| Dating a person with mental illness scare u?
Posted: 10/16/2009 12:13:15 PM | | I dated a bipolar, bisexual, mixed race male from the bronx. Took my money, took my heart, one rollercoaster and headache rolled into 4 months. Intense, brilliant, complex mind. Cheated on my with his ex. The betrayal was more hurtful then his mental hoops and mines. I ended up with depression for a while. I cant blame him, because I will never know which part of his illness overtook and when, I can only blame myself for being the sane person drawn into his world. If you aren't wise or strong enough to handle those situations, you have been forewarned. Severe do not enter clause. His other ex girlfriends have come out of the woodworks to tell me their sob stories too. | |
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| Dating a person with mental illness scare u?
Posted: 10/16/2009 12:59:25 PM | Speaking as someone that has to drop that bomb on people that I date, I'm understanding if it's not something they can deal with.
My depression, for example, is a form called Situational Depression. Essentially, it means that 90% of the time, I'm a pretty happy-go-lucky, punning comic book nerd who loves exercise, kids and animals. However, there are situations, such as stress with school or something as simple as an insult, that could cause me to doubt myself and plant the seeds for possible down-in-the-dumps, and depression.
When I'm depressed? I assume that everyone hates me, no one wants me around, that I'm a burden to people around me and the world and basically become incredibly closed off. It's the idea of no self esteem taken to the Nth degree. Sometimes, it's been debilitating to the point that I've struggled with school to the point of dropping out (which is why I'm back again, right now).
But contrary to some posters' idea about what it's like to live with it, it doesn't make me a bad person. It sure as hell doesn't mean I can't function in the world. I have some wonderful friends in my life, I'm well respected at my part-time job, been doing well in school (B+ average) and even had some of my short stories published with a possible novel, which is about halfway completed.
With all that said, there ARE people who don't know how to deal with someone that has depression or other mental disorders. They have to understand that it's not a simple matter of "cheering up" or "getting over it". It's a much bigger issue than that, one that takes a lot of hard work (on the person with depression's part, that is), medication, counselling, etc.
It's a disease, just like anything else, and there are ways of dealing and coping with it. It's just as debilitating as physical diseases. I try to tell someone that I'm dating about my Depression sooner, rather than later. If they don't think they can handle it, then they can get out without any feelings hurt. | |
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| Dating a person with mental illness scare u?
Posted: 10/16/2009 1:34:19 PM | I learned alot from dating the bipolar guy, on how to ride the wave of depressions, and how suicidal ideations on which I never acted upon as a child, but seems he had (which I had from a history of abuse) can be overcomed through redirectional throughts and self renewal. I learned alot through his eyes. Im against all type of institutionalized medications, its just my personal belief, but natural therapies.
I learned, but still was unable to cope with him, he was just far along the rabbit hole as his mother kindly stated. I know I have a mild depression problem, because it usually happens after breakups or let downs, but I tend to become a hermit, and when I am ready I come out renewed as if I only had a cold. Its just my way of life. I am more respectful and sensitive to others who have mental illnesses and depressions. But as a person who is constantly working to better herself I dont feel I have to disclose this because everyone has their bad days, just not every day. Everyone has their inner demons they deal with whether an addiction to a game, the internet, food, self indulgences, etc. We are all flawed, so just saying I refuse to date someone with any type of flaw, well good luck being alone. | |
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| Dating a person with mental illness scare u?
Posted: 10/17/2009 5:34:29 PM | | You people are the most uncompassionate, uneducated, and unbelievably stupid bunch of asseholes I have ever come across. You all deserve the looser that would pick any of you for a significant other. Shame on all of you. PATHETIC !!! | |
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| Dating a person with mental illness scare u?
Posted: 10/17/2009 9:16:36 PM | | Legitimate questions and concerns on how to deal with those that are seriously ill is one thing. To lump all people under one "mentally ill" category is ignorant. The garbage I read on this forum is just unbelievable. I have a friend who suffers from schizophrenia and is a harvard grad earning six figures a year. There are people on here so stupid, they probably would'nt even thought that possible. Its taken me four hours to calm down enough to write this follow-up. I hope this wakes some people up. | |
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| Dating a person with mental illness scare u?
