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 Author Thread: What Is She Trying To Suggest - Pursued By Other Men
 Notsocharmed

Joined: 5/25/2009
Msg: 25
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What Is She Trying To Suggest - Pursued By Other Men
Posted: 10/8/2009 6:30:55 PM
Perhaps she is being honest with the idea she wants YOU to be as well.

I talk about things in general, not detail because I like to be as clear as can be that there is no way I will just see one person at a time. It envokes attachment which I can't really afford.

But I am with people who are open and honest in kind. I don't bother with men who have no interest in being upfront as well. (no offense OP, your choice is valid... perhaps trying to pick someone who is more suitable for you... and don't tell me that you didn't know this about her before meeting, most people show their true colors long before the face to face)
 bump4bump

Joined: 12/3/2008
Msg: 26
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What Is She Trying To Suggest - Pursued By Other Men
Posted: 10/8/2009 6:44:05 PM
don't tell me that you didn't know this about her before meeting, most people show their true colors long before the face to face


I was quite clueless until it came up. I try to avoid drama or "gutter" if possible - useless wastes of good energy.
 REDDRAGON.

Joined: 10/9/2008
Msg: 27
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What Is She Trying To Suggest - Pursued By Other Men
Posted: 10/8/2009 8:17:17 PM

I had met someone online - after our first time out she insisted on wanting to tell me about other men pursuing her both online and in her personal life. My position was I'm not interested in knowing - it's not my business nor do I want it to be. I realize there is some underlying purpose for wanting to share this, any thoughts?



such behaviour by a woman reeks of desperation

let her revel in her time obviously she's trying to portray like she is important.
 girlwPriOriTies

Joined: 9/30/2009
Msg: 28
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What Is She Trying To Suggest - Pursued By Other Men
Posted: 10/8/2009 9:35:11 PM
hmmm i had a similar experience, only he went into specifics. He would describe how he went to the grocery store and bumped into a woman that went to his h.s. He was telling me how he had this huge crush on her, and now she was married. He even said that he told her she looked as beautiful as always and she said he looked good. Also, he ended up buying her bananas for her. I'm pretty sure he was trying to get a reaction out of me, so I thought about it, and reacted rationaly. I am no longer pursuing this man.
 13karat

Joined: 3/7/2009
Msg: 29
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What Is She Trying To Suggest - Pursued By Other Men
Posted: 10/9/2009 6:57:56 AM
I am really quite surprised by how many posters truly think she is playing some kind of ego game on this one. I tend to agree with Landra - she is just being open about the fact that she is not an "exclusive type" dater.... she dates multiple people until such time as both parties agree that it is exclusive. As several posts indicate, there are a lot of people that are not like that.... and that is what works for them.... but it obviously doesn't for her.... and she is letting the OP know that. It seems pretty basic to me... not hidden agendas, no ulterior motives...... just plain honesty...... is that such a novel concept these days?
 WindRoper

Joined: 7/24/2007
Msg: 30
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What Is She Trying To Suggest - Pursued By Other Men
Posted: 10/9/2009 7:02:09 AM
She's inconsiderate, rude and conceited.
 ellena.

Joined: 3/20/2009
Msg: 31
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What Is She Trying To Suggest - Pursued By Other Men
Posted: 10/9/2009 7:05:06 AM
Why are men so dumb? Your cute
 **~renegadeoutlaw~**

Joined: 4/23/2006
Msg: 32
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What Is She Trying To Suggest - Pursued By Other Men
Posted: 10/9/2009 7:12:23 AM
She is either extremely insecure, trying to give you a sense that you are in competition with the other men she is dating, and/or make you jealous. Or she is trying to bring across the message in not so many words that she isn't waiting by the phone for you to contact her.

OR another possibility is she was trying to communicate to you that she isn't interested in having a monagamous/serious relationship with you or anyone else and just wants to play the field............We women hear that A LOT from men - and maybe she is trying to play a man's game thinking she can win.

She also sounds like someone who gets bored easily and is always looking for the exit sign for something she perceives as better.

It doesn't matter what her motive is, it's nothing but childish high school games and we aren't children anymore. So basically, she needs to grow up.

Whenever I run into that crap with the men I meet online or in person, I just walk away. I don't need that shit. If I am going to meet up with someone, I certainly will NEVER talk about other people I am communicating with out here in the dating pond.

