| Dating a person with mental illness scare u?
Posted: 10/14/2009 10:38:00 PM | | Sorry, mental illnesses scare me and I would never date someone with any type of mental disorder. Again. About five years ago I dated a guy who was a paranoid schizophrenic. Tried the whole supporting and loving thing. Didn't help as he didn't get better even with meds. He was diagnosed when he was younger but even at 18, he was hearing voices, seeing/assuming things. It was completely unbearable. Needless to say I left the relationship within 9 months. two years later I dated a guy who had one of the "minor" mental illnesses. His situation was NOT any better as he was socially awkward, always depressed, swore he took his pain meds when he didn't, turned to alcohol abuse and so many other things. There came a time where I had to look away from dating people with mental illnesses and I have been running ever since. | |
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| Dating a person with mental illness scare u?
Posted: 10/14/2009 11:02:40 PM | Almost everyone is mental in some way. The scary ones are those who don't know it. At least by admitting a mental condition they are in touch with it and trying to control it.
Besides, they might share some good meds. | |
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| Dating a person with mental illness scare u?
Posted: 10/15/2009 6:18:53 AM | | To me it would depend on WHICH mental illness it was. Theres an enormous difference between, say, depression and schizophrenia. Each illness has its own symptoms, and some of them can be extremely debilitating. Others are fairly easily controlled w medication. So it's an individual thing, IMO. | |
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| Dating a person with mental illness scare u?
Posted: 10/15/2009 7:04:09 AM | If you decide to go ahead, be prepared for a VERY BUMPY relationship. I had a girlfriend with MPD - multiple personality disorder. It lasted 3 years but I'm patient and listen well. I only found out about the MPD after I was deeply in love with her.
I had another live-in girlfriend that later told me she'd been treated by a shrink for 13 years. I found that out after she went catatonic and her son had to commit her to a mental hospital. The diagnosis was that she had severe untreated depression. She'd gone off her medication as women like this frequently do.
Let me warn you about something. Women like this have great difficulty forming a normal healthy relationship with a man. While it's possible to have a relationship with women like this don't bet that it will last forever.
They are probably attracted to you because you feel safe to them. You're attentive and listen to them. You don't judge them harshly. You try to help them with their problem. They see you as a caregiver....sort of like a private psychologist.
Before you invest your emotions in a woman with mental illness ask yourself if it's worth the price you'll eventually pay because I can guarantee you'll pay a price for it. | |
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| Dating a person with mental illness scare u?
Posted: 10/15/2009 7:06:35 AM | | There is a simple dating rule to follow. It applies to everybody, healthy, sick, rich, poor etc. Treat each and everyone on a case by case basis. You can generalize all you want but in the end everyone is an individual and every relationship is unique. Kinda like snowflakes. | |
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| Dating a person with mental illness scare u?
Posted: 10/15/2009 7:53:36 AM | | It depends on the mental disorder. A little depression, bipolar, and anxiety is not really that big of a deal, unless it's way out of control. Personality disorders such as antisocial and borderline are huge deals. I'm not sure about schizophrenia. People with chronic undifferentiated schizophrenia are fun to talk to; they say the most interesting things. Paranoid schizophrenia is a bit more severe. | |
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| Dating a person with mental illness scare u?
Posted: 10/15/2009 1:32:47 PM | I think I would have to really agree with people that say you need to treat it on a case by case bases. Who is to say they are any different then the next person. I think its easy for most of us that have had bad experiences based on anything to go right into the fear and the bad experience then the good ones. How would you feel, if you met this individual, hit it off, started to date were together for 6 months, and she said oh by the way I have some kind of mental illness. Would you feel betrayed? We all want people to be open and honest, yet when people are open and honest, we let fear sometimes control us.
I would say be upfront, if its worth it to you, educate yourself, and ask lots of questions. I think you are also right media plays a huge factor. There are MANY successful people with mental illnesses, and MANY successful people with problems. Everyone has them.
Good luck :) | |
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| Dating a person with mental illness scare u?
