| new g/f cant handle her alcohol
Posted: 10/5/2009 11:07:28 AM |
It's my opinion that certain occupations REQUIRE a higher value set of morals and ethics.
Doctors.
Lawyers. (Yeah wouldn't that be nice!?)
Cops
Judges
Teachers
So the supposed point here is that people that drink have lower morals and sense of ethics!? Seriously?? Actually I agree with you that people in those professions should have a high standard of values, but enjoying alcoholic beverages on the weekend doesn't lower that standard.
I do see an awful lot of over reaction here, and the usual shouts of "run" from the POFers who'd rather bail than communicate. Nowhere did the OP say that his new lady friend was drinking during work. It sounds like he has seen her on different weekend nights when she's had a few with her friends and hasn't handled it well. Having a few isn't necessarily a problem. Now getting bombed whenever you do drink, regardless of how often you drink, could indicate a problem. I've known plenty of social, weekend drunks and even alcoholics (my father for one), so I know what I'm talking about here.
If you care about this woman OP, sit her down and talk to her about your concerns, that you've seen her out of control quite a few times recently and you're worried about her behavior. If its not a weekend for her without booze you might have an issue, but give her the benefit of the doubt until you know for sure. | |
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| new g/f cant handle her alcohol
Posted: 10/5/2009 11:15:34 AM | | OP - I think the talk about her being an alcoholic is a bit reactionary here - that would be for you to judge, since you actually know her! I'm tending to think that's not the case, you didn't seem to suggest that - only that she can't "handle" her alcohol. I'll infer from your profile of drinking more than 3 times a week, and interests of Bud Light and Captain Morgans that this would be an issue with you...if she gets drunk and sloppy...so I would say OP either you find something OTHER to do than drink with her, or give up on this one! | |
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| new g/f cant handle her alcohol
Posted: 10/5/2009 11:44:32 AM | I love the asshat "alcoholic" comments in this thread.
Get a clue. Hope fully you can find one on sale that comes with instructions on how to use it. With the money you save maybe you'll invest in some common sense too.
Alcoholics or drunk as I refer to myself and others of the like wouldn't be leaving the bar or the party till all the booze was gone.
Drunks like myself and others like me refer to her type as "Amateurs". They go out and put one on a few times a year and act just like you describe.
Try getting together and do something that doesn't involve drinking. Unless that becomes an issue for her, she was just letting go and having some fun. May not have been fun for you, but I bet it was at the time for her. | |
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| new g/f cant handle her alcohol
Posted: 10/5/2009 11:46:15 AM | Many folks can't handle their alcohol....at least it seams that way sometimes.. Heck I can't even handle my on alcohol but would be completely miserable without that wonderful numbness feeling it brings me when I have a few.. Anyways, if you feel she drinks to much then end the relationship and find someone who does not drink as much. And it is one thing if we are talking beer here, versus some one who drinks a gallon of gin a week. If she is getting drunk everyday then there is a problem, but a few times in the span of a month I don't see an issue.... Cheers.. | |
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| new g/f cant handle her alcohol
Posted: 10/5/2009 11:48:31 AM | Im in the run dont walk camp.
Alcoholics can be hell to be involved with, their behavior is bizarre, and they never accept accountability for their actions, blaming it all on "i was drunk".
I had a casual aquantaince who was a neighbor that was an alcoholic, get really bizaree and stalkerish, and even broke into my house when i told her i didnt care to be friends with her anymore, and would knock on my door at all hours and throw herelf in the middle of the street crying when i told her to scram. And this was an AQUANTANCE, imagine someone who was romantically involved with her-------scary.
There are plenty of nice women in the world who are not alcoholics, let this one go.
Im not against having a few and gdetting tipsy here n there, but if itgs every time you see her, forget it. Move on. You will onlyh be dragged into misery.
