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| A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?
Posted: 11/13/2009 4:11:55 PM | I recounted to my bf that there is this crazy-ass thread about "sex by the 3rd date" rule on POF...and he nodded in agreement, saying, yeah, I had a 3rd date rule.
!!!!
WTF!!!!
Our 3rd date was a long weekend, during which I met his father, his sister, and lots of his friends. I wasn't aware that there was a timetable. His explanation, very matter of fact, similar to one of the poster's, was that if the chemistry was there (and it was) that he would see no reason for there not to be sex by the 3rd date. If there was no chemistry, we wouldn't still be dating. I still feel a little miffed, but he says that he would have waited for me.
harrumph
so I am guessing that most guys/gals with the timetable aren't telling the people they're dating about their 3rd date rules.... | |
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| A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?
Posted: 11/13/2009 4:45:51 PM | This is interesting.
On the flip side, I met a guy from POF and we spoke by phone for about a week before we met in person. I live about 36 miles from him (1+ hour in bad traffic),
and we went out to dinner about 3 weeks straight and a movie on the fourth.
Things were going well and easy. Easy.
On our first date, he mentioned he was used to having sex by now. (WHAT?!)
I'm thinking this guy is S*X DRIVEN. (WTH?!)
I liked him enough to get to know him but I carefully expressed that I wasn't looking for a casual sexual relationship. For me, sex is part of a meaningful committed relationship. I would really prefer to be in love and the person in love with me, it makes it more pleasurable for us.
I asked him around our second date if he wanted to call things off due to distance and if not having sex was still an issue or could he handle some form of intimacy without sex. He said he wanted to keep trying and he still wanted some form of intimacy with me. He could handle it.
Well, he want along with this for about 3 weeks (4 dates). We fooled around but never went all the way. On the fourth date he asked me to be his woman. But prior to this on the same day he mentioned that not having sex was harder than he thought he was going to be.
I didn't respond to either question/statement but two days later he called out of the blue to call things off saying that his feelings had intensified, he liked me a lot, enjoyed spending time with me and cared about me but he wanted to be able to see me more than 2x a week and couldnt due to his work schedule and distance (which I asked him about before we met BTW) and that he didnt want to sound like a PIG but he didnt share my belief about waiting to have sex because he had no idea when I would fall in love with him. LOL
So, he was unhappy because of no sex but was happy with me. LOL It was the strangest thing I have heard until I read this thread.
It seems like not everyone wants a meaningful relationship these days.
I wonder why they are still looking when sex is so freely abundant these days?
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| A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?
Posted: 11/13/2009 6:06:51 PM |
So, he was unhappy because of no sex but was happy with me. LOL It was the strangest thing I have heard until I read this thread.
Well, at least you sorted it out pretty quick and he was pretty honest about it...
If I'm happy spending time with the woman, I don't see it as WAITING.... I just enjoy the time with her.... If it's only about waiting for sex, there's not going to be much of a relationship there. Maybe I'm weird, but I enjoy going out... I like to go out to bars, or for dinner, or movies... My G/F and I still "date'. She dresses up, we go to dinner, go dancing... I enjoy it as much, if not more than her...To me the date is fun or I wouldn't even bother.... | |
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| A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?
Posted: 11/13/2009 6:20:19 PM | | Yes it does. As far as dating i still like to get dressed up and go out. My bo and I went out for sushi our last date. We enjoy each others time, talking and cuddling. It's not just about the sex but it is a priority for me and I admit it. If that is wasting time for some men out here in internet land so be it. I'm at the place in life where I have the luxury of expressing myself sexually without the concerns of raising two daughters. They are married. I've lived my dreams, met my goals, and it's time for me. So I'm a horn kitty. I say OOPPSS while I bang a great lover... | |
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| A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?
Posted: 11/14/2009 5:52:34 PM | m church,
I agree with you. I wouldn't consider it as waiting either especially if I were enjoying spending time with the person. BUT according to his mentality, the more he enjoyed spending time with me the more his feelings intensified and the more he wanted sex.
Go figure. I think/feel though, he was sex driven. I do appreciate his honesty and I've met guys who share my beliefs since then which is great. | |
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| A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?
Posted: 11/14/2009 7:08:07 PM | " Yes it does. As far as dating i still like to get dressed up and go out. My bo and I went out for sushi our last date. We enjoy each others time, talking and cuddling. It's not just about the sex but it is a priority for me and I admit it. If that is wasting time for some men out here in internet land so be it. I'm at the place in life where I have the luxury of expressing myself sexually without the concerns of raising two daughters. They are married. I've lived my dreams, met my goals, and it's time for me. So I'm a horn kitty. I say OOPPSS while I bang a great lover..."
I think that you're An American Original! : )
And there's probably no secret as to WHO inspired te idea for this Thread : ) ( Starts with M , and ends in Cole Slaw LOL )
I think that anticipating or expecting sex on a 3 rd or whatever numbered date, or whenever it happens, where both partners feel comfy with the issue of sex, is about getting one's needs met. That's assuming that a healthy sexual relationship is part of a person's/and/ or the couple's healthy needs. | |
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| A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?
Posted: 11/14/2009 7:16:50 PM | Some people call their cars names such as Betsy, etc... So,
" If she expects to be serviced on or before the third date, she should so state at the outset, thereby enabling one to avoid wasting ANY time with her."
Serviced, as in a Maytag Washing Machine ?
People sometimes can and DO change their minds about when they are open to having sex. Some people have sex before the 3 rd date rule that some people anticipate, or EXPECT, who never thought that they would with a new partner.
I'm gonna look at the Factory Recommended SERVICE Schedule on my washing machine. I don't want to be missing out on something good! LOL | |
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| A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?
