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| That's WHY It's Called Sex Appeal
Posted: 10/21/2009 8:00:36 PM |
Amazing how ;
Comments are taken personally and out of context...(no names, no gender).
Replies made on assumptions = no questions, no communication, no clarification.
What some find humorous...others find offensive...life is funny that way.
Too many panties in a bunch from sitting in front of the computer!
As far as accountability...lies between me an God...period.
Amazing how:
You can throw an insult towards women who are more open and accepting of their own sexuality and then hide behind the ambiguity of your own words, saying how funny it is that anyone responds to it. This will be the last time I feed the zebra troll.
Yes, you are accountable to God for how you treat his other children. | |
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| That's WHY It's Called Sex Appeal
Posted: 10/21/2009 10:44:08 PM |
Don't blame this "date and age" for your or his lack of morals.
Since when is having a healthy, normal libido equivalent to lacking morals?
Not all men expect sexual favors as a part of dating.
Right, most men don't expect sexual "favors." Most men expect sex to be something shared between two people.
With STD's and so many people with extreme personality disorders, sleeping with someone within 30-60 days is not only stupid but dangerous.
My ex and I were having sex within three weeks of being in a relationship and within less than two months of knowing each other. I was also a virgin at the time and she hadn't had sex in over a year, and we used protection.
I defy you to say that we were being stupid or doing anything dangerous.
Your free and easy way of thinking may have been "cool" a generation ago, but these days, sex with the wrong person can cause life-long damage, if not death.
So can getting in a car. The question is whether the rewards are worth the risk and whether sufficient precautions are taken to mitigate the risks. When I get in a car, I have a seat belt, air bags, etc., and when I have sex I use protection such as condoms, etc.
Men who think like you are as common as dirt.
So are women who think they're superior to men just because they are afraid of sex.
Some women are seeking more evolved, intelligent men with stronger character.
Ask my ex what she thinks of my maturity, intelligence, and character and she'll give you glowing reviews. | |
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| That's WHY It's Called Sex Appeal
Posted: 10/21/2009 10:59:45 PM |
My opinion is that any woman who's surprised, and angry that a man who's been wining and dining her for awhile might likely anticipate having sex with her, isn't living in the real world for this date and age.
^^^^Haha...and that's exactly why I don't "date"^^^^^
My opinion: Keep your dinner honey, I ain't for sale. | |
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| That's WHY It's Called Sex Appeal
Posted: 10/21/2009 11:02:41 PM |
My opinion: Keep your dinner honey, I ain't for sale.
Since when does having sex with someone mean you're selling something? What ever happened to the notion that sex is something that two people *share*?
Sex isn't a one-way street. I thought we had gotten over that antiquated notion. | |
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| That's WHY It's Called Sex Appeal
Posted: 10/21/2009 11:18:35 PM |
What ever happened to the notion that sex is something that two people *share*?
Exactly Pirate...therefore being wined and dined should not be seen as a trade-off for sex. | |
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| That's WHY It's Called Sex Appeal
Posted: 10/21/2009 11:28:54 PM |
Exactly Pirate...therefore being wined and dined should not be seen as a trade-off for sex.
I don't see this thread being about wining and dining being considered a "trade-off" for sex so much as it's about women being shocked and angry when they find out the man who's been wining and dining them is, indeed, interested in having sex with them. | |
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| That's WHY It's Called Sex Appeal
Posted: 10/22/2009 2:31:39 AM | " Your free and easy way of thinking may have been "cool" a generation ago, but these days, sex with the wrong person can cause life-long damage, if not death. "
" So can getting in a car. The question is whether the rewards are worth the risk and whether sufficient precautions are taken to mitigate the risks. When I get in a car, I have a seat belt, air bags, etc., and when I have sex I use protection such as condoms, etc. "
Your reply to the woman's statement that you and I quoted above, was much better than mine.
" Men who think like you are as common as dirt. Some women are seeking more evolved, intelligent men with stronger character. "
" Ask my ex what she thinks of my maturity, intelligence, and character and she'll give you glowing reviews. "
Again, your reply was great.
