|
|
|
|
|
| Are all men potential rapists?
Posted: 10/31/2009 8:58:33 AM | GRRRRR. 
What part about the FREQUENCY of this are all these men NOT GETTING?
THAT is the WHOLE point!!!!!
We have building codes to reduce hazards caused by known risks. We have babysitting courses for kids, self-defence classes for women, we take swimming lessons so we don't drown, we take boating safety and road safety tests so we don't run people and things over- FOR GOODNESS SAKE !! STOP KNOCKING WOMEN DOWN FOR WANTING TO PROTECT THEMSELVES FROM HUMANS OF YOUR GENDER.
SO WHAT IF YOU ARE NOT A RAPIST! SO MANY OF YOU ARE THAT WOMEN WOULD BE STUPID TO PRETEND IT IS NOT A RISK TO THEM TO GO OUT WITH YOU.
How can you POSSIBLY object to something so sensible?
You know if a guy really hates the idea that women might consider him a potential threat, maybe he could play a part in CHANGING that. By talking to men everywhere in all his networks about how terrible a crime rape is. By supporting tougher sentences for rape. By supporting women in defending themselves. By choosing non violent ways of resolving our differences. By acting as good role models for young boys - Big Brothers whatever. By funding research, rape crisis centres and men's counseling programs.
Or you could just blame the victims instead of the rapists. Like THAT hasn't been done before.
(stomps off soap box with disgusted expression) | |
|
| Are all men potential rapists?
Posted: 10/31/2009 9:38:29 AM | thank you deb...i concur
question for parents.... ever worried about your kids "getting raped", ever taken measures such as driving them to and fro instead of having them walk alone to ensure your child's risk is minimized?
To those offended, stop for a second and look at the whole picture, think of the woman versus the whole world of men not just you.
I agree, we shouldn't paint all men with the same brush
I agree, we shouldn't let fear run us
I agree, it is insulting to "good men"
Yet I ask... how far down do you want our guard to be so that it is not offensive ?
A fact is a fact.... rape happens anywhere, anytime
women do what they can to minimize their risk and carry on with life.
There is so many forms of rape. Victims mainly are females. But,...boys,girls and yes.. men too are victims as well. If we say there's a potential let's do something about it like deb says. Bring awareness that it is not acceptable. educate the current and future generations. give credit when due, etc
I truly wish instead of taking it personal and be offended..... show understanding and compassion.
This wouldn't kill a mood. | |
|
| Are all men potential rapists?
Posted: 10/31/2009 10:15:44 AM | Is the question not "Are all men potential rapists?" ????
All this back and forth is ridiculous as there is no "winning a debate about the stats of rape and who does what.
The answer is NO. How can I be so clear about that? Quite simply because I am not capable of it.
Case closed | |
|
| Are all men potential rapists?
Posted: 10/31/2009 11:57:08 AM | ^^^ point well made tigress
as has been mentioned before one aspect that causes the defensive/offensiveness is the reference to all
another aspect is when rape is mentioned that most generally think a man committed the offense against a woman, which is another generalization , though best I know possibly factual and a logical reasoning
Man the offender, woman the victim leads to gender prejudicial thinking on both sides. Like racism each side reasons to support their cause
in this case the arguments are amplified by the generally known differences of reasoning between men and women, the latter usually more emotional
In this case though men do also react sensitive as the allegation of rape touches the personal integrity of a man
to make that point understanding the feeling/insult of integrity I intentionally used the word slut before, which is offensive to women and causes a defensive mostly emotional resentment.
However difficult it may be when debating a topic pike this we all must at least try to overcome personal experiences and biases and acknowledge things as they are. That is that humans, male and female in general have the capacity to commit crimes of violence and for that reason our social structure includes rules (laws) to protect prevent and punish.
We also need to put into perspective the percentage of violent crimes and compare to sex related, not to belittle one versas the other but to get an understanding. The other aspect is to look at society and how it (the law) deals with crimes of violence and how certain trends of thinking change and influence judgments.
If we are favoring non-violence then all offenses causing bodily harm should be treated equal and the most relevant factor of sentencing should be pre-meditated and the degree of injury caused.
Surely most who have been a victim to theft or B&E do know that it feels like a personal violation, of course far less than an assault or rape.
Without doubt, rape is a horrid crime with long term impact and emotional trauma for the victim, but anyone who suffered a physical assault is effected as well. Each individual victim deals with the after effects different, some may overcome while others do not.
The real issue is how a society and its laws deal with prevention and punishment of crime.
IMO, we are very much softened in allowing too many excuses for the offenders in particular when it is evident the offender is aware of the conduct and consequences.
 | |
|
| Are all men potential rapists?
