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| An unofficial look at CS payment amounts.
Posted: 10/30/2009 12:15:32 PM | | Not trying to be an ass here, but it seems like a lot of the posters in this thread are or have been on welfare. What's up with that? | |
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| An unofficial look at CS payment amounts.
Posted: 10/30/2009 12:29:30 PM | | I was on it temporarily when I left my ex as I only got to leave with 2 suitcases and almost due to have a baby.... what else was I to do at that time. As I said only temporary, not there anymore, but I do know that many of the women who leave their spouses do not do it for monetary gain as who wants to leave what we had for that? | |
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| An unofficial look at CS payment amounts.
Posted: 10/30/2009 2:24:55 PM |
Not trying to be an ass here, but it seems like a lot of the posters in this thread are or have been on welfare. What's up with that?
sometimes people need the help. When this all started for me I had a 2 day old and a 15 month old and lost my job because the 2 day old could not go to daycare and needed me. So yes I did go on welfare and am not ashamed to admit it. I also worked all my life and have been paying into that system I had to ask for help from. | |
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| An unofficial look at CS payment amounts.
Posted: 10/30/2009 4:34:56 PM | A story I thought I would add....
A women that has 2 children 100% full custody and a man who was making $40,000 per year as a computer nut went to family court . The BC courts ordered that the dad paid $550 for child support. Shortly after, the dad decided he wanted a career change. He wanted to start up his own business in land scape design so he went back to school for a year to learn about his interest's and after he was finished he started his own business.
He was making -
previous years $40,000 as PC tech
Yr 2 $10,000 while at school
Yr 3 $9,000 business start up
Yr4 $15,000 In business
Yr5 $17,000 In business
Yr 6 $18,000 In business
The father had not paid any child support during this time and was in arrears approximately $40,000. He went back to court and tried to have his amount owing lowered due to his lowered incomes. The judge looked at it as he was deliberately under employed and still had the full potential to be making $40,000 per year, so no changes were made to the amount owing in arrears or any future amount.
True Story.
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| An unofficial look at CS payment amounts.
Posted: 10/30/2009 4:48:39 PM | ^^
Sounds to me like the judge didn't beleive that he wanted a career change, and thinks he changed his career so he could be making less and ask for a decrease in c/s.
It's really hard to get c/s lowered regardless, because it's the child's money and most judges don't like to take away money from the child if they can help it. | |
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| An unofficial look at CS payment amounts.
Posted: 10/30/2009 7:23:39 PM | What makes you think that a non custodial parent would want to work at a difficult and demanding job just to fork over a sh*tload of cash to thier nasty ungrateful ex? That would sap anyones career ambitions if the more money they made the more thier nasty ass ex would get. I never heard a custodial parent that was happy with how much money they got they always wanted more more more.......
If the fathers automatically got full custody and the moms would only get to see the kids everyother weekend and would have to pay all that child support I bet 99.9999 % of women with unplanned pregnancies would have abortions because having that baby would ruin her life. But most women think nothing of ruining the fathers life because she gets the kid and the cash. | |
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| An unofficial look at CS payment amounts.
Posted: 10/30/2009 7:37:48 PM | | To provide the best for his /her kids. I know lots of custodial parents that are happy with what they get, it's the ones that aren't getting any help that aren't happy and someof them don't care about the money either. And then yes, there are those that want it all and more. | |
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| An unofficial look at CS payment amounts.
Posted: 10/30/2009 7:41:46 PM | All this BS about 'ruining the fathers life', god please, you do the dance, you throw the dice, you get one past the goalie, too freakin bad, suck it up. Next time don't play the game.
Hpotters - you really have NO clue do you? Because getting knocked up just to get CS is every womens fantasy life. Go through and actually READ peoples stories, find ONE person here that is just in this for the money. If you do, I'll apologize. If not, shut up. That pretty much goes for the rest too that are going on and on about how single moms are trying to screw over their exes, that they are all baby factories to rack in the millions in Govt benefits and cs payments. Give your head a shake, walk a mile in their shoes.
