| after you cum.. (mainly for guys)
Posted: 10/13/2009 9:09:29 PM | o/p: you already know the answer -why do you ask?
whats the difference between a toilet and a whore?
-you don't have to hold a toilet after you use it...
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| after you cum.. (mainly for guys)
Posted: 10/13/2009 9:15:58 PM | Dave, you usually give great advice, and have worth while posts.
The OP is asking for advice, and appears to me that he appreciates and receives it well. What may be routine to you in the past, is not the case in this situation.. at least in my responses to him, and his appreciation.
I'm surprised that you are stereotyping 20 something yr. old men tonight.
The OP appears to be in search of answers. Anyone coming on this site, searching for sincere answers, gets my respect, just as you do. That's why I voted NOT to delete his Post.. I felt he was serious, and he's proven himself to be, in my eyes.
I think that you jumped the gun tonight, and your approach was to pre judge....in other words, Dave, I think that you blew it this time. | |
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| after you cum.. (mainly for guys)
Posted: 10/13/2009 9:20:25 PM | beach is my hero
ok so we've come to the conclusion that sex with someone you dont have feelings for is different than sex with someone you do..
but what if i like the girl? i like spending time with her, she's very physically attractive, but it still feels weird afterward, is it because im not over my ex? or will this feeling change in time?
also lets assume the feeling doesnt change and i still feel distant, is it really rational to consider not having sex with anyone until i find the "right person"? and how will i know if she's the right person and how i will feel about her after sex unless i have sex with her? lol well i guess we could fool around and do stuff besides sex and achieve similar results.. is that what i should do?
thanks for the responses. most of them anyways. | |
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| after you cum.. (mainly for guys)
Posted: 10/13/2009 9:30:24 PM | OP even though you like the lady in question, I think that you are answering your own question, the 'feeling' the BIG ONE .. its just not there with her.
It was there with your EX. I dont think that you are comparing new relationships with the EX. But I will say this, you had history with your EX shared times, and it takes time to build that history with a new person, so you do have to give that side of it a chance to develop.
Sure if you choose to have sex with other people until you find the 'special' lady, go right ahead, but dont beat yourself up over a lack of connection. That is what happens when we choose to have sex to early in a relationship, or with someone we dont actually see as relationship material. | |
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| after you cum.. (mainly for guys)
Posted: 10/13/2009 9:37:17 PM | OP -- Hmm...I can't say I'm with you on this one.
I've ignored or neglected "cuddle time" after I cum, but this is after having sex with people I wasn't really all that hot for anyways beyond the physical. With the rest, before I go off and after I go off they're still the same. I cuddle for a bit then get to scrambling in case they wanna start up right away again. Sorry, but it just gets a little too tender when I'm done. LOL.
But I can say I don't see them as aversive after I'm done by any means.
Sounds like you're still too hung up on the "diamond standard" from your past  | |
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| after you cum.. (mainly for guys)
Posted: 10/13/2009 9:40:44 PM | Green, I admire you for being so open, and receptive.
I like Dave's wealth of advice. He's well respected on the POF Forums.
I call it as I see it : ) At times, we've all make errors in Judgement, and that's what I feel that he did tonight. He's sharp, but he's only human. Tonight, I think that Dave was dead wrong.
To answer your question.....I suggest that you get over your ex before you become sexually or romantically active with someone else. You seem uncertain on this, maybe confused : ) And if you don't know, why potentially involve another heart in your uncertainty ?
Have fun, enjoy your youth, and take your time. It sounds to me like you might be grieving.. if you are, there are stages that you may be going thru.
When you are ready, you will likely find someone that appeals to you... and the memory of the woman that you aren't over at this point in time, will be put in perspective : ) | |
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| after you cum.. (mainly for guys)
Posted: 10/13/2009 10:12:57 PM | Still got feelings for the ex? unfortunately in reality that ship has sailed
even if you could get back with her -theres a reason why she's an ex... and if you told your ex you miss her cuz you liked the way you felt after cumming in her -what exactly do you think her reaction is going to be?
theres probibly an ex in everyone's life who made them feel special, however your better off moving on looking forward at something tangible and not backward at something that has fleeted into history, -your going to ruin every future relationship if you keep looking back at things that were, instead of new things to cum -(no pun intended). | |
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| after you cum.. (mainly for guys)
Posted: 10/13/2009 10:37:25 PM | IMHO, Green already knows the answer. LIKE (goodfawk/buddywithabum/cuteeven) does NOT add up to LOVE. He knows he's not in love with any of the women he has screwed but not been in love with.
