| What is the strangest way you were told it was over
Posted: 10/22/2009 10:54:41 AM |
It is amazing to me (after reading this thread) what two
people who used to love each other are capable of.
A lot of it, I believe, comes from a reaction by the people involved to their own guilt. Recognizing that the relationship has failed and knowing that they share a certain responsibility for it generates guilt. Since people generally don't like to admit guilt, the only recourse is to demonize the other and move to export their guilt. This makes it easy to justify being nasty.... | |
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| What is the strangest way you were told it was over
Posted: 10/22/2009 11:23:48 AM | Actually, most people are cowards when it comes to wanting to break it off. They give the most lame excuses ever! Most of the time, it is another person involved and they think by just telling you something like " I don't love you" that makes it easier on them and on you.
It doesn't. I think I would rather hear (and I have) Hey, I've found someone else, or I'm going back to my ex, than to just give some lame excuse that in turn, makes us question ourselves. Its the one leaving that has the problem, if they can't tell you the real reason, not the one being left. Now, I've left and I've been left. And yes, it's hard to say, I'm in love with someone else, but if you DON"T tell the truth, we always think there is a chance you'll come back. And that is absolute torture.........
jmo.
outdoorgirl | |
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| What is the strangest way you were told it was over
Posted: 10/22/2009 11:28:51 AM | | Whatever the feelings, the worst thing that can happen is to either go back, of for them to come back. In my experience, the ones that leave you are doing you a big favour, and the ones that you leave are being done a big favour. Yes, it all hurts, but nothing like being somewhere where you know you don't want to be, or with someone you know wants to be somewhere else.... | |
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| What is the strangest way you were told it was over
Posted: 10/22/2009 11:46:41 AM |
People leave or are left usually because they want someone/something better. They don't realize that the better is inside themselves.
I don't get this. Does this mean they shouldn't leave? Because realizing you're the
best person inside and out...isn't going to help you stay in a relationship that isn't
working?
And rearguard...that's interesting you say that. I was the one that left...and a
few years later my ex thanked me. He said it was something that had to be done,
but he would never have had the courage to do it. | |
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| What is the strangest way you were told it was over
Posted: 10/22/2009 11:50:54 AM | | I agree with mirabelle. Its all a matter of what decisions you make on a daily basis. Unfortunately most people don't have the skills to get themselves back to happiness once the negative habits develop. You really have to get control of yourself and think differently about your SO, and they must do the same. | |
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| What is the strangest way you were told it was over
Posted: 10/22/2009 7:13:42 PM | Oh I agree that going back or taking them back is the epitamy of kicking your own ass.
I did it twice with this guy. AND maybe a few mini take-backs after he holed up into his days of silence and I dug him out for SOME STUPID REASON.
RED FLAGS, from him(offered up freely) that I refused to acknowledge.
Once, when broken up, he was obviously sad and drove the 90 miles to my house but I was not at home. He left me a note from a piece of his mail that had his name on it and the line.......you deserve more.
Oh never mind, it's pointless, there were many flags I refused to see, and some of them were probably his way of ending it, but I didn't want to see it. (bangs head against wall ).
I CAN SEE CLEARLY NOW THE RAIN IS GONE.......... | |
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| What is the strangest way you were told it was over
Posted: 10/23/2009 2:04:04 PM | | I tossed out my last boyfriend after we had lived together about five years. The last year was not so hot, and I asked him several times if it was over, did he want to move on. (We lived in my house.) and he said no... It became a thing of convenience more than lovers. I could tell something was up and I finally checked his email and he was emailing someone across country and telling her all KINDS of lies about himself. Complete fantasy baloney, retired war hero, sharprshooter, firefighter, ex-marine, retired cattle rancher, big trust fund, lots of real estate, travelling businessman. LAWDavMERCY!!! I saved a screen shot of her privates and made it his screen saver. When he got home and saw it I told him to pack up and move across country. He did. They married. She was 72, health problems, I think he was totally gold digging her. I warned her, but she married him anyhow... that was the strangest one ever. | |
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| What is the strangest way you were told it was over
Posted: 10/23/2009 2:17:18 PM | yeah not so much told as noticing he was noticing my daughter more than me. Couldn't get off the couch for me. Couldn't even walk the dogs. Stopped working to 'babysit' for my daughter BUT the kids were in daycare all day and my daughter works nights
Then a friend hit me in the head with a 2x4 and I finally got it | |
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