| A Very Ugly Situation - What Would YOU Do?
Posted: 10/21/2009 12:25:14 PM | | But, you want to nip it in the bud before it becomes an issue. He heard it so now it is a problem. You don't want her coming in his office complaining that this man is bugging her when you could have stopped it. | |
|
| A Very Ugly Situation - What Would YOU Do?
Posted: 10/21/2009 12:27:02 PM | | yarimelma....if you go back and actually read ALL the posts....not a single person said anything about "firing". All the suggestions have been about discipline. | |
|
| A Very Ugly Situation - What Would YOU Do?
Posted: 10/21/2009 12:29:04 PM | Yarimelma,
Please keep some tact. I'm actually a director of a performing Company.
Like I said earlier, you just need to be sure to document everything. He should have written him up for the comments he made. I never said that was grounds for termination, but from there if the situation accelerates, he has documentation. | |
|
| A Very Ugly Situation - What Would YOU Do?
Posted: 10/21/2009 12:35:11 PM | e should have written him up for the comments he made.
He didn't. I wouldn't have either. There is no need to "escalate" the matter with an employee you need. It's probably just "idiotic" chatter between 2 employees (which I agree that they should have been more careful) ....
Oh btw. I've been in OP's position before (not at work but comments about another employee at an after work party). I shut the f up and let it go. And nothing ever happened. He was a bit tipsy and made a stupid comment. Sometimes you need to judge people under a different light. Being trigger happy is never good, especially for your business. | |
|
| A Very Ugly Situation - What Would YOU Do?
Posted: 10/21/2009 12:57:12 PM | *blinks
Ok. Let me ask y'all a question.
It seems youre more concerned with the fact that she's black. How bout if she were ugly...or over weight, or old.
Would you still be that concerned if she were the local whore?
Dont get me wrong. I love chivalry but why all of a sudden are you taking the high road because she's black?
I hear guys at the gym saying things all the time about banging this one or that one and not actually caring about her. (That's one reason ya never date men at the gym~never eat where you sh*t...isnt that the saying?)
Alot of those guys are waiting for their turn. Maybe its all talk..who knows..
Im saying if youre going to write and say "tell her" then why not tell all the girls when you hear something said about them?
If youre at the gym and you overhear a guy say something about banging one of the locals, do you tell her? | |
|
| A Very Ugly Situation - What Would YOU Do?
Posted: 10/21/2009 1:08:58 PM | OP,
It sounds like you're making this a bit personal?
For your own liablity, you need to document the incident and write him up. If you don't it can bite you in the end. Cover yourself and he will most likely make further offending comments that you need to also document. From there you have grounds for termination.
x2
If you terminate this person, you'll be on shaky ground. The girl in question didn't hear the remarks, and no one's made a complaint. This is a 'private' conversation you here where, presumably, no one but yourself has been offended. Write him up. This puts him on notice, and puts you on very strong ground to let him go if he trips up down the road. At least here in California, they like to see you make reasonable attempts to offer the employee the opportunity to be productive / second chance. Especially in cases like these, where he's not in direct contact with anyone he's not offended. | |
|
| A Very Ugly Situation - What Would YOU Do?
Posted: 10/21/2009 1:09:54 PM | Now, this man whom you claim has made the "pretty ugly racial comments" about the black woman who works in your office...could it be possible that he is the resident chick magnet, and you resent him just a little bit for the fact that so many women are attracted to him...and, could it be possible that maybe you are ALSO into the black woman who works in your office, and you view this man as a potential threat...that couldn't have anything to do with it, could it? Cough cough.
By the way, this was the quote of yours that tipped me off to what was really going on inside your head -
"One of the male employees said that he was trying to get her to date him 'just so I know what it's like to f*ck a black chick.' From what I could tell, he has no interest in her beyond that..."
From what you could tell, he has no interest in her beyond that? Hmm. And why is that relevant, him having any interest in her "beyond that"...
Translation - unlike you personally, this man has no interest in her beyond f*cking her. But you are very interested in her for a lot more than that, aren't you?
My advice would be to give it all you have no matter what you decide to do with this man. Go all the way with it, whatever you decide. And if you are into this black chick yourself (which seems obvious to me), then make your play. Get rid of the guy if you have to do it. You have the leverage, use it.
All's fair in love and war.
And nice guys finish last. | |
|
| |
| A Very Ugly Situation - What Would YOU Do?
Posted: 10/21/2009 1:15:38 PM |
Boss's job is to protect his business.
Exactly.... and you're contradicting yourself in your posts. I see your 'profession' is "A Royal Pain in the" arse.
'Nuff said. Either you don't work, or you're completely oblivious and/or uneducated about labor laws.  | |
|
| A Very Ugly Situation - What Would YOU Do?
Posted: 10/21/2009 1:53:19 PM | Clarification:
1. It was after normal working hours. They were in a cubicle talking. I was in a nearby cubicle and they didn't know I was there. And no I wasn't there to spy on them for godsakes.
2. No, I'm not hot for the women. Even if I were I don't fraternize with the employees unless they are (a) male, and (b) I was already friends with them prior to their employment with us.
Thanks for the replies. Some of you made useful advice. | |
|
| A Very Ugly Situation - What Would YOU Do?
