| Would a Woman date a Man if she had a higher salary than him?
Posted: 10/21/2009 4:26:36 PM | How is this thread at ALL misandrist?
How is ANY statement made here at ALL misandrist?
Oh, you saw it on "the news". Really? [hey-- is THAT a "logical stance", in your opinion, OO?]
Oh, then on the news *I* saw that men fake ballooon rides for their kids in order to garner publicity for themselves.
[See how that works--just cuz it happened ONCE--or even a few times-- doesn't mean it's endemic. To me, it's NOT AT ALL LOGICAL to pull out the most fantastic and outlying happenstances and serve that up as "proof" that "most people are like that".] | |
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| Would a Woman date a Man if she had a higher salary than him?
Posted: 10/21/2009 5:48:42 PM |
Funny how a man with that same kind of expectation would automatically be considered an unromantic cheapskate by most women.
I'm not most women. I feel all over the age of like 13 should learn how to cover their own crap. Gender has nothing to do with it. I expect to cover my expenses, and I tend to be attracted to those with my mindset, so fair is fair. | |
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| Would a Woman date a Man if she had a higher salary than him?
Posted: 10/21/2009 6:09:27 PM | First off, I wouldn't even meet someone who wanted to talk about salary or their income....before we meet?
Date a man, I have, and unless and until it's a serious, involved relationship meaning very few and far between...it just doesn't happen. When it does, when I'm just talking to someone and they throw around numbers........my profession is accounting I deal with some of the BS on a day to day basis. And have done tax returns for decades, I always have some type of convo prior, then when it comes down to it....neither impresses me. I'm just doing my job, so the windbags....if I'm doing their tax return..it's hot air. I've learned that even further by doing tax returns for people I work with. It's a revelation, but it's confidential, they trust me with it and I keep it that way.
The money issue, IMO gets blown out of proportion.....Donald Trump was "bankrupt" (it's a no go, not the money, but the hair combover...couldn't get past that shyt!)
It's about responsibility, IMO, and intelligent money management. That affects so many aspects of anyone's lives, so that filters down into other aspects.
There are people (men/women) who can have a huge income, but be on the verge of bankrupcty unneccesarily (usually).
I manage my own well...of course that's my profession, and why people who own businesses pay me to manage theirs.
Bottom line (funny from an accountant...ugh) money management is a life skill like so many others. A person either manages it or it manages them. Not that different from the basic life management skills. | |
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| Would a Woman date a Man if she had a higher salary than him?
Posted: 10/21/2009 6:12:16 PM | "Are Men willing to date or marry a woman who is successful and hard-working?"
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A woman I dated once who made a lot of money told me "water seeks it's own level" ...meaning most women want a man who makes as much or more than they do. I used to think it would be nice to date a woman who made a lot of money. But from my experience, the more they make the more they want. Women who make a lot of money want to eat in expensive restaurants, take lavish vacations, want expensive homes, cars, etc. They get bored easily and don't like casual dining, pizza, bbq, or fast food and think 'the golden arches' are something you put in your shoes! | |
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| Would a Woman date a Man if she had a higher salary than him?
Posted: 10/21/2009 7:10:17 PM |
If we have children, and he lost his job, I wouldn't be too comfortable with him taking on being a stay at home dad. I would prefer for the both of us to work. But if it came to a point where we didn't have much of a choice, then I'd go with it.
Just as long as he's actually LOOKING for more work in the process of being a stay at home parent.
But what about expensive day-care? Why is it not okay for the husband to be a stay-at-home parent in our society? | |
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| Would a Woman date a Man if she had a higher salary than him?
Posted: 10/21/2009 7:16:23 PM |
As long as he covers his own expenses, it really doesn't matter what he makes. .
I guess traditional Gender roles are still ingrained with women's views on men - they expect a man or Husband to be at least employed or make equal amount as shown in some of these responses. Women don't seem to accept if a man is willing to be a house-husband. | |
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| Would a Woman date a Man if she had a higher salary than him?
Posted: 10/21/2009 7:23:49 PM | I guess traditional Gender roles are still ingrained with women's views on men - they expect a man or Husband to be at least employed or make equal amount as shown in some of these responses. Women don't seem to accept if a man is willing to be a house-husband.