(Single mothers also refers to single custodial fathers too, just in it to rack in the money, but statistically the bashing on here is one sided).
Everyone has a story and shouldn't be painted with a wide brush. You have NO clue what people have gone through to get where they are today. | |
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| An unofficial look at CS payment amounts.
Posted: 10/30/2009 7:46:30 PM |
Not trying to be an ass here, but it seems like a lot of the posters in this thread are or have been on welfare. What's up with that?
Pretty wide brush, We could put up a thread about installing a car seat in a BMW 328I and the issues in it, and we would probably ask why are there so many people earning 40K+ posters in the thread?
My guess is that the people having issues are getting screwed over from their ex, took the chance to make a better life for them and their kids, and needed help at one time.
(And I didn't think you were being an ass, just too wide a brush) | |
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| An unofficial look at CS payment amounts.
Posted: 10/30/2009 8:01:29 PM | | I got rid of it, and got a minivan. I couldnt fit the big stroller, umbrella stroller, playpen, diaperbag, and box of toys in the trunk. | |
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| An unofficial look at CS payment amounts.
Posted: 10/30/2009 8:02:18 PM | HPotter
Its not just about the ex's. I have come across many of custodial parents that don't want nor need the support money. The judge however see's things differently and orders CS regardless if the custodial parents wants it or not.
In my situation I am going to have a hearing soon and my main objective is for Custody and access. The support part is way down on my list of what is truly important to me.
I am however interested in how the whole legal thing works just because of the mere fact that I don't have a choice when we stand in front of the judge and neither does the ex. | |
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| An unofficial look at CS payment amounts.
Posted: 10/30/2009 8:34:00 PM | I looked at an suv, but the van carries more crap. Its getting old now and I'm debating what to get currently. I've asked the little one, but all he says is 'car ride daddy?'.
(not to hijack..) | |
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| An unofficial look at CS payment amounts.
Posted: 10/30/2009 8:47:27 PM | Not trying to be an ass here, but it seems like a lot of the posters in this thread are or have been on welfare. What's up with that?
As a woman that doesn't recieve welfare or child support I thought I would chime in.
I've been avoiding this forum because I really don't like this topic. It's always about the bitterness about having to "pay" your ex for your child. But yet cs is child support but if the woman is seen as spending money on herself she's not using the money in a proper way even though maybe her last pay check she spent entirely on the child.
CS is a necessity because unfortunately those that are irresponsible and left to their own conscious wouldn't pay a dime towards their own child.
I've never been on welfare, I didn't even take maternity leave even though I was entitled to it. I almost however did face bankruptcy, I almost did end up losing everything, I did take a huge pay hit and I did get left with a ton of debt. I've worked 50 hour weeks having 7 day work days ontop of being a stay at home mom. And I've done it all without a dime in CS from my ex.
Our daughter was planned but I don't need a dime from that man. If it means keeping him out of our lives I'm happy to have him gone. He would just find someway to cheat, hide the amount of money he makes and why all to keep me from spending money on myself? I'm sure that's how he justifies it. Even though I can't remember the last time I bought myself anything. I spend all my extra money on my daughter after bills and the cost of living. My daughter doesn't go without I make sure of that. Everything that my daughter has/needed I have bought on my own.
When I had my daughter I was signing up for extra expenses. I realized that I would be losing a portion of my income to my child's needs (sports, clothes, education bonds) and probably eventually braces as I had them. These are just the things every good parent should do without begrudging it. My parents never complained about spending their money on me.
Right now I have over $3000 in education bonds for my daughter who isn't even 2 right now thats more then mommy has in her bank accounts at the moment. Would cs make my life easier yes but I'd rather not deal with it. To me its just not worth fighting over it because it seems that in the end no one is ever happy? But I'm happy knowing I'm doing the best for my daughter on my own. | |
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| An unofficial look at CS payment amounts.
