| | At this age, are we still wearing blinders or do we really want the truth?Page 3 of 3 (1, 2, 3) | Just for argument's sake, MissMewsic, say you were connecting with a man, on here, through emails, and he said you were special and he was really into you, indicated, essentially, that this was the beginning of something important. And you liked him a lot. And he told you he was not interested in any one else.
I would question his sanity in being so sure of someone he has never met in person. I would tell him it's wonderful that he felt that way, but I need to know a lot more about him and spend a lot more time eye to eye with someone before I feel the same. I'd basically take a wait and see attitude - time will tell, and not get too caught up. I'd call his bluff and ask "When are we going out?" "When will we spend some time together so I can get to know you?"
Then a friend of yours, also on here, learns that this guy is a sort of serial online emailer. Actually talks to other women, more than one at a time, and tells them pretty much the same stuff. Would you want your friend to tell you?
I would thank them for the heads up, but at this time I have no commitment with him.
It would also tell me he is not honest (like I already suspected) and I would sit back and watch him make a fool of himself. I know most people who lie, will also lie when confronted so I won't bother talking to him about it. I'll just marginalize him till he goes away. Sincerity can only be faked for so long. I don't have to be rude or confrontational, but they will figure out very quickly that I am not buying what they have to sell me. | |
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| At this age, are we still wearing blinders or do we really want the truth?
Posted: 10/17/2009 12:02:40 PM | | On the same lines...what if you found out that the man said in his profile that he was divorced (he's not) and that he's 11 years older than his listed age - do you notify your friend? Do you report him to POF? Or just let your friend (and others) find out for themselves? | |
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Selima
| | Joined: 3/28/2009
Msg: 52 | |
| At this age, are we still wearing blinders or do we really want the truth?
Posted: 10/17/2009 12:08:30 PM | On the same lines...what if you found out that the man said in his profile that he was divorced (he's not) and that he's 11 years older than his listed age - do you notify your friend? Do you report him to POF? Or just let your friend (and others) find out for themselves? Yes, I think this is what the OP is getting at.
MSG 50: okay, MM, you are too savy to be drawn into what a guy like this would do, but in my hypothetical scenario, you are drawn in (suspend reality) and caught up in it. Would you want your other online friend to warn you about him? Because I think this is what the OP is getting at. Do people want the truth when they would prefer to believe in someone's lies? | |
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| At this age, are we still wearing blinders or do we really want the truth?
Posted: 10/17/2009 12:09:24 PM | Me to you,,,
Out of curiousity, how does your man friend feel about you turning on him???
Your response,,,
My man loves me, we are engaged. Thank you.
You can't be serious,,,
I'm referring to the guy you reported to your friend,,,
My take on those that aren't answering the direct question is they themselves don't ever date, so they can't answer the question.
I have to wonder if this man in your life is imaginary,,, lol
Reverend,,, | |
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| At this age, are we still wearing blinders or do we really want the truth?
Posted: 10/17/2009 12:35:00 PM | Personally I want to know the truth.
I dated a guy a couple years ago that I really liked. When others started telling me about his dating habits ect I chose to believe the guy and give him the benefit of the doubt and I got burned, big time...
Never again, eyes wide open | |
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| At this age, are we still wearing blinders or do we really want the truth?
Posted: 10/17/2009 12:45:47 PM | Just this once, I didn't read all the other responses. Will do after I'm done with my two sense.
I try not to judge people as a rule of thumb. It has nothing to do with wearing blinders. I'll decide for myself whether a person is honest, upfront and someone I can trust.
You can't get inside another person's head, or know all they've experienced in their lives that gets them to the place they're at. Third party interference whether well intended or not would not change my mind about someone's character. My relationship with another person is mine and theirs. I'm fairly astute, and would appreciate that my associates would grant me my fine tuned radar.
Blinders are apparatus we put on horses to protect them from themselves. They see things ten times bigger than they are...interesting... | |
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| At this age, are we still wearing blinders or do we really want the truth?
Posted: 10/17/2009 12:51:17 PM | To OP: Just taking a break from moving a pile of landscaping stones my neighbour gave me and decided to take another kick at the can. Are you in fact approaching this dilemma from a Situational Ethics viewpoint? I did another internet search and came up with the website below.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Situational_ethics Being consciously aware of your (implicit) approach may help in reaching a conclusion. Now, back to my rock pile!! | |
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aaamm
| | Joined: 7/5/2009
Msg: 57 | |
| At this age, are we still wearing blinders or do we really want the truth?
Posted: 10/17/2009 1:18:57 PM | No ethos or pathos, but perhaps logos from the person that is dating someone that is telling others he loves them or are going to be stood up by the so called man of their dreams. Yup, that is the OP. Do you want blinders on or do you want the truth?
My observation is that not everyone wants or can handle the truth even at this age. | |
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| At this age, are we still wearing blinders or do we really want the truth?
Posted: 10/17/2009 1:34:32 PM | --we are all at our own place of learnin' and livin' here...that place is unique
to to each of us, depending on about a bazillion different circumstances, and I admit
to being surprised at the folks I've known who are much more comfortable
preTENDing to be connected to their SO, than actually exploring true intimacy. It's
terribly sad to me....but their journey just ain't my business, and I try to honor THEIR journey by trusting them to handle it. I try REALLLLy hard to listen to the folks I care for to hear if they are asking for my advice or just needing to share their experience.
