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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > divorce verses affair...isnt it about time we accepted affairs..      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 CompletelyDone
Joined: 8/12/2007
Msg: 51
divorce verses affair...isnt it about time we accepted affairs..Page 3 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
Silken Fire, I didn't say nothing should be sacred--where did you get that? As far as religious faith being a source of moral behavior, bullfeathers.

I assume you watch the news occasionally. Isn't plain as day that the most vicious, most most callous, the most depraved acts are often committed by people precisely because they think they have God's permission? When was the last time an atheist flew a plane into a building? When as the last time an agnostic bombed a clinic or gunned down a doctor? No. When the police interview a woman who, say, drawns all five of her kids in the bathtub, what do they discover? She thinks God told her to do it.


Sir... there is a rather substantial difference between "spiritual" and "religious". I suggest you look it up. It isn't our higher power that creates the wars and depraved acts of which you speak.

I have no use for religion either but that doesn't stop me from believing that I have a spirit that needs to be valued and carefully crafted into something beautiful and strong. On the other hand, if you want to believe that you have no purpose here on earth other than to serve your physical needs, be my guest.

 barbee1970
Joined: 12/29/2008
Msg: 52
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divorce verses affair...isnt it about time we accepted affairs..
Posted: 10/11/2009 3:56:00 PM
Accept affairs? This person REALLY has no morals. Seems morals are a thing of the past anymore.

Marriage is a commitment. If people want to screw around don't get married in the first place. What happens if an affair ends up with pregnancy? Sure do you want to raise someone else's baby who is the product of an affair? The child suffers.

Let's not forget AIDS will really run rampant.
 SueCat51
Joined: 8/11/2007
Msg: 53
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divorce verses affair...isnt it about time we accepted affairs..
Posted: 10/11/2009 4:24:58 PM
Why would I want to accept an affair? Look, if a guy is going to cheat on me, why would I stomach being able to trust him in other issues? It'd be a snowball chance in hell before I would "accept" an affair. I have zero tolerance for liars, cheats, and thieves. It doesn't matter if it's a marriage, engagement, or exclusive dating relationship.
 Wiyan
Joined: 12/8/2008
Msg: 54
divorce verses affair...isnt it about time we accepted affairs..
Posted: 10/11/2009 7:26:38 PM
Hey Jakeo-its as much a problem in other racial groups as well-you stand alone w/ your whitebred theory!
 Gem With Flaws
Joined: 9/28/2009
Msg: 55
divorce verses affair...isnt it about time we accepted affairs..
Posted: 10/11/2009 7:55:21 PM
It may make sense, but it doesn't mean everyone is accepting.

Not that it matters what anyone else thinks.

A couple's business is their own. All to often, 'open marriages' are not accepted by both, therefore clear rules can't be established.

Where two grown ups exist in the 'open marriage' it could work a treat. But that takes a lot of working on, and for both to feel comfortable and secure with the direction.

The greatest opposition is faced when 'open marriage' is being considered as a means to heal a rift within an otherwise 'monogamous marriage' .... In these cases it is best to heal the rift, be free of that clutter, then to decide on a direction, once emotions and reactions subside.

That's just my take on it, and my 5 cents worth.
 Shamefullpride
Joined: 4/23/2009
Msg: 56
divorce verses affair...isnt it about time we accepted affairs..
Posted: 10/11/2009 8:04:40 PM

agnostic bombed a clinic or gunned down a doctor?


Maybe the UNIBOMBER? How about Oklahoma City?
The George Bush presidency!

What religious excuses did any of them have for what they have done to the world?

NONE! All just free thinking asshats!
 WasabiGal
Joined: 8/10/2009
Msg: 57
divorce verses affair...isnt it about time we accepted affairs..
Posted: 10/11/2009 8:27:58 PM

Affairs have a long tradition in the history of marriage.


oh please. Slavery has had a even longer tradition. Gimme me a break.

This is a bit of troll post, as the poster, like so many before him, thinks that he can actually change the thinking of POFers. He is a married man looking for a sex partner, and is probably having some trouble finding partners here. hence the foolish post (try a different website..like ashleymadison; or pay for a prostitute)

some couples agree to having an open relationship, they negotiate the terms... the problem with affairs is that one half of the couple has not agreed to it....and the deceit is rampant

Cheaters will lie when confronted....that is the pattern. The spouse will ask...the spouse will have his/her suspicions, but most cheaters will lie...and will begin to accuse the spouse. You have issues, you are insecure, you're crazy, you're the one that must be having the affair....

it is this horrible horrible dishonesty that destroys the relationship... Many spouses have said that they might have been able to deal with the sex, but the lying, and the DENIAL was too much to forgive
 Chitownguy40
Joined: 9/29/2009
Msg: 58
divorce verses affair...isnt it about time we accepted affairs..
Posted: 10/11/2009 8:56:48 PM
Silkenfire, I took your advice and looked it up. The definition of spirituality is "religion for flakey people."

