| Can a bad relationship trigger a change in Sexual Orientation?
Posted: 10/11/2009 3:08:00 PM | It depends on how you view things. If you think there is only gay or straight, no inbetweens, no mostly straight or mostly gays, then yes you are going to have to believe that bad relationships can switch a persons orientation. If you see sexuality as a range of possibilities, well then the whole question doesn't really matter lol.
One thing though, from a psychological perspective I have read that the one instance where doctors say a persons sexual orientation can be changed from what it was is in cases of chronic sexual abuse. In particular women who were sexually and physically abused as children and then as adults. I suppose yo could argue that the ones who do change may have had a Kinsey score that wasn't at one end of the scale, and again its something I read years ago. | |
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| Can a bad relationship trigger a change in Sexual Orientation?
Posted: 10/11/2009 3:12:49 PM | Hey there
Very interesting topic, I do not however believe that it is true. Sometimes I do joke around with my friends that i will turn "gay" or "become a priest" because I am having such a hard time finding a good woman. My friends are actually SHOCKED and cannot figure out why.
But again, I do strongly believe your friends are wrong about the "GAY GENE" triggering, either they are misinformed or they are just playing with you.
Have a nice and wonderful thanks giving weekend : ) | |
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| Can a bad relationship trigger a change in Sexual Orientation?
Posted: 10/11/2009 3:19:00 PM | No. Sexual orientation is built in. It may be built in in a confused fashion, a person might be bisexual, antisexual, hypersexual, or ignorant-of-their-own-sexual.
Someone who is bisexual might decide after a bad time with one sex, to stick to the other for a while, and could switch back again. Someone who is confused about their orientation can have a bad experience that convinces them that they are of the opposite sexuality that they first thought, and can then discover after experimenting the other way that they WERE right the first time, and that it was after all just a bad experience the first time.
Since there is a very strong biological component to sexual orientation, I would expect it is quite possible that sexual orientation MIGHT be affected by the same kind of extreme external experiences that can affect tendency to violence, tendency to depression, etc. I have not heard of any such occurrences, but I would not be surprised to.
In personal experience, I have known several women who started out believing they were lesbians, and then hooked up with men and stayed with them. Several who thought they were heterosexual, then after having unpleasant times with men, discovered that they were happier with women. I don't believe any of these constituted a SWITCH in sexuality, but rather a DISCOVERY of it by those involved. | |
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| Can a bad relationship trigger a change in Sexual Orientation?
Posted: 10/11/2009 3:40:24 PM | ive heard of stories where women had bad experiences with men and ended up with women cuz women were better in bed that was the only reason! some of the stories i heard that women were using that excuse so they can get the comfort from women. i also heard stories only liking women cuz they are pissed off at men.
theres nothin wrong if u like the same gender, but dont use ur bad experiences as an escape goat cuz u were treated wrong. i heard of a story where a woman turn lesbo cuz she needed female comfort cuz men did her wrong and she became even more miserable when women she dated treated her like crap just like the men. | |
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| Can a bad relationship trigger a change in Sexual Orientation?
Posted: 10/11/2009 4:45:09 PM | | Very few people are fully straight or gay - most fall in between. I can't remember exactly how the Kinsey scale is numbered or which end is which, but say it goes from 1-7, 1 being straight and 7 being gay. Most people, when answering questions honestly, would fall in the 2-6 range, and the more central you get, the more likely you are to kick over to the other side after a bad experience. It's not necessarily a permanent switch, either. As somebody else said, I'd consider it an... excising of options, I think it was. The more off-center you are on the scale, the more likely you are to identify yourself as gay or straight, but obviously somebody on the 7 end of the scale could identify themselves as straight purely out of denial, while another 7 would gladly tell everybody and their dog they were gay. Another example, I could put myself at a three and call myself bisexual, but another 3 (although admitting they find the same sex attractive) could firmly identify as straight. Anyway, the point is that people don't really "turn gay" - the underlying attraction is always there, it's just the choice to act on it that occurs. | |
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| Can a bad relationship trigger a change in Sexual Orientation?