As far as my flippant answer ... I was referring to another thread where he poked me for explaining a situation (GSPOTS) that "everybody" knew about already. I pointed out that if he'd read the posts he would have seen that most did NOT know about it. Several women pointed out that most men let alone women DO NOT KNOW about it. He sounded like he knew everything already and was critical of my comments that old farrts like me know more than young farrts like him ... Said it was arrogant and sterotyping. Guilty am I but that doesn't make my claim any LESS truthful or valid.
I think that you jumped the gun tonight, and your approach was to pre judge....in other words, Dave, I think that you blew it this time.
My "advice" was obvious - Don't expect the feelings of LOVE to be there when you're NOT.
Simple. Looking back 40 YEARS from now he will have deduced all by hisownself that that is self-evident. He's asking for that to be spelled out for him now? I just did.
Sorry my sarcasm wasn't obvious an I let ya'll down little buddy.
*HA* ... just read your profile. You're an old farrt too. WE should just tell him to just work things out and check back with us in 35 YEARS and see if what we said didn't make sense at the time. ;-))
Hey cute PUP. | |
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| after you cum.. (mainly for guys)
Posted: 10/13/2009 11:54:43 PM | Personally I have the same issue. Once a guy is done, Im like what the hell he looks like he has down syndrome how the **** did I miss this? .... Ive added a paper bag to the nightstand, next to the Ky... This should be a nice fix!!
^T^ | |
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| after you cum.. (mainly for guys)
Posted: 10/14/2009 12:29:45 AM | people just want something more when they dont have it. but it wasnt always like that is why it bothers me so much. i guess i just have to find the "right person" that i feel just as good with afterwards as before.. i know its possible..
You could try sleeping with girls you have feelings for in the first place.
It's possible the feelings you describe are actually feelings of self-disgust. | |
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| after you cum.. (mainly for guys)
Posted: 10/14/2009 1:18:04 AM | | To be honest... Normally I'm ready for another round...... I figure why just stop at round one when you can go for round two. | |
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| after you cum.. (mainly for guys)
Posted: 10/14/2009 4:56:36 AM | Dave, it takes a big Man to admit when he's wrong.
I didn't have any previous knowledge of the post that you refered to. Yes, I'm a year and a half younger than you are.
In the region where I live, there are people who are parents at age 15, grand parents at age 30... and GASP....I don't want to think about what that might make them at age 45 : )
And in South Carolina, the legal age of sexual consent in SIXTEEN! That dumb founds me. No Dueling Banjo Music, PLEASE lol I relocated here , 3 years ago
But to give credit where it's due, I really think that Green was serious in this post. I like reaching out to that generation, or any generation who's looking for answers. I think that you do too : )
And I agree with you... most men, his age or our's know very little when it comes to G spots, ( or making a woman squirt ) . If I had read his reply that you mentioned, I would have called him on it. | |
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| after you cum.. (mainly for guys)
Posted: 10/14/2009 5:07:46 AM |
He's well respected on the POF Forums. By whom? He only posts on the sex forums and then gahhh, oral sex over and and over imo...
Liking a woman is not loving a woman. Sex isn't a need. Wait until you actually have true emotions for the woman before you have sex with them; otherwise, you are just using them. You see them in the used light... Wait until you care about them and you will see them in the after glow light. Don't let anyone try to convince you that you should go out and nail a bunch of woman because a man has needs, your emotional needs are just as important. Emotionally you aren't into anyone but your ex still. Wait until you are. | |
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| after you cum.. (mainly for guys)
Posted: 10/14/2009 5:50:44 AM | the only girl i ever thought was just as beautiful before i came as after, was my ex.. and i realize im obviously not 100% over her but damn .. it just seems like no one is ever going to be up to par to her
OP, there will be that "ONE" whom you'll never forget - in your head like a mental illness. The more you obsess, the greater her legend. Erase the memories, put them on a shelf. The quicker you stop comparing her to the the ones's who followed, the easier all this will get for you. The word I'll use here is TIME - it's really the only solution - give yourself TIME. Convince yourself there's a better ONE in your future. Until then - Love the one your with ..You've heard the song, right? | |
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| after you cum.. (mainly for guys)
Posted: 10/14/2009 6:16:47 AM | That's funny. Every once in a while some twit posts on here and they are downright ENRAGED that I like to set the record straight on G and A spots and occasionally on other matters that the OP or a posters is either ignorant about (which means they don't know) or just plain wrong.
