| new g/f cant handle her alcohol
Posted: 10/4/2009 11:18:39 PM | | If it's a problem for you, it's a problem. If going out and getting plastered EVERY weekend is not your idea of a good time, then you two aren't compatible. At this point, I'd be more concerned about how much the wild n' crazy behavior carries over into her day job. You can do what you want in your free time, but if you are drunk and/or hung over while caring for my child, there would be hell to pay! | |
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| new g/f cant handle her alcohol
Posted: 10/4/2009 11:33:33 PM | Run, don't walk. Four weeks, she should be putting her best foot forward, what you have seen is likely only the tip of the drinking iceberg.
And, btw, not surprising that the L word has been used, major dysfunction and good luck with that whole teacher at daycare thing should she be the type that won't allow a drama-free "break-up." | |
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| new g/f cant handle her alcohol
Posted: 10/4/2009 11:57:14 PM | So in the 4 weeks you've been seeing her, she's gotten plastered infront of you 3 times?
Jeebus. I dunno. I kind of like my guy to see me in the best positive light unless I have no choice...the flu comes to mind.
I like to drink and go out but typically the only people who get to see me drunk are my sister, brother or my best friend. I think I've only gotten totally wasted infront of a boyfriend one time and I was with him for 3 yrs. Just something I don't do. And it's usually because it snuck up on me. Typically I like to be the one watching the drunks. It's entertaining and just reminds me that much more to not be those people.
So I would probably pass on her if I were you. That's way too soon to be getting that sh*tfaced infront of a guy she's just met. | |
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| new g/f cant handle her alcohol
Posted: 10/5/2009 12:08:12 AM | "Then, OP, your own profile says that you drink 3+ times per week. Really? I would consider this MUCH more risky behaviour in terms of alcoholism."
Why do you think this? A glass of wine before bed does not even remotely relate to drinking to excess where you get plastered and cannot even take yourself home.
I know plenty of guys that when they get home, they kick back with scotch, a beer or wine and none I would classify as alcoholics ecause like the commercials are fond of saying they drink in "moderation."
OP's new love interest is not doing this. She has to rely on others to be there. | |
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| new g/f cant handle her alcohol
Posted: 10/5/2009 12:16:19 AM |
Agreed. Daily or even a few times a week is an issue. Not being able to deal without a drink is an issue. But I am not seeing this. This is not a daily problem...
No, it's a binge drinking problem - every time she drinks, she gets drunk. That is another variant of alcoholism.
BTW - your top 10 - real good set of rationales drunks use to explain away their drinking.
You have a problem if you 'need' a drink. Nobody should 'need' a drink - even one is too many if you 'need' it. | |
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| new g/f cant handle her alcohol
Posted: 10/5/2009 1:33:34 AM | | Find a novice drinker, sic. cheap drunk who is unable to handle more than two dainty glasses before keeling over with delerium tremens while talking to the walls. These are the better type of women deserving your utmost respect since they know less is more in the long run before everything goes pear shaped. | |
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| new g/f cant handle her alcohol
Posted: 10/5/2009 5:51:52 AM | are you really that daft man?
you arent daft, just looking for a "get out of jail" card and asking our permission to use it.
what did you think was gonna happen when you went drinking with her? booze raises the level of testosterone in women to make them more direct and assertive. it also makes ya less inhibited to express yourself. like you never did that in your own life???
grow up and stop using women to emotionally self-defend yourselfm under the guise of being "selective"!! | |
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| new g/f cant handle her alcohol
Posted: 10/5/2009 5:56:13 AM | No disrespect towards your new GF but, she`s got demons that must be dealt with before she can consider having any normal relationship.
She`s a danger to herself not only to you but her family as well.... | |
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| new g/f cant handle her alcohol
Posted: 10/5/2009 6:09:39 AM | Woo hoo you are dating an alcoholic teacher of children - what a classy gal she sounds like! Lucky you!
That's exactly the type of person I would want to be dating.
