| Women Who Are Financially Broke
Posted: 10/18/2009 10:11:46 AM | | lol my i my mom actually got less but she didnt really ask for much. they are still god friends but just saying money doesnt matter it comes it goes its nice to have but it will never make ya truly happy | |
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| Women Who Are Financially Broke
Posted: 10/18/2009 5:17:21 PM | Dating doesn't need to cost more than a coffee. Going for a walk through a nice park with good conversation is all that is needed.
I seriously question the motives for dating after divorce. So many people looking for long term and marriage, why? The point of marriage is too have kids, when you get to the age where kids are not an option why get married? Another thing too where marriage is concerned, it really is something that no longer is needed. Marriage is from a time when women didn't work, so financially they had to get married. Now women can work and be sufficent on their one and raise kids. What need is there for marriage? First argument will be it demonstrates committment, that to me is a load of crap.
I for one would never even consider marriage again, it is something for me that you only do once, fail well that is it, the one shot is gone. In addition second marriages have an even higher divorce rate, which is 45% for first marriages. Plus, I still have an old household I have to subsidize for at least the next ten years, how could I take on another 'new' family when I can barely take care of myself. Half my income goes to my kids, there is support payments, then there is the costs when they are with me, food etc which pretty much equals the support payment. Then you can tack on dentist appointments etc on top of that. And God damnit I cannot claim ANY of it on income taxes!!!!!!!! For me I would never go beyond friendship/dating because financially I can't no matter what job I have or where I live.
A note on divorce, no fault is the worst mistake they ever made. It is now too easy. You rotten ***** you left the cap off the tooth paste again. Guess what? One visit to a lwayer and your done, you cannot contest it. They made it too damn easy, so the committment is really not required when you can get out so easily, and anyone can rationalize their decision to end it because there is no accountability.
So point here to me is what the hell does it matter what job a person is doing or how much money they make? It is better to date and keep financial matters and residences separate. Doesn't mean you can't be committed, and in the end you will get along better. Nobody remembers how sickening it gets seeing the same person day after day hour after hour? Self tortchure is kinda sick isn't it? | |
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| Women Who Are Financially Broke
Posted: 10/18/2009 5:36:29 PM | | What's rather sad is that the vast majority who knows what some people are very capable of... would express how greatly disappointed they are to see them working at a dead end job. I've met a whole lot of people who were even doctors before they arrived here in Toronto... and it's near impossible to survive on a minimum wage by themselves no matter how they budget, especially when only a mere few are offered full-time status which also will make a resume give a false impression... and from what I've heard... those who get employed most likely decided to have their information fabricated... especially for those positions requiring at least a 2 years experience. So how come they didn't go back to upgrade or obtain some other degree? Mainly to avoid getting too deep in debt and to be able to pay their necessary living expenses. It's quite difficult for most people who finally found the opportunity to prove themselves worthy... but sometimes... despite the numerous compliments we get from both clientelle an co-workers... the management might try to discredited them with some sort of lie... in other words... bullying. | |
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| Women Who Are Financially Broke
Posted: 10/19/2009 5:23:31 PM | Another issue you sometimes find is that you may take an interest in someone, a friend of a girl you know, but she will tell you... "yeah she's single, but she is broke, lost her job, and is in debt. She likes to shop a lot, and spends lots of money, etc...."
I didn't ask about her money, I asked if the girl was available. But now the fact that I'm being told about this negative stuff about her, I had to rethink my interest in her, because the impression I got was that this girl was depressed and unhappy. And that isn't attractive. But the point is this... if I didn't know about her financial situation, I still would have been interested. Nothing worse than being told the number of reasons why you can't or shouldn't date that person. | |
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| Women Who Are Financially Broke
Posted: 10/20/2009 8:31:59 PM | onefree guy
I know many people who are not content with their low paying job and complain all the time. And I also know many with higher paying jobs who are very thankful and relishing the ability to pay their mortgages and car payments in a timely and orderly manner..as well as enjoy real vacations...
And also remember..your landlord....mortgage lender and car loan financer also is happy when you have that high paying job as well.. I don't too many money lenders who will give a mortgage on minimum wage.....if you do know....please give me their contact details...
A high paying job may not give you all happiness in the world...but it can definately choose which of the many different miseries you can get from a low paying job.
davey1208
consider that "insider tip" a blessing from the Gods, even if you did date this woman without knowing her financial situation....but you would eventually find out through dating....would you continue to date her still? Remember this woman is in debt, broke and spend-aholic (possibly a credit card junkie) . At some point this woman would approach you for money....and with her situation and spending habits... would you see any money back from her? Would you want to give up all the money and assets you have diligently saved/sacrificed to give it to someone who had no respect for their own money? If I were you I would be thankful your friend disclosed this very important piece of information and spared you a headache and a loss of money.