Posted: 10/30/2009 9:55:39 PM |
HPotter
Its not just about the ex's. I have come across many of custodial parents that don't want nor need the support money. The judge however see's things differently and orders CS regardless if the custodial parents wants it or not.
In my situation I am going to have a hearing soon and my main objective is for Custody and access. The support part is way down on my list of what is truly important to me.
I have doubts...and I am sure you will not find anyone here who will believe that you would ever stand up and tell the judge I do not need the cs and i am not interested in the cs. But I have known a couple of custodial dads who have done it....so it does happen.
next year...I will be applying for a divorce and as part of the application I will not be asking for cs nor will I want it..and in fact will refuse to accept it. It has been or will be over 7yrs where I have been seen and acknowledged as the primary custodial parent.
I am however considering she be required to pay part of the educational costs of post secondary education...but have not decided if the effort..the potential issues it will bring up are worth the legal investment.
Tax credit does not make any difference , then why you oppose it when I suggested that the CS payer should Get it We have already discussed this. There is no such credit for $9600 or the $2000 you had mentioned in other threads. Just ask any parent or non parent here.
Sorry but as a custodial parent....I have claimed it for each of the taxation years I have been a single parent. I would use 2008 but I never did get the electronic copy...but the 2007 year...bold as brass.....Non-refundable tax credit line 300 $9600 and line 303 $9600 (spouse or eligible dependant) used to be called equivalent to married ...
And then line 367...$2,000 Amount for children.....TAX CREDIT
Now if you have not used these easily understood and available tax credits ...whose problem is that?
Many people live in apartments, not houses. It takes a down payment to have a house. If you live in an apartment, you may have to upgrade from a 1 room apartment to a two room apartment, because you need a room for the child. That's a significant rent increase.
And that increase cost would also be required for a non custodial parent who wanted to be a significant part of his child's life both today and long into the future...
But like many other issue's Soulman you seem only fixated on the plight of woman...yet you claim...
I am family-life education professional.
That would suggest understanding and compassion for both households....yet the only interest you ever seem to hold is for the mother...Soulman ...never sure if it is based out of your feminist orientated university education...or you hope it might attract some action?
Montrealhttp://www.canadaimmigrants.com/Montrealiving.asp
Average Rent for Two-Bedroom Apartments in 2007
$647.00 per month
Source: Canada Mortgage and Housing Corporation. 2007.
Now for 2009 that is up to $668.
http://www.louer.com/montreal-apartments.htm
or
Apartments in Montreal
The advantages of renting an apartment in Montreal also make it difficult to find the right one. Services such as Louer.com will greatly help in your search, however rent prices and location are important to consider.
One can expect to find a one-bedroom Montreal apartments for approximately $600 to $800 CDN per month, and between $700 to $1200 CDN per month for a two-bedroom apartment. Of course, these are just average prices, and they may vary depending on a number of factors (number of rooms, quality of apartment, nearby services, etc.).
Without a kid, you can manage very well on public transport. Some people with kids have no choice but to manage on public transport even though it's hell to do so, because they don't have the money. A car is expansive as hell, if you include the cost of the car, insurance, license, registration, and gas, not to mention repairs. With a kid, especially a infant who must be transported in a special crib, you may not have the choice to get a car.
I would suggest that having a child does not then give you an allowance or a free pass to buying a car. But then that reasoning would also suggest the non custodial father also needs a car when he picks up his child or children for his access time...or are you suggesting that this is only worthy for the custodial parent...or the weak not capable woman?
But a fully capable fully responsible parent would not have children if they could not afford the necessities? Would they?
If the logic is that it takes two parents to adopt a child, then two lesbians or two gay parents are a couple, just like a heterosexual couple.
And second, single moms ARE allowed to adopt, in many states, certainly in more states than the number of states that allow LGBT marriages, for instance.