Posted: 10/31/2009 12:07:40 PM | in this case the arguments are amplified by the generally known differences of reasoning between men and women, the latter usually more emotional
...It appears to me that generalizing is a human condition...and neither gender is free from making them...
...and that if you read ten different studies, you will come up with ten different sets of statistics...
...and the whole issue is about why we need to walk alone in fear as humans.
All humans have the potential to be anything, given the right (or wrong, really) balance of nature and nurture and circumstance. Not one of us can say that we are not capable of anything, had we not lived a different life. We may not be able to imagine being so, from the viewpoint of our own lived experience, but put us in a different place and time, the outcomes may be different...and that is just pure logic. | |
|
| Are all men potential rapists?
Posted: 10/31/2009 1:20:15 PM |
It appears to me that generalizing is a human condition...and neither gender is free from making them..
agreed on all points.... didn't try to argue any particulars, simply trying to avoid one sided view and look at crimes of violence and society in a general way
doing so I assume readers understand that a general viewpoint always has exceptions and is only a trend indicator.
Moving into any particular exception any person brings to the discussion and responding individually to it we lose sight of the actual topic and dealing with each of the countless points will usually lead to reactive behavior rather than a proactive one.
Rules/laws of a society are made on particular trends to set a general direction and guidance of acceptable behavior. | |
|
| Are all men potential rapists?
Posted: 10/31/2009 1:54:43 PM | I think I see your point in post #100 debra2008, and I agree that being on the cautious side is a good thing for women now that I've read what I've read.
If a woman I met on here told me she wanted to meet in a public place now, I wouldn't take the sentiment as personally as I did before. The thing is that I like the women I spend time with to feel comfortable and (of course) safe and when that isn't the case, I feel as if it somehow reflects negatively on me, as if I've done something wrong or inappropriate. Alternatively I can take it as a sign that we just aren't connecting vary well and that the right thing to do is just to bugger off and leave her to her own business.
So when the woman I'm trying to flirt up and get together with says "I think you might rape me so I'm making sure that can't happen", I'm going to take pause. If she is a whole lot more subtle then that, I'll likely just wince involuntarily, remind myself that such a sentiment is healthy, even if it may be disconcerting and just go with it. | |
|
| Are all men potential rapists?
Posted: 10/31/2009 1:56:28 PM | I havent really read any of this thread.
I wanna say that rape is not about sex. It is about power. Everyone wants power over something in their life. | |
|
| Are all men potential rapists?
Posted: 10/31/2009 7:02:55 PM | Well being of semi-logical mind, (even if apparently ruled by emotional reasoning being of the feminine gender and all) I had to find SOME stats to peruse.
This link was very informative:
www.elitecanada.com/pdfs/cnd_rape_stats.pdf
Not sure what to make of it all yet, but it sure lends creedence to the argument that if given the opportunity and guarantee of no penalty, that a scary amount of men would accomplish the deed.
It was also interesting to note that in different studies 45 to 50% of women reporting sexual assaults were under the influence of drugs and alcohol.
Does this mean that men think they can get away with it more when females are inebriated? Or does it mean that women take greater risks? Perhaps both... | |
|
| Are all men potential rapists?
Posted: 10/31/2009 8:56:29 PM |
Or you could just blame the victims instead of the rapists. Like THAT hasn't been done before.
Hold up there kiddo, are you saying that non-rapists being grouped with rapists because of their gender are not victims?
What are your thoughts on women being passed up for promotions/good jobs because they could all potentially become pregnant and go on maternity leave?
The latter is not even a fraction as bad as the former because of how terrible rape is. | |
|
| Are all men potential rapists?
Posted: 10/31/2009 10:05:42 PM | ^^^
…non-rapists being grouped with rapists because of their gender… women being passed up for promotions/good jobs… The latter is not even a fraction as bad as the former…
The latter affected entire generations of women. The former is rhetorical. It will pass. | |
|
| Are all men potential rapists?
Posted: 11/1/2009 9:02:30 AM |
STOP KNOCKING WOMEN DOWN FOR WANTING TO PROTECT THEMSELVES FROM HUMANS OF YOUR GENDER.
Ummmm,,,,we're not knocking no one for their "wants" or needs or whatever. Start slamming half the population thou( which "I" am a part of) to fulfill those "wants" or needs,,,and you will get a few that will stand up and tell you that your full of crap. But I guess what you are saying is that how you, as females, have to gain your wants or needs,,,,that it's okee dokies, generic you will be. I submit to you, generic statements,,,will NOT fulfill these "wants" of yours, no matter what you think. But hey,,,,don't listen to me,,,,I'm in that "potentially" bad half.
SO WHAT IF YOU ARE NOT A RAPIST! SO MANY OF YOU ARE THAT WOMEN WOULD BE STUPID TO PRETEND IT IS NOT A RISK TO THEM TO GO OUT WITH YOU.
