| Still love her!
Posted: 10/6/2009 9:18:46 AM | scott you are very young, and lucky i would say to experience this now.
you have a perfect chance to start a new with someone else.
yes it hurts, i know from experience. and it hurts that she chose to be alone, but what if she chose someone else right away? there is no best way not to hurt someone else's feelings in a break up.
kudos to you for posting and venting a little, im sure other people's support will help you.
how can you get her back?
first you need to to know why you guys broke up, and if it is worth salvaging.
give yourself some time to let the emotions settle a little to get a clear head.
stop texting her. your getting your hopes up every time she answers back, hurting yourself even more in the end.
there will be others who will love you just as much and more, this i can definitely promise.
out of sight, out of mind. | |
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| Still love her!
Posted: 10/6/2009 10:07:52 AM | I get what everyone is saying on here with the main theme being stop the contact and everything with her....I will admit I have been lending her money because I said I would help her out...ive said its only because of my feelings for her Iam like this otherwise I wouldnt be.... she is flat sharing and studying at uni so its difficult for her financially........if there is no contact how the hell am I ever going to be with her again...it is hard because there is still some hope in me..
She is distant at the moment and hardly ever talks to me anymore and I dont conatct her everyday or text her at all but I do reply to her messages if she texts me im not playing games....i mean she never initiates me meeting up with her anynore either and we did this afyter we fiorst broke up and still had sex together.
I tried the no contact in the beginning but would send a message like....hey hows things hope your doing ok, thinking of you x
Ppl say further yourself go the gym, study...I play soccer to a high level 3 times per week and im beginning to lose interest in this..a sport I love...and im also studying myself at the min and working full time...just find myselkf thinkin od her all day everyday waiting for ner to contact me!!!
Why will no contact bring her back??
Im sorry for going on but appreciate the opinions of everyone on here...even if you all think im a sad fck! | |
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| Still love her!
Posted: 10/6/2009 11:43:39 AM | She is consuming your life, losing interest in hobbies is not a good sign.
The no contact rule is not meant to bring her back to you, it's so YOU can start the process of healing, and accept that the relationship is over. Break-up sex is another no-no, it will confuse the hell out of you and once again prolong the agony - been there myself.
I have to say she is being a manipulative cow, allowing you to help her financially, means contact is inevitably initiated. She knows how you're feeling, stop allowing her to play with your emotions. Cut the cord and move on. | |
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| Still love her!
Posted: 10/6/2009 12:12:30 PM |
Get some self control and stop allowing yourself to think of her!
When your pity party starts... get to the gym and work out.
Why do people always insist on giving this same silly advice, time and time again!
Going to a friggin' gym and working out, doesn't get rid of self pity or any other human emotion!
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| Still love her!
Posted: 10/6/2009 12:33:43 PM | Jesus Andy, don't be so angry.
Why don't you go to the gym and work it off. | |
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RMSB
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Joined: 9/26/2009
Msg: 31 | |
| Still love her!
Posted: 10/6/2009 2:10:06 PM | Dude YOU ARE 19
I know it sucks, it does, especially thinking or even seeing her with other guys.....you are a good looking kid you will be fine........but you have no idea what love is you are 19!
my advice to you is get your mind of this girl as fast as you can, it's hard but you gotta stop texting, and paying her rent?WTF?
the best way to get your mind off old girls is to start thinking about new girls, works everytime kid! | |
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| Still love her!
Posted: 10/6/2009 2:17:41 PM | | first I am very sorry about your heartbreak it is naturally and going to take some time to heal, like I always say there is no timetable to the healing process, some wounds take longer to heal than others and some never heal fully, but you answered your own post, "don't try to get her back" if she comes back it will be her choice not yours. | |
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| Still love her!
Posted: 10/6/2009 2:43:12 PM | | after reading what you've written i know what you're missing...the sex..the bit about "thinking of her with another guy" is a dead givaway...look, she's boinking some guy right now...doing all the things she did with you to him and lovin it....do you want that now? knowing she wants someone else? getting more enjoyment with him? time to give it up!. | |
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| Still love her!
Posted: 10/6/2009 3:12:24 PM | | Im at a similar spot to yourself Scott. My breakup is to long drawn out to go into here but my is seeing someone else for the last three weeks, but has slept with me on several occasions, the last time being Saturday and further complicating things. I do still love her and i know she still feels the same despite what she says. Her actions say otherwise. | |
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| Still love her!
Posted: 10/6/2009 4:48:29 PM | Give her so much space she feels like Neil Armstrong!
"If the Phone Doesn't Ring, It's Me"!!!
In the meantime go to the next bonfire, Spring Cotillion or 5 Kegger and work on something new. I promise you, it WILL make you feel better.
By the time your "loving ex-girlfriend" thinks, "I wonder how he's doing?", you will have succesfully moved on.
