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| A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?
Posted: 10/20/2009 11:12:48 PM |
applying a formula is an attempt to control. Got to agree with this... When i was searching for a partner I had no time frame on when i'd have sex with a new person, but i would not have it before I was ready just because he wanted it. There are times when ive been ready on the first date, but an attitude like this.....
If a chick doesn't toss a leg (or at least get on her knees) by the third date, I'm gone... Will ensure i will never be ready with that particular person... He talks about women as though they are nothing more than sperm receptacles.. As soon as an ultimatum is given I would not be interested in anything more to do with him...
A woman who isn't interested enough in me to have sex with me, isn't interested in me enough to be in a relationship with me. I've been very interested in some men but still didn't have sex with them right off the bat... Doesn't mean i didn't like them (I married one of them). I'm a highly sexual person. I just wanted to know them a bit better before i went there.
The ultimatum that she has sex with him by the 3rd date or the man is gone is what puts many women off.. . When i was looking for a partner the second i sensed that a man thought it was his "right" that i would have sex with him when HE decided (with no thought or care about what i wanted) it would totally cancel out any attraction i had for him, or any chance that he would get that sex. Even if i really wanted to rip his clothes off right there and then, if i got an "entitlement attitude" it wouldn't happen. It showed to me that he had no intent of pursuing anything more than a one nighter...
The time frame is irrelevent... The attitude is relevent... | |
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| A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?
Posted: 10/20/2009 11:45:57 PM |
The ultimatum that she has sex with him by the 3rd date or the man is gone is what puts many women off.
But I never said anything about an ultimatum. I simply have an expectation of what will happen which is either met or not. If it is not met, I don't call. Same as everything else. | |
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| A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?
Posted: 10/21/2009 12:53:23 AM |
But I never said anything about an ultimatum. You didn't. the ultimatum wasn't in reference to your post.. You have a right to what you want in a relationship. just as women have a right to have sex when they're ready. But haven't you ever wondered if you've missed out on a great woman who was very interested in having a relationship with you but she took a little longer than you to want to get naked?
I don't want to paint all men with the same brush, especially as i haven't met many of the ass h*les, but there are enough threads out there on the subject of men hitting and running, so you must be aware of all the men out there who pretend to be interested and dump as soon as they get sex! If we had sex with every man who took us on a third date with the expectation of getting laid and then running we'd go through an awful lot of men.... | |
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| A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?
Posted: 10/21/2009 1:06:42 AM |
But haven't you ever wondered if you've missed out on a great woman who was very interested in having a relationship with you but she took a little longer than you to want to get naked?
No. By definition, a great woman for me is one who knows what she wants and isn't afraid to take a risk. I like decisive women.
I don't want to paint all men with the same brush, especially as i haven't met many of the ass h*les, but there are enough threads out there on the subject of men hitting and running, so you must be aware of all the men out there who pretend to be interested and dump as soon as they get sex!
(1) If you don't want to have sex, don't have sex.
(2) If you attempt to trade sex for a relationship, you are going to lose.
If we had sex with every man who took us on a third date with the expectation of getting laid and then running we'd go through an awful lot of men...
Only if you have a tendency to pick men who go running off after getting laid. If these forums are any indication, women do that a lot even though they knew better. | |
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| A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?
Posted: 10/21/2009 1:52:26 AM |
Only if you have a tendency to pick men who go running off after getting laid. . And how are women supposed to know if the guy is going to run after getting laid?
If these forums are any indication, women do that a lot even though they knew better Not sure what you meant in that statement. What are they supposed to know better about? Having sex too soon or picking the men who run off after sex? I'm sure they don't pick these asses on purpose.. Sounds like you are blaming the women for the mens bad behaviour. Unfortunately the guys who just want to get their d1ck wet with as many women as possible look and sound just like the ones who are more sincere.
If you attempt to trade sex for a relationship, you are going to lose. But isn't that a form of what you are doing but in reverse? Insisting on instant sex or NO relationship. | |
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| A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?
Posted: 10/21/2009 2:41:57 AM | And how are women supposed to know if the guy is going to run after getting laid?
The answer to this is way to long and digresses too far from the topic to post here.
Not sure what you meant in that statement. What are they supposed to know better about? Having sex too soon or picking the men who run off after sex? I'm sure they don't pick these asses on purpose.