To my knowledge, the woman who made these quoted comments, and I, had never had a previous direct interaction before. Up until the point of her comments that have been quoted here, I had respected her thoughts, and opinions.
The woman who made these comments decided that it was worth it to turn the opportunity into a personal attack on me, by saying that I and other men who think like me are as common as dirt. I am not as common as dirt, and I resent this woman's unwarranted implications and personal attack.
I've had exes who wanted to be my friend after the relationship broke up. And we were. And in almost all of my relationships, the woman wanted to get back together, after we had broken up. THAT speaks for my character.
Finally, I would say that instead of turning my opinion, which is also the opinion of many other men, into a condescending personal attack, this woman should have shown more tact, and more respect for herself, and for me, who she knows nothing about.
And above all, this woman should have shown MORE CLASS. | |
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| That's WHY It's Called Sex Appeal
Posted: 10/22/2009 3:18:59 AM | My opinion is that any woman who's surprised, and angry that a man who's been wining and dining her for awhile might likely anticipate having sex with her, isn't living in the real world for this date and age.
" Don't blame this "date and age" for your or his lack of morals "
Let me get this straight... I state an opinion, based on what I and many, many men might likely anticipate and suddenly I, and other men who happen to think like me have a lack of morals ?
That's news to me, and to those people who know me. You don't know me.
Based on what I might likely anticipate, HOW DARE YOU QUESTION MY MORALS ! | |
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| That's WHY It's Called Sex Appeal
Posted: 10/22/2009 8:08:25 AM | | How dare anyone question the morality of others. That's the entire point. We are adults and there is no reason to not be polite when having a conversation. Agree to disagree. | |
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| That's WHY It's Called Sex Appeal
Posted: 10/22/2009 8:28:59 AM | To my knowledge, the woman who made these quoted comments, and I, had never had a previous direct interaction before. Up until the point of her comments that have been quoted here, I had respected her thoughts, and opinions.
The woman who made these comments decided that it was worth it to turn the opportunity into a personal attack on me, by saying that I and other men who think like me are as common as dirt.
Actually, it's those views that are as common as dirt. There's nothing of any exceptional merit about that attitude. Plenty of people have dismal view of others who don't share the same rigidity.
Finally, I would say that instead of turning my opinion, which is also the opinion of many other men, into a condescending personal attack, this woman should have shown more tact, and more respect for herself, and for me, who she knows nothing about.
People like that are not interested in respecting others who don't live within their narrow guidelines.
That's common as "dirt". | |
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| That's WHY It's Called Sex Appeal
Posted: 10/22/2009 8:52:06 AM | Ahhh...but what kind of dirt?
Clean fill, common fill, gravel, sand, aggregate, concrete chunks, asphalt chunks, river rock, limestone, top soil, flex base?
Isn't good dirt essential for the food we grow? For life itself? What an insult to people and to dirt! I should think that dirt should be revered. Call me as common as dirt. It's where good things come from.
I wonder what her attitudes are as common as?
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| That's WHY It's Called Sex Appeal
Posted: 10/22/2009 8:54:00 AM |
I don't see this thread being about wining and dining being considered a "trade-off" for sex so much as it's about women being shocked and angry when they find out the man who's been wining and dining them is, indeed, interested in having sex with them.
Oh, come on now, do you REALLY think women don't GET that a man doesn't ask a woman out without an interest in sexual intimacy being a significant motivator?
And trust me, it doesn't take too damn long to have 'shock' STOP being part of the reaction.
What women get ANGRY about(and some of it, I'll admit, is their own damn fault),is men who wine and dine and woo, then "fall off the face of the earth" after the first occurrence of,or even DISCUSSION of the horizontal mambo(if the woman's answer is "I'm not quite ready to take that step). THAT is what causes the anger! However, smart women are learning any number of strategies to AVOID anger-provoking incidents.