--Now, that being said...I have 4 sisters....if you're a man & you're messin' with my sister and someone's dodgin' the hard facts....I'm for sure gonna hop on my big ole roarin' black bus and DEliver the facts lickety split. Don't mess with my sisters ! | |
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My I
| | Joined: 1/23/2007
Msg: 59 | |
| At this age, are we still wearing blinders or do we really want the truth?
Posted: 10/17/2009 1:37:56 PM |
My observation is that not everyone wants or can handle the truth even at this age
Why didn't you say that as opposed to babbling on about your friends in a love triangle? From this thread, it's kind of apparent you've placed yourself on a pedestal.... you're asuming the woman closed her account because she didn't want to hear the truth from you.That's an arrogant position to take.
Personally, I think you're a busy body who mettles in others' lives. Yet, when you're told that, you put your blinders on.
Ironic, isn't it? | |
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| At this age, are we still wearing blinders or do we really want the truth?
Posted: 10/17/2009 1:44:34 PM |
My observation is that not everyone wants or can handle the truth even at this age.
It's not a matter of wanting, not wanting, or being able/not able to handle the truth. It's more of a 'what is your truth' thing. There is no one single truth that is one-size-fits-all. My truth may not be your truth. It's a matter of personal ethics. | |
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| At this age, are we still wearing blinders or do we really want the truth?
Posted: 10/17/2009 1:49:56 PM | Isn't that called butting in or gossip?
I wouldn't get in the middle of people like that, internet or not.
if people haven't met in person, it doesn't count - period.
Amen.
I will agree people do NOT want the truth. But if they don't ask, don't get in the drama.
If they do , say you rather not be in the drama. End. | |
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| At this age, are we still wearing blinders or do we really want the truth?
Posted: 10/17/2009 1:55:08 PM | Petunias, we're pals here. If I told you some PoF guy was chatting me up here and you knew he was also chatting up another of your pals, wouldn't you tell me?
If you knew I was getting really involved..putting a lot of hope into it.
Even if you chose not to, it would be a hard decision, imo.
Even if I got the message from some random poster, it would make me ask questions. Not necessarily a bad thing. Knowledge is power. | |
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| At this age, are we still wearing blinders or do we really want the truth?
Posted: 10/17/2009 2:10:26 PM | Oh FFS!! Sorry, I just had to say that - Theres a fine line between knowing something and knowing something that you should pass on. I guess it's a fielders choice on how to proceed, but I tend to stay on the outside unless I know the other person is going to come to some physical harm. Why you ask? Because, invariably, however helpful you started out wanting to be... you either get drug into the middle, or they actually blame you for ruining their blissfully unaware situation.
I know.. it makes no sense. But in matters of George Bush or Love, it rarely does.
Bluez | |
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| At this age, are we still wearing blinders or do we really want the truth?
Posted: 10/17/2009 2:15:02 PM | Oh my friend FFS.
I had a dear friend who loved a man she lived with and he was my husbands friend.
I heard them (the men) talking one night . Her lover/live in had a woman he planned on marrying in another state and sent her money while my friend paid half of all their expenses. I was mortified and told her.
She never spoke to me again and stayed with him. I think internet may be a bit different, but I was so hurt by her.
Knowing you would want to know. I would.
Emphasis on you are the" type of woman who wants to know" and I know know that.
I am the "type that would want to know".
Most people do not. Such a thing I try not to get involved in unless I really am sure.
 Petunia | |
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aaamm
| | Joined: 7/5/2009
Msg: 65 | |
| At this age, are we still wearing blinders or do we really want the truth?
Posted: 10/17/2009 2:21:57 PM |
Why didn't you say that as opposed to babbling on about your friends in a love triangle? Instead of projecting your lack of intelligence here, how about you read what my OP said. I wanted to know and now with the responses I am receiving, I believe that many people don't wish to know, can't answer the OP because they can't get dates so they are clueless as to what this is like, or actually get what I am asking and would like their friend to help them out. Obviously when I wrote OP I hadn't come to this conclusion. I also didn't realize how people must really do horrible things for them to project them on to me. Please take your mirrors down and ignore this thread because you aren't responding to the OP...
Please do read the are you a backup thread because I have clearly stated that I don't think emailing anyone makes for a relationship, but some have made relationships with those they email and speak with on the phone, there is a beautiful woman on these threads that has an ldr and she fell in love via this method. Email relationships doesn't have anything to do with the OP. Again the OP is about a man or woman you may go out with or are seeing and something such as they are telling many women the same thing or are going to stand you up as hypotheticals to explain my meaning of would you want to know. | |
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| At this age, are we still wearing blinders or do we really want the truth?
Posted: 4/6/2012 11:06:55 PM | I (personally) do not think that is not wanting to know the truth. It is just that when it is something negative being told by and ex or a friend of an ex we tend to think they are just scorned because things did not work out.
My ex-husband's- ex-wife tried to warn me but, because I was in-love I did not believe her. It took years before the deepest ugliest truth came full circle. | |
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