That remark stinks of homophobia.
It does stink of homophobia....but many of your statements stink of a self serving desperate attempt to find approval from woman...or simply a misandrist ....
I happen to not hate my ex. I happen to feel it important that one leaves non custodial parents dignity as well and a home where they can also enjoy or be a family. Something that you Soulman seem uncaring and uninterested in exploring or conceding.
but you have suggested
- Children need AS MANY responsible, caring, nurturing, attached ADULT role model as we can provide them while they grow up. Two is better than one, yet three would be better than two, and so on. These attached adults can be anyone, not just the biological parents, so long as they create real bounding relationship and act as models. Not "role" models - simply models.
Yet you assume the woman is finacially not capable of earning an income and the father is to be the finacial provider. I always advocate that both parents work full time and equally provide for their children...leaves out the Lizzie....the one who works part time and would struggle to maintain her 2,000 sq foot house without the cs she derives from her two children...the two children who supposedly expressed interest in living with dad and who will not until dad gets a court order.....
I have seen many NCP Dad's suggest that they share the tax deductions to maximize or gain the available tax credits available....how sad is that?....It all comes down to dollars and cents dosen't it?.....NCP's dollars and the CP sense....
Decisions based on dollars and cents seem to go both ways....even though after numerous posts...you did come up with not going to school...as an after thought?
Tealwood
LOL...what happened to your arguement about they both earned $2,000 per month or $22,000 per year...or $24,000....and then went to the fall back $80,000 and $20,000?
These were two different made up scenarios, try to follow the conversation will you.
No problem following the conversation...nor doing some of the math...but what would your suggestion be with the mother earning the $80,000 and the non custodial father earning $30,000.....based on the legal requirements he still pays cs....
A women that has 2 children 100% full custody and a man who was making $40,000 per year as a computer nut went to family court . The BC courts ordered that the dad paid $550 for child support. Shortly after, the dad decided he wanted a career change. He wanted to start up his own business in land scape design so he went back to school for a year to learn about his interest's and after he was finished he started his own business. The father had not paid any child support during this time and was in arrears approximately $40,000. He went back to court and tried to have his amount owing lowered due to his lowered incomes. The judge looked at it as he was deliberately under employed and still had the full potential to be making $40,000 per year, so no changes were made to the amount owing in arrears or any future amount.
True Story.
And not a problem with that premise....another true story guy in Ontario who was a tool and die operator but hated his job and the life. After he separated from his wife he quit and went back to school to be a teacher...the courts would not allow his cs to be rolled back while he was in school so he could retrain himself..suggesting it was his responsibility to finacially provide for his children...again not a problem with this premise.
yet they do not have this finacial expectation for woman going to school?
I know for a FACT that any and all daycare expenses and extra cirricular activity expenses paid by the NCP are tax deductable for the father if he chooses to pay them according to the equalized calculations.
CHILD CARE EXPENSES DEDUCTIBILITY
In certain circumstances of shared custody the higher earning spouse may in fact be able to deduct child care expenses. Again, the deductible of these expenses can be highly beneficial. The maximum claim for a child under age 7 for child care expenses is $7,000 per year and it reduces to a maximum of $4,000 per year for children over age 7.
These expenses must be paid for child care, nursery school, day camp, or an educational institution.
So must thank you on this point Liz as a few years ago it was not possible...only the mother or custodial parent was able to claim the child care expenses....but i have been told the extraordinary expenses were different. There is also something about if the non custodial is paying child care and the custodial is not capable due to school or illness...but otherwise any daycare costs are not deductible.
But feel free to prove me wrong....I tend not to review as often the tax deductions of
the non custodial.... | |
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| An unofficial look at CS payment amounts.
Posted: 10/30/2009 9:59:57 PM | | Tealwood about that credit, it had kept coming up as V_C was trying to make it like we were getting this back in a cash payment. We argued this back and forth for a day or so and he was very adamanat that it was a cash payment, not just a credit you use on your income tax return for deductions, if you get what I am trying to say. | |
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| An unofficial look at CS payment amounts.