I'm sure that most do, since most seem to pick asses repeatedly. One reason that I've never managed to be a ``player,'' is that I can't really believe women fall for the bullshit. It makes me cringe to think I cou;ld get away with saying the kind of shit I've seen succeeed with women.
. Sounds like you are blaming the women for the mens bad behaviour. Unfortunately the guys who just want to get their d1ck wet with as many women as possible look and sound just like the ones who are more sincere
No. Many women just have broken pickers and consistently pick poorly while expecting to get a relationship from sex. The solution is very simple. Have sex if you want to have sex. Don't hsve sex if you don't want to have sex. Don't use sex to get something other than sex.
But isn't that a form of what you are doing but in reverse? Insisting on instant sex or NO relationship.
No. You can have sex without a relationship but you can't have a relationship without sex. I don't want a relationship with a woman who doesn't know if she wants to have sex with me. | |
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| A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?
Posted: 10/21/2009 3:14:58 AM |
I don't want a relationship with a woman who doesn't know if she wants to have sex with me. Ha.. I can understand that!! I would be very unhappy if my man didn't want to have sex with me.. But i don't see why you think of them not wanting sex immediately means that they don't want to have sex with you.. I guess i see those first few dates as the period when i workout whether they are one of the "just wanna get laid, don't care who with" types, or someone who is genuinely interested in me. And i reckon my picker is pretty spot on, i don't think ive had had a hit and run since i was about 19. | |
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| A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?
Posted: 10/21/2009 9:44:17 AM | No, some people simply don't have "hang ups" about having (lets call it what it actually is) non committal sex. See, that is pretty offensive. It reads like if you wouldn't have purely physical sex, you have a "hang up".
It reads like that, because if you have a psychological barrier to having purely physical sex, then you DO have a "hang up".
That the term "hang up" rings very dissonant to you, is your problem. It's an accurate term. Not much different than saying you have "issues" with purely physical sex.
Do you not masturbate? Does the thought of that repulse you?
For some people it does. They have "hang ups" about masturbation.
It is not immature for two consenting adults to have sex purely for the sake of sexual gratification.
Even married couples do that. Actually no, by definition they don't. They may engage in a 'hard and fast quickie'. End of the day though, it is done against a landscape of a long term, committed, emotional bond. Not the same at all as doing it with a complete stranger.
A couple of things. I'm not sure how you think what you said even correlates to making a point about "maturity", and secondly, you make it sound like having sex with a stranger is somehow completely void of any merit whatsoever, lack of judment, and should be discouraged.
Realize that sex among humans is virtually all about "recreation" and not "procreation". Realise that biologically speaking that sex is solely about procreation, irrespective of what intellectual framework you impose on that.
You're attempting to build a strawman.
Don't take my statement and dovetail it into biology, or spirituality, or any such topic.
You either agree with my statement as I wrote it, or you don't.
A woman who isn't interested enough in me to have sex with me, isn't interested in me enough to be in a relationship with me. I've been very interested in some men but still didn't have sex with them right off the bat... Doesn't mean i didn't like them (I married one of them). I'm a highly sexual person. I just wanted to know them a bit better before i went there.
Then you're claim of being a highly sexual person is a misnomer.
A true "highly sexual" person, is, by definition, someone who has sex because they like sex.
What you describe about yourself, does not describe a "highly sexual" person. Trust me on that.
The time frame is irrelevent... The attitude is relevent...
I disagree. Both are relevant. Time frame and attitude are not mutually exclusive.
Unless you've been both, you can't claim to know otherwise.
I've been with both types, and can claim otherwise.
I would be very unhappy if my man didn't want to have sex with me..
Then it's quote ironic that you fail to see how a man would not look negatively on your not wanting to have sex with him, when he wants to have sex with you.
What are they supposed to know better about? Having sex too soon or picking the men who run off after sex? I'm sure they don't pick these asses on purpose.. Sounds like you are blaming the women for the mens bad behaviour. Unfortunately the guys who just want to get their d1ck wet with as many women as possible look and sound just like the ones who are more sincere.
That's childish circular reasoning.
On the one hand, the claim is made that men want sex. Then on the other, the claim is made that if you give them what they most desire, they will run away from it.
That's completely non sequitur.
If a woman I wanted, gave me sex, and it was good sex, why exactly would I want to leave?....