AGAIN, you got the wrong woman - I don't think I'd live with a guy so his expenses wouldn't be my problem. However if I did - and we're both able to work, why would one of us sit home and make the other one pay bills? I wouldn't sit home if I could make money, so I don't see why a guy I lived with wouldn't. It's not a gender thing, it's a guy who does what I do thing.
Both can live (or date) at the level of the person who makes the least amount and bank the rest. Duh!
You want to talk gender roles? When women sat home as housewives years ago it was because for the most part they had to. Men don't now nor did they ever have to depend on women to support them, so why would they? | |
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| Would a Woman date a Man if she had a higher salary than him?
Posted: 10/21/2009 7:43:09 PM |
When women sat home as housewives years ago it was because for the most part they had to. Men don't now nor did they ever have to depend on women to support them, so why would they?
I think Most women stayed home by choice because they chose to raise their children full-time. Many women today also stay-home to raise their children full-time. It was the necessity of child-rearing and not the necessity of work.
It would be seen as shameful for a Husband to allow his wife to work and need the duel income, if he wasn't able to support the family himself. Its about the balance of raising children/working and not a Woman's choice to work because she WANTS To.
No one works because they Want To. Most people work because they Have to. | |
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| Would a Woman date a Man if she had a higher salary than him?
Posted: 10/21/2009 7:55:07 PM |
I think Most women stayed home by choice because they chose to raise their children full-time.
That's convenient thinking.
I'm talking back in the day a lot of women couldn't work and had to marry or live with their parents forever. Women that did work usually only worked part time while their kids were at school - if their husbands were ok with it. That never existed for men - they worked if they wanted to and weren't forced to sit home and raise kids. They had a choice to marry and have kids or not. Bachelors weren't seen as big a deal as unmarried women without children after a certain age.
NOW women can choose whether to marry, have kids, and work. Years ago they didn't always have that choice. Men did.
Many women today also stay-home to raise their children full-time. It was the necessity of child-rearing and not the necessity of work.
Now they have the CHOICE to, so if they do it, they do it because they want to.
It would be seen as shameful for a Husband to allow his wife to work and need the duel income, if he wasn't able to support the family himself. Its about the balance of raising children/working and not a Woman's choice to work because she WANTS To.
It was a dynamic of the past. Just because these women didn't work didn't mean they didn't want to - just because these women had kids didn't mean they wanted to...lot of people in the roles they were groomed to fill didn't always like em.
No one works because they Want To. Most people work because they Have to.
I'm not sure where you live but many people would work even if they didn't have to, because they enjoy it. If you like what you do and you make money doing it - there's no reason not to want to work. | |
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| Would a Woman date a Man if she had a higher salary than him?
Posted: 10/21/2009 8:05:34 PM |
There seems to be a lot of female profiles on here who have "stay at home mum" in their profession field. But it seems most of these women are not willing to date an unemployed man.
I'm confused now....profiles with "stay at home mum" and the "stay at home mum" is on a dating site...ummm...who is paying the bills?
As far as a "stay at home dad" goes....if daycare (including gas to and from, and all related expenses) is around the same as the income that will be lost.....I think it's a great idea.
"Stay at home parent" is a JOB like any other job...... | |
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| Would a Woman date a Man if she had a higher salary than him?
Posted: 10/21/2009 8:17:18 PM | | I never had children or a wife, though I have had a few serious relationships. I cant really qualify because we both always work. I can say one time when I went on unemployment and was off during the summer a few weeks, just taking it easy. She got mad that she was working and I wasent. I had a lot of unemployment built up and wasent rushing to look but was taking my time. I just wanted a few weeks taking it easy before going back to work, kind of how the teachers get the summers off. Maybe teaching would be a good thing. Anyway she never recovered and never understood and let it go. | |
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| Would a Woman date a Man if she had a higher salary than him?
Posted: 10/21/2009 8:50:00 PM | It wouldn't bother me at all, as long as he's gainfully employed.
If he's on disability, it would depend what else he does to contribute to society (such as part-time work or volunteering).
If he's retired - he's put in his time, but hopefully he is volunteering or pursuing a hobby (or both), not just being a couch potato.
If he's temporarily unemployed because of downsizing - I've been there myself - as long as his "new job" is "finding a job", I'd be OK with it.
If he's staying home to take care of the kids - more power to him, but I am not interested in raising somebody else's kids, so I wouldn't date him. Just my own preference as I don't want kids at my age.
