| A Very Ugly Situation - What Would YOU Do?
Posted: 10/26/2009 6:35:40 PM | Soooo inappropriate on many levels. It's a law suit waiting to happen.
You ought to bring him into your office and tell him you overheard what he said. Read him the riot act, and write his azz up.
Someone of this caliber is definitely a liability to the organization. No one is irreplaceable. | |
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| A Very Ugly Situation - What Would YOU Do?
Posted: 10/26/2009 6:42:34 PM |
Don't get upset. It's just a fact unless you have had a skin bleaching and a sex change that is what it is.
Don't confuse your assumptions about what other people 'think' with facts.
I just feel that we do not get taken seriously and it happens quite a bit in the workplace. It's very stressful to be at work and have people around you who have to 'think' about whether or not 'you' are worthy of respect from your co workers.
That's an assumption on your part, you may be taken quite seriously in the workplace, you might be judging your workmates harshly.
It's about you realizing that you just don't and can't know everything.
I don't claim anything of the sort.
If you have some stories of your own about on the politics of 'being' a black female in the workplace got for it. I'm sure I will be amused.
I don't have to be black or female or American to seek to understand the reality of it any more than you have to be male and white and Australian to understand my reality. | |
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| A Very Ugly Situation - What Would YOU Do?
Posted: 10/26/2009 7:02:13 PM | imforever: Please quote my remarks as I wrote them, including the entire part that you left out. The point was that if someone else other than the boss had overheard, there'd be no question that the guy should be written up.
This is what I said:
<div class="quote">If another woman was there and overheard the guy's remarks, and she was offended and made a fuss, it does not matter (a) whether or not she was overreacting, (b) whether or not the comments referred to her or to the other woman, (c) whether or not the employee knew that he shouldn't make those comments in a work-related setting; by law, she could report the guy.
There's a whole section of (a), (b) and (c) after the "it does not matter" which goes along with the "it does not matter". If your reading comprehension is not up to par, at least don't mislead others by misquoting me. | |
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| A Very Ugly Situation - What Would YOU Do?
Posted: 10/26/2009 7:52:53 PM |
I am not understanding why her wellbeing is not in your and the company's best interest.
Her well-being is of paramount importance. Rest assured. The matter's been handled. Thanks for your reply.
Mtn.lover #162, at very least you're an entertaining and colorful fellow. Thanks for the comedy. | |
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| A Very Ugly Situation - What Would YOU Do?
Posted: 10/26/2009 8:00:56 PM | Dude, unless you have to fire him to grandstand in defense against a suit, let it go after telling him the next time will cost him his job.
Who cares about this situation unless it pops back up or requires you to front some cash to a lawyer? Don't be so strung up on ideals other people cram down our throats. He and she are both adults and if they want to screw for whatever reason, it's THEIR business. | |
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| A Very Ugly Situation - What Would YOU Do?
Posted: 10/26/2009 9:47:18 PM |
Please quote my remarks as I wrote them, including the entire part that you left out.
the rest of the quote didn't matter as it all relied on that if which was the whole point. Since that if just didn't happen it was all just blended words that didn't mean a thing.
The point was that if someone else other than the boss had overheard, there'd be no question that the guy should be written up.
That is incorect. Someone else could mean anybody else and well unless it was someone who took offense to what was said no complaint would be made and therefore nothing could be done about it.
There's a whole section of (a), (b) and (c) after the "it does not matter" which goes along with the "it does not matter". If your reading comprehension is not up to par, at least don't mislead others by misquoting me.
Lets not get hasty sections a,b, and c didn't apply because that if was just that an if. I didn't mislead anyone you did with that if statement. | |
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| A Very Ugly Situation - What Would YOU Do?
Posted: 10/26/2009 10:43:50 PM |
I noticed in a proir post in responce to me, that you would have discriminated against me based on age and your guess that I might not be healthy.
Ha! I noticed that as well. Agism is rife in the current employment environment, nobody respects experience and certainly many people are fearful of people who speak their mind. | |
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| A Very Ugly Situation - What Would YOU Do?
Posted: 10/27/2009 12:56:37 AM | Oh wow! OP is FULL OF IT!
He knows about labor laws or leading a company as much as I know about baking a cake..... LMAO 
I highly doubt he is an employer. He pulled this one out of his ass, and decided to post a thread about it....
But this thread has been very informational though...
-First, women can't lead. Period! They take things too personal and too emotional.
-Second, look at all the puvvy men out there. A generation raised by "single mothers", looks like they've been doing hell of a job... 
Watch out! Next thing they'll arrest you just for thinking.... You look like you've been having impure thoughts...BAM!
