| | A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?Page 3 of 20 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20) |
How many women, and men have not had sex by the end of their 2 nd date, and because of this, were turned down for a 3 rd date? I don't think I have ever had a man put it to me like that, but certainly it's a possibility since I already warn them in my profile that I will not be having sex with them on a first date.
I suppose they think maybe they could "get lucky" on the 2nd date, but just between you and me (and the entire forum world) that's not happening either. So depending on what they're after ... it could happen that a man might not want a 3rd date with me ... because I won't have sex with him.
I have a question though ...
If I go out with a man and we end up spending the whole weekend together ... what night is officially the 3rd date? | |
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| A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?
Posted: 10/16/2009 6:48:37 PM | Well I march to my own drummer and yes this has probably happen to me.
I don't know for sure because no one has said put out or get out but, I did date this professional man who really expected sex by the third date eventhough he professed to not be like that. When this did not happen he never called me again imagine that??
Granted I would like nothing better than to be that close to a person the right person period!
I believe sex is an expression of feeling, that being said I can't possibly know if I have real feelings for someone or am just feeling amorous by the third date.
If someone needs to have have something immediately I suggest they call the red cross relief stand! You won't find my # in the book next to it. | |
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_SYN_
| | Joined: 9/20/2009
Msg: 53 | |
| A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?
Posted: 10/16/2009 6:57:49 PM |
My question to everyone, MEN AND WOMEN... how would you feel if a potential partner told you, ( or you read in a Forum ) that this person would not wait for sex with you on a 3 rd date ?
For me, sex is a spontaneous sort of thing, not something that is expected or demanded of me if I'm not ready. If on the first date, or second date, this person came right out and voiced their intentions, I would express my lack of interest in being with someone who thinks in this manner, tell them to have a nice life, and say goodbye. If it was an online dating sort of thing that they had posted in a forum or on their profile, I wouldn't even waste my time with them. | |
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| A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?
Posted: 10/16/2009 7:00:53 PM | Rule Rules Rules Rules.......who cares if it's the first or tenth date! I just can't understand why people set a time frame for something that either comes naturally or it doesn't.
As far as I can tell, it's because people are either mentally managing their fears, or mentally managing their selfishness. In either case, they're certainly not much intrigued nor swept up by the mystery and the allure of whoever it is they are supposedly charmed by. | |
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| A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?
Posted: 10/16/2009 7:02:46 PM |
As far as I can tell, it's because people are either mentally managing their fears, or mentally managing their selfishness. In either case, they're certainly not much intrigued nor swept up by the the mystery and the allure of whoever it is they are supposedly charmed by.
Now that's a BIG bon bon  | |
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| A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?
Posted: 10/16/2009 7:24:15 PM | | Sex as I see it should happen naturally, between two consenting adults 1rst, 12, 24th date, seems todays date scheduled at Holiday Inn even before 1rst mtg. Darn and I really wanted to meet him too. Probably would have went better had he not been sooo optimistic. | |
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egilbe
| | Joined: 5/29/2008
Msg: 59 | |
| A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?
Posted: 10/16/2009 10:37:49 PM | I've always heard that the woman knows by the 3rd date whether she wants to sleep with you or not. Not that it was a hard and fast rule that you had to have sex by the 3rd date. I've never had a timeline. I can usually tell by the 1st date if I want to have sex with her, but spend the next few dates actually getting to know her.
I've had sex on the first date, waited until the 4th, had 3 dates and knew by then there was no chemistry, my ex-wife and I had gone out a few times and I just wanted to give her a good-night kiss and she jumped my bones. There is no hard and fast rule to this. If I like her, I'll continue seeing her and hope she feels the same way about me. I'm more attracted to the brain behind the pretty face, then the pretty face, itself...usually. There are exceptions  | |
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| A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?
Posted: 10/16/2009 10:50:26 PM | MARGO64
It's just sex and it feel great so do it already and quit making guys wait cause of some stupid rule! OOPPSS... I did say that out loud... Im a chick!
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Just curious, do you have children?
Would or did you tell them that the age of consent for sex is 18, so do whatever you want?
These guys who you say we shouldn't make wait, what happens when they wonder how many guys you went to bed with. Because, they are thinking geez how many men has she been to bed with.
I'm hoping you get annual blood tests. | |
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| A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?
Posted: 10/16/2009 11:06:52 PM |
These guys who you say we shouldn't make wait, what happens when they wonder how many guys you went to bed with. Because, they are thinking geez how many men has she been to bed with.
Sassyn...I know you're asking Margo64, but I couldn't help but wonder why any woman would want to be with a man with such train of thought. I can understand that a woman wants to wait because she wants to feel comfortable before sharing herself intimately with a man, but to FEAR not sharing yourself because of judgment is living a lie. | |
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| A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?
Posted: 10/16/2009 11:33:22 PM | I think I'd laugh if someone said that to me. That's really putting the cart before the horse.
The very best scenario is that 2 people have an intense connection that they want to manifest sexually without reservation. But sometimes reality sets in. | |
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| A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?
