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| An unofficial look at CS payment amounts.
Posted: 11/4/2009 7:55:30 PM | | this is absolutely rediculous to continue this thread. the facts are this...if there was no child support and no alimony the divorce rate would be next to 0% only for the women that could not stand the constant beating and abuse. Now it's easy, free and a free paycheck. EVERYONE ON THIS THREAD KNOWS THAT EVEN THOUGH YES YOU WOMEN THINK YOUR INDEPENDENT. okay if you're so independent than you don't need socialist support or a free paycheck just because you had children. now if there's no guy around then....a lot of you go to the government and shriek....hey i spread my legs and got pregnant...doesn't that count for something? no it freaking doesn't. if you leave your marriage barring the guy wasn't beating you senseless then that's your choice so you support the children on your own. this is all bullcrap. CS, alimony is all bullcrap. it's a mix of women wanting equal rights but if men still have to put up with getting financially screwed because they married you guess what? YOUR NEVER GOING TO GET EQUAL RIGHTS. ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever ever until the courts give the dads the kids and make you pay and live like crap because your man decided to screw another woman and because he has your kids and decided he wanted "some more fun" that is exactly what is happening. you all can argue it all you want, everyone knows exactly what's happening. i don't know if you all are trying to fool people or like hearing yourselves talk but we all know what's happening. this is rediculous going on for like 10 pages about what calculation to use. | |
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| An unofficial look at CS payment amounts.
Posted: 11/4/2009 8:08:13 PM | | we as men know this now. so we get wiser about it. and also we all know that i don't ever want to do that again. and let's face it, women you all have the power of the courts, the law, playing the victim over the few that actually have a valid gripe about leaving your marriage. so as men, we now understand that and CS and alimony is just welfare and we all know what happens when people get stuff for free for doing nothing! yes i'm a jerk to most of you women that left your marriage if you are feeding me your lines. so let's cut down to the brass tax on this shall we? it's a big game and we all know that fathers suck, mothers are great and that's how it is. so keep it in your pants, never make the same mistake again and look to never make this mistake again as men. we gave people too much power and it's abused. now we know different but we keep making the same mistake because...the thing between our legs. well if we thought about not doing it then we wouldn't be talking about little junior needs braces and is that considered or is she going to take me to court. so keep it in your pants gentlemen, don't date a lot and don't get yourself into this mess. it's an easy fix but no one wants to have the balls to stop screwing around. men or women. and who is screwed after the fact...mostly the responsible man. so god...this is brutual it's like everyone seeing the airplane falling out of the sky towards them but like the bright shiny colors even though it's going to crash right into them. | |
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| An unofficial look at CS payment amounts.
Posted: 11/4/2009 8:34:34 PM | ^^^Your last post is just jubberish inncsearching.....you are like many other memebers of the 'ol boys' club who don't want to grow up after having a child.
If the divorce rate was 0% due to lack of governmenmt interference in forcing child support payments...there would be alot more dead women and children...because it wouldn't be reported and tolerated like it used to be.
Your generalizations and opinions are equal to those who still hold a predjiduce against black people and visible minorities.
EQUAL RIGHTS start with both genders taking on EQUAL RESPONSIBILITIES...and I think history has already proven that the "honour" system for men paying their EQUAL share dosen't work haven't we?
I used to have some sympathy and empathy for how men were treated in the family courts...However, I am starting to think it is karma for all of the backward opinions and sheer gluttony that men still seem to spew when things haven't gone according to their master plan....karma can be a **** can't it?....
With attitudes such as you have displayed...it is no wonder judges are awarding women the majority of childsupport and custody...sometimes it really is all in the delivery.
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| An unofficial look at CS payment amounts.
Posted: 11/4/2009 8:49:26 PM | CS is for the child, some of you need to get over yourself, and as you put it insearching, about women spreading their legs, well its the dumb men that stick it in.... so guess if we didn't do that you poor guys wouldn't have much to whine about, instead you would all be whining about not getting any.....
If its not one thing it is another, some people can never be happy
It all comes back to what came first, the egg or the chicken....
women wouldn't become pregnant without the help of the men.... doesn't matter when you get divorced you aren't divorcing your children you know, they are still yours that didn't change....and never will. | |
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| An unofficial look at CS payment amounts.