Posted: 10/30/2009 10:19:59 PM | | I agree that there are large tax credits out there and I have received them - my ex gets a large share of them though. No, he does not see it in a cash payment once each year, but the credit is figured into the amount of cs that he pays. I am pretty sure that most states do this. His cs payments are 2000 less each year because of the $4000 that I receive. Basically, he gets half. | |
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| An unofficial look at CS payment amounts.
Posted: 10/31/2009 6:59:23 AM | CS is a necessity because unfortunately those that are irresponsible and left to their own conscious wouldn't pay a dime towards their own child.
I disagree. It was put in place as an attempt to punish those who are irresponsible, but it is far from a necessity. Read the thread... as you can see, the only thing it has been successful in doing is dividing people and creating animosity. Those who are responsible will take care of their children, child support order or no. Those who are irresponsible will not only take from their children, but from mine because my taxes are paying for these ridiculous courts and collection agencies trying to hunt these people down. If you ask me, I'd rather have my taxes help the children who actually need it than pay for the "justice" system that pretends to care.
The courts aren't ordering child support because it's needed, they've created child support as a means of job security, because there's always a shitload of people out there who feel entitled to someone else's money. | |
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| An unofficial look at CS payment amounts.
Posted: 10/31/2009 8:39:56 AM | ^^^^^He is exactly right the lobbying that helped construct these laws were pushing the agenda of a small percentage of men, I know becuse I had seen patments set up to family members 25 years ago that were set voluntarily.
Now without an agreement set by the couple all cases are apt to be sent to each provinces agency and as we know those table mean squat and are left to a judges discretion.
Now if the agencies here in Canada have been given judicial powers suspend a license or throw a non payor in jail without a court appearance they shoud also be separated from the family court system in order for them to adjust at a faster pace.
I cannot understand how a judge can be any more able to determine adjustments than an accountant. Tax papers and paystubs are pretty much easy to read.
And what is worse is that all cp's seem to have no problem turning every company controller into just another piece of the lopsided laws we have now.
What tealwood points out is true, there are no instances here in canada of any woman having her license suspended for non payment because it hasn't happened yet.
You see the hypocracy when a province spends millions of dollars in commitees to change an entire set of laws to collect that only is being done for 37 cases of non payment. A maritime province I will find which one but I am pretty sure it was new brunswick.
And this continuous argument of one of the boys crossed the line or it takes teo is really getting tired when you consider that there are many women laughing at you when you use it.
Many women when asked why they take bc will tell you two things. They didn't want to be parents and those women that tell you different are lying or are stupid for not using them right.
The whole idea that any woman can get herself impregnated and collect for 23 years has to change. But as can be seen here as long as the cheques keep coming and they get the kids there is no problem.
You might think I am bitter at my ex but it the system that pisses me off and the simple fact that there so many women that still allow it to be that way simply because they aren't the ones getting screwed over. | |
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| An unofficial look at CS payment amounts.
Posted: 10/31/2009 10:53:35 AM | I have been leaving my personal opinion out because I didn't want to be flamed, but here goes.
I agree that the child support laws are unfairly biased in favor of the women and often times the women are winning because of there sex and not by merit.
Child support should be tax free for the sender not the receiver like it used to be.
I agree with a previous poster that the child support should be at a set amount and not go up and down with the wages because like some one else posted out, it doesn't cost $1991 a month to raise a child.
I agree that the child support system has helped to create problems in the family life and made it easy to shut out the fathers.
I believe that it is the responsibility of both parents to support the child and I appreciate the courts going after dead beats.
I believe that the system was set up because of the dead beats but unfortunately the nice guys/gals get sucked in to a system designed for dead beats.