Posted: 10/15/2009 6:08:36 PM |
Treat each and everyone on a case by case basis. You can generalize all you want but in the end everyone is an individual and every relationship is unique. Kinda like snowflakes.
Thank you very much produceninja.
Everyone is someone's child.
Everyone is a human being.
I sense very little compassion and/or empathy for the person/people with the mental illness(es). British Columbia and Alberta are two Provinces that decided to cut funding to programs that assist people with mental illness. Most of these people ended up on the street, self medicating through illegal drugs and alcohol, living a very high risk life. Did they deserve to be treated like that?
Of course not, but their 'illness' was hidden and, therefore, easy to minimize.
It is 2009 and the majority of comments left here leave one feeling that the stigma is alive and well.
Shall we take pot-shots at the people who've opined here, including me?
None of us is perfect.
Get a grip everyone.
^^BG^^ | |
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| Dating a person with mental illness scare u?
Posted: 10/15/2009 6:09:31 PM | My goodness do you know how many successful, filthy dirty rich people suffer from bipolar/depression/anxiety? Do you know how many genuinely nice/good people suffer from bipolar/depression/anxiety issues? Well, if you didn't know...there are plenty. The disorder is not the person...it's just a disorder, not who they really are.
BUT, not everyone can deal with someone who has these mental "illnesses"...it is hard work to be with someone who is unstable in this way. But if you come to love someone, there are ways to work around it and to cooperate with them. | |
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| Dating a person with mental illness scare u?
Posted: 10/15/2009 6:27:48 PM | mental illness is much the same as any other illness/disease. There are many different levels of severity...
A violent paranoid schizophrenic is a much different person than someone who has minor anxiety.
So, in context to the original OP, it really matters what we are talking about? Some mental illness is manageable, other times its completely debilitating.
Also, there is A LOT of misdiagnosis in terms of mental illness. Depression is thrown around like a frisbee by some psychiatrists/psychologists. What is enviromental or chemical? Is it from a physical injury or years of mental anguish?
The stigma of mental illness is what needs to be overcome; if we have a broken arm we put it in a cast and try to heal it. When we have strep throat we take antibiotics. Therefore, if someone is truly suffering from mental issues, the idea of medication shouldn't be viewed as a taboo just as much as we might medicate for a cold?
If your brain is not firing right its not as simple as telling it to get better. I can't stare down my cholesterol level nor can I outwit a panic attack, or at an extreme level something like alzheimers or epilepsy? Or autism, etc. People who do not suffer from mental issues are in for a rude awakening when they do have that first panic attack.
I have a theory that we are all about 5 minutes away from a complete mental breakdown? take away your family, your money, your health... it can go downhill fast.
Now, someone in mental anguish might not be the best for dating, but it shouldn't be an immediate disqualification? Case by case... use judgement in terms of your own happiness and also SAFETY. | |
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| Dating a person with mental illness scare u?
Posted: 10/15/2009 6:28:15 PM | | For me personally it would depend on whether the person was being treated and following a program. Mental illness can be treated in most cases and if that is the case then why not? If they are not being treated than I would not want to go there as I am not qualified to fix anyone mentally. I am too old to honestly believe that one can fix mental illness with a dose of love and common sense. Can think your diabetes away? | |
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| Dating a person with mental illness scare u?
Posted: 10/15/2009 6:54:58 PM | | As long as they take there meds there good but if they don't take there meds I won't mess with them and I make it a known fact that the need to have there meds with them in case something should happen | |
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| Dating a person with mental illness scare u?
Posted: 10/15/2009 8:53:18 PM | | Another thing that should be kept in mind is the fact that many mental illnesses run in families - that is, they can be passed down to your children... 10% is the typical risk according to genetic counselors. The stigma is still huge, making the problem a lot worse. (If your kid gets a physical disease, there are all kinds of support groups, but if your kid develops a mental illness - it's a very lonely road... And the mental illness often doesn't show up until after puberty or later) | |
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| Dating a person with mental illness scare u?
