinner. | |
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| Are most single moms looking for a guy to care for them financially?
Posted: 10/25/2009 11:30:02 AM | | I don't expect any financial contribution from a partner/date, my children are mine and my situation is of my own making. I'm not well off by any standards but work hard, own a nice house in a nice area and am very proud of that fact. If I go on a date with a man I expect to pay my share. I do think there are women out there who will seek men for what they can get out of them, but to be fair there are men like that out there too... | |
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| Are most single moms looking for a guy to care for them financially?
Posted: 11/2/2009 7:32:18 PM | | I have been a single mom for 14 years and I am not looking for someone to take care of us financially. I am looking for someone to spend my life with and doing activities together. As far as finances, i would expect him help with the bills if we are married or living together. It would have been nice when my child was younger to find someone that would have done activities with him. But now, my child is a teenager and I really don't think most guys would want to hang around with a teenager. | |
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| Are most single moms looking for a guy to care for them financially?
Posted: 11/2/2009 7:43:32 PM | [single moms talk to your lower status single mother girlfriends that have ruined the statistical curve for you all]
Sorry, guy, I don't consort with "lower status single mothers". Perhaps it is YOU who need to raise the bar a bit, Then again, perhaps it is BECAUSE of you that that is all you attract. Birds of a feather, and all that. | |
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| Are most single moms looking for a guy to care for them financially?
Posted: 11/2/2009 8:28:32 PM | [I am so happy that YOU arent the "TYPE" of woman who would take a man "for all he's got" out of vengeance. Why cant/wont you put that in writing?
If it can be SPOKEN, it can be WRITTEN.
Like it's also been said, "A broken clock is RIGHT, twice a day" It's just WRONG the other 1338 minutes of the day. So in doing the math ratio here, that means that a man's chances of NOT being screwed over by an upside down legal system is ONE tenth of ONE percent on the CHANCE he meets YOU or your think-alike TWIN.
The OTHER 1338 women out there that make up the 99.8611 percent of the rest of the female population WILL screw him over. You want men to take THAT chance?
Whatever else marriage MAY be to each party, it IS a LEGAL PARTNERSHIP CONTRACT that you have to SUE to end. You are contracted with your state of residence to agree to how to live a life together.
Remember.. ALL marriages supposedly BEGIN with that trust, love, commitment you speak of. Only 15% last longer than 15 years(according to divorce statistics). The 2nd marriage divorce rate is in the high 90th percentile.
This means that close to 90% of men who marry are getting screwed sooner or later.]
No doubt, there are rotten women. No doubt there are rotten men as well. Your words, however, are imbued with bitterness. Why do you assume that women seek to "take a man for all he's got" and why "out of vengeance"? Have you considered the notion that it is often the case that BOTH PARTIES agreed that the women would be the one to give up a career, retirement benefits, health insurance, etc. for the benefit of the family? Have you considered the fact that she may be entitled to some of what, by agreement, her former spouse had the benefit of due to her sacrifice?
Trust & commitment are required by both sides of the equation in order for a marriage to last. Are the 90% of men ALL innocent in regards to breach of those terms of the contract?
In any case, prenups aren't worded thusly. I have yet to hear of one that mentions "out of vengeance". Of course, that is likely due to the fact that there is no way to prove one's motivation. There are, however, many motivations behind seeking monetary compensation as part of a divorce agreement.
Bottom line: this is a DATING site. Such attitudes towards an entire gender with no regard to actual facts, or demonstration of thought processes, seem counterproductive. | |
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| Are most single moms looking for a guy to care for them financially?
Posted: 11/4/2009 11:39:32 AM | Holy Generalization Batman!
I've been a single mom for 10 years and had a well paying job for 8 of those years! IF the workforce was more sympathetic to the childcare needs of single parents, I'd be in another well paying job. I'm intelligent and hardworking and have never needed someone to "pay my way".
It sounds to me that you're meeting the very small percentage of our gender who DOES feel that men should take care of them and any offspring they have produced. | |
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| Are most single moms looking for a guy to care for them financially?
Posted: 11/11/2009 4:47:42 AM | Sarge, That was a very good question, I am going to assume that your going to stay in the Army, so the answer to your question can be yes, look at all of the benefits a single mom would get, on the other hand if your not going to stay in, then no!
I have a different problem lol try finding a woman with no children !!! that is over 40, I would never think about marriage again unless I could support a family, in all ways, not just the money side of it.
You yourself have to decide what is important, is it having a a woman by your side, or getting through school first and then making the plunge again. | |
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| Are most single moms looking for a guy to care for them financially?
Posted: 11/11/2009 6:16:34 AM | really depends on "your" and "her" financial situation. If she's making more money than you..then probably she wouldn't bother with your lame paycheck... HOWEVER if she catches a "richy rich" fishy, the oh yeah... you bet she'll take the calculator out...  | |
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| Are most single moms looking for a guy to care for them financially?
Posted: 11/11/2009 9:03:29 AM | | In my situation, the answer is a great big NO. I have a good job, 3 kids who love me and I love them, we are a family, with or without that man that may come along later on. I was raised by my mom and grandma who both are very strong independent women and who taught me to be self reliant, that it's wonderful to have that man by your side in the good times and bad, but not wo great to have to have him. I look for a man who can and will be a good influence on my kids, the one with a brain, the one with integrity to make it thru the tough times, and the one of course that I can't live without, the one who makes me feel like a better person for having him in my life. | |
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| Are most single moms looking for a guy to care for them financially?