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| A Very Ugly Situation - What Would YOU Do?
Posted: 10/27/2009 1:58:40 AM | wow holy !!!!!
there are a lot of people on this forum that are 'trying to stir the pot'
by poking each other with sticks in those sensitive areas,just be nice people...ok?
as far as this issue goes,ya it is inappropriate talk,against labour laws etc
but in reality people are curious about other people,other races etc....it is normal
and guys talk like that...........really they do. So do women though.....
I have dated 3 women of african decent,they were nice,they were curious about other cultures too...........it is normal,I dated a girl from Chile too.......all normal curiousity on both sides. | |
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| A Very Ugly Situation - What Would YOU Do?
Posted: 10/27/2009 3:43:20 AM | and you are not black
If he were a black guy and saying the same thing about the blondie in the office I'm sure action would've been taken immediately.
I knew it just a matter of time before someone turns it into a black and white issue.
she is a really smart woman and makes the request.
Sorry, but what would that request be?
She could say-Hey, someone told me that this guy said this about me, not to me, but to the other guy, and now I am very upset, and want to file a suit..Like that?
And another thing most people don't realize
Do not underestimate the female he referred to in a sexual manner.
The female he referred to in a sexual manner..As I said earlier, might not even know what was said about her..Unless she comes to the forums..
Now don't you call me ASSZUGLO..
And yes, I would like to know how the issue was handled.. | |
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| A Very Ugly Situation - What Would YOU Do?
Posted: 10/27/2009 8:32:17 AM | ^^^ You guys are amazing. Re-read the original post and then all of my posts.
Yes The man who responded to me is not a black female therefore he has no clue personally on the issue.
I did say that I would have not mentioned her race but the OP gave that information so it is appropiate for me to touch on the subject and give my opinion.
And she can ask to have his computers seized should she file a suit should she make the request.
I am very clear in what I wrote and am clueless as to why 2 people want to challenge me on a subject they don't have experience in. By that I mean not being on the outside looking in.
It really amazes me that you guys are going at me for having first hand experience 'in my own skin and body'. I'm pretty sure you both will now reply and set your boring circular arguments in motion. Wow!
Again Op it is great that you took care of the situation. We all want to know how you handled it. | |
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| A Very Ugly Situation - What Would YOU Do?
Posted: 10/27/2009 11:16:14 AM |
I am very clear in what I wrote and am clueless as to why 2 people want to challenge me on a subject they don't have experience in. By that I mean not being on the outside looking in.
Your arrogance is breathtaking.
Racial discrimination is not an exclusively black American thing. There are many forms of discrimination that ANYBODY can suffer.
I lived in Indonesia recently. I was discriminated against daily because I was not Indonesian, because I was white, because I was not Muslim. Assumptions were made about me all the time because of my race. Even back home I experience discrimination, I assume Dallas is yet to reach her '40's, try looking for work as a 40-year-old in a youth-orientated workforce, no matter how experienced and capable you are.
The only reason the argument is circular is because of your arrogance Dallas. Try opening your mind up to other peoples' points of view. | |
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| A Very Ugly Situation - What Would YOU Do?
Posted: 10/27/2009 5:53:49 PM | Ok.. seems complicated
First.. you "overheard" it. I'm not sure the circumstance that had you able to HEAR it, but either way, you did.
IF you are in a position of authority(seems you are since you WANTED to "fire" him) then you are also in the position of being sued for wrongful termination if you dont follow protocol and the legal way to put him on notice that this sort of talk/behavior is against company policy (which then means you have to have a WRITTEN POLICY that all employees are aware of) Sorry.. you ARE getting advice on that.
So.. not knowing how your company works.. your position.. or any of the above I referenced, let's go back to what you "overheard" and the presumption of authority that makes you ABLE to "fire" him
First.. cover your ass. Find that replacement tech and get a BUNCH of resumes IN hand if not 1st interviews.
THEN call him in the office and inform him of what you "overheard" and that it isnt acceptable in the workplace. Get legal advice from outside counsel too in order to protect YOU from a lawsuit.. as well as your company.
My advice above is given ONLY from the original post. NONE of the comments that followed were even read. | |
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| A Very Ugly Situation - What Would YOU Do?
Posted: 10/27/2009 8:25:45 PM | | get ready to pay loads of money out when she reports to the EEOC that you kept a man employed that was sexually harassing her.Better replacing him than paying her out. Ah how we rather save money than dignity and common respect. | |
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| A Very Ugly Situation - What Would YOU Do?
Posted: 10/28/2009 3:52:55 AM |
You guys are amazing.
Awww..Thanks..I think..