Posted: 10/15/2009 9:19:02 PM |
Another thing that should be kept in mind is the fact that many mental illnesses run in families
Kept in mind? What exactly are you implying here because it sounds like you just might be suggesting that people with a mental illness should not have children. | |
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| Dating a person with mental illness scare u?
Posted: 10/15/2009 9:30:47 PM | | Sad to say but many people with a mental illness have a hard time in a relationship. There are many side effects with the medication they may not be able to get an erection. Sometimes people with mood disorders are difficult to understand and getalongwith dueto their mood is constantly changing. Also at times they are sexually promiscuos because of their moods. | |
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| Dating a person with mental illness scare u?
Posted: 10/15/2009 9:48:03 PM | | Many mental illnesses are temporarily controlled on medication but when they dont take their medications{ which is usually because they dont like the side effects] These people can get paranoid and dangerous. Many people look everybody else some are very attractive but be careful you could be dating someonewith a mental illness. If they seem hypertalkative and energetic be careful because usually downside to them one to where they may not be able to get out of bed andgo towork. | |
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| Dating a person with mental illness scare u?
Posted: 10/16/2009 12:22:44 AM | As with ANY illness, the sufferer is either part of the problem or they are part of the solution. If they are part of the solution (taking meds, counseling, management) then I will happily date them... if not then I will run for my life!
Normalcy is an illusion. | |
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| Dating a person with mental illness scare u?
Posted: 10/16/2009 12:41:41 AM | | Feck that...I am taking my nunchucks with me on our first date....and be making her do the Rorschach Ink Blot Test disguised as just crazy fun while having coffee. | |
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| Dating a person with mental illness scare u?
Posted: 10/16/2009 12:44:11 AM | One correction to a previous post- Aspergers is NOT a mental illness. I have it, and have been through psych tests. It is not in any way classified as a mental illness.
I am with a man who has several mental "illnesses". He is the nicest, most thoughtful, certainly one of the most intelligent men i have ever come across.
It comes down to how controlled the disorders are. | |
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| Dating a person with mental illness scare u?
Posted: 10/16/2009 1:29:05 AM |
I'm simply not interested in getting involved with someone who has mental illnesses. Hate to burst your bubble, but a well treated, well managed 'mental illness' can be undetectable to a 'lay person'. Unless someone discloses upfront you may never know about it.
In Australia at least, and going on some of the posts here in the US, there is still for the most part a complete lack of education, information and understanding of 'mental illness'. And this leads to very misinformed, pre-conceived attitudes/opinions and judgments made about the area.
For that reason I would advise anyone with a 'mental illness' where they are well aware of it, treating it and managing it NOT to disclose it to someone in the early dating days. And definitely not in a profile or initial online chats.
Now I know I will be burned at the stake for such an heinous suggestion. So let the flaming begin. Won't change my opinion.
Systemic and systematic discrimination of those with mental illness based on ignorance and misinformation is still rampant in society. And the dating/relationships arena is no exception. And whilst the level of ignorance and bigotry remains as high as it is, I would completely understand if someone did not disclose their 'condition' to me unless/until we were truly headed to an actual serious relationship.
And since I will not doubt cop abuse I'm also going to throw in here that there are a large number people on this thread who clearly don't even understand the difference or distinguish between 'mental illness' and an actual genetic/chromosomal/neurological condition.
Maybe you should start your education there......  | |
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| Dating a person with mental illness scare u?
Posted: 10/16/2009 2:11:16 AM | So long as the person was aware of their condition and seeking help, I would want to treat each possible partner on their own merit.
My best friend suffers from mental illness, severe depression, anorexia and some psychosis. She is a loving caring and wonderful person, but she has not often felt able to deal with a serious relationship. Rather than the stereotype of putting upon a partner, she is more likely to withdraw when things are bad. x | |
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| Dating a person with mental illness scare u?
Posted: 10/16/2009 2:29:19 AM | | It depends on the type of illness and its severity. For example, I can't imagine myself in a long term relationship with a woman that suffers from severe depression because i'd feel inadequate and helpless in that situation. I would feel responsible in some way for her sadness instead of just accepting it as a symptom of the illness which would in turn affect the way I acted around her. | |
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