| Does this make me a cougar?
Posted: 10/6/2009 6:59:18 AM | To me, a "cougar" is a woman old enough to be the younger mans' mother. I don't think you'd be old enough to be his mother, so by my definition you wouldn't be a "cougar". Course, the definition of "cougar" is open to interpretation! Go out with him and enjoy his company and don't worry about whatever "labels" others attach to the relationship! It will be between you and him! Nothing to be concerned about!  | |
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| Does this make me a cougar?
Posted: 10/6/2009 12:04:35 PM | Prrrrrfect! No reason for you to hesitate in the least. I've dated a few older women over the years and based on those relationships, I'll take experience over youth anytime. From a practical standpoint; mutual interests, friends activities, for people in the 30 to 60 age range (middle aged) I'd say you can happily date withing about a 15 year range. I'm picturing a say age 45 woman and an age 30 man. NOT a 32 year old man and an 18 year old woman. the younger you are the smaller the age range. | |
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| Does this make me a cougar?
Posted: 10/6/2009 9:35:45 PM | I didn't know how I would feel about this when I started with personals a couple years ago. I figured +- 5 yrs would feel like "the same age". When it came to clicking on mens' ads, I found they'd usually be within 3 years. For me, 5 is nothing and 15 sounds like a lot. I never got to find out what 10 would seem like. I'm big on being a peer both ways.
... That said, I did have a very nice connection with a ballroom dance instructor who was 19 when I was 37!! Some confusion was part of the fun - but we didn't get *that* confused. Actually, I was partially his father figure - I'm not even kidding! His father had recently passed, and had had a job similar to mine, and I was available to "talk shop" in a way that other ballroom dance instructors were not fulfilling for him.
He's a good kid, we're linked on facebook, he's got a GF his own age and looks really happy about it! | |
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| Does this make me a cougar?
Posted: 10/6/2009 9:38:15 PM | I hate the term personally.
But yeah I guess that qualifies.
I prefer to think that cougars are those who are HUNTING fresh young meat. Not the ones who stumble on it accidentally....but oh well.
I'll lick my paws and growl if that's what it takes. | |
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| Does this make me a cougar?
Posted: 10/7/2009 10:05:06 AM | | A friend of a friend is 50 and seeing a 24 year old, they're having the time of their lives...enjoy! | |
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| Does this make me a cougar?
Posted: 10/7/2009 12:38:46 PM | | Sounds like he's an alright guy.Don't hold it against him if he's a little younger.Guys date younger women all the time,and get a pat on the back for it.There is nothing different here.You are adults and adte for yourselves,nobody else.So enjoy his company,treat it like you do any other relationship.Best of luck! | |
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| Does this make me a cougar?
Posted: 10/7/2009 3:21:29 PM | "A friend of a friend is 50 and seeing a 24 year old, they're having the time of their lives...enjoy!"
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Yeah, I'll bet that they have a lot in common. *laugh* | |
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| Does this make me a cougar?
Posted: 10/7/2009 4:12:58 PM | | They're having fun...none of my business, I don't even know them BUT I don't pass judgement | |
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| Does this make me a cougar?
Posted: 10/7/2009 4:43:54 PM |
Yeah, I'll bet that they have a lot in common. *laugh
Would you be saying the same thing if a guy was 50 and a girl was 24?? I bet not. You'd pat him on the back...admit it. Grrrrr!! It's that double standard thing, which I despise.  | |
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| Does this make me a cougar?
Posted: 10/7/2009 4:57:58 PM |
Would you be saying the same thing if a guy was 50 and a girl was 24?? I bet not. You'd pat him on the back...admit it. Grrrrr!! It's that double standard thing, which I despise.
Of course there's a double standard. Because if you are asking a guy, he'll imagine himself as the 50 year old man and be thinking "Cool!"
Whereas if he imagines himself as the 24 year old guy dating the 50 year old woman, he'll likely think "Ughh, creepy." | |
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| Does this make me a cougar?
Posted: 10/7/2009 5:01:04 PM | "Would you be saying the same thing if a guy was 50 and a girl was 24?? I bet not. You'd pat him on the back...admit it. Grrrrr!! It's that double standard thing, which I despise."
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It's ridiculous. We all know what it's about - fuc-king and/or money, nothing else. I can only laugh when I hear about such things. Maybe it's time to break records here and start dating 12 year olds or why not 90 year olds at the nursing homes... | |
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| Does this make me a cougar?
Posted: 10/7/2009 5:33:59 PM |
Neither of us had any alcohol. Im 39 almost 40. We have talked several times since and are planning on going out Wednesday. But now I feel funny because of what my friend said. What will people think if we start dating and should it matter? I told my friend about him and how we shared alot of common interests and she made me feel insecure with that one comment. I have never dated younger men than me so Im a little worried now.
why are you seeking your friends approval? of course she's gonna be ticked off your dating some one younger. | |
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| Does this make me a cougar?
Posted: 10/8/2009 6:37:45 AM |
Maybe it's time to break records here and start dating 12 year olds or why not 90 year olds at the nursing homes...