BUT...if he's an unemployed, lazy bum who doesn't do anything constructive - NO WAY will I go out with him. | |
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| Would a Woman date a Man if she had a higher salary than him?
Posted: 10/22/2009 6:09:22 AM | I think attitudes are changing. I personally know a couple stay at home dads, one who's wife is a doctor, and the other's wife is a big wig at Ford. Last weekend a friend who is a financial planner and her husband a truck driver stopped by for coffee.
There are a lot of examples like this. | |
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| Would a Woman date a Man if she had a higher salary than him?
Posted: 10/22/2009 7:50:03 AM | NOW women can choose whether to marry, have kids, and work. Years ago they didn't always have that choice. Men did.
I'm not sure where you live but many people would work even if they didn't have to, because they enjoy it. If you like what you do and you make money doing it - there's no reason not to want to work.
I guess we'll have to agree to disagree on the past. I believe that most Men who worked NEEDED to because they had a wife and kids to support and the Men were expected to be the sole breadwinner. Additionally, there were more physical labor jobs that were suited for men and bachelors, so that everyman could get a job if he was physically capable of working. Jobs and Economy have changed the great deal in the last 50 years. With more office and white collar jobs, women with college degrees can move up easier and quicker.
I don't think Men and Women had much of a choice before when it came to raising a Family. Especially before the widespread use of contraceptives, if a Man or Woman wanted to date, they eventually would get married and have children. Now I'm sure if the couple were farmers, the husband would be around the house more, and the wife would participate in the field work.
Its not a man or society's fault that prevented women from working. It was the various jobs and industries that were created that changed the dynamic of home and family life. As the demand for physical labor decreases, women have greater opportunities to advance in the workplace if they have college degrees.
Being a stay-at-home mom is a Luxury, especially in present day. If the husband can provide for the family on one income, that is a luxury. Even in the past, if a couple needed dual incomes, it meant that they were poor. Working, farming, etc. isn't a choice when not earning a paycheck means starvation or homelessness.
As for not WANTING to work, I think most people would prefer vacationing or enjoying their hobbies. IF their work is closely aligned with their hobbies, then more power to them, but I think people would also rather spend more time with the kids and family instead of working, as well. | |
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| Would a Woman date a Man if she had a higher salary than him?
Posted: 10/22/2009 8:47:44 AM | Ok I will answer this topic honestly now.
If I was married right now and made enough money to cover the household expenses and my husband wanted to stay home with the kids I would have no problem with it. I would rather have my kids with their dad then send them to day care.
Now when I was married I stayed home for 3 yrs with my daughter. It was wonderful and I am glad I did it. I need to work again because ,I needed to be around adults and we needed the money also. I worked part time when I went back to work. Slowly went to full time. Plus, my daughter need to play with other kids als0. It was good for all of us.
Now when my daughter was born and my husband said I want to stay home and take care of her instead of me and my salary covered the expenses I would of said. Yes. I see no problem supporting the family with my job.. Marriage is a team it doesn't matter who makes more just as long as the bills get paid. | |
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| Would a Woman date a Man if she had a higher salary than him?
Posted: 10/22/2009 9:22:54 AM |
Are Men willing to date or marry a woman who is successful and hard-working? Will a Man be able to adjust his ego?
OP -- D00d...what does ego have to do with anything? I mean, really.
My ego is so vast it's almost its own entity now. Just gotta teach it to read and write and I'll be set. So it wouldn't need or require any adjustment at all. If she made good money, and far exceeded my earnings why is this a bad thing? Why does ego factor in? Who comes up with this crap?
Women are just pissed off that they are now expected by society to be contributers outside the family home. No longer socially expected to be the proverbial Stepford Wife/Stay At Home Mom...but now expected to be breadwinners too. They whined so long about being oppressed and "held back" by the man, and by society and that they were denied all the fantastic benefits and opportunities to better themselves outside the home...that now when they get what they want, they have the gall to b!tch about THAT now.
Too f*cking bad. Wah.
They wanted it, and they got it. They saw this grass that was so much greener on the other side, and like with everything else...once they got there, they realized it was astroturf over a swamp. Wasn't even real. Now they wanna whine and pout that they are being expected to be at work instead of at home with the family. This is seeing a trend of more stay at home Dads now, and the women are all up in arms about how much money they're "wasting" to keep the house moving. How they work and work and work and they have little to show for it at the end of the day once bills and such are taken care of. No money left over for them.