Posted: 11/14/2009 9:54:35 PM |
Wow, I'd hate to be a man on a date with somw of you women. Grow up people, esp. women. I hate this about my gender. Look if the feeling and chemistry is right why not? 1st date, 2nd date or even 16th date, does it really matter??? Sex is not a bad thing in fact it's really, really good! As long as it's consentual and both people are on the same page wht does it hurt? Damn people not every ejaculation deserves a name! lol
(except I'd have spelled it consensual ;-) | |
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| A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?
Posted: 11/14/2009 10:30:42 PM | | Reading the responses in this thread, I'm starting to feel like I'm from another planet--while everyone is talking about whether or not sex should be REQUIRED by the third date, I'm wondering how it could even be within the realm of possibility. No magical timelines or artificial structures like some have objected to involved in that--I just don't think you know anything about a person after just a couple of dates, and you surely don't have any kind of intimate relationship/trust/closeness built up. | |
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| A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?
Posted: 11/15/2009 10:45:25 AM | That's the whole point. You don't have any kind of relationship EXCEPT sexual and it goes from there. Some people in the world want to know if the MAYTAG works right before they put it in there laundry room!!!
Hopefully it's a little off balance and vibrates just right... Or the step stool is at a perfect height... OK OK... I'll get out of my own gutter again darn it it's too crowded anyway. | |
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| A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?
Posted: 11/15/2009 1:23:34 PM |
You don't have any kind of relationship EXCEPT sexual and it goes from there. Some people in the world want to know if the MAYTAG works right before they put it in there laundry room!!!
So then, if the "Maytag works" sexually, that's more important than things like character, whether or not a person is interesting to spend time with, etc? I definitely agree with the concept of needing to know the important stuff before "buying", but in my mind there are many things more important than sexual prowess. Any two adults (assuming good health) who are intimate and committed to one another can learn to adapt to one another sexually--you can't adapt (or at least I can't) to a person being a liar or lacking intellectual curiosity or being indifferent to the welfare of other humans. | |
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| A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?
Posted: 11/15/2009 1:51:33 PM | If someone who I thought MIGHT be a compatible woman told me up front, or thru writing a post, that if first or second date sex with me had not occurred, that there wouldn't be a 3 rd date, I'd be VERY uncomfortable.
Welcome to the womens experience to online dating. | |
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| A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?
Posted: 11/15/2009 4:50:31 PM | If someone who I thought MIGHT be a compatible woman told me up front, or thru writing a post, that if first or second date sex with me had not occurred, that there wouldn't be a 3 rd date, I'd be VERY uncomfortable.
"Welcome to the womens experience to online dating. "
It should be more widely understood and accepted that women DO face this type of treatment in the world, outside of POF, and other dating sites without aHARMONY lol
I wish that men treated women with more respect and understanding. And I wish that women treated men with more respect and understanding.
Some of the best words ever spoken, " Can't we all just get along ? " | |
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| A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?
Posted: 11/16/2009 6:32:28 AM | Ok sex is sex, if that is what you are looking for I see no problem in that as long as all involved are aware!!
Maybe it is because of my age but I want to make love pretty early in the relationship! For me you can have everything in common but if the sexual attraction is not there, you are friends! Waiting till 8-10 dates is a big waste of my time to find my soul mate!As there are some guys that do not have a clue how to please a women and have no intention in learning!! This can become very frustrating, and ruin even the friendship!
Is it not what most guys are looking for a warm senual women who is confident knows what she wants and goes for it! Go for it margo64 good on you!! | |
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| A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?
Posted: 11/16/2009 7:12:27 AM |
Maybe it is because of my age but I want to make love pretty early in the relationship! For me you can have everything in common but if the sexual attraction is not there, you are friends!
Maybe it's because I spent so many years generating that sexual attraction, that 'chemistry' just to get some woman into bed on the first date that I see it as just so much nonsense... Sure chemistry does exist... but not the first night... or the first few... unless it's C2H5OH. | |
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| A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?
Posted: 11/16/2009 7:20:29 AM | Imagine how I felt when a guy from another site refused to even meet me, because I had made it very clear he wasn't getting a BJ on our first meeting!! We had chatted for quite some time, and found we had quite a bit in common. We had made a plan to meet the following week, to go for a walk together. He said he was looking for "THE ONE".
I suppose his style was like more like a porn version of Cinderella. "THE ONE" would be the woman who gave him the most mind blowing BJ he had ever experienced. He would recognize "THE ONE", because of the perfect fit of his Pen#% in her mouth, moments after they first gazed into one anothers eyes... (insert sound of broken movie reel right here)
I was very grateful that he let me know his modus operandi before I actually went to meet him. NEXT!!!
(way beyond not kissing on the first date, or sex on date 3, don't you think?! lol) | |
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| A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?
Posted: 11/16/2009 7:29:03 AM | " I suppose his style was like more like a porn version of Cinderella. "THE ONE" would be the woman who gave him the most mind blowing BJ he had ever experienced. He would recognize "THE ONE", because of the perfect fit of his Pen#% in her mouth, moments after they first gazed into one anothers eyes... (insert sound of broken movie reel right here)
I was very grateful that he let me know his modus operandi before I actually went to meet him. NEXT!!!
(way beyond not kissing on the first date, or sex on date 3, don't you think?! lol) "
WOW!
Talk about EXPECTING sex by the end of the 3 rd date... you were EXPECTED to perform, and be rated as a trained Seal before the end of the FIRST date!
Did he expect you to call him SIR ? You probably would have discovered that he had insecurity issues, that were covered up by his superiority issues. And better that you found out before you had the worst date of your life. | |
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