Posted: 10/17/2009 9:48:36 PM | | There are way many different forms of mental illness. Some can have seasonal depression, that would be mental illness. I think minor forms and controlled forms, most people would date. Personally I absolutely pray that I never ever have to have anything to do with someone that is not controlled that is bi-polar. Been there done that and burned the bloody tee shirt! | |
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| Dating a person with mental illness scare u?
Posted: 10/17/2009 9:51:44 PM | I have to agree with drewxyz that lumping people under one "mentally ill" category is like equating someone who catches a lot of colds with someone who has cancer or has full-blown aids under the umbrella of "unhealthy". But there have been some thoughtful posts on this thread as well, so don't give up on everyone.
I also agree with the poster that said there are probably a lot of people who could fall into that "category" that have no idea they do. And the posters who realize that every person is unique and it's ridiculous to have a "blanket - one size fits all" mentality.
And, yes, I've know people who have been very successful who were diagnosed with some form or other of what we call mental illness.
We're all human and we probably all suffer from some form of dysfunction - denial and delusions (of grandeur, of inferiority or whatever) - so are we all mentally ill? | |
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| Dating a person with mental illness scare u?
Posted: 10/18/2009 8:12:44 AM | | so who isn't out of his mind....this life is enough to drive anyone crazy....we all get by with the help of our friends....a man who needs me is such a great feeling...anyway...we all get better in time ...so you have that to look forward to... | |
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| Dating a person with mental illness scare u?
Posted: 10/18/2009 8:26:28 AM | Yikes! That would be a deal-breaker for me. I believe the healthier two people are, the greater the chances of them having a successful, supportive, loving relationship will be. There are so many factors that make the whole process challenging. I can't imagine having a mental disorder and having a healthy relationship at the same time. But that's just me.  | |
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| Dating a person with mental illness scare u?
Posted: 10/19/2009 9:44:55 PM | | Hey the truth is the truth . Mental illness is also genetic do you want your future children being a paranoid psychoprenic? I understand it's a sad disease and this is suupposed tobe a dating site. Be careful who you fall in love with. goodluck finding Mr or miss wright is all im sayin | |
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| Dating a person with mental illness scare u?
Posted: 10/19/2009 10:56:59 PM | You people are the most uncompassionate, uneducated, and unbelievably stupid bunch of asseholes I have ever come across. You all deserve the looser that would pick any of you for a significant other. Shame on all of you. PATHETIC !!!
Your kinda lumping everyone in together there are you not hun? I have read several post so far that say they would date someone with a mental illness seeing as mental illnesses are as varied as physical illnesses. Now would I? Sure, but I guess it would depend on the severity of their illness and if they were taking their medication and dealing with it as they should. Having suffered in the past with my last child with really bad post partum depression then I guess at one time I was mentally ill so I would not want someone to hold that against me. It was a very black time in my life but eventually with help and medication I came out of it.
Mental illness is also genetic do you want your future children being a paranoid psychoprenic? I understand it's a sad disease and this is suupposed tobe a dating site. Be careful who you fall in love with. goodluck finding Mr or miss wright is all im sayin
Well seeing as you have this view point then prior to creating any children with anyone then I suggest you get a full detailed background on their families medical histories. Does breast cancer run in their family?diabetes? Parkinson? heart disease? Strokes?Epilepsy? etc... Better be on the safe side and go for genetic counseling to check you both out to see if you carry and genetic conditions. | |
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| Dating a person with mental illness scare u?
Posted: 10/19/2009 11:26:06 PM | It would take someone with ALOT of patience to date someone with mental illness.
My younger brother has Schizophrenia--it is like he lives a nightmare he cannot escape. He has hallucinations. That Lithium he has to take really messes up his brain.
He is bipolar. Try living life with someone who can be mellow talking to you and 5 minutes later he's throwing a chair at you if he can't get a cigarette.