It's shit like that, that makes it so hard out here in the dating world! Online OR offline.
 WindRoper

Joined: 7/24/2007
Msg: 33
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What Is She Trying To Suggest - Pursued By Other Men
Posted: 10/9/2009 7:20:19 AM

I am really quite surprised by how many posters truly think she is playing some kind of ego game on this one. I tend to agree with Landra - she is just being open about the fact that she is not an "exclusive type" dater.... she dates multiple people until such time as both parties agree that it is exclusive. As several posts indicate, there are a lot of people that are not like that.... and that is what works for them.... but it obviously doesn't for her.... and she is letting the OP know that. It seems pretty basic to me... not hidden agendas, no ulterior motives...... just plain honesty...... is that such a novel concept these days?


As a person who believes in and has done the non-exclusive, dating multiples thing, I disagree. She IS playing head games. If the above was what she intended to say and she was an honest, forthright person, then the above is what she would have said. But she didn't. She wasn't speaking in code. She was bragging, possibly even lying, and disrespecting the man she was with at the moment.
 Sabrosura

Joined: 1/7/2009
Msg: 34
What Is She Trying To Suggest - Pursued By Other Men
Posted: 10/9/2009 7:24:15 AM

I had met someone online - after our first time out she insisted on wanting to tell me about other men pursuing her both online and in her personal life. My position was I'm not interested in knowing - it's not my business nor do I want it to be. I realize there is some underlying purpose for wanting to share this, any thoughts?


Maybe she felt the need to "toot her own horn" - soooo desired by many men.

That would be a turn-off for me in a heartbeat!
 WasabiGal

Joined: 8/10/2009
Msg: 35
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What Is She Trying To Suggest - Pursued By Other Men
Posted: 10/9/2009 8:35:08 AM

She IS playing head games. If the above was what she intended to say and she was an honest, forthright person, then the above is what she would have said. But she didn't. She wasn't speaking in code. She was bragging, possibly even lying, and disrespecting the man she was with at the moment.


yup. nothing good about her communication skills....she might have been so nervous that she wasn't able to put a filter on her mouth....but telling you that she has so many men after her, both off and online...is just rude. And boring. Really boring.
 E_keys

Joined: 10/3/2009
Msg: 36
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What Is She Trying To Suggest - Pursued By Other Men
Posted: 10/9/2009 4:18:55 PM
At the best and most charitable, she sounds clueless - the other men (real or not) were on her mind, and she didn't care what OP would have been interested in talking about. I know that when I was interacting with "dates" right after my marriage ended, I stupidly said stuff about my former life that had nothing to do with getting to know the date. "Wasn't able to put a filter on her mouth" would have described me perfectly. If your head's not with your date, but you can at least fake it, at least you'll get a second chance to see him when you've got a hold on your head!

I figure OP wants to talk to someone with maturity and aims quite a bit more in line with his. I mean, one can let it drop that one's dating various people without behaving as though the current date would care about it! So, no need to defend her. She might be ready to be real later, but OP won't be likely to be waiting.
 Chitownguy40

Joined: 9/29/2009
Msg: 37
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What Is She Trying To Suggest - Pursued By Other Men
Posted: 10/9/2009 5:41:33 PM
She could be trying to rattle your sense of security in hopes you'll pursue her harder. Or she juts may be clueless. Neither one is very encouraging.
 jen31465

Joined: 7/5/2008
Msg: 38
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What Is She Trying To Suggest - Pursued By Other Men
Posted: 10/9/2009 6:34:38 PM
Honestly, its TMI and not very classy....
 **~renegadeoutlaw~**

Joined: 4/23/2006
Msg: 39
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What Is She Trying To Suggest - Pursued By Other Men
Posted: 10/10/2009 6:00:09 PM
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

You said it Jen !

 soatlanta

Joined: 9/11/2009
Msg: 40
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What Is She Trying To Suggest - Pursued By Other Men
Posted: 10/10/2009 6:13:50 PM
This would show a lack of social skills and maturity..can you imagine what she says to people she knows!! much less saying something private like that to someone she barely knows!! yuck, cut your loss quick.
 GQSunset

Joined: 2/28/2009
Msg: 41
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What Is She Trying To Suggest - Pursued By Other Men
Posted: 10/10/2009 6:33:42 PM
You can wait for your turn on the ride

Or dump her and find another roller coaster.
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