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| Dating someone who`s a Cigarette Smoker and your not.
Posted: 11/1/2009 7:37:45 AM | Being a smoker myself. I try to always make sure UP-FRONT that a non-smoker knows that I have this habit/addiction. I personally would never lie about it. Because I do respect other people and their life styles and do not want to waste their time or mine.
Not that she would tell you the truth but, you should ask her why she answered the smoking question as "NO".
This is definitely a BIG issue for you. It has to be discussed not ignored. Unless of course you have decided by now not to date her. | |
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| Dating someone who`s a Cigarette Smoker and your not.
Posted: 11/1/2009 8:03:31 AM | I'm a former smoker and prefer a non-smoker at this juncture. However, having been a smoker I understand how some people check off no on their profile. Biggest reason, in my humble opinion, is that you'll attract more people, half (or more) of those anyway you will never meet or just have 1 meet and greet with. So what does smoking matter anyway? Someone who likes you enough won't care, or I'll be careful.. the list goes on. At no point would I consider the person a "liar" because of this. To a smoker it is no different than someone fudging on their weight or height. I recently dated a smoking liar but was way more relieved that otherwise he didn't lie about his height (which was already short). Yet as time went on he started smoking more and that was, in my mind, now a consideration. Did I want a ltr with a smoker? Not really.
Yet OP to me it sounds as if you dislike smoking even more than you dislike that fact that she lied on her profile. If my assessment is correct, then I think it's a no-brainer, break it off with her. She smokes, you hate it. Don't feel guilty about it. | |
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| Dating someone who`s a Cigarette Smoker and your not.
Posted: 11/1/2009 8:18:18 AM | I am a smoker.
*shrugs*
I am almost exclusively contacted by non-smokers. It states on my profile that I smoke. I do not, nor would I ever, lie about it. Now that being said, the last 3 guys I met didn't smoke, and so I didn't smoke when I was with them. At all. Out of respect for them.
Did they ask me to do this? Nope. Was the subject ever brought up? Nope. My ex-boyfriend was an ex-smoker..he didn't care if I smoked around him. He even insisted I smoke in his house, though I was there a number of times before I did. I would NEVER smoke in anyone's house without express permission..and if they didn't smoke, I would either wait until I left, or smoke outside. No big deal.
I love how no one bats an eye when someone bashes a smoker..someone in this thread said smoking is worse than being addicted to heroin. Really? You think so? Because I don't. I would never in a million years use heroin..it is an illegal drug, it is highly addictive (yes, smoking is as well, but NOT to the same degree at all), and obviously when people use, they get high, thus changing who they are to a certain extent. When a "junkie" doesn't get their fix they can be dangerous and unpredictable, and the withdrawal symptoms can be incapacitating..this is not true of a smoker. Yes, they may be ****y, but have you ever heard of a smoker robbing someone, or prostituting themselves just to get a cigarette? I don't think so.
Smoking is a terrible habit, no doubt. So is eating to much fatty foods and being obese. So is drinking a lot of alcohol. And on and on and on. Bottom line is, if you don't like it, stay away from it. Not rocket science.
The lady in question shouldn't have lied. That to me, is the real issue here. If it's deal breaker for you Opie, then break the deal.
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| Dating someone who`s a Cigarette Smoker and your not.
Posted: 11/1/2009 8:21:43 AM |
I`m not into "smokers" of any type which has placed a damper in our relationship. Sadly, I told her I don`t think i`m right for her and won`t be going out anytime soon.
See? Problem solved, OP. Why you felt the need to start the thread when you stated quite plainly in the O-Post that you don't want to date a smoker, though, is beyond me. Easy-peasy, no?  | |
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| Dating someone who`s a Cigarette Smoker and your not.
Posted: 11/1/2009 11:18:11 AM |
someone in this thread said smoking is worse than being addicted to heroin. Really? Heroin only causes one effect. Where as nicotine can bring you up or calm you down. Nicotine is legal and is easy to use, heroin is illegal and isn't easy to use. Anyone addicted to smoking has my sympathies BECAUSE IT IS WORSE. It is way harder to break that addiction in my experience with those I love and care about and from what the medical community has stated. Just because it is legal for adults to smoke, doesn't make it good for you...duh.... | |
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| Dating someone who`s a Cigarette Smoker and your not.