But i don't see why you think of them not wanting sex immediately means that they don't want to have sex with you.. I guess i see those first few dates as the period when i workout whether they are one of the "just wanna get laid, don't care who with" types, or someone who is genuinely interested in me. And i reckon my picker is pretty spot on, i don't think ive had had a hit and run since i was about 19.
Actually, your picker can't be too good at all, as you rely on huge amounts of information gathering to develop a pycshological profile of whether a grown man behaves at the level of a pubescent boy.
Again, non sequitur.
You clearly illustrate that you don't trust your "picker" at all, and clearly illustrate that you are not "highly sexual" because you don't have sex because you enjoy sex, you have it only in exchange for a relationship.
Let's see how well you grasp reality.... | |
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| A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?
Posted: 10/21/2009 10:24:19 AM | I'll put a twist on this though......what if someone who is highly sexual used to have sex often casually and in relationships; but then discovered that the casual sexual encounters could not give them the depth and trust they needed in a partner to continue on with their sexual "desires" or "wants".?
I look at it this way, it's not very often I run into a man who sees sex the way I do and wants to do the things I want to do. Some of these things require trust and being vulnerable - to be that sure of someone right away is very very rare.
Now I'm not saying that one needs a committed relationship for this, but there has to be some "knowing" and trust of the other person (for example, you could meet someone who is a really good friend of a really good friend; people will tend to trust someone like that more than a stranger).
I believe that men will leave because the sex is not what they are looking for. They will stay if the sex is good, but if they then discover that parts of the relationship don't work, they will leave. I don't really see anything wrong with this. I think the thinking is that we have led ourselves to believe that breaking up with someone because of bad sex or after you've had sex is somehow bad. Now, I don't think we should be running around sleeping with everyone either, but there's a fine line and we all need to take responsibility for our own actions.
That said, just because someone broke up with you because the sex was bad doesn't mean you are bad in bed (in some cases, it could), it could mean that the two of you together just didn't work (which I do believe happens). | |
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| A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?
Posted: 10/21/2009 10:45:31 AM | It reads like that, because if you have a psychological barrier to having purely physical sex, then you DO have a "hang up".
That the term "hang up" rings very dissonant to you, is your problem. It's an accurate term.  Yeah, right, very technical that term "hang up". "Accurate" my arse. It's your personal opinion, nothing more.
That someone may have no interest in purely physical sex not only DOES NOT equate to having a "psychological barrier" but it absolutely DOES NOT equate to having a "hang up". But thanks for the laugh Dr Freud.
A couple of things. I'm not sure how you think what you said even correlates to making a point about "maturity", and secondly, you make it sound like having sex with a stranger is somehow completely void of any merit whatsoever, lack of judment, and should be discouraged. A couple of responses. Firstly, what I said has no correlation to a point about "maturity". Because I was not responding to your views on maturity, genius. I was making the point that a comparison between sex in marriage and sex with a complete stranger is entirely invalid.
Secondly, how you get from a comment that sex within marriage is not comparable to sex with a stranger to a view that the latter is "void of any merit whatsoever" (...what the hell "merit" has to do with it at all is a whole 'nother bafflement), lacking in judgment and should be discouraged I will never know.
But if you had of bothered to read all of my comments you would know that I make no such judgment nor think it should be "discouraged". All I have ever said is that it is not for me. No mind/body/emotional connection = very unsatisfying sex *for me*; thus doesn't interest nor fulfill me at all. But if it floats your boat and both parties are on the same page, go for it I say!
You're attempting to build a strawman.
Don't take my statement and dovetail it into biology, or spirituality, or any such topic.
You either agree with my statement as I wrote it, or you don't. Like that term "strawman" don't you? Read in in Oprah's book of the month or something? You really need to do a little more homework on its correct usage before you bandy it about quite so much, however; might want to add "non sequitur" into that research whilst you're at it.
In any event, last I checked, there was no restriction on this forum as to what one might do with another's statement. Therefore I shall do with yours as I please and not limit myself to simply agreeing or disagreeing with it "as you wrote it".
Evidently I need to spell out to you that was I was in no way attempting to refute your statement by substituting a superficially similar proposition. I was making the point that whilst humans may have come in their evolution to a point where sex has become more about recreation than anything else, the FACT remains, it's roots are elsewhere. Can you grasp that reality?
and clearly illustrate that you are not "highly sexual" because you don't have sex because you enjoy sex, you have it only in exchange for a relationship. Now that is in fact, quite a good example of a non sequitur. Well done. | |
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| A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?
