| A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?
Posted: 10/20/2009 11:09:04 AM | Remember, when we point a finger at someone, we are pointing THREE times as many fingers back at ourself : )
" No, we're not, this isn't frakking grade school... What's next? Singing "I know you are, but what am I?" or "Nyah Nyah Nyah"? Give me a break... "
I wasn't singing a song of six pence. I made a point that's valid for a lot of people.
The last time I looked, 3 of my own fingers were pointing at me when I pointed.
And my eyes work very well. | |
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| A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?
Posted: 10/20/2009 12:13:53 PM | Recent: Sex on first date. wants to have kids with me, move in a couple months, etc. Hm what to do. No not all guys are like these posters, i loose respect for you yada yada. When they find a girl that blows their mind, they will want to keep her around...believe you me.   | |
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| A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?
Posted: 10/20/2009 12:37:09 PM |
Acting out our desires just because you can is immature????
and you are associating having sex with dogs?
and somehow having sex is related to doing crack or heroin or
killing people or raping people?
Well I just don't know what to say.
Try seeing the truth in his post rather then discounting what he is saying due to the way he said it.
Instant gratification is a major problem in the world today. No one is willing to work for anything. They want it all right now.
ps...you know what is immature? copying every single line of a post individually
and responding separately. There should be a "fecking" law. (sorry rockman)
ahahahahahaha!
I'm not sure how "I" got brought in to this but either way I shall reply with my own reasoning.
I do it of the simple mined folks that seem to have a problem understanding what each comment refers to. To many people look for reasons to disagree and a page full of answers generally gets twisted around. Not to mention the inability some have to understand what each reply is referring to!
I agree about the live and let live, but as soon as someone starts justifying something they open them selves to a debate. Right has never needed justifying or defending. | |
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| A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?
Posted: 10/20/2009 12:53:04 PM |
Instant gratification is a major problem in the world today. No one is willing to work for anything. They want it all right now.
I'm sorry. My bad. I thought we were talking about someone's thoughts
on when they should have sex. I posted that its okei to have sex because
you WANT to...and the response is "instant gratification" , sex with dogs,
etc etc. I don't think I have to work for it frankly. If it feels right...I'm
going to have sex...if only for the instant gratification.
What's wrong with wanting it right now?
(don't forget...we're still talking about sex)
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| A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?
Posted: 10/20/2009 3:04:43 PM |
No, it is immature... Acting out on desires just because you can is immature.... realising that there could be more to it than a simple fcuk... is mature...
M Church...What if our understanding of SEX was completly different to what we've been programmed to believe? What if a "fcuk" was equivelent to....let's say admiration..would we still feel the same way about sex? | |
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| A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?
Posted: 10/20/2009 3:43:27 PM |
M Church...What if our understanding of SEX was completly different to what we've been programmed to believe? What if a "fcuk" was equivelent to....let's say admiration..would we still feel the same way about sex?
Ummm first off, no one 'programmed' you to believe it is what it is... it developed because that's what worked... basically, sex is so interwoven into our beliefs because it's linked to pair bonding, procreation, and evolution...
But to take you comment and look at it from the other side... We might not look at sex the same way... but maybe something else would take it's place... You might have sex differently, but maybe never eat with a stranger, Imagine that? A debate on people who have casual eating with people they hardly know...
Sex might be ok, but physically "sleeping" might be the big tabboo... | |
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| A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?
Posted: 10/20/2009 7:12:35 PM | The answer is simple... lots of people believe in one-night-stands (or second).
It's called immaturity.
No, some people simply don't have "hang ups" about having (lets call it what it actually is) non committal sex.
No, it is immature... Acting out on desires just because you can is immature.... realising that there could be more to it than a simple fcuk... is mature...
That's a strawman.
It is not immature for two consenting adults to have sex purely for the sake of sexual gratification.
Even married couples do that.
Contrary to what some would like to believe...there really isn't anything wrong
with having sex simply because you WANT to. I agree, dogs do it all the time... walk up, sniff butt, and fcuk.... no thought behind it... no worries about consequences...
You might want to consider seeking counselling if see a direct correlation between humans and canines, or other animals.
Are you afraid that humans might start licking their balls, and eating their young, too?
Realize that sex among humans is virtually all about "recreation" and not "procreation". | |
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| A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?
Posted: 10/20/2009 7:25:58 PM |
I would expect a real kiss on a first date and sex by the 2nd or 3rd. Now you see, I am not adverse to either of those things. Highly unlikely, but not out of the question.