Posted: 11/1/2009 12:03:34 PM | She is evidently embarrassed that she smokes....and she is probably trying to quit......maybe,when she put herself as a non-smoker....she thought by the time she meets the right man, she will done with it...Maybe she already stopped smoking.....and that night just could not help herself.
You finally met somebody whom you like...with whom you have fun...Why do you let strangers to tell you what to do.Why don't you take her for a nice dinner and tell her....hey...I like you a lot, I would really wanted to to spend more time with you......but there is one thing which does bother me...
And my guess is, she tells you - I will be glad to stop for you....
Good luck!
P.S. Never assume, ask! | |
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| Dating someone who`s a Cigarette Smoker and your not.
Posted: 11/1/2009 1:22:53 PM | | Right i told the date this week that it bothered me and she said she was never going to quit, she has smoked all her life and not changing now for me..I think she is reducing her dating choices by 80%, cause i would say 8 out of 10 people don't smoke. | |
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| Dating someone who`s a Cigarette Smoker and your not.
Posted: 11/2/2009 4:06:15 PM | It just depends on how important to you being a non-smoker is and if you think the woman is worth putting up with the smoking I guess.
I know, me personally, can't deal with the smoking period. I just think it is a disgusting habit and couldn't live with someone and that smell being imbedded in everything. Kissing a smoker is icky to me too. | |
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| Dating someone who`s a Cigarette Smoker and your not.
Posted: 11/3/2009 11:04:02 AM | For me it depends on how much they smoke. I'll smoke a cigar every once in a great while, although I really don't care for them. Someone has a baby, you are with a group all having a cigar or some other special occasion. I don't think that classifies me as a smoker.
If I met a woman and she was an occasional smoker I might find it tolerable. I would expect that they were sincere and honest about how much they smoke. I've dated someone that smoked alot. Say 1 or more per hour. That was a dealbreaker for me. So like I said. It's not cut and dry for me. | |
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| Dating someone who`s a Cigarette Smoker and your not.
Posted: 11/3/2009 11:14:33 AM |
I`m not against smokers,but, in the same token, i don`t want to be near one either.
We didn`t discuss it any further but, i`m debating what to do next.
I lived with someone who smoked constantly. I hated it... I`m not ready to do it again...
How should i proceed with her now that she`s shown me she is a smoker?
Ummm....don't date her again?....Why one needs affirmation to their own feelings is beyond me....but I'm a smoker so you know what that means......  | |
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| Dating someone who`s a Cigarette Smoker and your not.
Posted: 11/3/2009 1:54:48 PM | ..... "realized what she was doing and as i mentioned i wasn't too pleased."
Wow. Who are you? The comment above sounds really patronizing. So you were not pleased. So? Was that her obligation? To please you?
Some guy she just met doesn't like smoke so she is supposed to be subordinate to your anal retentive wishes?
If she stubbed that cigarette out on your behalf, it would be such a tragic display of desperation. I feel sorry for her if that is the case. | |
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| Dating someone who`s a Cigarette Smoker and your not.
Posted: 11/3/2009 2:05:32 PM | You need to get off your soapbox mate.
'Smoker' is not a pejorative term. It does not denote social class, nor is it a useful gauge of intellect. More specifically, the fact that you do not smoke or like smokers does not make them inferior you or entitle you to some moral high ground.
I appreciate you don't like smoke, but to get up in the middle of dinner and leave your date is pathetic, rude, and hardly gentleman- like.
No wonder you are single. Moron. | |
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| Dating someone who`s a Cigarette Smoker and your not.
Posted: 11/3/2009 2:12:21 PM | I gotta say, smoking is a deal breaker for me. If I find out that someone smokes even just a few socially on Saturday nights, I just loose all interest. If it's a deal breaker for you, you gotta tell her. Maybe you can remain friends, maybe not. Hey; we all have standards, turn ons and turn offs.
Jen | |
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| Dating someone who`s a Cigarette Smoker and your not.
Posted: 11/3/2009 5:25:02 PM | | Smoking tends to be a turn off for non-smokers. I don't date smokers either.I don't allow smoking in my home or car. The smoke makes me sick and my eyes burn. You can smell it on them all the time. Even worse than that is lying about it. I don't understand about lying or falsly advertising one's self. The fact that the woman flat out lied about not smoking shows you she lacks integrity. | |
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| Dating someone who`s a Cigarette Smoker and your not.
Posted: 11/3/2009 5:25:40 PM | I met someone who said they were not a smoker, yet they smoke... Is it a dealbreaker? Not in the least. Some fall off the wagon. I didn't want to date a smoker, but I'm smitten and he can quit again when he's ready.