Posted: 10/21/2009 11:15:24 AM | Everyone is getting way too deep into this subject; IN MY OPINION.
We are all HUMAN, all have desires, and all have our personal needs and preferences.
I've been labeled and blasted for mine on several different threads but does it stop me? NO.
I have sex for pure enjoyment and recreational purposes. SEXERCISE! America's favorite past time! | |
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| A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?
Posted: 10/21/2009 3:42:26 PM |
It reads like that, because if you have a psychological barrier to having purely physical sex, then you DO have a "hang up".
No, it's called a "preference". What is perceived as a psychological barrier is simply a different thought process leading to an alternate outcome... A psychological barrier would be more something to do with an illogical aversion to something...
Do you not masturbate? Does the thought of that repulse you?
Yet some people may not masturbate because they don't enjoy it enough to do so.... it has nothing to do with repulsion nor a hangup....
If a woman I wanted, gave me sex, and it was good sex, why exactly would I want to leave?....
Then why aren't you with the first person you had sex with...? Or are you in a quest to find "good sex"? You see, if it was the first sex you had, how would you know whether or not it was "good" or "bad"?
So if you're not with anyone, then that would imply that the sex was never that good with any of them... This is statistically unlikely, so it stands to reason that the only common denominator for the sex not being good is you.... So then either you're not good in bed, or your argument is flawed....
A true "highly sexual" person, is, by definition, someone who has sex because they like sex. No, it just mean they have sex a lot... it doesn't mean they do it because they like sex. They may have other reasons for having sex a lot. Such as a strong physical/sexual response... or esteem issues making them have sex for the wrong reasons (such as misplaced seeking love or affirmation).... | |
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| A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?
Posted: 10/21/2009 6:12:27 PM | If a woman cannot decide on the simple issue of having sex with you or not in adequate time. what makes you think she can handle more complex issues.
Men seem think over and over again here that it's about whether or not we WOULD have sex with a guy, when it's more about wanting to and when.
It's never a question of attraction for me if I am dating a guy, but the process of knowing him enough to know if I want to know him anywhere else. The sex isn't the problem, it's who he is and all that may come with it if it happens. Is he intelligent? If so, that makes him hotter. Is he clingy and needy? If so sleeping with him isn't gonna pan out well.
It usually takes more than three dates for me to know whether or not there's anything beyond the attraction/chemistry to bother with. Once I know he is, however and I'm ready - I want it to be good and I want it often.
P.S. The whole women "give it up" and men "take it" dynamic went out in the 50s... | |
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| A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?
Posted: 10/21/2009 7:18:57 PM | ^^^^LOL...if you think more than three dates is the equivalent of an adoption process, then I guess that's part of the problem. If it's more than three but less than 6 what do you care? Once she actually wants to sleep with you IN RETURN and then you're getting laid regularly, what's the problem?
Unless of course (and yeah, we're back to this) you want a woman to just toss it at you and not really care or be into it because she doesn't know you that well anyway - is it all about your end of it? In that case paying for it is better - at least then you'll know it's happening in the same night.
For me, hotness is the beginning of the attraction...but there are a lot of other things that add to that. The more I know and like the more I desire the guy. In the beginning hot alone is just "eh" - the rest is what makes it a "gotta have" type thing. When I meet you I know I could - once I know you've got substance I know I WOULD.
Might not be something you get unless you've been there.
P.S. Men like to be mysterious? I gotta hear the details on this one - that's not been my experience. It takes a long time to know someone REALLY well...so wanting to know enough in a couple weeks to a month to know if I want to continue to see him isn't asking that much.
Paying? I dont want to have sex with STD in the back of my mind. Its a cause of inhibition and you wont enjoy it. Its also more costly in the long run compared to 'wooing' you.(LOL. How did we end up discussing this?)
Actually - high class escorts are probably cleaner - they have to be to continue working. There's no difference otherwise - a woman who will sleep with you for reasons other than liking you. Just as impersonal and you don't have to take the phone calls after it's over.
But I wont pursue a 'stuborn' woman who even after assuring her safe sex is a matter of emotional bonding rather than what women think "An ultimate offer to men and might ruin his interest on you if dished too early'
I don't know about that - I don't have sex to offer it to men, I don't worry about interest - I worry whether or not after it's over I will regret it because there's nothing else about him I like - and I worry that it won't be exciting enough because I don't know him enough to get excited about him. Anyone can be a boy toy - see? I'd just assume go call an ex for sex with no strings - at least I know he's good in bed and he won't bother me when it's over.