It is not getting easier to live financially here in this country...isnt it ideal for all of us to find a life partner who can compliment and enhance our living standard than to find a deadbeat that needs a stimulus package, bail-out or sugar-daddy?
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| Women Who Are Financially Broke
Posted: 10/21/2009 7:34:16 AM | | I am neither broke nor jobless, however I do not own anything nor do I have any savings...what I am is stupid. I have had 3 real serious relationships in my lifetime, all ended with the guy making out way better than me. My most recent was 5yrs long ending last year. When we met, I had been on my own for 12yrs raising my 14yr old daughter. He was in the middle of a very nasty divorce with a women who cheated on him then proceeded to take him to the cleaners. He was living in a rented, furnished home and paying through the nose for spousal and child support. 1 year into our relationship he complained that he couldn't afford where he was living any longer, however couldn't afford to buy the furniture required to move into a cheaper place. I suggested he move in with me as I had accumulated all of the household furnishings needed. I paid for trips, I split all costs, was told that because my daughter lived with us full-time and he was paying 50% of the bills that he was in effect helping me to support my daughter so thought that I should be responsible for all of the household cleaning, laundry and making sure the bills were paid. Last year he moved out into his own 200,000+ home, driving a new vehicle and had accumulated 20,000+ into his savings account. Oh yeah, and I recently found out that he had been registered on this site for at least a year and a half before we split up. I may not have alot in what you would call a financial portfolio but at least I can look in the mirror everyday and like the person looking back at me. | |
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| Women Who Are Financially Broke
Posted: 10/22/2009 9:30:07 AM | Oops... I made a typo trying to figure out how to shorten what I had in mind to say as I had to answer a rather important phone call...
Edit ***
It's quite difficult for most people who finally found the opportunity to prove themselves worthy to know that persistence doesn't always warrant a decent job where our disciplinary actions will give us the deserved respect as sometimes despite the numerous compliments we get from both clientelle and co-workers... the management might try to discredited them with some sort of lie... in other words... bullying.
Added ***
If it were so easy, I'm very sure there would be recruiting agencies always be able to find employment that "almost" anybody can obtain... yet I heard from all of them in the Toronto area that they only have positions available for those who earned particular scholarships... i.e. truck drivers, plumbers, carpenters... etc.
In otherwords... please let it be known which company claims that they can "always" get any Canadian citizen hired immediately. Certainly there are job hunters who would be more than glad to continually pay $50 a month for a whole year granted if they can keep earning at least $24'000 anually which I personally feel is just enough to get by.
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| Women Who Are Financially Broke
Posted: 11/10/2009 5:07:17 PM | Unfortunately, it's usually single moms who are in this position.
For whatever reason, they gave themselves away thinking it was the easy way out.
Have a few babies and be looked after for the rest of their lives.
It doesn't work like that; and they know this now.
How do they get out and meet someone?
This seems like a pretty good venue.
I'm sure they're looking at finances above everything else.
They're looking out for their kids. It's natural.
If you've had some bad experiences, you might be pleasantly surprised at some of these ladies. Wisdom has given them patience that might otherwise not be tolerated by someone like myself. They're not in "the driver's seat", so to speak. So, this is your opportunity to find someone who will tolerate all your idiocies that made you alone too. Give them a chance.
I'm new here, but I think I've met someone wonderful.
We'll see.
I wish money wasn't a barrier, but it is, and always will be. | |
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| Women Who Are Financially Broke
Posted: 11/11/2009 12:26:26 PM | Thanks to this site, I've had the fine pleasure of meeting and dating many people, and have met my fair share of "financially broke" women....if you are 50 and all your assets fit into an overnight bag, and you are eyeballing MY house and the furnishing and making comments like "Wow, you have a nice place, decorated so nice...", the word "Gold digger" comes to mind....sorry, i worked hard for my assets, and regardless of how nice you are, how big and perky your boobs may be, and how awesome you may look and smell, it all comes down to, if we hook up, what are YOU bringing to the table?
Not here about to give away half of my half.  | |
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| Women Who Are Financially Broke
Posted: 11/13/2009 10:00:37 PM | I can't say I would'nt date a woman in that kind of situation, but I would definatly have many questions like - Why? What kind of job is she looking for? Does she even want to work? etc.
In my eyes it's just another part of the "getting to know someone". My curious mind wants to know before I pass judgement. | |
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| Women Who Are Financially Broke
Posted: 11/14/2009 10:51:32 AM | I think if you meet someone ....Focus on the person ....If you care enough to help that person pull it together and get out of debt and then build a future together with the one you care about....wouldn't that be a better solution than passing up something that could make you happy....lets face it we should be chasing happiness..... not credit worthiness....