A considerate smoker who smokes outside, doesn't smell of cigs, and tastes like gum and/or toothpaste... it is do-able and I'm glad. | |
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| Dating someone who`s a Cigarette Smoker and your not.
Posted: 11/3/2009 6:54:42 PM | You 'crossed the path' into another phase of your relationship...odd...after the sex? She lit up a cig??? or something else in crossing that path? just curious... It is a 'deal breaker' for you ...why continue to see someone who lied to you?
I smoke and state I do on my profile, yet I don't smoke in my house, my vehicle, restuarants or around people who don't smoke or in general, out in public. Does that make me a closet smoker? or a considerate smoker? I enjoy my habit but seldom subject non smokers to my bad habit. I have children, I step outside to enjoy that which I like, many may not...there milage may be different.
Yes, smoking causes cancer, those of us who do smoke are aware of this but for those who wish to stand on the soapbox...do you also know, there are ingredients in your common toothpaste that cause cancer as well? The same ingredients used to clean motor oil from a cement floor are an ingredient included in the formula with what you brush your teeth with? Cancer comes in many forms...just beware when you 'think' you are extremely healthy...you find out later, you have cancer ...not from second hand smoke but from the sun or god forbid...the home 'canned' foods your mother put up while living in the depression era or something else....
Your gonna 'die' eventually and you can not predict what or when it happens but you do have the choice to avoid those of us who smoke. Happy fishing | |
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| Dating someone who`s a Cigarette Smoker and your not.
Posted: 11/3/2009 7:44:20 PM | | Hey everyone has their faults. If you really enjoyed her company - what does it matter that she smokes? Maybe she put what she did on her profile because of judgmental people, like you and everyone else that condemns a smoker. Maybe you would be missing out on a wonderful person because of one fault. Yes, I am a smoker and I would respect someone's wishes not to smoke in front of them. | |
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| Dating someone who`s a Cigarette Smoker and your not.
Posted: 11/4/2009 7:04:39 AM | As already said she lied on her profile, As i am sure many do, I know smokers have become much less , But lets be honest almost every profile I have viewed say they dont smoke... I smoke, do I chain smoke NO or in my home or anyone elses NO, Do I respect others and go away from people if I feel the need to smoke YES.
Even though I am in the process of quiting slowly, I still answered YES on my profile is it hurting the replies I get , yes, But atleast I was honest on my profile and thats what matters honesty..... | |
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| Dating someone who`s a Cigarette Smoker and your not.
Posted: 11/4/2009 7:10:13 AM | | I love people that bash smokers, I may smoke, But I use breath mints and body spray if I feel the need to smoke. More then I can say for those that drink . I am not fond of kissing a guy whos breath/mouth smells of beer. | |
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| Dating someone who`s a Cigarette Smoker and your not.
Posted: 11/4/2009 7:22:26 AM | ^^^^^....
That's what I used to think too... mints and body sprays don't do a dayyyummmm thing...actually make it even worse...
this one year smoke free, I learned a lot about my self... how I used to smell, how I used to think it was nothing...
Once you quit, after 6 months you get your smell functionality/taste buds back... then you find out how terrible you *used to* smell...
believe me, it's obnoxious, disgusting to a non-smoker... all the mints in the world won't change that.... | |
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| Dating someone who`s a Cigarette Smoker and your not.
Posted: 11/4/2009 7:28:22 AM |
^^^^^....
That's what I used to think too... mints and body sprays don't do a dayyyummmm thing...actually make it even worse...
this one year smoke free, I learned a lot about my self... how I used to smell, how I used to think it was nothing...
Once you quit, after 6 months you get your smell functionality/taste buds back... then you find out how terrible you *used to* smell...
believe me, it's obnoxious, disgusting to a non-smoker... all the mints in the world won't change that.... I've been a non-smoker for going on a year and a half now and I still love the smell of a burning cigarette... so exactly when is this distaste suppose to kick in?
Also, when I was a smoker, I worked closely with non-smokers... it came as a bit of a surprise to one of the girls that I was a smoker, two months after she and I started working on the same project and had constant contact with each other... I also had dated a man that had forgotten that I was a smoker... it was about three months into things that he realized this as he stopped by my work unexpectedly and I was outside having a cigarette... and no, I've never hidden that I was a smoker.
Not every smoker carries the smell with them... | |
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