THIS IS THE WAY IT HAS ALWAYS WORKED AND IT WILL ALWAYS WORK THIS WAY! | |
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| Still love her!
Posted: 10/6/2009 5:53:24 PM | At some point you are going to find your self respect.
A man who respects himself does not loan money to an ex girlfriend trying to get her back. It's really sad.
Part of life is getting hurt, processing the data and moving on. You are spending waaaay too much time ruminating over this girl. If she was "the one" she would still be with you.
Does that make sense?
Now take all of this time that you are spending thinking of this girl and go out into the world and do something worthwhile. Going back to school would be a good start. | |
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| Still love her!
Posted: 10/6/2009 7:43:41 PM | Wow, and I thought I was bad these last few months. Dude, seriously, repeat after me. "Why do we fall off the horse? So that we can learn to pick ourselves back up again." You're still looking at life through the rose-colored glasses that you wore while you were with this girl, and it seems like she took them off a long time ago.
So whats a guy to do? Smash those glasses, grab some friends, and go have some fun. I'm not saying to start looking for a new relationship right away, because during the recovery step, that is actually a bad idea and will cause further pain. Life occured before her, and life will still occur after her. Go out in the world and just relax, forget about her, because she obviously forgot about you a long time ago.
And just in case you are confused, no, this won't help you "win" her back, but it will help you avoid a self-inflicted bullet in the brainpan. | |
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| Still love her!
Posted: 10/7/2009 1:05:35 AM | | if you dont let go,how can you find your match?, just stay open it will come to you and dont resort on dating for the sake of dating its nice to be alone sometimes ,tell yourself that you can face this alone without a replacement, you have to be strong ,you need to learn to bear the situation .goodluck | |
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| Still love her!
Posted: 10/7/2009 8:45:40 AM | scott...
the one thing you have to try is really not get invoulved with her.
the other stuff, like keeping yourself busy etc. well don't do it when you don't feel like it.
I know from experience, that even if she would come back, yes "even" it would fall apart again... like it usually does..
I been there so many times.. exes coming back after a while.. and why? sex.
and ego stroke..
not because she misses you nessc.
it is hard as hell.. Im going through it right now.. been up and down emotionally.
I found that keeping true to yourself is really what helps dealing with saying goodbye.
like said, you can go take up a million hobbies and try to look for something, anything that distracts..
I personally had more benefit in going through it.. f*ck it, crying nights and nights..
but there will come a day, you realize that it has to come from 2 sides, dont sell yourself short. | |
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| Still love her!
Posted: 10/7/2009 9:50:51 AM | Thanks everyone...im gonna stop acting like a **** and just accept it...iam broken hearted and it feels like shit, real shit... I have been very low and unhappy for month...and its affected my personality big time people have noticed jusy going to havr to try the best I can and have no contact and block her out of my life...
I know it will be hard but I havent got the mental or emotional energy anymore to put up with this!!
If she contacts me I will reply but im not chasing any longer...its up to her now!!
Thanks guys and gals!!
xxx  | |
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| Still love her!
Posted: 10/7/2009 10:26:47 PM | | Yeah I tried that texting,bartering,begging,My girl still bangin' a little punk ass dude. I even asked her to marry me haha! Dang that was dumb. Ignore her ! | |
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| Still love her!
Posted: 10/8/2009 4:51:47 AM | | my ex was what they call a cougar . she was 10 years older then me . I was so mad when she dumped me . I called not return my calls . I let HER call me . after guy #1 dumped her and guy #2 did same . guy #2 wanted her for sex . she told him to get #$%^&)(* so , she called me to see IF , I was seeing anyone . I told her no . after I was with 4 woman . my ex and I became freinds . NOW , we are better NOW, then dating . I go to rummage sales at first she didn't like it . BUT , when I told ehr " its the same stuff as goodwill gets and sells . " THEN , she gave it a try . by starting in august . it was alittle late . NOW , next year in april she wants to go . her scubs were $14 at goodwill . I found them for $2 . give your ex time . IF , they want you they will come back and things can be good . | |
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| Still love her!
Posted: 10/8/2009 3:38:46 PM | | be patient ....i'm things will work out for you ....just let her know you care ....good luck | |
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| Still love her!
Posted: 10/8/2009 3:56:51 PM | If she contacts me I will reply but im not chasing any longer...its up to her now!!
i don't want to tell you how to live your life, but no, it's not up to her. it's up to you. do not take her back. she will only do this to you again.
trust me, i miss my ex more than anything, and frankly, i really wish i could take her back if she ever wanted me back. but the hurt she caused me won't let me do it. if anyone can literally take such a great thing, and throw it away without even attempting to fight for it/us, it wasn't "real" and they are NOT "the one". | |
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| Still love her!