Posted: 11/4/2009 9:54:35 PM |
"Children should share in the standard of living of both parents. Child support may therefore appropriately improve the standard of living of the custodial household to improve the lives of the children. Children are entitled to share in non-custodial parent's "elevated standard of living" despite custodial parent's substantially lower income. Awarding supported children a percentage of a non-custodial parent's future bonuses ensures they will share in his standard of living."
Gentlemen, let this serve as a warning.....here is what you can expect if your relationship goes sideways and there are kids involved........ESPECIALLY if you are in it a "second time around". This applies not only for your own kids, but for step kids as well in certain countries.......TAKE APPROPRIATE PRECAUTIONS!! Understand the laws before you get involved with someone, especially as it relates to co-habitation!! You could be on the hook (several times) for kids that aren't even yours!! | |
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| An unofficial look at CS payment amounts.
Posted: 11/5/2009 2:04:07 AM |
EQUAL RIGHTS start with both genders taking on EQUAL RESPONSIBILITIES
This is why our laws are a mess. This has nothing to do with equal rights, and enforcing equal responsibilities in regards to raising a child is impossible. Every parent contributes to their children in a different way. To think we can suddenly legislate responsibility when parents can no longer live together is one of the most ridiculous endeavours ever. | |
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| An unofficial look at CS payment amounts.
Posted: 11/5/2009 2:41:51 AM | Every parent contributes to their children in a different way. To think we can suddenly legislate responsibility when parents can no longer live together is one of the most ridiculous endeavours ever. ~That Guy Him~
^^^^ Okay....so please explain and give a few examples of how EVERY parent (mainly absentee DBD's) contributes to their children without paying cp?...in their own special way...err I meant in their own different way?
The only thing government can do is IMPOSE FINACIAL RESPONSIBILITY...they can't lesgislate a parent into caring or nuturing their children...
So what would your soloution be that guy?.. | |
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| An unofficial look at CS payment amounts.
Posted: 11/5/2009 4:16:32 AM |
The only thing government can do is IMPOSE FINACIAL RESPONSIBILITY
Which equates to enacting punitive measures.
they can't lesgislate a parent into caring or nuturing their children...
You're right. They can't. Yet there is also no push to ensure a child has an equitable presence in the home of a parent who provides such. Maybe when the courts start there, they will have more time to deal with the deadbeats. They're the ones who choose to fill their plate with situations they don't need to be involved in. | |
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| An unofficial look at CS payment amounts.
Posted: 11/5/2009 7:13:29 AM | ya what lizbeth says, how do they ALL contribute in their own way. My son's father hasn't seen him ever, pays not cs, does nothing. Can't see how he's contributing in anyway.
Oh wait actually I can he is contributing in making his child resent him in the future, no matter what I can say to him as he gets older. Guess u can consider that contributing. | |
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| An unofficial look at CS payment amounts.
Posted: 11/5/2009 7:50:04 AM | As to the post from Diamond from the FamilyLaw website.
- It is an American site
- It is a written interpretation and opinion of the law by the editor(s) of that website. While I'm sure a lot of it is true, it is not actual law as you would see in legal texts. | |
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| An unofficial look at CS payment amounts.
Posted: 11/5/2009 8:22:59 AM | What I find liz that you and so many others seem to think this new reality of visiting one's own child is normal. Grandparents, aunts and uncles visit.
A reality few women face mainly because for most men to even achieve sole custody and shoe being on the other foot usually means that either the mom was a crackhead and buggered off with her new boyfriend or the man was forced to spend thousands of dollars to a lawyer and still face the possibility of getting less than 50 50.
Yes I imagine that many kids will come to resent their fathers but are they the only ones at fault here? You and so many others here are taking none of the blame for picking these guys (myself included on being a bad pick I guess ) but you know I was brutally honest in what I said to my ex concerning kids, and her like other women here somehow interpreted that in their own way.
