| Flakey & inconsistent behavior. Localized or more common than I realize?
Posted: 11/6/2009 12:36:53 PM | This has been a good read for me. I think right know I am a little flakey trying to figure some things out. And that is ok. I do know what I desire. I am myself most of the time. I am brutely honest and don't play games. After spending as much time as I have in these forums I have learned alot about myself. This is a good thing. I really really like LTR's comments!!! I wish I could meet up with him when I am in Plano over thanksgiving!! For friendly conversation because he appears wise in his young age.
At least I can admit being a little flaky right know!! I think the phase is about over. I am doing what LTR said Just being my self all the time. It is refreshing!! Breathing and living in the moment, day, present at all times. I truely am a diamond in the ruff!! | |
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| Flakey & inconsistent behavior. Localized or more common than I realize?
Posted: 11/10/2009 5:15:08 PM | | Honestandfunny, you bring up many great points. Yes, I think it is harder for 30+ people trying to do the online dating thing & no it doesn't matter what state you live in, I think everyone has had what you described happen to us. Everyone knows it's very easy to type, use older pictures, or be "flakey" as you say. As Svetlana Blue says: men are just as dishonest too & do the same crap. As far as LTL73 says, "most men are just looking for a quick hook up", I am a woman & it can be true for men or women. I do not find this to be true with most guys I have met off here at all though. No, I'm not naive, as a matter of fact, I will tell them straight out on a 1st date that "you aren't getting laid, so if this upsets you, take a walk". Most guys appreciate my forwardness, never had one say they wouldn't go out with me (all though yes, some still try). No, I'm not a prude, far from it but it seems to work for me. Am I going to put this on my profile? No or I wouldn't get any replies probably! Which again brings me too LTL73 again, this woman you met through here, hey man, sorry it didn't work but did you really expect her to write "I am a slob" on her profile? Bottom line, the majority of people just write a line of bs that after a while you can totally see through. Come on, we all fib a bit as long as it isn't a crapload of lies. I have met a lot of cool people on dating sites & in person, also met met a load of losers as well but I still give people a chance. If anyone is to the point here that it's all they meet are losers & lyers then it's very easy to cancel your membership than it is to b*tch, right? No one is forcing you to be here. | |
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| Flakey & inconsistent behavior. Localized or more common than I realize?
Posted: 11/10/2009 8:26:40 PM | | I personally think that it is because you are from Michigan you feel this way. I am also from Michigan and moved to Arizona and have found the same thing. I think we both have moved away from those wonderful mid-western values......where people are polite and down to earth. What I wouldn't give to find a nice Michigan guy here in AZ!!!! Most of the guys are either cowboys or metrosexuals here.....ug!!! | |
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| Flakey & inconsistent behavior. Localized or more common than I realize?
Posted: 11/10/2009 8:34:51 PM | | I think with the internet a lot of people get the high of being contacted or wanted so to speak and then enjoy it for the moment like chocolate and it's like shopping at walmart on the internet. no personal contact, no feelings, not remorse or consideration. totally annoymous. the good on the internet are few and far between on the internet...or maybe they aren't but it's like this. when a telemarketer calls you on the phone it's easy to say no but in person it's not so easy because it's a real person standing in front of you. it's not a webpage you can ignore or click off of. | |
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| Flakey & inconsistent behavior. Localized or more common than I realize?
Posted: 11/10/2009 8:35:11 PM | There is a BIG difference in the social norms between South Florida and the Upper Midwest! Heck, there is a huge gap between Monroe and Dade counties even. I've found that the mores in the Keys (not including Old Town in Key West) much more oriented similar to what you (and I, being from Chicago) are used to than what I've experienced in Miami Dade or Broward.
No, your not crazy, but this place is!
But the good news is that you may not find the majority of people compatible, but there are a few like you out there. | |
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| Flakey & inconsistent behavior. Localized or more common than I realize?
Posted: 11/11/2009 1:56:42 PM |
There are the rare people who are "real", who know exactly who they are. They are usually confident enough not to try and please someone else to maintain a relationship with them by being who they want them to be and not who they really are.
Everyone is real...but not everyone knows who they are. And it does take time to get to know someone. Many people are so lonely that they want "instamacy". This makes it hard to take things at a normal pace from the internet. The phone calls and emails can really make you view someone in one way when in fact they are quite another; they didn't necessarily misrepresent themselves so much as they put their "job interview" face on and are showing you their best foot forward.
Someone else gave great advice. Lower your expectations. Hope to make a friend or even just a friendly connection. Stop viewing meeting someone that is not "the one" as a waste of time. Enjoy dangling your line off the pier...look at the pretty fishies that are not for you but are still sparkly.  | |
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| Flakey & inconsistent behavior. Localized or more common than I realize?
Posted: 11/16/2009 2:00:08 AM | When I first got back into the dating pool, I thought that since I would be looking at college-educated women in their 30's who were also looking for a LTR leading to a family and kids that I'd be entering dating nirvana. What I've encoutered is a mix of nice women that I have no chemistry with or attraction to, women who are not attracted to me, and the ever-entertaining "crazies". The "crazies" are far more prevalent than I would have ever thought in that demographic.
I've gotten so discouraged that I now often go nearly a week before checking my POF and eHarmony profiles. A few months ago I would check them daily. | |
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