I agree that there are custodial parents that are abusing the system, its no different then any other system out there. some people abuse welfare, Some abuse workers compensation, some abuse disabilities pensions, some people are very good at taking advantage of all kinds of different systems, But they are only a few, most of the people that need them truly do need them.
I keep hearing over and over how the custodial parents are selfish, they are only looking at it as a cash cow, the ex took me to the ringers, the ex this, the ex that. I rarely hear non custodial parents saying, The courts are this, the courts are that, the judge was a ____. Like I already previously said its not entirely the custodial parents fault that the non custodial parent had to pay the amount they had to pay. When we stand in front of the judge whether either parent wants it or not the courts order child support automatically.
I can't quite figure out why the non custodial parent automatically takes a grudge to the custodial parent. It should be towards the courts after all the custodial parent cant make an order. | |
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| An unofficial look at CS payment amounts.
Posted: 10/31/2009 11:37:43 AM | In my situation I am going to have a hearing soon and my main objective is for Custody and access. The support part is way down on my list of what is truly important to me. I have doubts...and I am sure you will not find anyone here who will believe that you would ever stand up and tell the judge I do not need the cs and i am not interested in the cs. But I have known a couple of custodial dads who have done it....so it does happen.
I never said I'm not interested. Every case is different. I am in the low income category and it would be nice if he helped me out. I have asked him in the past to buy a bag of diapers and nothing else, but he couldn't even do that.
I did say that it was low down on my list, not off my list. That's my personal situation, I cant talk for any one else.
Sorry but as a custodial parent....I have claimed it for each of the taxation years I have been a single parent. I would use 2008 but I never did get the electronic copy...but the 2007 year...bold as brass.....Non-refundable tax credit line 300 $9600 and line 303 $9600 (spouse or eligible dependant) used to be called equivalent to married ...
And then line 367...$2,000 Amount for children.....TAX CREDIT
I'm well aware of the base amounts when filing taxes. The argument in another thread, that was deleted, was that V_C claimed the custodial parent gets that amount in the form of a check when filing taxes.
No problem following the conversation...nor doing some of the math...but what would your suggestion be with the mother earning the $80,000 and the non custodial father earning $30,000.....based on the legal requirements he still pays cs....
Since they don't look at the mothers income in Canada he would still have to pay $280.00 a month for one child in BC or $270 in Ontario. Making the father do his part regardless of the mothers income. | |
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Posted: 10/31/2009 12:17:15 PM |
I'm well aware of the base amounts when filing taxes. The argument in another thread, that was deleted, was that V_C claimed the custodial parent gets that amount in the form of a check when filing taxes.
I did not get that from what V_c was trying to say. I understood that his point was; it was equivalent to cash... because it was that much less in taxes that the claimant would have to pay out.
I find all the arguments about a child's share of rent, bills, etc ridiculous... they are not self sufficient. Children need around the clock care and supervision for the first
part of their lives. A parent has a child/children and needs shelter, food, utilities for the proper care of said child(ren).
If I were a single unemployed female what would my options be? I would be free to live in a bachelor suite with roommates if that's what it took to survive or, live on the streets, live in my car... sadly some kids are living in such conditions as well but, maybe they would not have to if both parents held some more responsibility. | |
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Posted: 10/31/2009 12:55:44 PM | CS is a necessity because unfortunately those that are irresponsible and left to their own conscious wouldn't pay a dime towards their own child.
You misinterpeted what I said.
CS is a necessity because unfortunately THOSE that are IRRESPONSIBLE and left to their own conscious wouldn't pay a dime towards their own child. If everyone was responsible there wouldn't be a need for CS. If everyone did right by their child the government/courts would not have to become involved unfortunately this is not the case. You say it was a way to punish these people no it is a way to make them do what is right. They should be punished for abandoning their child.
I was referring to the people that are irresponsible for their children, the ones that abandon their responsibilities for the family they took part in making.