Well, when that happens it's a short term gai for women (getting the kids you want) V. the long term misery of wondering why they did what they did, always thinking they aren't contributing and why is it they don't visit when they are offered (supoosedly) all the access they want?
I think what most here don't get is the resentment they probably feel and can't shake.
I can't speak for other men here but I know I resent having to have my relationship with my own flesh and blood dictated by so many outside influences.
Meanwhile it seems no one is taking the CP's to task for anything, be it working parttime, not giving access, compromising nothing while expecting the ncp's to be totally towing the line. And you want examples of what should be?
There was a previous poster who I gave a hard time to about accepting part of the blame about her current circumstances, every post from her was a continuous deflection back to the ex. If she could have simply stated that yes she was as much to blame for it I could respect that. Instead she has decided to leave the site.
Is that supposed to be an admission of blame?
Why is accepting blame so damm difficult for you ladies? No one is saying stop loving your kids, that would be stupid, no? But I and I can see many others are just having a hard time giving any of you any respect when you keep playing the poor victim.
I am fairly sure when my son is older and has had a few relations with the opposite sex that he will see that my ex knew exactly what was going down and did nothing to stop it and basically gave up, leaving me out to dry at the hands of a biased legal system.
My situation with my son and ex would ahve been so much better had she only spoke up when she could have, instead the whole matter has been taken to a level that is still within her control but involves taking part of the blame but as evident here, you ladies seem to have a hard time with that sort of thing. | |
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| An unofficial look at CS payment amounts.
Posted: 11/5/2009 3:37:37 PM | I Posted
Posted: 11/2/2009 5 52 PM
***50hrs x $7.25 = 362.50 or $18,850 year...
One could ask why would you have children or undertake finacial responsibilities when you are barely able to finacially provide for yourself?***
I'm assuming she was married when the children came along, and between both incomes they could support the kids just fine.
GEESH...why don't people think about what they write before they write?
Geesh......but I did read ...please check the dates...before I posted...
Posted: 10/31/2009 2 54 PM
In my particular case, my ex is unemployed, refuses to find a job, and was this way for most f our marriage. (Yes, I know, how could I stay with him, how could I have 4 kids with him, yes it's my fault for staying with him, etc. etc. Please don't go into that.)
It seems to suggest she was the only one who was being finacially responsible in this marriage?....so it does not seem to support your assumption that both parties were contributing their income.....it was just hers.
You perhaps missed that statement....or....
Posted: 11/1/2009 6 53 PM
On the same note, I am not going to accept all of the blame for my marriage failing. I tried and tried. I even accepted the fact that he wouldn't get a job and tried to work around that. But I did not make him decide to get a separation and not tell me. I did not force him, or even tell him too for that matter, to go out and find himself a couple of girlfriends.
So both comments made before my post...I still wonder why someone would if being responsible would have children with someone when they easily knew the lack of finacial responsibility their partner had. or knowing that and still having children how can they expect the ex partner to suddenly change? So now the reality is the fact the guy has dumped them to go with another woman...suddenly it seems they expect something more....
hell has no fury like a woman scorned
So...dolphin....perhaps one should read a little more closely....look at he profile of the one who is doing the writing and perhaps not simply give a free pass to every woman who is complaining about what they are not getting from the ex in terms of child support?
EQUAL RIGHTS start with both genders taking on EQUAL RESPONSIBILITIES
Now that is rich coming from a single parent who is lamenting about losing her 2,000sq foot house because her part time work will not support the mortgage payments without the cs that she recieves.....but...after 3 pages..she did suggest the actual reason was the attendance in school....it just just got lost in the anguish about post cs payments....
LOL...got to love how some suggest equality..... | |
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| An unofficial look at CS payment amounts.
Posted: 11/5/2009 8:29:59 PM | [f you leave your marriage barring the guy wasn't beating you senseless then that's your choice so you support the children on your own. this is all bullcrap. CS, alimony is all bullcrap. it's a mix of women wanting equal rights but if men still have to put up with getting financially screwed because they married you guess what? ]
Spoken like a true azz!
CS & alimony have nothing to do with equal rights at all! I am far from a feminist, but I have little tolerance for the ignorant. Do you even have any idea what you are saying? God help the fools who spend any time with you. Do yourself a favor; read, go to school, get a vasectomy! | |
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| An unofficial look at CS payment amounts.