1. Quits dating/looking for a relationship.
2. Refuses to let a man treat her or do favors for her, be it dinner or helping her patch a leak in her roof.
3. Decides to simply REFUSE to get even remotely hopeful or excited about a man who indicates interest, puts no particular value on an act of intimacy other than the pleasure of the moment; in other words, starts "thinking like a man" when it comes to sexual intercourse,focusing only on the physical pleasure. THIS is where women are apt to dump a guy who isn't well endowed,has performance difficulties, or just doesn't satisfy. HERE'S YOUR EQUALITY,GENTLEMEN. Women rejecting even good men,based on appearance and sexual performance. You don't like women being shocked and/or angry when she finds out it was all about the weiner?
Do you REALLY prefer that she takes a "what's the big deal, it's JUST SEX..." mindset? Would you like to wine and dine a woman, share a session of sexual interourse, and then have her quit taking YOUR calls? Keep on using "dating" as a smokescreen to get the nookie and run, and eventually only men who are sexually exceptional will be able to obtain and maintain a 'relationship'. And it will be because women have learned to shut down their hearts and seize the sexual moment,just like men do.
At this point in time, this has not yet become a mainstream female mindset. But I do think there's a groundswell, particularly among women who are done with, or disinterested in, procreation. And I mean no disrespect to the honorable men who have a healthy interest in sex/physical affection,but haven't taken up the "it's all about the weiner" banner. I hope you don't get left in the ditch hunting for your doors when women have learned to separate their sexual organs from their emotions,as so many men seem to be saying they should do.
Cindy O | |
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| That's WHY It's Called Sex Appeal
Posted: 10/22/2009 9:52:01 AM | No, it simply presents the OPPOSITE of the alleged "shock and anger" the OP claims women express when a guy who has been dating her wants sex. I'm suggesting that it's not the 'wanting sex' that shocks/angers, it's some of the behaviors that surround it. Pressuring/arguing/debating/spin...or the "disappearing act" after sexual intercourse occurs. And I'm not buying that the 'disappearing act' is always a result of "bad sex". My ass! I'm not discounting it entirely, and I'd like to point out that women too might cease contact or dump a guy because of 'bad sex',but I don't think it's a huge factor in all the "hit and run" sexual encounters that happen.
Interesting that a suggestion that women could learn to "flip the script" gets called 'pouty'.
Cindy O | |
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| That's WHY It's Called Sex Appeal
Posted: 10/22/2009 11:50:44 AM | OP, overall I agree with your point, but you can't put all the blame on women here either. If a man is continuously "wining and dining" a woman and not getting what he wants out of it, it's essentially his fault. You don't continue to invest in something you're not getting a return on. If you want sex and she's not putting out, drop her and move on to somebody who will.
Personally, I think the time frame of a month or two is extremely generous. Typically if she's still putting up stop signs by the end of date 3 or 4, I don't call her again. No point in wasting my time or hers on something that we're obviously not on the same page about.
If a woman has been dating a man for a couple of months, with the thought that they may develop a relationship, just to find out he was only interested in a little nookie of course she may get offended. On the other hand, if a man gets upset because his intended mattress mate blocks his attempt at a field goal, it just shows that he does not respect her. Such displays tend to prove he was only interested in having sex, not in having a relationship.
Sorry, but this is bullshit. If a woman has decided to assume that dating a man will lead to a relationship, she is no less presumptuous than a man who assumes dating a woman will lead to sex. There is a lot of guilt that gets put on guys for wanting sex out of a dating scenario when the woman wants something else, but none of that guilt is applied to women who want a relationship out of the same scenario when the guy wants something else.
Double standard.
Unless the man has told the woman he's looking for a relationship, she is responsible for her assumptions of the scenario going there. It doesn't make him selfish, disrespectful, or a bad person for wanting something else.
Finally, I would say that instead of turning my opinion, which is also the opinion of many other men, into a condescending personal attack, this woman should have shown more tact, and more respect for herself, and for me, who she knows nothing about.