He's well respected on the POF Forums.
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By whom? He only posts on the sex forums and then gahhh, oral sex over and and over imo...
IMHO the other forums are a collection of chatty types who need enormous amounts of emotional reinforcing before, during and after every possible decision when it comes to relationships. There is NO one answer to most of those questions. It depends entirely on who the personalities involved so it is waaay too complicated to get involved in.
The *gasp* SEX forums are for the most part cut and dried. THIS is what it is. This is WHERE it is and if you don't know already THIS is how to stimulate it properly. It is obvious that over many many subjects there is an abysmal state of ignorance. The posts PROVE it time and again. There is ONE subject that I concentrate on. GSPOTS and the twit above still thinks most of my threads are about *oral sex* so she can welcome herself to the club of idiots who not only DON'T KNOW but are too full of their own self-righteous indignation to even WANT to know the difference.
I post to the GSPOT threads because what I stumbled on many years ago is NOT well known. One of the most DANGEROUS MISconceptions associated with this is that female ejaculate is URINE. In a thread of 20 pages about every fifth or sixth post is from a person who does NOT know squat about the subject - only that pee pee comes out that hole so it must be that. ""ITZ PEEE!!!!"" is heard over and over and over again.
aaam and a few others (for some bizarre reason - mostly Methodists. Is knowledge of sexual things a SIN in that cult?) are really really pisssed that I return over and over again to clarify things or point out that another twit has claimed that GSPOTS don't exist, that they are deep deep deep in the vagina, that they are up in the intestinal tract and the #Uno twit post that women are simply peeeeing on ya when they ejaculate. Ignoring ALL the posts from WOMEN who know the differences and know their bodies they persist in posting nonsense. For the sake of those who are IGNORANT - as opposed to arrogant and idiotic - I feel the need to provide accurate information so especially young people don't come here, read some idiots post and believe that to be true. SOme find my persistence in that mission terribly annoying but then again pointing out that I do that and they find it annoying is usually the only observation they care to share with the readers of these pages so for the most part they come across as bitter, ignorant, jealous (most of them obviously have NEVER experienced G-Gasms or been with any lover who know either) and petty. I'd rather HELP and share and save my bitter sounding attacks for those who deserve them.
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| after you cum.. (mainly for guys)
Posted: 10/14/2009 6:27:26 AM | | This hasn't happened to me, but I can see that it could happen for some people. I also wouldn't have sex with someone I didn't like - and I have to know them at least a little to like them. Perhaps lust makes someone appear more attractive - like the bar closing time phenomenon. After the lust is sated, that attractive glow fades rapidly in the aftermath once you realize that there's nothing else there to maintain the attraction. | |
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| after you cum.. (mainly for guys)
Posted: 10/14/2009 6:30:14 AM | I think it's more simple than people realize. You can feel lust for someone and that desire for a physical release is strong. After your physical desire is spent, the emotional connection becomes that much more apparent. Or, perhaps in your case the lack of one?
If you're really in love with someone that you have sex with, barring some of the more easily explained scenarios, you're going to see them in the same way. Or, as one of the other men to respond to this have said, see her as being even more beautiful. If you don't go in that direction, then you just wanted to have sex with her.
I think there are other scenarios that could prompt your desire to extricate yourself from bed directly after, but I wouldn't see those as leaving a lasting impression regarding your perception of her after. I always thought that was so messed up. That someone is good enough to have sex with, but not good enough to want around after. | |
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| after you cum.. (mainly for guys)
Posted: 10/14/2009 6:42:01 AM | For me I think it all depends on their level of enthusiasm.
as far as "hotter" or "less attractive' goes, Okay that is just plain stupid to me, it's not their appearance that changes. my ex-gf for example, she was cute built like a gymnast
obviously no complaints there. like I stated in aprevious post she was only "okay" at oral (not porn-star passionate lovemaking like I'd've preferred), but not too bad. It was still rather enjoyable. i personally don't think women get any less or more attractive afterward. infact I think they look kinda the same.