Just kidding.

But stop putting words in my mouth! Now you're saying I am just here for bodily gratification. I said no such thing. You need to imporve your reading comprehension and, I suspect, listening skills.
 CompletelyDone
Joined: 8/12/2007
Msg: 59
divorce verses affair...isnt it about time we accepted affairs..
Posted: 10/11/2009 9:35:37 PM
Silkenfire, I took your advice and looked it up. The definition of spirituality is "religion for flakey people."

Just kidding.

But stop putting words in my mouth! Now you're saying I am just here for bodily gratification. I said no such thing. You need to imporve your reading comprehension and, I suspect, listening skills.


I said, "On the other hand, if you want to believe that you have no purpose here on earth other than to serve your physical needs, be my guest." The "if" in that sentence leaves it open to whether or not that is your focus in life. It doesn't put "words" in anyone's mouth.

I think you might want to take a few glances over your own need for "imporvement" there Sport...


Maybe the UNIBOMBER? How about Oklahoma City?
The George Bush presidency!

What religious excuses did any of them have for what they have done to the world?

NONE! All just free thinking asshats!


Good point Rockman!!!

 monalee1
Joined: 10/22/2007
Msg: 60
divorce verses affair...isnt it about time we accepted affairs..
Posted: 10/11/2009 9:56:09 PM
hi... a lot of people have accepted affairs but for some people there will never be a right time to accept adultery... blessings for balance
 partyyeah
Joined: 6/15/2007
Msg: 61
divorce verses affair...isnt it about time we accepted affairs..
Posted: 10/12/2009 1:25:53 AM
Ladies n Gents we are all adults and at the end of the day we do what we do because we either need it or want it.Affairs , infidelities or plain flings are what gets the heart racing.It's not for every one, however one should never judge another human being when it comes to affairs of the heart , it's between 2 people.I had an affair and have never told my wife , but I gotta tell you it was the best thing ever, for me and my partner.we were both married and then when it was all over we went on our merry way , no one got hurt and if anything I was coming home with a voracious appetite.I dont see the need for proffessional ladies as its just not my scene,for any one out there saying I should spend the night with a prostitute.Oh and another point never say never as one day the Affair fairy may come a knocking and sprinkle some "Get it on dust" and you will succumb LOL then again you may not.............Have an open mind is all I am saying, and ladies n gents for those who don't approve that quite OK as well, as I said we are all adults cpapble of free thinking

I shall step down from my soap box now and let someone else pick up where I left off, no doubt I shall be shot down in flames soon enough
 wolftxus
Joined: 2/24/2009
Msg: 62
divorce verses affair...isnt it about time we accepted affairs..
Posted: 10/12/2009 4:47:18 AM
"it's between 2 people."
An affair involves three. And don't be so sure your SO doesn't know...
 dysfunction_junction
Joined: 7/17/2008
Msg: 63
divorce verses affair...isnt it about time we accepted affairs..
Posted: 10/12/2009 5:03:34 AM
i see your POV but i don't agree with it. typical euro-trash attitude. you're no better than the so-called royal family. what bunch of hypocritical, entitled inbreds. yeah man we need more people like that and their b@stard spawn.
 nipoleon
Joined: 12/27/2005
Msg: 64
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divorce verses affair...isnt it about time we accepted affairs..
Posted: 10/12/2009 5:09:15 AM
If 2 people get married just for the sex, then sexual fidelity is going to be of extreme importance.
Which flies in the face of how unimportant sex is supposed to be ?

Isn't marriage supposed to be all about the commitment of partnership and joining of 2 souls in immortal bliss ?
Almost everyone claims that sex is only a small part of the whole relationship.

Yet the slightest roving eye sends people into a frenzy of panicked jealousy. It seems too many people get married for the purpose of exclusive sex. Sex is really what the marriage was all about to begin with.

If sexual commitment is really that important then write it into the marriage vows.
" To have and to hold, for richer and poorer, and screw only you, till death do us part ".
 jakeo_germany
Joined: 6/17/2006
Msg: 65
divorce verses affair...isnt it about time we accepted affairs..
Posted: 10/12/2009 5:22:32 AM
wasabigal: let's be grown-ups.