^^^^^^ Thou you may not know it,,,,this statement alone speaks volumes,,,,,in "so many" ways. Now it's a "risk" to go out with men??? Or would you mean men that you "don't know" (meeting from a dating site,etc)???? Thinking to myself here,,,but I'm wondering what the percentages of men that are "known" to women who have been raped are???? Hmmmmm. Oh,,,,that "so many of you are" statement just doesn't sound so true to me either."you",,,,as a male,,,,correct????? These are the types of statements that do not attract the help that I am sure you believe you need in your quest. Reaks of ignorance. WHO(as a group) are YOU (as a group)trying to reach with these types of statements????
You know if a guy really hates the idea that women might consider him a potential threat, maybe he could play a part in CHANGING that.
Would that be by walking into a room and volunteering my services to a group of women that believe a statement that says "all men are potential rapists"???? Yeah,,,,I'll get right on that. There is more than one example where men have been pushed away in the female quest for "empowerment" just because,,,well,,,they ARE men,,,don't ya know. I do "play my part" daily,,,,,,in my belief in the golden rule. I teach it. I live it. I believe in it. It's called respect. Start slamming me with generic statements which includes me,,,,,well get ready to get it back. Gotta problem with that??????? If ya do,,,,well,,,,that's YOUR problem,,,,and I suggest you figure it out.
It's not the quest that we are questioning here,,,,,it's the tactics that are now being used. It's a failure quite a few make in their search for empowerment, no matter what the "cause". Throwing half the population into one "potential" basket not only fails in the education process (you're only reaching "your" half right now),,,but it fails you in making the world a little safer for your gender. That IS what you are TRYING to do,,,,no?????? | |
|
| Are all men potential rapists?
Posted: 11/1/2009 9:06:44 AM | but I'm wondering what the percentages of men that are "known" to women who have been raped are????
I believe in the stats that I have checked out anyway that it ran from around 68 to 73%, or in other words, the greatest majority of rapes happen with men that are already 'known' by the women.
Edit: To women who live in fear:
Walking in fear makes you a target with a neon sign on your back. That is simply the law of the jungle and the law of the streets. Empower yourself. Be aware. Take simple self-defense courses that will provide you with the internal fortitude to hold your head up and know that you have the power to defend yourself and the awareness to not put yourself in dangerous surroundings/situations. It is a much more proactive approach to your safety than trying to tame the beast. The more women stand up and fight and report, the less the crime will be. It is a vastly undereported crime. People (notice I said people) will get away with what they know they can. It is human nature.
We need the decent men to support us in this journey, they are key players in showing the bad ones that this will not be an acceptable way to treat those with less power. Don't alienate them.
| |
|
| Are all men potential rapists?
Posted: 11/1/2009 11:54:04 AM | Well, I wasn't going to wade in on this... There is a reason that rapists, child molesters and other sex offenders are kept in separate institutions. The "regular" prison population would reap their own justice if given an opportunity. So, even the die hard male criminals are offended by this behavior. I taught my daughter to treat every male as a potential rapist, just like I never let her overnight at a friends unless I was very aware of her parents and the circumstances. I think the whole point of this thread is that people need to be aware of their surroundings and the potential risks. I have no doubt there are men on this site that are into power over women....meaning yes, I'm sure there are potential rapists on here as well! (and child molesters) I have no issue with a woman meeting a man in a public place and that's what I would recommend if a woman I care about is meeting strangers on a site like this. I don't believe that the threat of incarceration or other punishment will stop a man that is of the rapist mindset. There is no magic cure for these types of people and I would support castration in some circumstances. Time and time again, rapists are released from prison only to re offend....
I know that I could never rape anyone under any circumstances, but that doesn't mean a woman shouldn't suspect me of being one....be careful out there kiddies! | |
|
| Are all men potential rapists?
Posted: 11/1/2009 12:19:44 PM |
I taught my daughter to treat every male as a potential rapist,
I'm gonna ask,,,,,what do you think you have done teaching a young one this kinda thought process????? TREAT EVERY male ????? I guess that's why women walk around like they are neutered nuns nowadays.
Empower yourself. Be aware. .......
It is a much more proactive approach to your safety than trying to tame the beast.......
We need the decent men to support us in this journey, they are key players in showing the bad ones that this will not be an acceptable way to treat those with less power. Don't alienate them.
Sorry about only taking bits and pieces,,,but I do have say,,,,get this,,,,I'm AGREEING with the mindset of Anicca(other than the statement of "less power" unless of course you are referring to the "physical" part,,,but even then,,,there are some women I wouldn't want to confront in wrastling match.)THIS thought process will help in the end,,,if there is such a thing. | |
|
| Are all men potential rapists?