He cannot have a long term relationship let alone take care of himself.
So in my experience, that would not be someone I could consider. | |
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| Dating a person with mental illness scare u?
Posted: 10/20/2009 6:39:52 AM | The sad fact is that many if not most mentally ill people refuse to acknowledge they have a medical condition and refuse to seek treatment. The people with personality disorders are notorious for this - they can function normally and they appear normal and intelligent if you meet them - but if you live with them, watch out!
Everyone is depressed at one point or another, but it's "situational" and a temporary condition (because of something that happened - death, divorce, unemployment etc). This is different from the kind of depression that's genetic and can lead to suicide.
Everyone is paranoid somewhat - you have to be skeptical to survive, but paranoid schizophrenia is a terrible illness. It also runs in families (a big genome study last year which was done on thousands of people confirmed this genetic linkage- look it up).
People who live with the mentally ill are saints, that's all I have to say. | |
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| Dating a person with mental illness scare u?
Posted: 10/20/2009 6:51:50 AM | | The assumption that persons with mental illness are unhealthy is ignorant. That is like saying all people with blond hair are dumb. There are many healthy people with a genetic mental illness in remission through lifestyle modification and medication. I'd rather be with a self-aware person who knows their flaws, then someone who needs a glass of wine to cope with their stress. | |
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| Dating a person with mental illness scare u?
Posted: 10/20/2009 7:51:49 AM | I wonder how many big-hearted humanitarians on here will "walk the talk" and knowingly marry a mentally ill person.
Yeah, right...
Heck, many people on here reject others on the most superficial and shallow grounds, let alone a medical condition - whether it's physical or mental. | |
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| Dating a person with mental illness scare u?
Posted: 11/5/2009 9:10:23 AM |
You people are the most uncompassionate, uneducated, and unbelievably stupid bunch of asseholes I have ever come across. You all deserve the looser that would pick any of you for a significant other. Shame on all of you. PATHETIC !!!
I sincerely hope you get better someday, Drew. And just for the record, it's, "loser," not, "looser." | |
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| Dating a person with mental illness scare u?
Posted: 11/5/2009 9:12:08 AM |
The assumption that persons with mental illness are unhealthy is ignorant.
Hello? Illness = unhealthy. You can look it up. When the mind/brain is unhealthy, it's a mental illness. | |
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| Dating a person with mental illness scare u?
Posted: 11/5/2009 10:19:58 AM | Msg: 1,
I don't think I would want to date a person with mental illness, because I am scared..
I have choices I would rather date a man with a healthy mind and body.
<div class="quote"> I guess the other question is if* a person with mental illness can truly find success with online dating* when having to eventually disclose before ever actually meeting someone.
Nice try, and tough luck, >> A mentally impaired can not function on day to day's life without the crutches of medicines / help of another person . Because they are weak and sick in the mind ,they baulk on normal challenges of life
If you are sick with flu ,can you think clear,strong enough to function very well on your work and around people??? Of course you'll be in bed, taking your medicine .. | |
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| Dating a person with mental illness scare u?
Posted: 11/5/2009 2:35:40 PM |
Hello? Illness = unhealthy. You can look it up. When the mind/brain is unhealthy, it's a mental illness.
lol. Thanks for proving my point.
Mental illness is a broadly used to term that covers several areas of psychiatric and psychological disorders. A person can have a genetic mental illness which in remission, they will always have the mental illness but not suffer symptoms. Ergo not all persons with a mental illness are unhealthy, to force their illness into remission they would have had to adopt a healthy lifestyle.
Intelligence is more having vocabulary skills since you seem to want to elevate yourself you might want do some research.
A mentally impaired can not function on day to day's life without the crutches of medicines / help of another person . Because they are weak and sick in the mind ,they baulk on normal challenges of life
Seriously? Yes all people with mental illness are the same.
I can't imagine walking through life so rigid in my belief system. I have to snicker because rigid thinking can be a symptom depression or a personality disorder. | |
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