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| What does it mean when a woman says...
Posted: 10/5/2009 5:08:19 AM | Sometimes it means just what it says. Or I discovered once that when a guy says it, it's true. If someone says that to me, I take it at face value. I didn't believe him, and I should have. I DID deserve someone better than him.
When someone tells you who they are? BELIEVE THEM. | |
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| What does it mean when a woman says...
Posted: 10/5/2009 6:15:05 AM | | It means she is not interested in you. She is taking the coward way out instead of telling you the real reasons she doesn't want to be with you. | |
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| What does it mean when a woman says...
Posted: 10/5/2009 8:08:22 AM | | Doesnt nessescerily mean that she is a player ... she could be like me .. and hate to hurt somone..... that is the part that often puts you off forming new relationships ... the fear of getting hurt or on the other hand the fear of hurting somone else .... and at the end of a day its best to end a relationship when it is clearly not doing it for you anymore ... but instead we sometimes keep it going because the person is just so nice ....and we dont want to hurt them .... IT ACTUALLY HURTS MORE when they find out that you are just keeping them hanging on ..... we are adults and must face tha fact that we are not everyones cup of tea .... and even though we may be nice and good people we are not going to be what everyone is looking for .... if possible freinds would be good !! but seldom work out as one is feeling more than the other ... Try not to take it personally and let it hurt your ego { easier said than done !} and dont let it stand in the way of forming new relationships ... there is a lid for every pot out there !! | |
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| What does it mean when a woman says...
Posted: 10/5/2009 8:29:32 AM | | I agree with everyone who says it's a way for a woman to pretend she is caring and nice while she's dumping you. Don't think twice about it, juuuuuust move on, and find a woman who doesn't say that. | |
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| What does it mean when a woman says...
Posted: 10/5/2009 8:31:52 AM | Depends on what it's followed by. If it's followed by a sense of depression and/or clinginess, it could be A or B.
If it's followed by her suddenly becoming busy all the time, not answering her phone as often, and keeping interactions with you short and sparse, it's definitely D.
And the only place you're likely for it ever to be C is if it's coming from a platonic friend that has no interest in you. Like when my female friends tell me to stop dating crazy girls. | |
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| What does it mean when a woman says...
Posted: 10/5/2009 9:06:56 AM |
"You deserve someone better than me." I only ask because I've heard it more than once. Is it;-jon boi Its a Euphemism for you're a nice guy , Translation: You poor Sap, You've bored this poor woman to death with your kindness and she needs more excitement and you've bent over backwards to please her and she cant handle it. | |
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| What does it mean when a woman says...
Posted: 10/5/2009 10:41:07 AM | the broad answer.......she actually does think you
are "better" than her.....maybe she feels as though
she cannot live up to your expectations....maybe in
a roundabout sorta way you make her feel "beneath
you"....not necessarily....but, you must understand
that some men AND women feel threatened by another's
achievements, goals, and overall zest for life.....some
people actually become insecure around a driven
individual.....
it happens...
my other thought was this.....
she cheated on you ....or (knows she will)... or
wants to cheat....
and this is her way of inadvertantly "letting you know"
jus throwin that out there | |
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| What does it mean when a woman says...
Posted: 10/5/2009 11:28:57 AM | | It means she is letting you down easy. I've done it many times. You find a really nice man that doesn't do it for you and you don't want to hurt his feeling, so you let him think is me not you. You will make someone very happy (which is true) but is not going to be me. | |
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| What does it mean when a woman says...
Posted: 10/5/2009 12:24:41 PM | | OP you seem to allude to the idea that you have a bit of a self esteem issue yourself. I believe she was just trying to break it off without hurting you too much. If she had no respect for you, she would/could have been much blunter or worse, just disappeared. I don't know you obviously but if this keeps happening, maybe you need to look at how you feel about yourself and what you deserve in a relationship. Maybe you need to work on your confidence and then look for a relationship that meets your needs and the other person's. Just my opinion of course. No criticism meant so please don't read any into it? | |
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| What does it mean when a woman says...
Posted: 10/5/2009 12:29:47 PM |
agree with everyone who says it's a way for a woman to pretend she is caring and nice while she's dumping you.
I agree with the 'dumping you' part. That said, there are many women who truly ARE caring and nice, and when she finds that her feelings for a man she's been dating just aren't strong enough to sustain a loving LTR,she tries to to end the involvement as kindly as possible.
Of course, I could be mistaken, maybe some men think "caring and nice" means ignore her own feelings, just pretend to love the guy even though she doesn't. of course a lot of guys would vastly prefer THAT pretence,right?
OP,
It's just a social nicety, a kindness from a woman who hasn't yet learned that simply cutting off contact with a guy is how you're SUPPOSED to do a breakup. I hope she never learns. Maybe eventually men will stop thinking that "real women" are unmitigated b*tches,and realize that "caring and nice" really DOES exist, though I have to recommend that women use their caring and niceness wisely. Unfortunately, sometimes one must be a b*tch for the greater good.