It really amazes me that you guys are going at me
I am not..I just had my oponien..Witch is different from yours..
That's why this place called forums, you post something someone might disagree and that's it..
Circular arguments..I am not arguing, just asking a question, and I yet to get am answer..How can she, or anybody else cry sexual harassment, when nothing was said to her??
Just two jerks talking sh1t..Wow, guys talking about a good looking female coworker, in a sexual manner..Unheard of!!!
As I said, if fantasising about having sex with someone is a harassment, than waitresses at Hooters, secretaries, attractive female coworkers regularly being sexually harassed.
And some males too.
If I say I want to kick someone azz, am I going to be charged with assault? | |
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| A Very Ugly Situation - What Would YOU Do?
Posted: 10/28/2009 5:22:53 AM | I would have just told him to knock it off while at work because you never know who'll be offended. Bring up the fact that if I customer hears it, you could lose business and you can't have that. Or that she might get offended and consider it a hostile work environment and you'd rather not have to get involved with any of that. This way, your ass is covered and you're not coming from a position of moral superiority.
I once worked at a place where all workers were women and the boss was a man. We were constantly joking around about a certain delivery guy. Once, as he was walking away, I said "Oh my my my.... I'd like to tie him up and lick his nipples until they bleed!". The boss overheard, laughed and told me to keep those sorts of comments to myself unless I was absolutely sure they couldn't be heard by anyone who might take offense. He was right too.. on the job we are supposed to be professional, and the employees are a reflection of the business.
Besides, if that delivery guy had heard and taken offense, his company could have refused to deliver, or they could have replaced him with lesser eye candy. That would have been practically tragic. | |
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| A Very Ugly Situation - What Would YOU Do?
Posted: 10/28/2009 6:50:27 AM | That Azzwhole may act that way because to many people have given him a pass...
I would talk to my female employee and tell her it's better if she resigned her position, cuz shes causing strife amounst the team...So since, I the owner, have no balls, she may want to work somewhere else... | |
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| A Very Ugly Situation - What Would YOU Do?
Posted: 10/28/2009 3:17:44 PM |
Indiana is an at-will employment state so you can fire any one at any time for almost any reason. I wouldn't mention the sexual harrasment that could lead to a law suit. Instead, once you find a replacement for him, just wait till he show's up to work one morning and say "I don't like your shoes. You're fired".
Simple as that.
Unbelievable. The bloke might have been crass and stupid for saying what he did (in what he thought was a private situation after work hours), but to fire him over it with no warning?
'At-will employment state'? The whole workforce has the 'sword of Damacles' hanging over it's head, so good luck in expecting loyalty and performance from them if they know they can be sacked at a whim.
Many posters with actual experience in HR on this thread have suggested a warning and a reminder of company diversity policy, which is a reasonable response.
What is not reasonable is to sack this bloke arbitrarily because, by the OP's own admission, what he said did not fit with HIS OWN moral compass.
I wouldn't mention the sexual harrasment that could lead to a law suit.
He's fired and he doesn't have the first clue why. You'd make a great boss, really inspire your people to reach their potential for sure whilst they're busy 'walking on eggshells' around you because of your vicious management-style. | |
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| A Very Ugly Situation - What Would YOU Do?
Posted: 10/28/2009 3:26:32 PM | | I'd start to hit on him, and when he wonders why you've gone gay for him you can tell him because you just wanted to know what it'd be like to have gay sex. | |
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| A Very Ugly Situation - What Would YOU Do?
Posted: 10/28/2009 10:01:09 PM | ammilio-bello
I wasn't obessesing. I just don't get it when people try to make a point that they honestly have no experience on/with 'personaly'. You are correct the shmucks are not worth my time. I see one has already found someone else to latch onto. I saw you profile! Watch those pythons baby! | |
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| A Very Ugly Situation - What Would YOU Do?
Posted: 10/28/2009 10:58:37 PM | | OP , you're the Boss? then act like it why do you need advice from strangers on a Forum ? If the conversation made you uncomfortable file a complaint and give it to HR let them deal with it, talk to the guy give him a warning, or ask the lady in question out for yourself .....Describing the Female as being "a very attractive single" could be construed as sexual harassment by someone who overheard you saying it if you said it at work....I think you were really spying on the guys hoping to catch them so that you could eliminate your inner office competition.... | |
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| A Very Ugly Situation - What Would YOU Do?
Posted: 10/28/2009 11:25:25 PM | Why didn't you fire him? That's sexual harassment, shouldn't be tolerated, no mater how good of a techy he is.
Alot of people out there looking for work, maybe you'll even find a better one than this guy. | |
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