Posted: 10/11/2009 4:50:43 PM | "whilist in Thailand"
I believe you/him. I asked a friend how to spot the transvestites in the Philippines. He said it's easy, they are the pretty ones. I adopted the news by changing my handshake when I met a woman... If I reached into a void, they were good. :-) | |
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| Can a bad relationship trigger a change in Sexual Orientation?
Posted: 10/11/2009 5:12:27 PM | Honey, I've gotten pretty PRETTY pretty frustrated with womankind before, but it has never driven me to consider banging dudes or getting banged.
Um, I think it might be the whole thing about guys having a penis, no vagina, not being pretty and being built weird and hairy and not being sweet and beautiful and sacred to me like a woman...
Women: Can't live with them, can't live without them! | |
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| Can a bad relationship trigger a change in Sexual Orientation?
Posted: 10/12/2009 8:08:54 AM | The answer is a definite NO!
That doesn't stop some lazy*ss psychologists or shrinks saying so though. You either are OR not. There is no middle ground. Its about time we accept some responsibility for our actions and choices and stop attributing them to some other causes. | |
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| Can a bad relationship trigger a change in Sexual Orientation?
Posted: 10/12/2009 9:48:40 AM |
Here is a very weird case I read about
Where? There is a lot of utter BS that is 'written' - either in paper form or on the Internet. That some moron has decided to write something down does not make it true. Even if that moron calls himself a 'doctor'.
Learn to use reliable sources only for your information; that means noted hospitals and organization, universities; in short, organizations with actual credibility and not those run by interest groups or flakes.
Nobody 'turns' gay - not genetically, not any other way. You're born with your sexual orientation someplace on the scale between exclusively hetero and exclusively homo. It's the minority who land in the 'absolute' sections of that scale. Someone who appears to have 'turned' gay has either denied it or simply not realized it before in his or her life - and won't admit to that. | |
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| Can a bad relationship trigger a change in Sexual Orientation?
Posted: 10/13/2009 5:32:23 AM | | kofi-68, actually there's lots of middle ground. Yes, most people--men and women--tend to be way on one side of the spectrum, whether gay or straight. But many are also more fluid in their sexual proclivities, and that's fine. Being attracted to members of the same sex, even if only occasionaly, is not something to be ashamed of. | |
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| Can a bad relationship trigger a change in Sexual Orientation?
Posted: 10/13/2009 7:10:48 AM | | Thats sounds ridiculous to me, I dont believe ones gender orientation can change. You are born that way, that is predisposed either opposite sex, same sex or some bisexual. I have heard some women say they just got fed up with men so they went to women. This sort of situation seems odd, my thinking regarding the matter is for them to go to women means they may predisposed as bisexual from the start. While it is true women are the more complex being, and have a more complex way of seeing things from so many sides. I am inclined to think that the loving, nurturing side of them might be better fulfilled by another women who can attend to those needs that men may not be capable of understanding. After all men are men and women are women. I constantly hear some women say they have to teach men to understand women. All I can say is it aint happening. We were born as men because that is what we are biologically. We will never be women nor be able to think like them. We may come to understand how and why they think as they do but that wont change how we react. | |
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| Can a bad relationship trigger a change in Sexual Orientation?
Posted: 10/13/2009 7:16:34 AM | "Triggered" into changing sexual orientation?!
You're either gay or not. There's no switching teams back and forth. Gosh, if that were the case can you imagine how many would be doing this?!! How many people DON'T have a bad relationship in other words........... | |
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| Can a bad relationship trigger a change in Sexual Orientation?
Posted: 10/13/2009 11:35:08 AM | | Any gay guy I've ever known has stated that he was always that way as far back as he could remember, so I don't think gay men ever make a decision to be gay. They may make a decsion to come "out" and live openly and honest, but they don't recruit or change fron hetero to gay. I have however known many women who've reported that they switched based on a choice brought on by a "bad" relationship or several serial bad relationships with men. | |
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| Can a bad relationship trigger a change in Sexual Orientation?