All I am saying is that people across time and cultures have affairs. For many people and in many places affairs are not the earth-shattering marital apocalypse. Having spent most of my adult life in foreign lands (including rural Louisiana), I am often humored when a relationship rule is declared universal and very important, but I see that its really only that way for a certain small cultural group. Doesn't make the rule invalid, but I have fun pointing it out.

Anyway, the point about deception is well taken.
 wolftxus
Joined: 2/24/2009
Msg: 66
divorce verses affair...isnt it about time we accepted affairs..
Posted: 10/12/2009 5:23:03 AM
"then write it into the marriage vows."
Brilliant idea. And 'to forsake all others' actually means something along those lines...

And as for your 'importance of sex' reasoning, a house is so much more than its foundation. It has walls, doors, windows and a roof. Most people would not even think much about the foundation when talking about a house, but yank it away after the house is built or simply make it crack and shift severely, and you have a huge problem. Marriage is not primarily about not abusing your offspring (it does not say that in the vows), do you condone that as well? You sound like a lawyer. "No, your honor, the vows did not say anything about leaving his d!ck attached." - "Thank you, Mrs. Bobbitt."
 ~Hello~
Joined: 7/30/2008
Msg: 67
divorce verses affair...isnt it about time we accepted affairs..
Posted: 10/12/2009 5:29:56 AM


All I am saying is that people across time and cultures have affairs.


Just because SOME people have done Some nasty things throughout history does Not make it "ok"!! sheesh

If 'historical behaviour' is an EXCUSE to be immoral, then we have Not evolved as a species. Also - OP - People have committed Many crimes (I am not saying affairs are a "crime"!) .. however .. human beings Have committed Many crimes / socially Unacceptable behaviours throughout our history = Are you suggesting we now just "accept" thieves, murderers and politicians?? lol .. I think Not!

If you want to screw around - Stay Single.

**OT - IMO This is just another thread (weakly) attempting to justify Cheating.
 kthyg
Joined: 11/24/2006
Msg: 68
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divorce verses affair...isnt it about time we accepted affairs..
Posted: 10/12/2009 6:49:24 AM
You have to have some integrity in life. If you are cheating, you have no integrity. Now, if you have an open relationship, that is a different story as long as everyone is open and honest about it. If you are lying and sneaking around, then your spouse has every reason to divorce you and, no, it's not better for the kids to be raised in an environment where people are lying and deceiving.
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 69
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divorce verses affair...isnt it about time we accepted affairs..
Posted: 10/12/2009 12:09:28 PM

isnt it about time we accepted affairs..

No.
Cindy O
 SpanishSugarrrr
Joined: 3/16/2008
Msg: 70
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divorce verses affair...isnt it about time we accepted affairs..
Posted: 10/12/2009 1:12:13 PM
how selfish! don't bring children into this type of confusion

if you want to sleep with a bunch of people i have a great idea!

STAY SINGLE!
 Your D Can
Joined: 10/13/2009
Msg: 71
divorce verses affair...isnt it about time we accepted affairs..
Posted: 10/16/2009 10:47:53 PM
if you want to live a lieing and deceitful life go right ahead
what you put out there is what you get back
 StevieCashmere
Joined: 4/22/2009
Msg: 72
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divorce verses affair...isnt it about time we accepted affairs..
Posted: 10/17/2009 1:39:04 AM
Affairs are self-failures of respects for one-self & one's relationship
Acceptance devalues realtionships
~sc~
 Ruby Darling
Joined: 5/28/2009
Msg: 73
divorce verses affair...isnt it about time we accepted affairs..
Posted: 10/17/2009 2:03:31 AM
Yes, and change the name of the lodge to the Herpsinsons.
What if the root of the problem in the marriage is not sex. What if he nags too much, physically violent, etc? What do you advise then, sport? An affair with Mike Tyson to put the guy in his place?
 Thorrin
Joined: 10/13/2009
Msg: 74
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divorce verses affair...isnt it about time we accepted affairs..
Posted: 10/20/2009 10:45:47 PM
Try swinging and having some fun for a change in your relationship. In the end, you'll still go home with the one you got and you both know you just had some fun. This might just strengthen your relationship by bringing back that old feeling of adventure you once had when you two first started off. We all know we change over time. It's how you handle the changes that can make or break a relationship.
 seajaydee
Joined: 10/15/2007
Msg: 75
divorce verses affair...isnt it about time we accepted affairs..
Posted: 10/21/2009 4:43:56 AM
Wow, you appear to be a seriously selfish individual, and somewhat delusional to think that children in a family would be better off with parents cheating than going through a divorce. My choice of being single all my life; I saw a lot of my friends marry at a young age and be very unhappy. As it turns out they also came from families where the father was a cheater.

Go figure.
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