Posted: 11/5/2009 8:58:10 PM | I don't know where anyone got the idea that I was making so little money. I am the one that wrote both the statements you are quoting, before your post. We were actually doing pretty well. That's why I stopped pushing him so much to get a job. But he was also told, while I was pregnant with number 4 that my company was having a lot of financial issues and was making a lot of bad business decisions. I told him that there was a slight possibility that my job would be put into jeopardy because of this. He didn't care. He didn't make any more effort to find work than he had been doing, which was none to begin with. Then, in March, after all 4 children were born, I was laid off, with no chance of being called back, as my job had been eliminated completely. And he still made no effort to find work. That's when we started struggling. I had about 1/2 the money coming in in the form of an unemployment check every week. That's also, coincidentally, when he decided he wasn't happy anymore, because I was too angry all the time.
I have since burned through all of my vacation pay, severance pay, and all of my savings trying to keep up with everything. So yes, I would like to see my ex contributing something to this. I would like to see him step up to the plate and accept some responsibility for his children. But as I have said several times, I do not ever expect to see a dime from him. So now I have to go from being financially independent to filing for family assistance, daycare vouchers, and all the other government aid programs that I absolutely hate. And when I do, those government services will go after him. And when he gets too far behind, whether he has a job or not, he will go to jail, because that is the law here in South Carolina. | |
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| An unofficial look at CS payment amounts.
Posted: 11/6/2009 6:20:03 AM |
So now I have to go from being financially independent to filing for family assistance, daycare vouchers, and all the other government aid programs that I absolutely hate. And when I do, those government services will go after him. And when he gets too far behind, whether he has a job or not, he will go to jail, because that is the law here in South Carolina.
Perhaps what we need to know is how they determine levels for an order for child support from someone who isn't working. Child support here is based on your income. What is it based on in South Carolina? Here they would impute an income for someone who's unemployed based on earning potential. Since he's never worked in the first place, it would be difficult to impute an income because his track would say his earning potential is $0/year. That's not to say there wouldn't be a support order put in place, but how do they determine the level in SC? | |
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| An unofficial look at CS payment amounts.
Posted: 11/6/2009 9:43:34 AM | Maybe they do as in many other places, assume what he is making as there is no possible way he is making $0 a year. (unless he is a homeless person living on the streets) How else does he eat, live, etc. That is how they tend to do it here, only way they can get out of it really is if they are on assistance and they still set an order all be it for $1 a month if they have to so that there is still an order should he get off of assistance.
One thing here though, assistance has a two year limit so people either get off of it....or they look for a job.
Most places also have a cut off limit for income such as in my province its about $9000. And it is on earned income, not welfare if they choose to use it and not work. | |
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| An unofficial look at CS payment amounts.
Posted: 11/6/2009 10:04:19 AM | I am not completely sure how they work it. I know they base it off of his income and if he does not have a job, a judge will order him to get a job. After that I am not sure how it will work. If they use earning potential, he has a degree in computer programming. And every time I am on the computer looking for work I tell him about all the jobs I see that are in his field and he doesn't do anything about it. He is just downright lazy and refuses to grow up.
As far as how he eats, that is another story. For the most part, he lives off of his girlfriend. She buys his cigarettes, got him a cell phone and pays for it, drives him around in her car or lets him driver her car. And provides some of his food. The rest of his food comes off an EBT card (food stamps) that was applied for before he moved out. Because he was still living here he at the time and the fact that he can't apply for it himself until the next time I have to recertify for this one and can get him taken off of it, he feels he is entitled to a portion of the money on there. He uses the amount that we got on the card specifically for him being the house. Now before any of you start blasting me and telling me I am crazy for letting him do that, it has been a huge argument between us and not one that is going to go away. On top of that, since our kids do spend time over there he does need to provide meals and food for them over there. | |
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| An unofficial look at CS payment amounts.
Posted: 11/6/2009 10:07:40 AM |
For the most part, he lives off of his girlfriend. She buys his cigarettes, got him a cell phone and pays for it, drives him around in her car or lets him driver her car. And provides some of his food.