Welcome to our world ladies. Enjoy it. You wanted it.
Even funnier still is the threads that have popped up recently about the topic of stay at home Dads, and is this a situation that women would like or prefer. Almost unanimously they decry it. Whine and piss and moan about being expected to be the provider while Dad stays at home raising the kids. Epic double standard.
Soon as the shoe is on the other foot - they're looking for different feet.
If a man is gonna stay at home to raise the family and Momma's out bringing home the bacon...they better get used to it. It ain't gonna change back any time soon. If they don't like it, blame all those that came before them for ruining the dynamic. Can't have your cake and eat it too. | |
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| Would a Woman date a Man if she had a higher salary than him?
Posted: 10/22/2009 10:50:20 AM |
But what about expensive day-care? Why is it not okay for the husband to be a stay-at-home parent in our society?
I was only speaking for myself. I didn't say it wasn't okay in general.
As I've said before, I more than likely wouldn't mind if my SO was a stay at home father, say if he had lost his job. But don't expect me to continue being the bread winner while he stays home to babysit our kids.
I would also like for him to look for work. | |
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| Would a Woman date a Man if she had a higher salary than him?
Posted: 10/22/2009 11:19:31 AM |
Women are just pissed off that they are now expected by society to be contributers outside the family home. No longer socially expected to be the proverbial Stepford Wife/Stay At Home Mom...but now expected to be breadwinners too. They whined so long about being oppressed and "held back" by the man, and by society and that they were denied all the fantastic benefits and opportunities to better themselves outside the home...that now when they get what they want, they have the gall to b!tch about THAT now.
Seriously?
Historically, women have always worked. Schoolteachers, usually women...Secretaries, usually women...Nurses, usually women...
During the wars, while the men were doing battle....women took up the slack, and provided "comforts of home" in the way of home made care packages for the soldiers as well.
During all this time, were all these women single, with no kids? I highly doubt it.
My married sister....after she had my nephew....opted to put him into daycare, because she couldn't stand being at home all day. It had nothing to do with money, her salary wasn't that much higher than what she paid to daycare. She said her brain was turning to mush...... | |
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| Would a Woman date a Man if she had a higher salary than him?
Posted: 10/22/2009 12:09:21 PM | ^^^^ You're right, the stay-at-home wife was an aberration, a luxury reserved for the few women who were able to marry well, to get trophy husbands - something previously only royalty and the aristocracy could have. The irony was that just as this luxury was being made routinely available to more than a majority of women, the whole thing was twisted around by the Betty Friedans of the world into some conspiratorial oppression of women on the part of men, into a melodrama centered on female resentment rather than considered appreciation for the accomplishment it represented.
Just like it's twisted now for women to try and make their reluctance to support men/fathers as really being about their feigned concern for men's egos, it's supposed limitations, etc.
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| Would a Woman date a Man if she had a higher salary than him?
Posted: 10/22/2009 12:10:16 PM |
Women are just pissed off that they are now expected by society to be contributers outside the family home. No longer socially expected to be the proverbial Stepford Wife/Stay At Home Mom...but now expected to be breadwinners too. They whined so long about being oppressed and "held back" by the man, and by society and that they were denied all the fantastic benefits and opportunities to better themselves outside the home...that now when they get what they want, they have the gall to b!tch about THAT now..
I know a lot of women who are smart and talented, but in reality, in my opinion, working kinda sucks. Its far better to not work and spend time with the family and kids. A lot of "smart" women and educated women I know are actually deciding to be "Full-time mothers" and leave the workforce. It will likely ruin much of their careers and salary potential, but that is a choice they made. | |
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| Would a Woman date a Man if she had a higher salary than him?
Posted: 10/22/2009 12:14:42 PM | ^^^This thread assumes all women WANT to be wives and mothers. A lot of women in the workforce may not have kids, or husbands or both - because it wasn't ever their thing.
The key word here is "choice". The movement was supposed to be about choice, so women could choose to work or not, to marry or not, to have kids or not. It was supposed to allow women to have the option of not going with what society felt they had to do.
I know some mothers who want kids but don't feel like going thru the husband thing and are able to afford AI - so they're going that route. I know some women who are living with guys they don't want to marry and they don't want kids.
The bottom line is it should be about what an individual couple wants in their own relationship. | |
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