Posted: 10/21/2009 2:00:09 PM | No, he didn't come out and harass her did he. Just guy talk?
All you can do is take him in the office and tell him you are noting, writing up racist sexual convo in the work place as it won't be tolerated.
Honey, No one is irreplaceable. Lots of good people out there would love his job.
Only one warning and next time he is out. No reference letter.
Personally he wouldn't have a second chance with me.
op bring back the other pic..please. Talk about ugly... | |
|
| A Very Ugly Situation - What Would YOU Do?
Posted: 10/21/2009 2:05:48 PM | | Aside from it being offensive, that comment is racist. I would definitely pull him over and warn him. If she wants to complain, than it's time to write it up. | |
|
| |
| A Very Ugly Situation - What Would YOU Do?
Posted: 10/21/2009 2:37:42 PM | As yarimelma said earlier...
who the hell made you the morality police? Seriously. Unless he is saying these racial/sexual remarks at her, or anyone else in general during office hours why the hell do you care?
Uptight drama queens who meddle in other people's affairs really get on my nerves. Perceived racism/sexism/heightism/weightism/whateverism at every single turn.
If she wants to date him it's her prerogative and the only thing I'd ever expect regarding problems like this from a fellow co-worker is a warning. The only thing you should ever do is mention to her what he said and let her make the decision.
I wasn't so bothered by the situation but by your anger issues regarding it. | |
|
| A Very Ugly Situation - What Would YOU Do?
Posted: 10/21/2009 2:48:59 PM | | You need to decide for yourself (being in the position of authority) if this guy is more valuable than your most valued customers. This attitude cost your company, one statement like this, that your customer or potential customer, gets 100 more "word of mouth advertising". Just something to think about! | |
|
| |
| A Very Ugly Situation - What Would YOU Do?
Posted: 10/21/2009 3:25:59 PM | WTF?!! On what planet would the incident you described constitute sexual harassment? Certainly not on this one. I'm not even sure it makes sense to write the guy up unless his attitudes influence the way he treats his coworkers.
If you seek to terminate him, you'll likely end up in legal hot water. | |
|
| |
| A Very Ugly Situation - What Would YOU Do?
Posted: 10/21/2009 3:32:42 PM |
Keep your ASSumptions to yourself...
He has no business going around harassing employees just because they said "something about something" ...
Unless there is a case in hand. His business is how the guy does his job, not what he does with his dik in his private life.
You are ABSOLUTELY WRONG!!! When that employee opened his mouth in the workplace, and began discussing his sex life, racial slurs, and his intentions to commit sexual acts that will possibly put the business in jeopardy, you better believe the boss has every right and responsiblity to step in and take action. If the moron that wants to use and abuse a black woman had kept it out of the workplace and kept his mouth shut, then it wouldn't be an issue at the job, but now it is a work matter, and needs to be handled.
OP, you need to step in, take him aside privately and tell him that you heard his comments, write him up for racial slurs and then have him attend a mandatory class or therapy regarding sexual harassment in the workplace. Make him understand that this type of behavior will not be tolerated in your company, and that he is not to consider the women in your employ his private dating pool. He needs to keep his personal life at home, and out of the workplace. I would remind him that in this economic climate, there are a lot of people looking for work, and everyone is replaceable.
Don't let his value as an employee sway your actions. I guarantee that you can replace him in a week with a couple of good ads online and with a temp agency. Never let your employees rule you.
Beth | |
|
| A Very Ugly Situation - What Would YOU Do?
Posted: 10/21/2009 3:43:41 PM | Can someone please explain to me how this is in any way shape or form racist? The comment actually seems to show more love than hate towards a different race. How it was presented on the other hand is inappropriate for a work environment. Just start a new post on how many women have fantasized about sleeping with a black man. The thought has probably crossed most woman's minds at least once. Acting on it though, not all do. No different here with that comment, even though its something that should be said at the bar and not at work.
At most you should perhaps talk to this employee about the subjects he is discussing at work and how they can offend some people. If he actually starts flirting with her at work, you may then want to play white knight and go tell her what you over heard so that she knows he's only gaming her. This is essentially making a mountain out of a molehill all because of super white knight morals. | |
|
| |
| |
| A Very Ugly Situation - What Would YOU Do?
Posted: 10/21/2009 4:59:09 PM | | I am sure you have some type of Labor and Industry in the state that you live in that outlines sexual harassment and other similar legitimate reasons for termination. It has always been my experience that you have to document everything from what you witnessed, heard, what was going on around you when you heard it, why you were there, etc. etc. and then you speak to the person involved with a representative from their union if they belong to one. You document ahead of time what you are going to say and ask the employee to sign such documentation. Of course I worked in management for the state so we had to cya big time. | |
|
| |
| A Very Ugly Situation - What Would YOU Do?
Posted: 10/21/2009 5:52:56 PM |
You are ABSOLUTELY WRONG!!! OP, you need to step in, take him aside privately and tell him that you heard his comments, write him up for racial slurs and then have him attend a mandatory class or therapy regarding sexual harassment in the workplace.
Of courseeeee! how dare he! talk about a "woman" like that... of courseee...
then cut his ears, penis, nose and feed 'em to hungry dogs...  | |
|
Home
login 