There are so many ways to get into debt ...but equally there are ways of getting out of debt....It's not a disease it just a situation..... | |
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| Women Who Are Financially Broke
Posted: 11/14/2009 7:24:34 PM | | I personally believe most men and women are way too quite at making poor judgement calls, usually thinking those who are struggling are just not trying hard enough to reach their goals or just not smart enough, meanwhile... if given the opportunity... those same people hired might quickly prove themselves capable of doing much better than even the managers... which also creates another problem... being over qualified. Anyhow... there are going to be those financially broke that may quickly earn their way into wealth... but although it's a gamble... maybe we could provide the right solutions. | |
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| Women Who Are Financially Broke
Posted: 11/15/2009 8:23:02 AM | Everything is a gamble everyday of everyones life!
It is and never is anything as to what you can earn or have .
Just waking up tommorrow is a gamble .
You date someone beacause you want to date them period.
Putting their personal finances as a reference as dateable or not dateable should not be what you should be looking at.
I know lots of people highly educated with degree's yet they can not find any job in their education field.
The biggest probblem is most of you need to learn to respect others !!
As alot of you have no respect for anyone who does not own a new car /a nice home or a high paying job!
And thats why so many of you are finding it hard to find someone to date .
Sure you might have the education but that does not mean your gonna earn big bucks !
Learn ( RESPECT )FOR OTHERS and you might learn something.
If not then your not worth dating yourself!LOL
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| Women Who Are Financially Broke
Posted: 11/15/2009 2:37:58 PM | | Firmbear - I agree with what you've just said and I beleive that too many online daters have too long a list of "criterias" . But there are certain criterias where some men and women wil not budge an inch, being financialy stable is one for many. I can undertand that because once you get used to a lifestyle, dating someone who is broke/jobeless can hinder your way of living. | |
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| Women Who Are Financially Broke
Posted: 11/16/2009 4:01:36 PM | Correction granted, I actually did mean to say it might "seem" like giving somebody financially broke a chance "too much" of a gamble in terms of what effort is made as to provide further guidance. Similar to a judgement call myself, thinking I most likely wouldn't be able to break somebody out of what a young lady had confessed to me about her being an alcoholic.... all I really did afterwards was advise her to see a psychiatrist since I'm not in the profession... and even though she didn't go... 4 months later... she cheerfully thanked me along with her friends for giving her the inspiration because everybody knew that I didn't need any drinks or any drugs to live very happily that she kicked all of her bad habits and felt much better and from having explained how the mind can be truly powerful. At that time... I was dating somebody else... so then she soon found herself a man who happens to think just like me.
Rhetorically asking... how many people are willing to put forth a decent amount of effort to make a relationship work... or are they way too afraid they might be wasting their time? | |
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| Women Who Are Financially Broke
Posted: 11/19/2009 11:57:34 PM | | well it depends on why you are broke...if you spent bunch of money on stuff you really didn't need.. well no.. but if you have spent money on going back to school.. that a good... so i say it would have to depend on why you are broke... i heard some say they can't get a job... thats bull poo.. there are lots of job out there some not soo good but its a job.... you need to do something not just sit on your butt.. | |
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| Women Who Are Financially Broke
Posted: 11/23/2009 12:44:00 PM | | Having a job matters. Having a comparable income matters. The biggest stressor in relationships is money. Why start a relationship with someone who can't pull their own weight? It's just something that will cause trouble down the road. | |
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| Women Who Are Financially Broke
Posted: 11/24/2009 5:47:16 AM | taking any job for the sake of having one can be a terrible mistake. employers will judge before even meeting you based on your work history. yes might have the education, the experience, but the question will be asked why were you working at McDonald's? then you get filed under 'G'. in economic times such as now it is easy for people who still have a good job to sit high on their pony and judge others as lazy and all the other crap that is said on here. tell that to the thousands of auto workers who just lost in most cases the only job they ever had while you drive your foreign made car. the other thing too is this thread can easily be turned into would you date someone with a low paying job. even those who claim any job is better then nothing would be quick to say no they would not date a person with a low paying job.
oh, and debt due to 'education' is not good debt, I am sorry. student loans are the worst thing the government ever did. those loans will cripple you financially for a very very long time. before taking out a student loan research it, make sure what you are studying has a demand in the labour market and pays a salary that will allow you to pay it back. they don't care if your income is low, they will hound you to the ends of the earth for their money, it is the government. many people end up living 'underground' due to student loans. not exactly the best 'investment' in some cases. | |
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| Women Who Are Financially Broke
Posted: 11/24/2009 7:45:26 AM | Well if you are financially broke its not the end of the world .
As everyone here can agree the best things in your life are not the ones you pay for !
Its always them free things in life you love & remember the most!
Putting someones net worth above anything else when deciding to date them or not is the begining of a bad thing !
Don't believe me just look at how many are devorsed /seperated /etc.
Thats the biggest probblem why canadians find it hard to find the right mate its all what you have& own as to if your date matterial or not.
Wakey wakey money only buys things material things . Sure its nice to have lots but even that can not make you totally content and happy ! | |
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