Posted: 10/17/2009 2:17:46 AM | " These guys who you say we shouldn't make wait, what happens when they wonder how many guys you went to bed with. Because, they are thinking geez how many men has she been to bed with. "
" Sassyn...I know you're asking Margo64, but I couldn't help but wonder why any woman would want to be with a man with such train of thought. I can understand that a woman wants to wait because she wants to feel comfortable before sharing herself intimately with a man, but to FEAR not sharing yourself because of judgment is living a lie. "
I think that you've made an excellent point. Would that not only be living a lie, but also self feeding the oppression that most women have fought to overcome for decades ?
And let's do a sexual role reversal.... how many MEN are worried about a woman asking HIM, how many women he went to bed with ?
And how many MEN feel, and self feed this kind of oppression that women do ?
My experience and opinion is that more women feel the way that Margo does, and that MOST women who DO agree with her, won't admit it on a forum, or openly in real life. | |
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| A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?
Posted: 10/17/2009 3:12:40 AM | Sex by the third date?
I think that one should ask themselves what they really want, sex, date, long term, marriage, friendship or what ever, or you may not know what you want that’s also fine.
So what if you have sex on the first or hundred and first date or never with that person. There is no formula nor what should or should not happen. To each his / her own, I as many of us if they are honest have had sex on the first date and with some dates sex has never occurred, so what, I still have the same respect for my dates, sometimes there is chemistry sometimes not – touché.
Going out and expecting or demanding something - now there is a problem – no expectations no disappointments works for me. | |
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| A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?
Posted: 10/17/2009 3:35:50 AM | | actually I think this whole subject is bull shit ...many especially on POF give lip service to the time line for sex ... but in my experience most people know pretty damn fast whether sex will happen and most are ready for it as soon as they know they want it with the person in question and that is good ... the only people I have issues with are the guys who are hypocrites and judge women when they have sex early ...and I really dont think there are that many of them .. the guys that claim this were really not going to stay any way calling the woman an easy slut just is their exit strategy.... I do understand the women who hold out from fear of this ..but chemistry being strong most will give in to sex as soon as they feel the chemistry ... that is why we discuss sex time lines and player threads so much .. I have dated many women and not all resulted in sex ...but all the ones that did ..resulted in sex on the first or second date .... I cant remember ever having a third date unless sex had already happened including my two wives ... actually my first wife ..we had sex on the first date ..but we had both just been in a using relationship ..so we decided not to have sex any more for a while ..(my idea).. we dated for five months before we had sex again ...we made it to within a week of our marriage before we had sex again ...we are still friends | |
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| A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?
Posted: 10/17/2009 6:09:04 AM | To Sassy- Honey I'm in health care (now) so I have to whether I want to or not. I've even had shots most people never heard of... I do use protection and see my share of what stupid people physically have done to themselves. I see M.R.S.A. more than I do sexually transmitted diseases; at least 25 cases a day..... I am a Mother and raised two daughters that are now both married. They were both sexually active, on birth control, and using condoms by the age of 16. My one daughter married her first (he's awesome), and the other lived with hers for several years before splitting up, and meeting her husband. How many men have I slept with? That's a different thread lady. Get on that one and read it. The men I've dated have enough self respect and dignity not to ask; neither do I. A number does not define anyone. If you'd get out there and have more sex and enjoy yourself it would not be such an issue for you.
Oh and as posted on other threads... POWER TO THE PEOPLE THAT LIKE TO HAVE SEX | |
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| A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?
Posted: 10/17/2009 8:38:09 AM | Perhaps the entire history of men saying 'if you don't put out, I will ditch you" have finally rubbed off on the female gender?
Things have shifted and now women are saying it to men.....
and you OP say you feel uncomfortable?
This whole thing is laughable.... in a sarcastic way. | |
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| A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?
Posted: 10/17/2009 2:55:57 PM | Who established this rule?
I don't place a sex limit (min or max) at the third date.
Just go with what feels right for you and your date and hope for the best.
If someone likes you they won't leave just cause you gave it up the first night. Similarly, they wont leave you cause you didn't give it up that 3rd date either. | |
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| A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?
Posted: 10/17/2009 3:53:30 PM | Honestly, I know alot of guys on this sight expect it, but I haven't put out with ANY of them especially in the beginning.
I know they try their make out session, but I don't know enough about them, if they are just looking to lift their leg everywhere, if they are really married, etc. | |
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| A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?
Posted: 10/17/2009 8:05:25 PM | Having sex on a 1st date.. or 3rd.. or ANY date before the old old old school of being married first.. has NOTHING to do with self-respect.
Having sex.. CAN be wrongly associated with some kind of EMOTIONAL MEANING to some people.. or it can be like a nice massage.. where ALL the body gets contact.
Connecting sexual desires and fulfillment with some kind of MORALITY is exactly what the lying religious control freaks WANT you to do... It will force you to IGNORE your birth-given Instinctual Human Reality.. and try to control it FALSELY in order to be in line with generally a NON-sexual leader wearing a backwards collar?
I just dont get it | |
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| A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?
Posted: 10/17/2009 8:27:39 PM | I personally think there should be a reasonable time table for a normal situation.... so let's say third date.
Now, if there is chemistry and you hit it off, I don't see why 2 consenting adults can't be intimate at their own free will- (understaning that not every encounter has to involve ever lasting love) but many folks get on forums and listen to train wrecks and enlist those ideas and standards into their own causing conflict.
but my rule is this- there are and or should always be 2 keys to a vehicle. that means that neither one of us is in total control. so don't expect me to watch you drive the car and me be a back seat passenger. | |
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