Why do we have laws? Because we need them for the order of society. We need jails because we need to punish people that break laws that hurt other people. They are not nice but they are a need just like CS is a need because it was/is a problem that does exist.
People should be able to act as adults and divide the costs of the child equally but this is not typically the case. If people would be RATIONAL and RESPONSIBLE then maybe we could do a way with the current system that has created a lot of animosity and division and bitterness. But unfortunately for now it is A NECESSITY EVIL. Because until people are accountable for their actions then all of society has to be on the hook. You know how one bad seed spoils the bunch. Its kind of like that. I would have been more then willing to work out a deal with my ex but I wasn't going to have him threaten to take me to court especially when I was studying family law.
Social Reformers did see a need to press these kind of laws through because even though some men might have been willing to pay there were a percentage too that just abandoned their families.
What if I wasn't able to work from home, teach piano lessons. What if I didn't have my education and wasn't able to provide for my daughter on my own? What if I needed CS? My daughter should just go without because her dad is an @$$? No the government/courts should have the ability to go after that man. He was responsible enough to make a family he shouldn't be able to just toss aside the family he made and go on and have another child (which he has anyway).
Now I'm not saying the system is not without major issues but isn't it better then nothing? and having no means to make people not pay? We had that before and what happened were children ended up in work houses/orphanages.
The people that are responsible do pay their cs. They make sure their childs needs are taken care of first because they love their child. They often even pay more then they have to. It is a choice to be bitter and one that will eventually effect your parenting skills.
You think I wouldn't use CS for my daughter? Sure I would. I'd work less so that we had more quality time together and really can you put a price on that? I would use it for awhile to pay for my daughter's food, necessities, and extras that I have been paying for since she was born. Do I regrett spending money on my daughter? No. Its the one thing I enjoy spending my money on.
Would be interesting to see what my ex would have to say if he was posting on these kind of forums. But seriously would he admit that he's a deadbeat dad? I don't pay my cs, I haven't seen my daughter in over a yr, I didn't send her anything for xmas/her bday? Yeah what person is going to admit that on these forums??? Just like I'm sure you won't see any single moms admiting they missuse their cs.
Lot of people didn't initially support universal health care in Canada until they need it too but Tommy Douglas saw it as a necessity that all Canadians should have. Why did Canadians vote Tommy Douglas the greatest Canadian in history even above Wayne Gretzky, Terry Fox, Pierre Trudeau, Sir John A Macdonald? Social reformers see a problem and try to fix it. They don't always get it right but what is the alternative?
The comment about a baseline flat for cs? Really? think a child that is enjoying the benefits of living in a upper middle class should be reduced to living in a lower living standard? Kid goes from a nice home to the slums? Yeah doesn't seem quiet fair. The Courts try to look at the best interest of the child because that is what is important the child. The adult is the adult and should be accountable to their child. The adult can always go without, the adult can always work more to provide for their child the child shouldn't have to. If you can't make that kind of committment to your child don't have a child.
I will always pick up extra hours, teach more piano lessons do what I need to do to make sure my daughter doesn't go without but that was the decision I made when I decided I wanted a child.
My ex wanted to see me lose everything. When I almost faced bankruptcy I begged him if he could send me some money for formula, diapers (this was before I took him to court). I'm a proud woman but I had nothing. I had to get a credit card just to buy formula because I was so stressed that I stopped producing milk. Yeah that was really fair to me. I will never ask him for anything for our daughter again. Our daughter was a child he wanted one that was planned but unfortunately he failed to tell me that I would be supporting her on my own. Because it wasn't what I was signing up for. I thought we'd be sharing the costs to make sure our daughter didn't go without. Foolish me.
To be honest cs kind of gives the person their dignity back because seriously how belittling is it if you are constantly having to beg your ex for some money for your child? Anyone think of it that way? It's very demeaning and not something I enjoyed doing and am glad I don't have to do it anymore that now that I'm back on my feet. I'm thankful that I don't need cs and don't need to fight over it. | |
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