But that statement is a huge sexual turn off. I am not a trained seal. And sexual intimacy on demand/expectation is a repulsive concept to me.
It also seems to be to be the heights of stupidity if instant sexual gratification is what you are about; which clearly must be the case with such a schedule. So, you don't get your "real kiss" on date #1 and so there is no date #2. But maybe that woman would have had sex date #2. Or "real kiss" date #2 and sex date #4.
What fascinates me is the incredibly long winded profile outlining in detail your 'expectations' when really it's very simple. You value the sex above anything else. At least that's what your above statement communicates.
Mind you the statement about not taking "applications for dates" in your profile is a very powerful one and not in any positive way.
A schedule/expectation like that is really conducive to one thing only; lots of casual sex. There can be no emotional connection or intimacy of any depth on Date 1, or 3. But if that what floats your boat....What is most fascinating about it is the application of an arbitrary formula to human relationships. If you stick by these rules no matter what, the mind boggles at how many really amazing encounters/relationships (if you ever wanted one)/experiences you have forgone as a result. It defies logic.
Instant gratification is a major problem in the world today. No one is willing to work for anything. They want it all right now. Whilst this may be true, I am not sure why this is a "major problem" when it comes to sex; provided all protections are in place and both parties are consenting and 'up' for it. Why does it have to be 'worked for'? Sex purely for physical/sexual release and pleasure hurts no one; has no impact on anyone other than the participants. So how is this a "major problem"?
Doesn't interest me in the least as I have no interest or capacity for the mind/emotional/body disconnect required to engage in sex that is purely for gratification. For me, my brain and emotions are an essential part of my sexual experience. I have to be 'turned on' intellectually and emotionally in order to be turned on sexually.
But that is obviously not the case for many. And I don't see how that is "immature" or a problem.
Would anyone of that view care to elaborate on why they think it is? | |
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| A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?
Posted: 10/20/2009 7:33:49 PM |
No, some people simply don't have "hang ups" about having (lets call it what it actually is) non committal sex. See, that is pretty offensive. It reads like if you wouldn't have purely physical sex, you have a "hang up". Just as it is fine to do it if that's your thing, surely it is fine for it not to do anything for you or be of no interest to you?
It is not immature for two consenting adults to have sex purely for the sake of sexual gratification.
Even married couples do that. Actually no, by definition they don't. They may engage in a 'hard and fast quickie'. End of the day though, it is done against a landscape of a long term, committed, emotional bond. Not the same at all as doing it with a complete stranger.
Realize that sex among humans is virtually all about "recreation" and not "procreation". Realise that biologically speaking that sex is solely about procreation, irrespective of what intellectual framework you impose on that. | |
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| A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?
Posted: 10/20/2009 7:41:10 PM | | well to sum things up i would not date a woman who just wants sex i have 2 kids to think about and honestly if its just a booty call it would eventually confuse my children and i dont need that if im dating a woman im lookin at a potential LTR not a fling other men might be different but thats just me i like to wait till im sure im ready and if the woman couldnt or wouldn't accept that i would cut all ties and let her know that she doesn't need to call me anymore cause i dont need the problems or DRAMA | |
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| A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?
Posted: 10/20/2009 7:45:07 PM |
But that statement is a huge sexual turn off. I am not a trained seal. And sexual intimacy on demand/expectation is a repulsive concept to me.
Well, let's see... A woman who isn't interested enough in me to have sex with me, isn't interested in me enough to be in a relationship with me.
Mind you the statement about not taking "applications for dates" in your profile is a very powerful one and not in any positive way.
Duh... It's supposed to be.
Your entire rant is really quite funny. Rather than discuss it here, you can email me. | |
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| A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?
Posted: 10/20/2009 8:57:48 PM |
Well, let's see... A woman who isn't interested enough in me to have sex with me, isn't interested in me enough to be in a relationship with me. Completely agree. What is truly bizarre is your assumption that it is always possible to know she is interested enough in you to have sex with you on a 2nd or 3rd date.
I went on a first date on the weekend. Spent 3 hrs together, so a decent block of time in terms of a first meet I think. Definitely having a 2nd date. But, no "real kiss". 3hrs with someone *for me* is a tiny amount of time. Enough to establish some chemistry, sure. Enough to get to know just to get a very broad overview of someone, barely.
So in your world, that makes me "not interested enough" in him to have sex with him? And yet nothing may be further from the truth.