And above all, this woman should have shown MORE CLASS.
Don't let things like this get to you. They're not really a big deal. You can usually tell a lot about people by reading between the lines in what they say. If you listen less to the words and more to the attitude, people tell you exactly who they are.
For example, in this specific instance, I've read enough of this person's posts over time to develop what I believe to be a rather accurate composite personality sketch. She never posts anything optimistic or happy. It's always negative, judgmental, and condescending. This says a lot more about her than it does about you or what you've posted in this thread.
A lot of the loony political nuts on here are the same way. If you listen to the attitude rather than the words, it becomes obvious why most of these people were angry to begin with and latched onto politics as a justification for that anger, not the other way around. | |
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| That's WHY It's Called Sex Appeal
Posted: 10/22/2009 12:06:52 PM | " For example, in this specific instance, I've read enough of this person's posts over time to develop what I believe to be a rather accurate composite personality sketch. She never posts anything optimistic or happy. It's always negative, judgmental, and condescending. This says a lot more about her than it does about you or what you've posted in this thread. "
For clarification, and because the post in question was over 300 posts ago on this thread, I'll repeat Landra's Post in this thread:
I stated in my original post on this thread, and Landra copied and pasted : My opinion is that any woman who's surprised, and angry that a man who's been wining and dining her for awhile might likely anticipate having sex with her, isn't living in the real world for this date and age.
Landra replied, "Don't blame this "date and age" for your or his lack of morals. Not all men expect sexual favors as a part of dating. With STD's and so many people with extreme personality disorders, sleeping with someone within 30-60 days is not only stupid but dangerous.
Your free and easy way of thinking may have been "cool" a generation ago, but these days, sex with the wrong person can cause life-long damage, if not death. Men who think like you are as common as dirt. Some women are seeking more evolved, intelligent men with stronger character. "
Raphael, after reading Landra's reply to me, I lost all respect for her, and had no desire to read her other posts. I had previously suspected that what you just said, would indeed accurately describe her track record.
Thanks for your observations, and your thoughtful post. | |
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| That's WHY It's Called Sex Appeal
Posted: 10/22/2009 12:32:44 PM | | I rather enjoyed the dirt comments... you forgot the fav southern pass time though... MUDDING! How about mud wrestling?...... | |
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| That's WHY It's Called Sex Appeal
Posted: 10/22/2009 12:41:46 PM | " I rather enjoyed the dirt comments... you forgot the fav southern pass time though... MUDDING! How about mud wrestling?...... "
MARGO ! You're a good looking, intelligent woman with a good physique. Mentioning MUD WRESTLING might make men think that you LIKE it, and might ENJOY participating in it.
Do you want thousands of E mails from men who somehow make this assumption ? LOL
Margo, say it isn't so! LOL I can almost see a line from Margo's front door, all the way to the Mountains of Western N C lol | |
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| That's WHY It's Called Sex Appeal
Posted: 10/22/2009 1:01:01 PM |
Landra replied, "Don't blame this "date and age" for your or his lack of morals. Not all men expect sexual favors as a part of dating. With STD's and so many people with extreme personality disorders, sleeping with someone within 30-60 days is not only stupid but dangerous.
Your free and easy way of thinking may have been "cool" a generation ago, but these days, sex with the wrong person can cause life-long damage, if not death. Men who think like you are as common as dirt. Some women are seeking more evolved, intelligent men with stronger character. "
I'm sorry...I'll grant that the lady calls a spade a spade, but I don't see what's "classless" or "tactless" about it.
Speaking for myself, I don' know where you are getting that women are "surprised" and/or 'angry' about men who've been dating them wanting sex. Women very well might be surprised and/or angry if the guy starts getting grabby and tells her " "C'mon! I've spent ---dollars on entertaining you"! What SURPRISES her in this scenario is that the guy didn't just go hire a hooker, or pick up a Saturday night barstar. What may surprise/ shock / anger her is his "entitlement mentality."