Someone who's a leader of our children AND plastered and hanging out at bars.
Please tell us, OP, why you desire to be with a person of this moral character and ethics... | |
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| new g/f cant handle her alcohol
Posted: 10/5/2009 6:13:32 AM | SD's ABC's of a lush.
Abhor
Become
Condemn
Drink
Everything/Easy
Forget
Some alcoholics embrace their problem by classifying themselves as an Alcoholic or "A Professional" in an attempt to put you off of their trail with humor.
Others are just plain in denial.
IMHO, the drinking is a sign of a larger problem and the alcohol allows them to exhibit aberrant behavior in contradiction to what they profess to stand for. Then they can always explain away that "I don't remember doing that, I'm sorry."
In my experience, Everything they Abhor and Condemn they Become when Drinking because it's Easy to Forget either the current behavior or something in their past that they remain unhealed from.
As an adult child of an alcoholic parent, it may be easier to overlook the warning signs and fall into the role of a fixer or an enabler, even though I know better. OP, sounds like you know better too.
There's a difference between knowing and doing. 
One can only help if the recipient wants help. When trying to help, you must remain on solid ground while trying to pull them out of the abyss. Try too hard and you'll get sucked into it yourself, then you're not capable of helping either of you. | |
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| new g/f cant handle her alcohol
Posted: 10/5/2009 6:34:18 AM | | I'm willing to bet her problem is much bigger than what you saw. You probably saw her trying to behave... | |
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| new g/f cant handle her alcohol
Posted: 10/5/2009 6:38:06 AM | | jesus...he didnt say she was drunk at work. lets not even go there . a woman who has too much to drink in someone elses opinion is not necessarily unfit to be around children when sober. this absurd idea is why teachers have a difficult time getting support for a problem once they are aware of having one. they are very isolated. its also not true, that an alcoholic requires alot of drinks to get drunk. you cant diagnose her, only she can, and alcoholics are always the last to know. if it bothers you, tell her you want to do activities that dont involve drinking or take it as a sign of incompatability and move on. the "L" word i wouldnt see as a problem. i dont hold anyone to anything they say while drunk or having an orgasm. | |
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| new g/f cant handle her alcohol
Posted: 10/5/2009 7:33:33 AM | Ummm Slick is it, im not sure what the problem is? she's not getting drunk and watching your kids at school, and from the sounds of it, she's not driving drunk , you're driving her.
Your profile says you like to drink more than 3 times a week and she's drinking on the weekends, To me if she's not endangering the children in her day care lives, or getting smashed and getting into her car, let her be.
I think you're making a big deal out of nothing, If she's not coming to school smashed, hung over and doesn't drink during the day or evening when she is home and lets loose on the weekend so what? as long as she's not endangering lives. | |
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| new g/f cant handle her alcohol
Posted: 10/5/2009 7:58:34 AM | | (L) word...meaning lush?? hahahahahahaha...seriously though..she needs A.A. not a b/f right now..she's self-medicating for some reason... | |
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| new g/f cant handle her alcohol
Posted: 10/5/2009 8:01:41 AM | | Well, your profile says you drink 3+ times per week. Perhaps she thought she had found a guy that likes to party as much as she does. But if you do not her ways then stop dating her. | |
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| new g/f cant handle her alcohol
Posted: 10/5/2009 8:11:31 AM | It dosn't matter if she's an alcoholic or not, what does matter is as you stated, "...she takes it way too far for me..." . You do not like this kind of behavior so why try to fix something that you don't want anyway? I would feel like such an ass if I got drunk in front of a potential new boyfriend so early on, I have too much respect for myself. Actually I would have more respect for him too now that I think about it.
I guess the real concern now is your children as they are under her care. My hope is that you can explain to her that you don't think the two of you are a match and she will be adult enough to handle it well so that you don't have to worry about what she may or may not do to your kids. It's easy to advise you to take them out of that day care but it's not so easy to find a new one and the kids are settled here. See how she reacts and keep a close eye on things. Obviously if she freaks pull them out but if she dosn't and is an adult about it, is a professional at her job, keep an eye on things. Sure things are going to be uncomfortable for awhile but if she is a professional she will be able to leave her personal life at home.