Alcoholics have to want to chaznge. You CAN NOT FIX THEM. many people think they can change one, all they do is ewither end up being an enabler, or sucked into the alcie's misery. Run run run baby. Been there done it, nothing good comes. | |
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| new g/f cant handle her alcohol
Posted: 10/5/2009 12:17:43 PM |
Hummm Rock Man ...... Does your term "Amateurs", be like an "alcoholic in training"?
:)
I could put a beer in just about everybody's hand and start calling them alcoholics.
They never have to even take a drink.
Alcoholism has little to nothing to do with the liquor.
Ask any "real" alcoholic that has recovered or is in recovery and they will tell you they had alcoholic behaviors long before they even started drinking. And many act the same even after years of not drinking.
Shet doesn't go back to better just because a drunk strops drinking. People just don't have the bottle to point their finger at as the cause.
People can throw around labels all they want when it comes to just about everything but alcoholism and I could care less. But most of the time when it comes to the people who seem to know so much about drunks tend to display most of the alcoholic behaviour themselves.
As we say "The bottle is but a symbol" . | |
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| new g/f cant handle her alcohol
Posted: 10/5/2009 12:26:54 PM | "People can throw around labels all they want when it comes to just about everything but alcoholism and I could care less. But most of the time when it comes to the people who seem to know so much about drunks tend to display most of the alcoholic behaviour themselves. "
^^^^^^^^
Well said and Cheers.. In my experience some of the folks doing the accusing have worse drinking problems than the ones that are being accused....and as always, this is not my fault, this or that is the reason why such and such happened...no I it can't be me with the problem... | |
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| Avoid the bad "CAT"
Posted: 10/5/2009 12:29:03 PM | I'd say have MORE respect for yourself.
Your a bar hop too and so your attracting the element you like to be around.
May I suggest a higher standard and avoid the bad C.A.T. altogether-
'C'affeine
'A'lcohol
'T'obacco
Step up to a higher standard. When you bring your mediocre performance up to a higher standard you will
learn to find greater peace in your life.
You understand? To please understand and NOT mis-understand. | |
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| new g/f cant handle her alcohol
Posted: 10/5/2009 12:43:34 PM | If i had a child in that daycare ? i sure would get them out quick ! if she gets that drunk to fast ? Maybe she is drinking while children are in her care. This worries me a bit.
As far as you ? your an adult and can just walk away.
I wish all you good luck | |
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| new g/f cant handle her alcohol
Posted: 10/5/2009 12:48:58 PM | Some of the responses amazes me, Unless I'm wrong ,I dont recall the OP saying this woman gets Smashed every night? just 3 times.
So its okay for this guy to date the teacher of his children, but it's not okay for his teacher/girlfriend to let loose and get smashed on the weekends (and not on a school night), taking in account she isn't hurting anyone, or a danger to the public?
Santa Luciaaaaaaaa
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| new g/f cant handle her alcohol
Posted: 10/5/2009 12:53:58 PM | 
Here here mahogany rush!!
The woman isnt an alcoholic, she doesnt drink everyday!
The word you all seem to be searching for, and would rather replace it with Alcoholic.....is BINGE DRINKER!! | |
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| new g/f cant handle her alcohol
Posted: 10/5/2009 1:10:49 PM |
The woman isnt an alcoholic, she doesnt drink everyday!
That's wrong. Not everyone drank everyday all day. Not all of lived under a bridge at one point in time. I never drank wine or even beer. I could go weeks with out a drink.
But yes, now the op must act and remove his child from that day care and do all he can to remove her from her job because she got drunk on a few dates. In bars and at parties with co-workers and friends.. This is what I mean about alcoholic behaviour. No drink needed.
Now because of the op's post she is now unfit to do her job.
If his child was in danger, thats what he gets for taking him to bars and adult parties!
Kudos Rush! | |
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| new g/f cant handle her alcohol
Posted: 10/5/2009 2:05:25 PM |
thats what he gets for taking her to bars and adult parties!
I dunno if the girl is a drunk or not... I do wonder about the pot/kettle thing though...
