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Joined: 9/27/2009
Msg: 51 | |
| Happy to be out of a bad relationship.
Posted: 10/23/2009 6:13:35 AM | Thanks to everyone. Especially the kind adults who recognize another's momentary need for some reinforcement. To those attempting to shred another person, I'm sorry you've been hurt.
Dont feel sorry for them . They are "Forum Jackals " Trolling around delivering their special brand of sunshine and insight and they usually travel in packs .
I was in a relationship like that off and on for ten monthes and got out of it and its freeing , refreshing etc etc and it is nice to get your sanity back and sense of self. She slandered me to my employeer , her freinds family during our relationship , was mentally and emotionally abusive . I could write a page about the shit she put me through. We broke up about 4 times in that period . She was ****ing draining . A real drama queen .
You cant be faulted for wanting to love another woman , you cant be faulted for accepting some one for who they are so dont ever beat yourself up for being with her and dealing with the abuse . Crazy it seems you were tying to get things right , realized you couldnt and left . If anything it demonstrates your faithful just realize there are people who deserve that faithfullness and those that dont . Learn to choose who is .Experiance as you know is the best education
Just recognize these types are vampires and stay the hell away from them . NO CONTACT . Change your number email address everything .
Emotions are ther playing field and men are easiliy manipulated emotionally so you gota stay clear of her altogether
And dont feel bad about the boy. You didnt leave him like these ****ing jackals are accusing you of . That crazy **** drove you away . This was a two way street and you got out to save your sanity and emotional stability . You had to . Had you stayed two ****ed up people in his life ( which you eventually would of became had you stayed ) are much worse for a child than one . | |
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| Happy to be out of a bad relationship.
Posted: 10/23/2009 7:21:26 AM | It was liberating to finally extricate myself from an LTR.
After 5 years of freedom and meeting countless guys I started to notice I was attracting the same type of men, over and over again.
I worked through this problem with the last man I met.
It boiled down to looking inward and clearing some unresolved issues. There was PTSD.
Now, that I have dealt with the issues and feel healthier along with higher self esteem, I hope I attract a partner on the same journey.
I am ready to date. | |
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| Happy to be out of a bad relationship.
Posted: 10/23/2009 1:53:51 PM | OP, I totally understand where you come from.
Read all the harsh comments from the females here. Then you realize how true the cliche is "nice guy finish last". You need to be an ***hole sometimes. There are terrible human being out there. Don't be a victim. Though they have soft breast and warm p-u-s-s-y, they are more dangerous.
"They who can give up self respect to obtain a little temporary love, deserve neither respect nor love. "
The road to recovery is to accept your own failure in this abusive relationship. Your ex was a terrible human being. That's the way she is. There is no point to blame a wolf stealing lamb. She was who she was and did what she could to use you. You can scream blood murder all you want. The wolf got to eat. | |
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| Happy to be out of a bad relationship.
Posted: 10/23/2009 2:34:20 PM | Rod I want to thank you for your service to your country. You are a giver who gave far too much to that woman.
I used to take care of her emotional needs, her home cleaning, laundry,
You went overboard in many respects. It sounds like you may have the 'nice guy" syndrome. People who like you for all of things you do for them, do not love you.
Learn from this experience, make reasonable boundaries, and move on. | |
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| Happy to be out of a bad relationship.
Posted: 10/24/2009 10:45:23 AM | I have to agree with a lot of what repair-guy had to say besides the part about the child, which I will get to later. Being someone who used to be a pathological enabler or having a co-dependent personality, I would find myself dating many different types of women but only getting in relationships with women who I felt “needed” me more than others. In each case the women ended up suffering from some behavioral condition like BPD, NPD, and Depression (previously diagnosed by professional). I thought that I could “fix” all of their problems and I got a sense of accomplishment that I mistook for happiness when they would appear to be happy when I would do something for them. I dealt with emotional and physical abuse from these women but that just fed into my desire to be with “damaged and broken” women and try and fix them. I didn’t actually see the real issues in the relationship because I was too busy being caught up in my own need to please them without really addressing the actual issues. In each case, as time went on their appreciation waned as the giving became common place and just an aspect of our everyday lives. I eventually would become resentful that I was doing so much and getting little in return I would leave the relationship. The problem is people who suffer from these conditions require an endless supply of attention and it gets to a point where there is nothing left to give.
Based on your post I am guessing you experienced the same thing.
I am not saying you suffer from the same condition that I did but your views and actions mirror what mine used to be like.
I realized after my last unsuccessful relationship that I was putting all of the blame on these women for the failed relationship, but after you have similar issues from one to the next it made me start to look at myself as part of the problem. I realized that I needed to just take a break and figure out who I was and what really makes me happy, this has worked wonders for me so hopefully you can do the same.
As far as the situation with the child, it’s inevitably the responsibility of the mother to look out for the well being of her child. If she knows that she has mental and personality disorders that make it difficult for her to have successful long term relationships then she needs to consider this when dating and allowing men to develop relationships with her child. Many people have knocked the OP for staying in a dysfunctional relationship with someone with known mental issues but the mother basically did the same thing. | |
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| Happy to be out of a bad relationship.
Posted: 10/24/2009 11:02:53 AM | Congrats, now focus on being a great person for yourself, and weed out the bad reminders, there will be people who remind you of her and you will attract them, just dont fall into it EVER again. Bad habits are hard to break, but you will be much better without em. Good luck, fish after you got it all out of your system.  | |
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| Happy to be out of a bad relationship.
Posted: 10/24/2009 7:20:43 PM | Good for U!
Now be careful and don't let that happen again.
It is better to be single and happy rather than not-single and abused.
There is nothing to drink be sad about | |
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| Happy to be out of a bad relationship.
Posted: 10/24/2009 7:26:21 PM | | And is also refreshing when u get off a mini bad relationship too, since I don't allow them going to far on abuse or lowering my self-esteem | |
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| Happy to be out of a bad relationship.
Posted: 10/24/2009 9:11:40 PM | Dang, seems like a man like you is a rare find. Trouble is alot of women are cared for, showered with gifts and such who really don't appreciate it.
A man who would accept her child is a rare find, like my sister's new husband--who adopted her 2 children.
God Bless (OOPS sorry politically correct police) | |
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