Posted: 10/13/2009 11:56:03 AM |
I don't see how a bad relationship can trigger a change in sexual orientation unless the person is confused about their sexuality during that relationship. Oh, definitely some weak-minded people can change their sexual behavior due to a relationship experience. I think this is the way many people into homosexuality and bisexuality.
Of course it goes without saying that a certain type of bad relationship will change everyone, or that a certain type of bad relationship will always change someone who is on the bubble. There's much grey area in here.
It's always been hard for me to believe that we aren't all bisexual to some degree when each of us are made up of like 49.99999999999999999999% of the genes of the opposite sex. I can't recall ever having one bisexual thought.
If you think there is only gay or straight, no inbetweens, no mostly straight or mostly gays, then yes you are going to have to believe that bad relationships can switch a persons orientation. I believe experiences can definitely influence one's sexual behavior, but I'm not of this all or nothing attitude. There's lots of grey area here for many people--it pretty much depends on how strong your mental constitution is.
Oh, I don't believe much of that Kinsey stuff--I think there is definitely an agenda with that research. | |
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| Can a bad relationship trigger a change in Sexual Orientation?
Posted: 11/5/2009 1:50:46 PM | One thing though, from a psychological perspective I have read that the one instance where doctors say a persons sexual orientation can be changed from what it was is in cases of chronic sexual abuse. In particular women who were sexually and physically abused as children and then as adults.
- This is true also in some cases.
I really don't like getting into these posts, it can get quite controversial... but I will say that technically, there is no such thing as "gay" or, alternative lyfestyles.... it's simply a sexual perversion. Some people are "gay", some people are into domination, whips and chains, etc. This perfectly explains "bisexuality", by the way. I suppose you could argue that "gay" is a more extreme sexual perversion, but it still boils down to just another tool some people have in their emotional/sexual tool box. It's not all it's cracked up to be, and not really a big deal... unless they portray themselves as being hetro and marry.... that's fraud.
What bothers me is the gay agenda, which to me is nothing more than attention-seeking, and self-serving.... trying to get special rights for a sexual perversion... I mean, should I enjoy a special status for being into domination?! ...or tax write-offs or other perks for marrying my cat?! Pleeeeese!
I subscribe to the "Don't ask, don't tell" rule... it should be kept private.
All that said, I do have one gay friend, it's really no big deal to me.. I'm just telling it like it is. | |
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| Can a bad relationship trigger a change in Sexual Orientation?
Posted: 11/5/2009 3:04:48 PM | I am 100% straight and feel sexually attracted to male only.
I didn't have any 'bad' relationship with any one so far but I don't feel connected to guys much emotionally and spiritually. So I've thought about the possibility to have a female partner. | |
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| Can a bad relationship trigger a change in Sexual Orientation?
Posted: 11/5/2009 6:09:10 PM | Remember the very first crush you ever had?
I have two gay people in my family (one male, one female) and when they were young they had those crushes on members of the same gender.
Both of them have been attracted to members of the same sex from childhood; however, I have seen them both go through bad times in relationships and try to “switch sides.” It was a joke! They knew it was a joke, family members knew it was a joke, and friends knew it was a joke.
When I was eight I always thought about this blond girl named Heather I went to school with. I had a HUGE crush on her (as far as eight year old crushes go). I still remember her, why? It was my first crush. People that are gay have those feelings at a young age about members of the same sex. Just like straight people do. | |
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| Can a bad relationship trigger a change in Sexual Orientation?
Posted: 11/5/2009 6:57:16 PM | | I doubt it. I would think they were gay to begin with and just came to terms with it later on. Some people who don't want to come out of the closet yet will engage in heterosexual relationships to appear "normal" in front of family, friends, ect. | |
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