| freinds with the ex
Posted: 10/18/2009 11:09:18 AM | Meh, it all depends on the circumstances like what kind of relationship it was and how messy twas the break-up.
I have some ex's that I would consider a good friend. There are others that I personally don't care if I ever see again and some who are more acquaintances than anything else. Either way, not every failed relationship will end in friendship, in fact most wont. | |
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| freinds with the ex
Posted: 10/18/2009 2:33:38 PM |
They still possess the characteristics I liked so I value that part of them and now that I know the bad parts, and they know the bad parts of me, I hope for mutual acceptance. Occasional chats, or curiosity about how they are doing, seems normal to me since at one time they meant so much to me.
Bingo! Head of nail meet hammer.
I've never understood how people can just stop caring about each other all of a sudden. To do so would seem to imply that they never really cared to begin with.
I ended my relationship with my ex-girlfriend on friendly terms. When we first met, we were both very wounded creatures and we both found a certain amount of solace in each other. We had plenty of things in common and actually had a really good relationship for a while. But we also had some irreconcilable differences at the spiritual/religious level. With her being a Pagan and me being a Christian, it eventually became clear to me that we would not be able to grow together spiritually. Looking back on it now, I think her and I would both agree that we sort of rushed into the relationship without putting much thought into the longterm effects of our spiritual differences. Well...we live and we learn.
Breaking up is always a painful thing to do. That's why it's important to try to minimize the pain by being compassionate and respectful instead of being a jerk about it. Her previous Ex's did everything under the sun to hurt and betray her in ways that were completely cruel and detestable. She is a good hearted woman and she deserves better than to be treated in such a terrible way. Therefore, when I chose to end the relationship, I made every effort to do so in way that was compassionate and respectful. And I was glad to know that she didn't hate me for my decision. The break up was painful for both of us. But we handled it like the mature adults that we are. And I think we both agree that in the long run, it's for the better.
So now we are friends. We talk on a regular basis and sometimes we even hang out. We have mutual respect and we wish the very best for each other. That's because the bond that we formed was and still is real. We still care about each other, we just don't have the intimate/sexual/ romantic connection anymore.
The day will come when I will find the one who I will spend the rest of my life with. That day will come for my ex-girlfriend as well. Until then, there is no reason in the world why we shouldn't stay in contact and be good friends for each other. For that matter, even after we have both gone on to our respective destinations in life, we will probably still check in on each other from time to time just to see how things are going. There is certainly nothing wrong with that. | |
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| freinds with the ex
Posted: 10/24/2009 1:48:37 PM | | I tried the whole "let's be friends" thing for a year but it just did not work. He got mad at me when I decided in June this year to just try to move on. In September I guess I missed him. I went to see him where he lived and he was very angry at me. So I haven't spoken to him for about a month. The "let's be friends" thing is hard because at the back my mind anyway I was constantly wondering "what is he doing". So in June I just had to be honest I really "can't" be friends with him. And in the end it is for the best even though I knew this guy for seven years he's gone. I am trying to meet new people as well. | |
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| freinds with the ex
Posted: 10/24/2009 2:46:48 PM | OMG them fighting words...friends-ex's I need a drink  | |
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| freinds with the ex
Posted: 10/24/2009 6:59:23 PM | | My gawd....have at er fella....why are you posting here if all is well talk it up have a hug in for all we care ( where is that pukey emote?) mods I need an emote with knitting needles and my ear drum.....holy crap spare me and shoot me now. | |
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| freinds with the ex
Posted: 10/24/2009 9:47:10 PM |
I am trying to meet people on this site local to me to help me get over him
Paperwork has come back from the lawyer for us to sign yet. He's out there dating like I don't even exist. Very hurtful, believe me
Why do you want to trade a headache for a stomachache
Most people wait 6 to 12 months until they get involved with someone else.
You need some healing time and not another man. JMHO | |
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| freinds with the ex
Posted: 10/24/2009 10:30:44 PM | | I agree with your opinion.....An EX should be a chapter in your life.....you close that chapter and you start a new one. And it doesn't feel good to have en ex interfering and knowing personal things about the new person. Some say we are better friends now that we are divorced.....maybe there shouldn't have been a marriage just a friendship in the first place. | |
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| freinds with the ex
Posted: 11/16/2009 5:52:45 PM | | Well my coping process with a break-up is to pretty much pretend like the ex is dead, and I think being friends with them would interfere with the coping process, as they would not rot or eat brains as a zombie should. | |
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pdlop
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Joined: 10/9/2009
Msg: 34 | |
| freinds with the ex
Posted: 11/16/2009 6:39:49 PM | | well good for you. Do you want a merit badge or something? | |
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| freinds with the ex
Posted: 11/17/2009 12:27:37 PM | i dont believe in been friends with ex thing. 7 out of 10 people end up sleeping with their ex's . trust me. especially if the break up was not a nasty one.thats why i keep things with my ex strictly business about the kids. nothing more nothing else.
if you want to figure the truth out, just go down memory lane, think about all your ex's there should be one in there that you will like to sleep with again when you get the chance.thats why its aways good to cut ties with them. especially when you in a new relationship. | |
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| freinds with the ex
Posted: 11/17/2009 5:21:51 PM | | well it is about time you learned to work things out... what confuses me though is how come you did not do this when you were together...you know like when ir really mattered! | |
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