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| | A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?Page 20 of 20 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20) | | I would think that is nonsense. There are no numbers that are appropriate to this. But also there should be no prejudging if it is the first. It is how you feel, what you choose and when you choose to be intimate. No numbers are approriate. I was told not to long ago from a guy he didnt call because he had been told that he had to wait a certain "number" of days. I said that is just silly. Be who you are, dont play games. Call if you want to or don't call if you don't want to. Just be 'real' stop the games people. | |
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| A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?
Posted: 4/13/2012 3:29:37 AM |
d2327h: I just had my 3rd date with an awesome guy and everything was going great including the goodnight kiss when he suggested we get together over the weekend and hinted at having sex. I just kind of smiled because....what DO you say? lol At that point he says, "Do you have a 5 date rule or something?"
I have no rules or timetables and it usually happens when it happens, and I told him that. I really liked him but now i feel all creepy like there is some kind of expectation of sex which, for me, ruins the romantic part of it. Now it's an appointment--that I haven't scheduled with him. lol
Oh well!
Whether you admit it or nor, you were already starting to put that guy in the 'friendzone'. If you didn't want to rip his clothes off and do it in the hallway, you weren't feeling it at all. LOL back at you. | |
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| A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?
Posted: 4/13/2012 4:07:32 AM | " d2327h: I just had my 3rd date with an awesome guy and everything was going great including the goodnight kiss when he suggested we get together over the weekend and hinted at having sex. I just kind of smiled because....what DO you say? lol At that point he says, "Do you have a 5 date rule or something?"
I have no rules or timetables and it usually happens when it happens, and I told him that. I really liked him but now i feel all creepy like there is some kind of expectation of sex which, for me, ruins the romantic part of it. Now it's an appointment--that I haven't scheduled with him. lol
Oh well! "
The key word here is that he SUGGESTED. He made a suggestion, which is not the same as stating that he was EXPECTING. Yes, you can FEEL that he was expecting, but you STATE that he SUGGESTED. Which is it ?
If after 3 dates, and an enjoyable good night kiss, he HINTED/SUGGESTED at having sex, you have the option to tell him that you aren't yet ready for that to happen. He made a suggestion, not a demand.
Face it, if he had NO sexual interest in you after 3 dates, would you have gone out with him ? He DID have a sexual interest in you, and he was a Gentleman about verbally expressing it, in my eyes, because he JINTED/SUGGESTED , and he did not make any octopus moves on you, according to what seems apparent from what you wrote.
If your comfort zone and his are different, due to differences in timing, be mature and respectful to him, as I believe that he was to you, and TALK ABOUT IT WITH HIM. | |
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| A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?
Posted: 4/13/2012 4:30:07 AM | Correction:
He DID have a sexual interest in you, and he was a Gentleman about verbally expressing it, in my eyes, because he HINTED/SUGGESTED , and he did not make any octopus moves on you, according to what seems apparent from what you wrote.
I wasn't there to hear the conversation , nor witness how deeply involved the kiss and physical contact were, nor the tones of the conversation itself.
I'm not sure that your simply smiling after he made his hint/suggestion, was in the best taste, nor am I sure that his statement/question was in the best taste, when he said to the effect of...do you have a 5 date rule, or something ?
There may have been a misunderstanding of what you were each ready for, and what you each perceived the other as being ready for. There aren't any victims here, unless you are making him out to be the Persecutor; even then, I say this is more about you than his respectful hinting/suggesting. | |
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Jsana
| | Joined: 4/6/2012
Msg: 479 | |
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| A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?
Posted: 4/13/2012 4:02:13 PM | | To me sex is only if you meet and there is chemistry !And actually that can be on a first date tenth date whenever the couple is comfortable with it ! To me if someone gave me a timeline I would quit talking to them and block them .That would be a red flag for me ! Because I am on here to meet and get to know someone first .This is a dating site not an escort site! | |
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| A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?
Posted: 4/13/2012 5:40:28 PM | OP: I'm a go with the flow kind of gal and if someone told me that I'd I think I'd view them the same way you mentioned, which is controlling or has rules to dating. To me, there are no rules. We're all adults and whatever happens happens. If you're not adult enough to handle that then I think it's kind of dumb to create rules or expectations.
I date to have fun. Simple as that. Dating someone who is putting expectations on me or laying their rules out on the table well, they just aren't that fun now are they. | |
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| A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?
Posted: 4/13/2012 6:28:03 PM | ugh. screw that crap. yes i've had sex occassionally on the 2nd date, but its always been a natural thing and never had anything like a "timetable to have it by then or no 3rd date" happen to me.
what a joke. usually i wait for a couple of months of dating for the most part. i don't like being told/forced to make decisions about anything important like sex, especially if the relationship is still in the early stages. and YES i've been dumped for NOT having sex with a woman. | |
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| A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?
Posted: 4/25/2012 3:30:28 PM | For me that would be a huge red flag. I like to learn more about the person then just sleeping w/them. Now some people are ok w/going to bed w/an individual on the 2nd or 3rd date. Kudos to them. But to make a such demand, if it's a demand, that you had to sleep w/that individual on the 2nd date is something else.
I had gone out w/one man who said we had hit it off when we met for coffee. But he wanted to sleep w/me that night to see if we hit it off sexually. Once I told him I wanted to get to know him more on emotional & mental state, if that makes sense, he said that idea was stupid. Personally, I thought the whole conversation was stupid...lol. Needless to say, I never seen or talk to him again.
To each their own | |
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| A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?
Posted: 4/25/2012 3:38:19 PM | " I had gone out w/one man who said we had hit it off when we met for coffee. But he wanted to sleep w/me that night to see if we hit it off sexually. Once I told him I wanted to get to know him more on emotional & mental state, if that makes sense, he said that idea was stupid. Personally, I thought the whole conversation was stupid...lol. Needless to say, I never seen or talk to him again."
I guess he thought that he could BUY you, and get a horizontal trial run, all from a cup of coffee.
I don't do EXPECTING . | |
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| A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?
Posted: 6/22/2012 11:14:15 PM | Someone wanting to have sex with me after the 3rd date...hmmm...that's a tough one. LOL.
-All men
Just because I'd go on a third date with her, if I wasn't feeling it then I wouldn't go for it. I don't plan out my sex, it just happens. I slip or trip on to a girl (total accident) ... and... you know the rest! Kidding! | |
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