"Hotness" IMHO depends on sexually adept looks not "oh She looks like Angelina with a huge rack" Honestly(and i'm a guy so bear with me) as Much I'd like to boink a super drop dead gorgeous Kim Kardashian look-a-like, I already know something of THAT caliber is severely out-of-my-league. that's why i never super-hot. Try going for cute, or moderately attractive. They may not always be the most eager to "emulate porn" but well, as I stated in another post take it slow but not too slow with them. | |
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| after you cum.. (mainly for guys)
Posted: 10/14/2009 7:19:42 AM | ok ok so common reponse seems to be.. that i should get to know the person and really like them on an emotional level before i have sex if i want it to feel that way again.. but then consider this
the first night i actually met my ex, we ended up having sex.. and it felt just as good then as it did later and all the way through the relationship actually.. i mean the frequency dropped quite a bit but i could honestly say i never had a single bad or unfulfilling time with her in bed, and after every session i felt like.. amazing and happy to be with her and stuff, even the first time............. did i just get lucky? (or rather unlucky for "falling" so easily/quickly?)
has anyone else had sex with a girl for the first time and just knew that you had to be with her? and that you loved her? lol or am i being superficial? im really not sure here.. | |
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| after you cum.. (mainly for guys)
Posted: 10/14/2009 8:22:07 AM | hmmm actually I think that it was more of some people being jealous that I am extremely sexual. Reading the same crap over and over again from someone ignorant is a bore. Even the mods have had to limit the excessive repeating posts.
But this dude's problem doesn't involve his inabilities, so fat man with no male part that enjoys things jammed in his arse advice doesn't apply here.
No one can predict how soon you will fall in love with someone. Obviously you would still be with this woman if all was right between you two. Because STD's can be gotten by having even protected sex, you really need to know your partner well enough to talk to them to ask them about their testing. When the last time they had sex is important because some STD's don't show up right way in testing. If you also aren't exclusive you continuously will be exposing yourself to whatever this person came in contact with through her partner and partner's partners. There are some threads on here about herpes and HPV. HPV is being linked to cancers in men in particular since men don't use a mouth dam or vaginal dam when performing oral sex and the same with a man wearing a condom when receiving oral and it is spread. Of course wearing a condom doesn't protect you from getting HPV or herpes because the area around sexual organs ie areas covered by a bathing suit can infect you. Point is, be in a relationship or at least know them well enough that you know their testing. If you don't you risk picking up something.
So if you have mentally connected before having sex, when you do make love, you are digging all of them. It can make a relationship better and make you feel on top of the world knowing how you rocked someone's world. | |
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| after you cum.. (mainly for guys)
Posted: 10/14/2009 8:42:02 AM | OP, ignore those bitter women and so called "nice" guys.
It's natural to feel what you feel. When you go to a buffet, all the food look appetizing. After you stuffing yourself, the same food look less appealing.
But you can correct your perception by thinking how good it was, and thinking about the hungry people waiting in the line. You can say your prayers, and have another round. :) | |
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| after you cum.. (mainly for guys)
Posted: 10/14/2009 8:55:03 AM | It's because you realize that you are actually disgusted with someone who would sleep with you, so it becomes an instant turn off.
It's the Woody Allen Syndrome. He never wanted to belong to a club that would have him as a member. | |
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| after you cum.. (mainly for guys)
Posted: 10/14/2009 9:13:23 AM |
If you're IN LOVE the feeling is SO COMPLETELY different. I'd try and describe it but 20 year olds routinely insult us old faarts for thinking we "know" sheet and everybody knows you younguns know it all already so I won't bother.
I've been reading Dave's posts for a while. He knows the ins and outs of physical sex. But in general, he's a prejudice man.
The above statement from Dave is an example of his stereotype thinking. I don't assume an old farts know sheet, or do I assume them know sheet better than a 20 year old. | |
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| after you cum.. (mainly for guys)
Posted: 10/14/2009 9:36:12 AM |
Have you ever felt like you were half starved, and even cardboard would probably taste good ? How about the times you've probably had to p*ss like a race horse, and the urgency was unreal ? And an hour later, you don't have the same feeling that you did when you felt like the race horse ?
Excellent analogy.
Now for honest answer -- Hell YES woman are prettier before/until you cum.
Once you are completely satisfied your partner is at her absolute least attractive state. After all, you have been satisfied -- what is the point of being sexually attracted to her or anyone else for that matter? None.
Of course this quickly subsides as your hunger for sex begins to build so does her sexual appeal.
And so on, several times a day/week/etc... Not sure why anyone would take offense to such a phenomenon -- it is perfectly logical. | |
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