He must be good in the sack...
sorry, lol. Had to say it.  | |
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| An unofficial look at CS payment amounts.
Posted: 11/6/2009 10:15:38 AM | Well, I do have 4 kids with him. I guess that must say something.......
Seriously though, it's actually kind of scary watching him from a distance. She is doing exactly what I did for him when I first met him (minus the kids and wife situation). Seeing it from this point of view, I can better understand why my family were a bit reluctant, to say the least, to like him in any way. And far, from hating her (although I have my moments) I feel sorry for her, because he is doing to her the exact same thing he did to me. and she will end up in my situation. It is really scary to see history repeating itself from this perspective though. | |
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| An unofficial look at CS payment amounts.
Posted: 11/6/2009 11:54:30 AM | Yeah, there is a reason why there are sayings about history repeating itself and how past behavior is a prediction of future behavior.
I see the same thing with my ex in her most recent relationship. I kinda feel sorry for the guy even though I really just want to laugh at him and say "Sucker!". I fell for it when we were young, no kids, on our way up and no bad background to go off. He's going for it with all of this history showing her poor behavior patterns. | |
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| An unofficial look at CS payment amounts.
Posted: 11/7/2009 1:04:14 AM | Now that is rich coming from a single parent who is lamenting about losing her 2,000sq foot house because her part time work will not support the mortgage payments without the cs that she recieves.....but...after 3 pages..she did suggest the actual reason was the attendance in school....it just just got lost in the anguish about post cs payments....
LOL...got to love how some suggest equality.....~Tealwood~
^^^Love the cherry picking of posts...it is amazing how you can take three and four different responses from 3 and four different people to validate your little vengance fantasy that every woman is a contemptuous evil vixon!..Wow...I could make you look like George W Bush if I cherry picked your posts from several different threads....cut it out...your showing you level of maturity here...I think it is time for you to sit in a time-out for a few posts..perhaps you could then focus on the whole picture of this discussion....
Yes I imagine that many kids will come to resent their fathers but are they the only ones at fault here? You and so many others here are taking none of the blame for picking these guys (myself included on being a bad pick I guess ) but you know I was brutally honest in what I said to my ex concerning kids, and her like other women here somehow interpreted that in their own way.
Well, when that happens it's a short term gai for women (getting the kids you want) V. the long term misery of wondering why they did what they did, always thinking they aren't contributing and why is it they don't visit when they are offered (supoosedly) all the access they want?
I think what most here don't get is the resentment they probably feel and can't shake.
I can't speak for other men here but I know I resent having to have my relationship with my own flesh and blood dictated by so many outside influences.
Meanwhile it seems no one is taking the CP's to task for anything, be it working parttime, not giving access, compromising nothing while expecting the ncp's to be totally towing the line. And you want examples of what should be?
There was a previous poster who I gave a hard time to about accepting part of the blame about her current circumstances, every post from her was a continuous deflection back to the ex. If she could have simply stated that yes she was as much to blame for it I could respect that. Instead she has decided to leave the site.
Is that supposed to be an admission of blame?
Why is accepting blame so damm difficult for you ladies? No one is saying stop loving your kids, that would be stupid, no? But I and I can see many others are just having a hard time giving any of you any respect when you keep playing the poor victim.~wonderingsole~
^^^^I find those comments to be very interesting wondering....It really is all in perception isn't it? I would have thought that more men who actually have the balls to take the stance you and other's have really should and could have put more time and effort into reading and comprehending the very basic moral values that I have seen many single mother's convey in their posts on this thread alone....
What I have a difficult time seeing in these forums especially, are men who feel it is their right to demean Single Mom's by way of their personal posts just because you guys think all single Mom's belong in the same social class or belong to the same stats and demographic.
With every action, there has to be a reaction....and the cycle will continue in a never ending circle when it comes to adults who are more committed to bouncing the ball of emotional and finacial responsibility for the kids back and forth...especially after that relationship ends.
So let's take the victim mentallity out of the debate...that both sides seem to have (but view differently) along with the control issues I know both opposing parents feel at one time or another and try to turn this discussion into a positive thread?