Posted: 11/1/2009 1:36:22 PM | | Well I guess I meant that I taught my daughter to be careful....and walk softly and wear a life jacket when she gets into that boat. It's a fact of life that there are male predators out there and woman have to be aware of that fact. I didn't teach her to be scared of all men, but I think it's prudent to develop a few safety rules. If you think that a woman should just assume that your a safe to be around kind of guy, your delusional. | |
|
| Are all men potential rapists?
Posted: 11/1/2009 4:13:16 PM |
Edit: To women who live in fear:
I read some of the statistics annica mentioned and I can't quite figure them out, because stats do not always show what one wants to see but the intentions of those who created them...perhaps I'm somewhat naive in my thinking here....
fear isn't really a positive thing to live with and I agree fearful or even paranoid persons do show their weakness to the predators tuned into this behavior, perhaps equally so to that of an innocence of sorts as well.
IMO awareness, alertness and cautious behavior are more productive.
Both genders have inherent differences in sexual behavior.
Men who become sexually aroused to a "point of no return" tend to turn towards one sided thinking/acting to complete the"mission" and may include their physical superiority (not excusing, it just is)...end up in a potential rape scenario
Women interested in male companionship may display their femininity and act in an arousing way, teasing, with or without intentions to engage in sex....end up in a potential rape (victim) scenario.
I understand we all know this, not much new, but we do not necessarily govern our conduct in accordance, add alcohol as additional input then what may for either one have been a controllable situation ends up in disaster.
IMO these types of rape are possibly more common than the ones caused by the weird/sick/mentally ill against which there are few preventative means other than acting assertive being alert. | |
|
| Are all men potential rapists?
Posted: 11/1/2009 9:30:46 PM | | I really could not have said it better Walt. Because I work with these pieces of sheeet, msg #85, I was really P.O.d and reacted in disgust and anger at such a horsebleep statement. You responded wonderfully in a way that was incredibly well thought out, and conveyed in a manner where common sense, as I believe, prevailed. Well said Walt. | |
|
| |
| Are all men potential rapists?
Posted: 11/3/2009 2:55:44 PM | | All men are potential rapists? Obviously, that's nonsense. Perhaps the original poster meant men have the capabilities physically to do so, but as far as the majority of men are concerned, our conscience tells us otherwise. The liberal judicial system give rapists and pedophiles a slap on the wrist these days. If it were up to me, they'd all be exterminated! | |
|
| Are all men potential rapists?
Posted: 11/3/2009 11:04:14 PM | I read in the Province newspaper an article in which Aurea Flynn, speaking for Vancouver Rape Relief and Women's Shelter claimed that all men are potential rapists.
Whenever I see these sensationalist, alarmist, and generalized wide-sweeping Claims I know they always want something like more Funding, Support, etc.
They are not here to educate, they always want something. | |
|
| Are all men potential rapists?
Posted: 11/3/2009 11:10:53 PM | ^is that the Province paper or the Rape relief and Women's Shelter? Those who print the article or those responsible for the comments? I agree they want something...the women that is...funding, education, change, increased awareness, rape relief? the Paper... sensationalism no doubt. I disagree with the tactics, not with the needing or wanting something  | |
|
| Are all men potential rapists?
Posted: 11/3/2009 11:46:36 PM | ^^^ Exactly, and by using these Tactics they negate their Credibility, thus I'd reject them, appealing to the less brilliant Sectors of Society, at the Expense of a particular Public -- Men.
Let's smear them all so we can get more support. Thus I feel they are not to be trusted.  | |
|
| Are all men potential rapists?
Posted: 11/4/2009 4:00:49 AM | | Yah, I don't like the tactics that promote lack of trust without qualifying why a woman needs to always exercise caution. However, as you wouldn't want the readers of that article to read only on the surface, perhaps there are many members of the group that weren't happy with that statement either? | |
|
| Are all men potential rapists?
Posted: 11/4/2009 9:17:54 AM | | Hell anybody can be a potential something. It's really a question of who has the ability to make rational decisions over bad decisions. It's hard in most cases to see that in the beginning. If two men try to pursue a certain woman and she clearly isn't interested in either one, then they have a decision to make. 1. decide it isn't worth the hassle and move on or, 2. decide you don't care and take it by force. One man may take option 1 and the other may take option 2. Clearly the man who took the first option is obviously the smarter one. And probably, when the woman they were pursuing met them in the beginning, she probably was clueless from the start. She probably had no indication early on of the decision EITHER man would take if she rejected both of them (sometimes, they do meet creepy guys who make it obvious in the beginning that they could be trouble). That's why women have to sometimes be EXTRA careful in the dating game. It's the uncertainty in the beginning that they worry about. | |
|
|
| Page 5 of 6
|
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 |
|
Home
login 