I tried to tell a guy this once, he kept thinking I was worried I would feel used - I said no I don't want to see YOU as useless beyond just a guy to sleep with. What makes me REALLY want a guy is his personality and humor and intelligence once I am attracted to him - it's a combination that does it for me.
Hehhe ill tell you an amusing story. I told a chick 'I love you' on a second date and she branded me crazy and barely know her..
I dont know if this is true but I think time constraints must be observed.
I had an ex tell me he loved me an hour after meeting me - naturally I thought he was either nuts, or thought I wanted to hear it. Turns out he meant it eventually, but I totally laughed it off and dismissed it at the time.
On Your PS:
We love to strike the iron when its hot thats the reason for mystery.
I don't want mystery from a guy I want to date and sleep with exclusively - if I want that, I'll crack a book. | |
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| A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?
Posted: 10/21/2009 7:42:20 PM | I know that I can have the woman, so it's not an all consuming thing to sleep with her. She will sleep with me eventually, or she won't... no big deal... I'd rather she sleeps with me becasue she wants to rather than because she's afraid of failing to meet a stupid timeline... but then, I'm confident enough to not worry about it...
Women who are determined not to "give it up" until after a specific amount of time may risk turning off the guy and are assuming the guy has no other options for female companionship.
I think what you're failing to grasp is that if the guy isn't waiting around or all he wants is sex, the women are happier if he moves on...
If the guy is attractive and has no problem attracting women, he's well aware of that fact and is not going to put up with any type of B.S......
But remember, If the girl is attractive and has no problem attracting men, she's well aware of that fact and is not going to put up with any type of B.S. either....
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| A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?
Posted: 10/21/2009 8:44:12 PM | Women who are determined not to "give it up" until after a specific amount of time may risk turning off the guy and are assuming the guy has no other options for female companionship. Ah, but that's the point. Most women don't have a "specific amount of time" after which they will "give it up". And they are completely turned off by a man who has a specific amount of time by which they must "give it up"; particularly if that's a ridiculously short time frame, like 1-2 dates.
And they don't assume there are no other good options. They assume that if the guy feels like his other options are better ones/more suited to him, then he will pursue those rather than her.
The only kind of sex you're having after 1-2 dates is the purely physical kind. And for many that's of little or no interest.
As for 'risking turning off the guy,' it's a risk I'm happy to take. There's no way on earth I'm having sex simply to keep the guy around. If we haven't had sex and the guy is sick of waiting (or conversely, I am), then it's almost certain that this is not the guy for me and/or I'm not the woman for him.
It's not as if the men I've had a relationship with (and therefore a sexual relationship with) have had to wait some ridiculous amount of time. Plus of course it's not like you go from zero to sex on one hit (at least I don't). There will have been physical/sexual contact leading up to 'the deed,' leaving little doubt what we are probably working towards. | |
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| A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?
Posted: 10/21/2009 9:01:04 PM |
How many women, and men have not had sex by the end of their 2 nd date, and because of this, were turned down for a 3 rd date ?
5, 328, 766 ... that's just my guess for the year 2008 for the USA.
My question to everyone, MEN AND WOMEN... how would you feel if a potential partner told you, ( or you read in a Forum ) that this person would not wait for sex with you on a 3 rd date ?
How far apart are the dates and how long is each date?
I think people who say what they want deserve a medal.... I'm of course exaggerating for effect. Though I do think such a person deserves certain level of respect for being honest/open/forward.
Lets look at an alternative: Suppose she didn't say what she wants and only silently disqualified you in her mind, and dumped on you the third date with no particular reason. Will that be better?
My view on when sex should occur is pretty simple: The more two people like each other the sooner they want to have sex with each other... and yes, that does mean a quickie one minute after you meet. So, in one sense the second date IS WAY too late.
Let me put it this way: I know whether I want to have sex with a woman within 10 second of seeing her. I know women aren't much different. It's the OTHER mental thoughts that complicate otherwise a simple decision.... "Does she have an STD?", "Is she a psycho bi!ch?", "Am I going to have to deal with her husband/boyfriend in the morning?", etc.
To answer your question, if a woman told me that, I'd take no issue with it, though I'd be curious as to the reason for her expectation. | |
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| A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?