Fact is, it's too soon to tell. Goes back to that mind/body/emotional connection I guess. If you require it as part of sexual arousal and experience, it almost certainly isn't going to happen on Date #2 or #3. 6 or 8 hours with someone does not a connection of any depth make.
Rather than discuss it here, you can email me. Oh, I "can", huh? Hmm...let me think about that....nope.....feel free to continue the condescending discourse in this thread.... | |
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| A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?
Posted: 10/20/2009 8:59:14 PM |
When the wise said 1 word can make a difference they were not kidding. You missed virtually and it threw you off the rail!! Nice try Sherlock, but no cigar. Didn't miss "virtually" at all. "Virtually" implies "almost entirely". And that is what I disagree with.
Humans may have turned sex into something primarily about physical/sexual gratification based on their own cognitive and emotional evolution/development and because it is dictated by virtue of population control and lifestyle choices (ie. they can't afford nor want to raise scads of kids). But it's biological roots are something entirely different. | |
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| A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?
Posted: 10/20/2009 9:05:43 PM |
That's a strawman.
It is not immature for two consenting adults to have sex purely for the sake of sexual gratification.
Even married couples do that.
True, but that gratification in a marriage is part of the marriage...
Aside from that, two adults may both consent, but consent in of itself does not prove maturity... nor does it prove imaturity... consent is simply a tacit agreement...
You might want to consider seeking counselling if see a direct correlation between humans and canines, or other animals.
Are you afraid that humans might start licking their balls, and eating their young, too?
Well, canines and humans are mammalian... so there is actually a correlation... but the concept was that sex for sex's sake alone is a common thing in the animal kingdom... one would hope that humans at least were able to ascribe a little more to it....
Realize that sex among humans is virtually all about "recreation" and not "procreation".
You are basing that on what study? In fact, humans do have sex for other reasons besides recreation and besides procreation... pair bonding, intimacy, and comfort... to name a few... | |
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| A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?
Posted: 10/20/2009 9:12:44 PM |
6 or 8 hours with someone does not a connection of any depth make
True enough, unless one is looking for another shallow person...
Hell, as a guy I know I've met women I wasn't sure I wanted to sleep with in just a few hours... but then, I was always a little more picky about who and what I'd sleep with...
If a woman is too easy to sleep with, I'd lose all interest... anybody can bag an easy one... let them, I'd rather those that "need" to fcuk them have them... I'd rather work on a smart one... | |
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| A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?
Posted: 10/20/2009 9:19:54 PM |
No, some people simply don't have "hang ups" about having (lets call it what it actually is) non committal sex.
No it's not what it is... just because you feel it is a hangup does not make it so....
Non-commital sex is simply sex. I agree...
It's like eating, those that don't know any better are happy with McDonalds... and go there regularly...
The rest of us don't... we like a little quality...
And besides which, I won't fcuk some woman of the first or third date or anytime before she and I have had a talk about STD testing, gotten that done and the results back... and maybe if needed a 3 month wait for a second test... She's not going anywhere... if she is, then she wasn't worth fcuking in the first place... and if I couldn't keep her interested in me that long, then I'm probably not worth fcuking either....LOL | |
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| A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?
Posted: 10/20/2009 9:29:23 PM | Humans are the only mammals that engauge in birth control. Humans have a higher cognizant apptitude than any other critter on earth.
Therefore, we (humans) DO engauge in intercourse simply for the pleasure.
When the time is right for two consenting adults can NOT be defined by any formula, i.e. 2 dates, 3 dates, 4 dates, etc...
It's simply right when it works for both parties involved.
IMO, applying a formula is an attempt to control. It's an attempt to configure a methodology that will gaurentee success for the longterm. No such formula exists.
Some wait, and find their match. Some move quickly and find their match. Some try both techniques and still don't find their match.
All that matters is being true to oneself. Chastising anothers 'self truth' is to be ignorant of self direction and a bit judgemental.
just a 'to each their own' thought | |
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| A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?
Posted: 10/20/2009 10:29:57 PM |
one would hope that humans at least were able to ascribe a little more to it....
Uh, humans do ascribe more attention to it. Ever seen a porno produced by or sold to a species other than homo sapiens?
You are basing that on what study?
How about, the billions of dollars spent each year on
(1) birth control;
(2) condoms for the prevention of std's?
(3) How about the fact that no one I've ever met stopped having sex once the last kid was in the oven?
In fact, humans do have sex for other reasons besides recreation and besides procreation... pair bonding, intimacy, and comfort... to name a few...
In other words, for the pleasure they derive from it. | |
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