Do you have a point in the above statement?
Also, I hate to burst your bubble, but for some people it's actually about liking the person and enjoying their company, whether they be younger or older. It's as simple as that, but I'm sure someone who appears to be as cynical as you are wouldn't understand that. | |
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| Does this make me a cougar?
Posted: 10/8/2009 6:43:02 AM | "Also, I hate to burst your bubble, but for some people it's actually about liking the person and enjoying their company, whether they be younger or older. It's as simple as that, but I'm sure someone who appears to be as cynical as you are wouldn't understand that."
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*Laugh* Yeah yeah, I'm sure they have a lot in common there... | |
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| Does this make me a cougar?
Posted: 10/8/2009 7:36:09 AM | Am I the only one that is sick of the term cougar? I'm AMAZED some women find this to be a compliment.
it's not a compliment.... just a variation on derogatory terms for women, of which there are plenty. Cougar has been around for awhile, and now there are even more terms, such as puma.
There are no equivalent terms for men....even calling a man a "slut" does not connote the same level of distaste as calling a woman "slut"
Your friend is perhaps jealous, and the world order is apparently threatened if a woman is involved with a younger man (because, after all, the world order IS a man with a younger woman). So your friend, perhaps under the guise of humour, is reinforcing this view
I am not interested in large age differences, either older or younger. As for people saying it can't work out...well, how many of your relationshps have worked out? Geez. Relationships do not last forever, ever. One person is always left alone at some point. | |
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| Does this make me a cougar?
Posted: 10/8/2009 7:42:33 AM | Edit: oops wrong spot.
After reading your profile "robertkoi" (or lack of) You seem to be pissed off at the world.
Sure glad we're not all dumb aszes like you. How would you know what people do and dont have in common? You sure your not just mad becasue no one around your age or older would put up with you? | |
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| Does this make me a cougar?
Posted: 10/8/2009 7:57:17 AM | just to add something about "cougar"
when this term was first used (about 20 years ago), it was used to describe an older unattractive (50+) woman who was wearing a lot of animal-print spandex, trying desperately and hungrily to hunt down young men in bars. They had face-lifts or some kind of plastic surgery, and were trying to look younger. They were figures of ridicule and contempt.
I think what irritates me is that now that the term has moved into the mainstream, I have heard "cougar" applied to women in their 30s!!! good grief. A 45-year-old man dating a 25-year-old woman is called lucky. | |
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| Does this make me a cougar?
Posted: 10/8/2009 12:27:23 PM | Just wanted to let everyone know, I had a wonderful time last night. I ended up going to watch him play softball as he had a game at the park near my home. After the game I ended up meeting several of his friends and they were very nice. Anyway, after he went home and got ready (I went home as well) he picked me up and we went to a nice dinner and had another comfortable evening talking. So who knows....Oh and not once has he been disresectful talking about sex or anything like that. He asked for a kiss goodnight but I had to decline due to the fact I had been sick since Saturday and although I felt alot better , I didnt want to chance passing him anything. But I did get a nice hug!  | |
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| Does this make me a cougar?
Posted: 10/8/2009 1:07:10 PM | | I'm so glad you had a great time! Always remember to judge for yourself, no matter what anyone else thinks. If you're comfortable and happy with a person, that's all that matters. Kudos to you for following your instincts! | |
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| Does this make me a cougar?
Posted: 10/9/2009 8:40:53 AM | | 39...Youre not old enough. I wouldn't look to far into the words of a teasing friend. Thats what they're there for. I'm 30 myself and have dated a woman that was 45. We had a very Hot relationship. As long as the spark is there who cares, get it where you can. There is no limit to the happiness you can feel. Sometimes it comes in taboo packages. Tear that bad boy apart find out if interests are alligned. | |
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| Does this make me a cougar?
Posted: 10/9/2009 9:06:52 AM | | I think there is no reason not to date regarding your ages, its not like he is an adolesent, he is a grown man and an age difference at your ages are within acceptable ranges. I dated a women ten years older than me. I was 40 and she was 50. I never felt there was anything wrong with it but she was the one that brought up the age and eventually age made no difference. If there was say 20 year difference then that may put a crimp on matters of intrests. | |
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| Does this make me a cougar?
Posted: 10/9/2009 6:44:25 PM | | No you are not a cougar. A cougar is a woman that goes out intentionally to get a younger man you know a hottie. Also she wants to pay for everything from his underwear to his car. She has to be a woman. | |
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| Does this make me a cougar?
Posted: 10/15/2009 7:08:58 PM | | Hey five....all I can say is..."U go girl" who cares what anyone thinks, there again the old "double standard" ...do what u want to do !!..U are a grown woman and hes an adult as well.... | |
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| Does this make me a cougar?
Posted: 10/15/2009 9:43:15 PM | Why on earth should you care? I'm sorry your friend made you feel insecure about it.
My mom said this to me once - 'love is hard enough to find, why put any boundaries on it'
Though I think taking that statement too literally would be a mistake, I think in general it holds true. If you like him then go for it. And anyway, if you didn't guess his age then other people probably won't either. | |
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