Cindy O
"mitigated' b*tch | |
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| What does it mean when a woman says...
Posted: 10/5/2009 12:41:34 PM | She could mean exactly what she's saying -- expressing her fear that if you really get to know her you won't like her and/or will reject her in time.
Or she's pulling a George Costanza on you: it's not you, it's me.
You know her and can read her body language and judge by her past actions with you. We don't. | |
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| What does it mean when a woman says...
Posted: 10/5/2009 12:42:01 PM | | I'd go with number 4 if you hear that alot. Confront the woman- ask her if she wants to break up- don't let her cheat on you. | |
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PiggyT
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Joined: 9/14/2009
Msg: 71 | |
| What does it mean when a woman says...
Posted: 10/5/2009 1:04:36 PM | | Whenever I hear that, I tell them that I will hang on to them until they find me a suitable replacement. Usually they sing a different tune after hearing me say that. | |
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| Find a gal with a better wardrobe
Posted: 10/5/2009 2:12:23 PM | First of all, you have to understand 'with all thy getting GET understanding.'
Let me share something that may help you the rest of your life.
When people have holes in their 'love bucket' they will give you a lot of 'negative styles' like what you heard.
What she is saying (if she is truly honest...however, if she is not honest then I'll note something a little later here to help you) is what is called 'a POOR me!' That is a negative style when she says that; that is, if she is truly honest.
People struggle with 'feelings of lovability' and 'feelings of capability.' She is telling you a lot about herself with that kind of comment. When your with a woman the greatest thing you can do is really listen and it wouldn't hurt to note a few things down after a date just to keep some things in mind with a bit of perspective and objectivity. (The way to see eye-to-eye is with BOTH of our ears).
There are a lot of negatives styles human beings bring out from their "wardrobe of life and living" which usually is either a habit with them or a way they've been able to find a coping method they think serves them to get what they think they need here and there along their life's path.
I've dated a lot of women of about every nationality and diverse religions as well. They all have a spark of the divine within them; yet, the key is to find someone you can walk along in this life's journey with. If we can't be in agreement then we really can't walk together (Amos 3.3). She is giving you "Negative Styles" with words like that a classic "POOR ME" (Pity) and you don't need that.
Now, IF she is NOT honest and she is being sarcastic THEN she is treading on holy ground since you are investing time-and-effort to be with her and this is the kind of wooden nickel she serves up; well, understand the word sarcasm means 'cutting of the flesh.' Sometimes it is important to agree with your adversary and MOVE ON and 'thank God for unanswered prayers!'
Some advice may be the worst kind of VICE; yet, with her words 'I'd take her at her word' and be glad she did you a favor. I've been told that by a gal, I recollect a few decades ago, and I've lived to see what kind of person she (V.Lynn S.) was and how her life played out as the word (thru the grapevine) flows back sometimes on people and her life was not or has not been as pretty and attractive as she was because inside she was NOT that way to match the great potential what she 'might' of been.
That is sad to hear people say things like that (what you were told by this gal). You may reflect back to her something like, "You should really think about what your saying for your (her) own sake." If you look at it with eyes of insight she is telling you a lot of things she is trying on from a "negative wardrobe" to say the least.
Sometimes the best thing you can do is when people are telling you WHO they really are DON'T ARGUE BACK-- 'listen and learn' and make the best choices for yourself on all THE INSIGHT life gives you day-to-day if you will really see with your eyes and hear with your ears and process with wisdom you will be surprised how much more peace in life you will have, to say the least, and spare yourself a lot of trouble others who draw from negative styles, ad infinitum, will dish out to you -- why live with that?
Look for a gal with a better wardrobe to draw from,
BillyG | |
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| Find a gal with a better wardrobe
Posted: 10/5/2009 2:29:38 PM | She's droppin' ya, and she said you're too good for her because she:
1) doesn't want you to make a fuss or cause complications;
2) wants to assuage her sense of guilt for using you like a tissue;
3) is passive aggressive;
4) is lacking sufficient integrity to tell you the truth. | |
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| What does it mean when a woman says...
Posted: 10/5/2009 2:36:47 PM | | It means the relationship isnt working out and she doesn't know how to be honest why so she is trying to elevate you so she doesnt feel bad about giving you the ax | |
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| Find a gal with a better wardrobe
Posted: 10/5/2009 2:39:34 PM | "You deserve someone better than me"
Option 1) An cop-out of a let down. Variation on ye olde "It's not you, it's me."
Option 2) She wants you to turn around and say "no no no, you're wonderful, ". It's a form of ego stroking.
Option 3) She is telling the truth and is honest about her shortcomings. | |
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