Posted: 11/11/2009 10:51:09 AM |
I wouls have to say it depends on the person, but most likly the anaswer is yes because without a man it's very hard to woman to have a home.
What?! Do you live in a cardboard box?
If a woman is wise, she will finish high school, get a good post-secondary education, work on establishing a good career that can provide her with sufficient income to live the lifestyle she wishes to live for both herself and her children.
The days of women "having" to depend upon a man to pay her way in the world ended when women received equal rights under the law. If you haven't caught up to that, can't appreciate what that means or prefer to live back in the day of "kept women"...well that is your choice but please do not speak for the rest of us women.
FYI - I pay a mortgage and I got here on my own without a man to provide for me/help support me and I'm a single mother with two children....I bought this house before I found out I was pregnant with my daughter.
Lesson to learn - Being a woman doesn't mean you can't do what a man can do in terms of economics.....it is a choice we each make. If you want to choose to wait for Prince Charming to ride up on his white horse and rescue you....that is your choice. I didn't make that choice...I bought my own damn horse and house. | |
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| Are most single moms looking for a guy to care for them financially?
Posted: 11/11/2009 4:27:30 PM | ...
basically. economics/financials are a choice more-over a choice set of responsibilities.
the more adds up to more. more economics more responsibilities in the set. proportionately speaking.
but economics may be less the choice within an optional or pragmatic set of responsibilities to a person. so...for instance. ...
my choices at economics were evaluated by the pressing conscious conditions envisioned combined social conditions with options to more or less advantages
giving/taking so confusing/distracting with personal choices.
and i were not successfull economically because a.)..i chose by the myriad purposefull dimensions in society to be successfull else-wheres. and b.)..it were chosen by me in purposefull social dimensions which were interpreted and misinterpreted and re-interpreted (re-evaluated) to this time.
not all people respond identically to social conditions similarly. and that one may seem more successfull or responsible socially/materially ...do not absolutely indicate personal or social success. ... nor may the person of impoverishment be entirely successfull. but one to another....they will evaluate one another eternally ever revealing each gifts to the relationship of other.
attitude in economics by people in adverse language and facility can be much debilitating by trying to share realizations of each to the satisfaction of other(s)...
but in the end. one becomes what one thinks and envisions as most purposefull of the mind in relationship to the feeling-body...socially...naturally...materially. | |
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| Are most single moms looking for a guy to care for them financially?
Posted: 11/11/2009 4:39:12 PM | ...there would be many a male or female which sought out relationship primarily to secondary or lesser priority economics.
i don't look for women with money. and that is because i don't desire complications with it. i like simplicity. but economic strife can be debilitating to opportunity of relationship and expansion of experience.
so as a person....in this my middle age i still fall back on my old principle. which is ...
follow the principle of heart and hopefully someone will identify it.
we can generate great revenues together...but it is not something i will try to achieve for myself. there just would not be fun it it.
partner recreation has so much more to offer in production and rewards.
alone...i am nothing without her. with her...there is rest. | |
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| Are most single moms looking for a guy to care for them financially?
Posted: 11/12/2009 5:24:39 PM | I am a single mom...and I would love to have a man in my life who is financially stable.
One that does not need me to financially support him on my own.
Someone who is responsible with money and is not a uber consumer.
I've always lived within my means....an I am teaching my children to discern their NEEDs from their WANTs.... know the difference and live your life accordingly.
I would expect a potential partner to understand this.
Not that I would turn my back on a man who has money...but I am not seeking a Sugar-Daddy or someone to support me and the children. | |
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| Are most single moms looking for a guy to care for them financially?
Posted: 11/13/2009 3:25:55 AM | You are aware that sometimes the opposite is true.
In my case, I worked my butt off as a single mom worked nights....went to school during the day....graduated with honors....then met my husband...who did not have much going for him. Throughout our 14 year marriage....I was the one who supported the lifestyle. Every time I turned around he had bought big ticket items.....without my consent....which then resulted in myself having to work a lot of overtime. End result when he figured that he has squeezed all he could out of me.....I had opened my own account and no longer allowed him access....he filed for divorce.
Ended with myself paying him alimony for 5 years....lump sum payment in 6 figues and loosing most of what I had worked for during my single years.
I say all this to show that it isn't always the man who gets beaten about as a result of divorce.
I know at my income my choices in a mate are limited if I don't want to experience my past all over again . This may be the reason that some of the posters say what they do.....because of past experiences where they gave everything without complaint and the end result was they were the loosers. | |
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| Are most single moms looking for a guy to care for them financially?
Posted: 11/13/2009 3:36:08 AM | Gee, welcome to what all men faced. Sucks huh? ^^^^^^^^
The only thing that has really changed is you can get a man's genetic material and have him finance your quest for motherhood and HE doesn't even have to be there anymore.
I wonder though is who still got the kids? | |
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| Are most single moms looking for a guy to care for them financially?
Posted: 11/13/2009 2:13:49 PM | | of course they aren't looking for you to take care of them financially. gez...they are independent women with careers and...oops forgot about this one...loads of child support. hmmm...wait a minute i guess they are one way or another. nevermind. | |
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