Whomever it is you have 'lost respect for', has pointed out some very real and serious issues that can occur when a woman does not employ forethought ,self control and street smarts in her dating and sex life.
To sum up;
We are NOT suprised, shocked, angry, pissed off,irritated,ticked off, it doesn't chap our asses,that a man dates a woman because he wants sex. These emotions and feelings occur when a man we THOUGHT was a grownup has a temper tantrum, tries to send us on a guilt trip, threatens(not so much with violence as with being 'dumped', or as one poster suggested, leaving her to walk home. Here's a news flash for that poster( whom I'm giving benefit of doubt, that he was kidding,but lets address it literally anyway) if a woman DID allow sex under the threat of being abandoned in a dangerous neighborhood, way out in the country, or very inclement weather, I suspect that she could, if she so chose, make out a damn good "date rape" case. Nothing like letting your weiner land your ass in jail.
Ah well.Why do I even bother trying to suggest a different viewpoint to men who are (mostly) wanting to believe that most women are stupid, hate sex, and only date to get out of the house/get free meals. I'm trying to maintain a positive outlook that most men think better of women than that. But it could be that these men either aren't using internet dating sites,or are men who DID GET THE MEMO, that internet dating sites are no longer(if they ever WERE) cyber pickup joints full of desperate women who can be easily persuaded out of their panties.
Most women are looking for a meaningful relationship,that involves friendship,companionship and a degree of dependability,even if it doesn't become marriage or longterm committment. They DO have an interest in having sex with this man,but they want it to be a mutual decision and just part of the whole picture,not the main/only event. Maybe women make a mistake when they presume that men UNDERSTAND that. I doubt very much that many women are surprised, shocked or angry about a suitor wanting to have sex. What they are probably surprised, shocked and angry about is that men 'vanish' when she says "I'm not quite ready for that step",or worse, she's a willing,even eager participant, and then is considered to be a 'lesser quality woman' because of it. Or when she discovers that a one off sexual release with a live woman was the whole point of his 'courtship'.
I for one would be much more apt to be surprised, shocked, angry if a man dated me and DIDN'T want sex. That's NOT as unlikely as it sounds...lots of women my age have encountered men who are looking for nurses and purses.
Cindy O | |
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| That's WHY It's Called Sex Appeal
Posted: 10/22/2009 1:25:56 PM | That's so funny it's so good to me! I'll roll around in the mud...
Just so long as I have company washing it off... I'm a dirty girl after all...
I need to get my mind out of my own gutter cause there just isn't any room left! | |
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| That's WHY It's Called Sex Appeal
Posted: 10/22/2009 1:31:54 PM |
Most women are looking for a meaningful relationship,that involves friendship,companionship and a degree of dependability,even if it doesn't become marriage or longterm committment.
So are most men, otherwise you wouldn't have so many of them complaining about women in other areas not related to sex. Sex appeal goes way down the tubes when either sex has exagerated generalized views of the other and are more concerned about comforming with certain sexual gender expectations, rather than actually communicating with the person they are with, which more often takes more time than a single dinner date or three. I'm not saying a person can't want or can't have great sex even from a one night stand or that because you have it on a first date that you can't go on to have a fulfilling relationshp...but that's all it is when it's immediate: having sex and a chemical high. You might as well meet in a pitch black room and bump bodies and know nothing of the workings of the mind of the other. That's likely a fantasy of some or even many but it's not really condusive to anything that's likely to be long term, if long term is what you're ultimately after. | |
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| That's WHY It's Called Sex Appeal
Posted: 10/22/2009 5:48:57 PM | " That's so funny it's so good to me! I'll roll around in the mud...
Just so long as I have company washing it off... I'm a dirty girl after all..."
Margo, surely, you KNOW that's many a man's dream come true! And come to think of it, I don't recall MUD WRESTLING on anyone's profile. YET.
Then again, we could ask PiggyT, who is a self proclaimed PIG. Piggy would likely know about it. Piggy, share with us your thoughts and experience with MUD ? | |
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