Posted: 10/21/2009 9:28:21 PM | | umm i think there shouldnt be a set rule on how many dates is good for sex, thats like so....unnatural. If i feel comfortable to have sex i will and if im not then i will politely tell the guy im not, if he wants to stick around thats cool, if not then next. | |
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| A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?
Posted: 10/21/2009 10:05:52 PM |
Ah, but that's the point. Most women don't have a "specific amount of time" after which they will "give it up". And they are completely turned off by a man who has a specific amount of time by which they must "give it up"; particularly if that's a ridiculously short time frame, like 1-2 dates.
And they don't assume there are no other good options. They assume that if the guy feels like his other options are better ones/more suited to him, then he will pursue those rather than her.
The only kind of sex you're having after 1-2 dates is the purely physical kind. And for many that's of little or no interest.
As for 'risking turning off the guy,' it's a risk I'm happy to take. There's no way on earth I'm having sex simply to keep the guy around. If we haven't had sex and the guy is sick of waiting (or conversely, I am), then it's almost certain that this is not the guy for me and/or I'm not the woman for him.
It's not as if the men I've had a relationship with (and therefore a sexual relationship with) have had to wait some ridiculous amount of time. Plus of course it's not like you go from zero to sex on one hit (at least I don't). There will have been physical/sexual contact leading up to 'the deed,' leaving little doubt what we are probably working towards.
So basically, after he jumps through all your hoops. You lead him into the room and shag him when you feel like it, how you feel like it. You lead the way, all the time no exceptions, making all the decisions in the secks making process and hold all the keys to all the doors? Sounds like fun  | |
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| A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?
Posted: 10/21/2009 10:18:28 PM | So basically, after he jumps through all your hoops. You lead him into the room and shag him when you feel like it, how you feel like it. You lead the way, all the time no exceptions, making all the decisions in the secks making process and hold all the keys to all the doors? Get a grip.
Seriously, your own personal bias evidently has rendered you incapable of even comprehending basic English without putting an interpretation on it that does not exist. Bitter much?
Have no idea what these "hoops" are you refer to. I certainly never mentioned any. Unless getting to know someone is considered a "hoop" by you?
As to who leads who into a room, well in my personal experience that tends to vary. No 2 experiences are ever the same. As to when it happens, it happens when WE BOTH WANT IT TO, not on any sort of arbitrary timetable set by anyone. I'm not going to have sex when I don't want to simply for fear of the guy going elsewhere and conversely, I don't expect him to have sex with me if he doesn't want to, nor wait longer than he feels is reasonable.
As to "how I feel like it", nope, wrong again Sherlock. The best sexual experiences are the ones where both people are totally in the moment and learning about what the other likes whilst letting them know what they like as well. Of course, with a complete stranger, this is exponentially more difficult; another reason why having spent some time getting to know one another adds so much more to the experience.
You lead the way, all the time no exceptions, making all the decisions in the secks making process and hold all the keys to all the doors? Ah.....no again. You're 0 for 0. That must be some other woman you encountered. Because I never said or implied that. Not once. And the best experiences come when the other has a few keys to some doors, you hadn't ever been through before, yes? I have zero interest in "making all the decisions" or "holding all the keys" for that matter. Because there's no "fun" in that. None at all. | |
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| A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?
Posted: 10/21/2009 10:42:19 PM |
As to who leads who into a room, well in my personal experience that tends to vary. No 2 experiences are ever the same. As to when it happens, it happens when WE BOTH WANT IT TO, not on any sort of arbitrary timetable set by anyone.
Well, that's basically the point you were trying to get at right...at least that's the way I grip your point with my vast knowledge of the English language.
I just want to make these two points.
1. Women don't like to think they have as much control as they think they do when it comes to secks. It just seems to me, that people on this site either are like the "you gotta treat me right and date me 6 times for at least 20 hours for me to even think about secks"...which is ridicules. I don't agree with the way people are voicing their opinions. All I can do is talk from life experience, and there are a couple women I have met like that, but it is nowhere near the amount you see on this site percentage wise... IMO. Maybe its just because you have your picture next to your opinion with a short profile where people can see a short bio, and you're nervous people on the internet might judge you.
2. There are conscious steps men can take to make a women feel more at ease. More comfortable. Make you seem more appealing and hit those subconscious buttons to rev the engine so to speak.
That being said, if those two points don't sound completely bogus, then a time frame shouldn't be out of the question.
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