By the way, not to scold, but you do know that you shouldn't be dating kid's teachers or coworkers, etc for situations like this right? Oh wait, you didn't know that, but you do now! P.S. I love you man! LOL! | |
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| new g/f cant handle her alcohol
Posted: 10/5/2009 8:13:33 AM | OP you came across a drunken Lush in a bar while you where having your 3+
times a week, that you drink and your complaining.
Yes women can get very Nasty when their especially if the cant handle
the Alcohol like many men also. | |
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| new g/f cant handle her alcohol
Posted: 10/5/2009 8:14:11 AM |
what should i do about this
Don't sh*t where you eat.
Don't date co-workers or your kid's teachers. | |
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| new g/f cant handle her alcohol
Posted: 10/5/2009 8:58:17 AM | Sorry folks but I"m calling bullshyt on this one.
jesus...he didnt say she was drunk at work. lets not even go there . a woman who has too much to drink in someone elses opinion is not necessarily unfit to be around children when sober
It doesn't matter?
It DOES matter.
It's my opinion that certain occupations REQUIRE a higher value set of morals and ethics.
Doctors.
Lawyers. (Yeah wouldn't that be nice!?)
Cops
Judges
Teachers
Sure it's a candy cane fantasy but face it - the fact that as a society we're trying to cut people slack for being really crappy and immoral individuals is the reason we're all going to Hell in a hand basket and in truth? It's a lame azz set of excuses for being out of control of your own behavior as an adult.
A DRUNK day care worker?
A SO BLITZED teacher that she is unable to make good choices, and drive is who you WANT teaching your child?
I don't.
And I DO believe we as a society have a right to say "Hell no that's NOT okay."
Many schools have a behavior clause in the teacher's contracts. Sounds like this Day Care needs one. | |
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| new g/f cant handle her alcohol
Posted: 10/5/2009 9:14:50 AM | I see too many snap judgements on something that is easily misunderstood. You could always try taking her somewhere where alcohol isnt involved.
TELL HER that you're concerned. If someone I was dating said to me that drinking alcohol was a problem, I'd simply go without the damn booze. Maybe she isn't aware that you are not enjoying yourself.
Some people can take it or leave it, some can't.
If you tell her and she keeps going, then by all means it's time to back away.
I recently had a situation where I was stranded because the person who drove me had too much and I wasnt willing to get in the car, but I don't think my driver was an "alcoholic". I found another friend who drove us both home that evening. | |
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| new g/f cant handle her alcohol
Posted: 10/5/2009 9:18:27 AM | | I clearly place a disclaimer on my profiletelling someone i`m not into someone who finds the need to drink like there`s no tomorrow or smoke cigs or pot to relax... Many here do the same... Again, why waste time? | |
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| new g/f cant handle her alcohol
Posted: 10/5/2009 10:28:24 AM | i'm more concerned that she is a alcoholic day
care provider .......idk to me that's like catching
old lady Milligan...the town Librarian.....ducking
behind the card catalog sipping moonshine.. | |
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| new g/f cant handle her alcohol
Posted: 10/5/2009 10:41:47 AM |
A drunk for a day care teacher. Nice.
If you stop seeing her, take your kids with you.
I can't believe you'd knowingly leave your kids in the care of a drunk. .
OP -
1) I can't believe you let a drunk take care of your kids all day
and
2) You shouldn't date your kids teacher. Don't shit where you eat.... | |
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| new g/f cant handle her alcohol
Posted: 10/5/2009 10:48:12 AM | Nice. An alcoholic daycare teacher.
You need to run as fast as you can ... unless you just enjoy being around sloppy drunks.
Oh, and don't read too much into her using the "L" word ... she was drunk and you've only known her for a month. | |
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