I want you to propose an example of what a fair equalization would be for a mother with 2 kids who has stayed home for 12 years to raise them and hasn't worked outside the home until the last 3 years at a part-time job..FYI....she was married for 16 yrs...
(not me...my bbf is going through this atm) | |
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| An unofficial look at CS payment amounts.
Posted: 11/7/2009 3:03:22 AM | Val, why? 24 hours would have been too much time spent on that dude.. Was his dvck made of gold?
See ladies, if we dont hook up with losers, we wont have to worry about child support or lack thereof when we bear children.
And on the flipside, men, if you rubber up, or commit to any kids you choose to have, you wont have "the evil women" asking you to (gasp) help support your own offspring.
a lil off topic: Bout 2 weeks ago a young man ahead of me in line at Walgreens was buying condoms, as i was a lil tipsy (it was fantasy fest) i wished him a very nice night with a wink and smile, he laughed and said "gotta be safe, lady, gotta be safe".
And this young man was probably 18 or 19, maybe 20.
What got me though, was the cashier asked for his ID to purchase the rubbers. What in the heck for? Would she (or walgreens rather) rather have a unwanted pregnancy, have this young man saddled with child support, and potentially a fatherless child?
He was doing the right thing, buying rubbers, much props to him, even if he was under 18 he has the right to have access to birth control.
rather than just carelessly casting his seed and letting the fate f his fatherhood fall in the hands of some evillllllllllll women who might have had the audacity ti want him to support that cast seed. Ugh i gotta write walgreens about that it made me hot under the collar. | |
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| An unofficial look at CS payment amounts.
Posted: 11/7/2009 5:05:13 AM | You know sweetness, you are on to something there. One of the most nerveracking things a teen bot can experience is buying condoms, WHY?
Right up there with that walk across a dance floor to ask a girl for a dance.
So liz, who initiated the divorce procedings? Not much info but I will take a stab. Married the guy right out of college, him - good looking and landed a decent job right out of the gate.
He spent 60 to 80 a week at work and she started the lets have kids thing. I have said this before and will say it again that men will agree to kids to make mates happy and to keep the poon happenin'. So ladies if you interpret this as he will become ward cleaver out of the gate its really too bad we can't get instant replay on real life because then you would see that you made a judgemnet call and rolled the dice.
He got promoted and power and money tend to skew a persons morality a bit so this lead to either him banging his secretary or some tart who figured she would get him to leave the wife and take her away. Am I close?
Honesty moment here. When I got a job as a club manager for a comedy club chain my Q rating went through the roof. Cool job, never waited in line for other clubs in town and felt a tad like a celebrity. Needless to say the job and a relationship were becomming conflicted because the offers of sexual favours and parties came rolling in.
I gave in once, but once was enough to know that if you want that life be single.
Trouble is that not enough guys will do this and they do end up in 16 year relationships before they get that status that attracts stray in heat females.
Meanwhile, she got swept up in the disney movie scenario of perfect kids, perfect hubby, perfect house and gave up her career. Lots of faith considering the numbers ( and we all know you guys hate stats) and now do we blame him? Her?
The little piece on the side?
She rolled the dice and her odds of catastrophy increased with the addition of every new child. She had less and less time to devote to the man who was busting his hump paying for this life she so desired and he felt neglected in his own home and sought it elsewhere.
Talk about history repeating, only these days it spreading out too.
Trust me liz, having a hard time being proud to be guy these days myself.
I have two nephews who feel it justifyable to leave the kids with gramma every other weekend, both raised by single moms. One is working overtime on the weekend he has his kids but his motivation is that he is working on baby momma number four and he needs to buy a new car for that, hence the overtime. Besides when his fourth child comes along she take care of that one too for it seems that he isn't a big fan of condoms or he always manages to find women who aren't either.
So it doesn't really have anything to do with economic strata at all, it has to do with blind faith that says kids are only something to worry and plan over after they are born and not before.
Women have a lot more to lose and if your friend feels her lifestyle should continue after the divorce is wrong, she rolled the dice and lost. End of story. | |
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