Posted: 10/9/2009 12:43:55 PM | | scott i do feel for you bud. ive just broken up with my soul mate.. im hurting like mad and the first week was drinking and drinking and just twisting my mind in half. but you are a young good looking fella and trust me on this. you will find love again it will happen when you least exspect it so dont hang to somebody that does not appreacite you... in the near future you will look back on this episde in your life and remember to keep looking forward!! ive seen you have had some bloody good advice from people on this forum ! so listen to what they say fella as they know what they are talking about. and i wish you all the best scott. | |
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| Still love her!
Posted: 10/10/2009 8:44:09 PM | Scott,
You are getting good advise, been there, done that. No contact period. As each day goes by it does get easier. o to the gym, buy new clothes, work on yourself, but don't contact her. Start shopping for another. Right now she is a priority to you, but you are an option to her. LOL  | |
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| Still love her!
Posted: 10/11/2009 7:13:11 AM | At the end of the day I still want her back and i am still thinking of her everyday...we are still in contact we didnt have a bad break up at all....I let her be for a while then started meeting up again...I asked her in a text last week if she wanted to come out with me for a meal for my birthday next week and she said she would do....so I hope she does do!
We do still have the odd txt throughout the week and talk and she asks how iam...I always show I care which I do so much....
Its just I seem to be doing most of the initiating and making all the contact....I do send her messages like - hey hows you, hope your doing ok thinking of you...x...its nit as if I contact her every single day!! | |
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| Still love her!
Posted: 10/11/2009 10:08:51 AM | | Scott I understand man I really do. But the thing is your still enableing her and giving her all the power. By constantly texting her you let her know that you still care and want to be with her. She knows she has you and if things get tough she can go running back to you as that support piller. Your already doing that kinda by giving her money. You need to step away from all of this for awhile not for her but for you. Make it a point to not text her for one whole day and if you do go out and reward yourself with something small. Keep doing this until you reach a week. Now you probably did do everything right and were a pretty good boyfriend. But im not trying to be mean you made yourself into a welcome mat. You did everything for her and doted on her. True women do want to feel like a queen. But the relationship becomes completely boreing if you give into them every time. You say you like to play soccer. Well keep doing that and if its starting to become boreing try something new. Go to a batting cage. If you want a textbook on what not to do read through some of my posts. I could write a book on what not to do trying to get a relationship back. For now no contact with her is the way to go. Trust me I know its hard I have been in your shoes. | |
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| Still love her!
Posted: 10/11/2009 12:09:45 PM | By the time your "loving ex-girlfriend" thinks, "I wonder how he's doing?", you will have succesfully moved on.
THIS IS THE WAY IT HAS ALWAYS WORKED AND IT WILL ALWAYS WORK THIS WAY!
I am 56 years old, have had boyfriends and all kinds of breakups, and I 100%
agree with the above statement.
What you do is focus on going out and finding a replacement, as hard and impossible to understand as that seems to you at this time. You go out with buddies or by yourself where some girls are and pick up one or two. Or you force yourself to keep meeting ones from here, or whatever you have to do to meet new ladies. You get your mind on someone new, or a couple of new girls, and before you know what hit you, you are way past this period of pain and heartbreak.
It will happen without you forcing it to if you can just hang around some girls.
You have no other choice. You can't buy her love, and she is done with you.
You are just making it worse by continuing to talk to her. She could be just hanging around out of pity, or because you give her rent money. The pain will continue until you end all contact. Give yourself some time to step away from her and breath.
And she will possibly like you more if you stop all the contact.
Although it sounds like it is over and you are dragging it out and making yourself miserable over it. | |
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| Still love her!
Posted: 10/11/2009 9:41:54 PM | Hey Scott, the first step is letting it go accept the fact that it's over. . It's over..make a clean break..No Contact..don't try to be friends with her..if you choice to keep in touch YOU only prolong the process and make it harder on yourself..It's okay to grieve dealing with painful emotions that go along with the break up..Let it go..Focus on Yourself..You are going through a tough time right now take extra care in being easy on Yourself..now is the perfect opportunity to begin a journey into self discovery..getting Your self esteem back on track is essential in progressing toward a better future.. Move On so YOU can live the life you deserve..The end is just the beginning..It is your chance to begin a jouney to discover WHO You are, to understand that YOU deserve more and to learn what You truly want out of life.. The reality is, for what ever reason your relationship is over...But, that doesn't mean Your life is over..You may not like it, but the truth is..YOU have a choice YOU can continue to make your life miserable by holding on to something that does NOT exist anymore...(Only in your hopes and dreams)...Choose to take a charge of Your life and go after what you want..Find the courage to pull Yourself up and not let this destroy You.. Scott You deserve every happiness and love You've always wanted and You can still have it, it will just be with someone new.
Lea in west tn | |
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