He can hold his liquor, drinks upwards of three times a week, she went to the bar with him... Then he complains that she drank...
I'd have taken her somewhere that alcohol wasn't in evidence...
Maybe both should go out to a 12 step meeting on their next date. | |
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| new g/f cant handle her alcohol
Posted: 10/5/2009 3:14:03 PM | | Don't take her to places where drinking is happening. Let her know you dont enjoy her company when she drinks. If it doesnt work out then maybe she needs counciling because its obvious she will loose the current relationship because of it. | |
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| new g/f cant handle her alcohol
Posted: 10/5/2009 3:15:18 PM | I wouldn't call her an alcoholic. You haven't known her long enough to know her habits. Getting drunk 3 times in 4 weeks isn't awful. Maybe she feels safe around you and doesn't know her limit because she DOESN'T drink all that often. Is she puking and falling all over the place? Or is she just more... open? In any case, if you don't like what you have seen so far, then you don't have to date her.
This is the part that disturbs me:
her and the other teachers were playin cards at the daycare before the bar and thats where she got drunk in like 2-3 hours
I am assuming they were drinking there after the daycare was closed, but still, that's not right. What kind of daycare is this? Someone's home or an establishment like KinderCare or something? I don't feel it's right for anyone to drink at their place of employment period, even if they're a bartender. It's the fact that she drank at her place of business that makes me think maybe she's just a very irresponsible person - not necessarily a drunk. | |
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| new g/f cant handle her alcohol
Posted: 10/5/2009 6:34:22 PM | whoa alot of responses i was not expecting it.
but for landra2 response was
A drunk for a day care teacher. Nice.
If you stop seeing her, take your kids with you.
I can't believe you'd knowingly leave your kids in the care of a drunk
i am smarter than that she doesnt teach my kids class and they dont drink at while at the daycare/ work | |
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| new g/f cant handle her alcohol
Posted: 10/5/2009 7:29:58 PM |
If it doesnt work out then maybe she needs counciling because its obvious she will loose the current relationship because of it.
And what if she's just not that interested in him and walks to save the drama?
Should we still be concerned about the need for counseling?
Feck with the way this thread is going A.A is going to need alot more chairs. Just about anything makes you a drunk these days... But no shet though. | |
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| new g/f cant handle her alcohol
Posted: 10/5/2009 8:09:25 PM | | If you really cared about her you would stay with her. Why is it people are so quick to throw labels on people such as alcoholic....stop judging her. Getting drunk every weekend is not alcoholism. | |
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| new g/f cant handle her alcohol
Posted: 10/5/2009 8:12:44 PM | | If you really cared about her you would stay with her. Why is it people are so quick to throw labels on people such as alcoholic....stop judging her. Getting drunk every weekend is not alcoholism. | |
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| new g/f cant handle her alcohol
Posted: 10/5/2009 9:36:08 PM |
I dunno if the girl is a drunk or not... I do wonder about the pot/kettle thing though...
He can hold his liquor, drinks upwards of three times a week, she went to the bar with him... Then he complains that she drank...
I have to go along with Stone-1. OP- your profile mentions you drink 3 or more times a week, interests of Captain Rum, Lite beer and going out to a bar or two as a favorite activity.
So what exactly is your beef? That she can't handle her alcohol? So if she drank 10 alcoholic drinks and acted fine, you wouldn't have a problem with her? Or is your issue that she doesn't act the the way you want her to act.
What does she do when she has had too much to drink?
By the way, if you choose to take the advice of run like  keep in mind, the woman in your next relationship may do the same to you. 
Just sayin | |
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| new g/f cant handle her alcohol
Posted: 10/5/2009 10:17:58 PM | If everyone I know who plays hard on the weekend after a week of working hard were considered alcoholics and unfit for their jobs, I wouldn't know many people with jobs.
OP, if you don't like her social behavior, stop socializing with her. That's why we date people before marrying them--to find out if we're compatible.
(But please don't do anything to endanger her job.) | |
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