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| Really need some advice!!
Posted: 10/23/2009 6:19:20 AM |
Men always seem to want sex, after like 2/3 dates but i don't feel confortable. Things happened when I was younger that has put me off willies. Don't get me wrong im ok with sex once I feel a bit more confortable but touching them, it makes me shiver just thinking about it. I find it really embarrassing to tell them but I've tried changing and I can't.
Please help me!!
You know, I feel the same way... I would be a very unsatisfactory sex partner for a man. I'd keep it simple; just do what is comfortable and pleasurable for you. Getting into big explanations is not likely to work out well. Men can do fine without being fondled and sucked. (Although from reading these forums, one would imagine they could not) Generally women don't do a lot of touching anyway, at least not in my experience. I might have wished they were more familiar with me, but I was always happy with the main course. | |
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| Really need some advice!!
Posted: 10/23/2009 6:34:13 AM | You may want to talk to a therapist to help you get over your fear of touching them.
But still wait till YOU are comfortable. Men are all about sex. If he truly likes you he'll wait till you're ready. | |
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| Really need some advice!!
Posted: 10/23/2009 8:48:34 AM | | like I said guys, im ok once I feel comfortable its just at the start. I lived with my ex for 3 years and once I'd got over the bridge as I call itI was fine and he had no problems what so ever, its just getting to the bridge and over it. I think last tie it took me about 3 months but he was ok with that. | |
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| Really need some advice!!
Posted: 10/23/2009 9:00:12 AM | ^^^^ Well unless they're unzipping and waving it at you before your ready.. what is the point of this thread? You know your boundaries and limits so.. be true to them.
Live well and prosper!
.. Case closed ..
P.S. The fear is still a problem you should seriously consider getting addressed.. I believe it probably will manifest other problems within your relationship(s) at some point. | |
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| Really need some advice!!
Posted: 10/23/2009 9:05:10 AM |
Well unless they're unzipping and waving it at you before your ready
Oh lord. They aren't doing that, are they, OP? I ask because I had a date once....I met him at his place after he got off work and we were going to go eat. Well, he was 'getting ready' and I was watching the news waiting. He comes out of the bathroom naked and asks if I'll give him head before we leave. | |
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| Really need some advice!!
Posted: 10/23/2009 1:03:37 PM | ^ There's a very Seinfeld-esque, "He took it out" thread floating around here someplace.
You wouldn't think that there were that many stupid people out there, but yup... there are. :( | |
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| Really need some advice!!
Posted: 10/23/2009 1:59:02 PM | Stop posing and kissing the camera then.
Might want to check your headline [ Come get me?] Shaking head.
If they didn't want you, would you be on here crying about that?
Your profile seems out of character from your thread and vice versa. | |
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| Really need some advice!!
Posted: 10/23/2009 2:04:15 PM | | while it never hurts to explore one's own sexuality alone to be a better, more confident lover, I agree that if you don't wanna mess around in any way shape or form by three dates or whatever your thing is...then stick to it. Nothing wrong at all with that. | |
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| Really need some advice!!
Posted: 10/23/2009 2:13:30 PM |
Well, he was 'getting ready' and I was watching the news waiting. He comes out of the bathroom naked and asks if I'll give him head before we leave.
Was this fairly recent...say in the last year? I ask because there was a discussion on here about an episode of "How I met your mother" tv show. One of the characters said he would have the girl meet at his apartment...he would walk come out naked and one out of 5 times it worked and he got laid. Anyway, maybe what happened to you was because the guy saw that episode. If that ever happened to me, I would point and laugh and say "you call that a penis?...mines bigger, wanna see??"
Anyway, OP you scared of the c0ck? Obviously, you haven't met any pretty ones to play with. Are they uncircumcised? You're in the UK, so you're SOL when it comes to the d!ck being pretty seeing as the country you are in. Odds are they sport a turtleneck. I don't blame you. Sh!tstorm of hatemail in my inbox...in one...two...three... | |
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| Really need some advice!!
Posted: 10/23/2009 3:32:42 PM |
ThMen always seem to want sex, after like 2/3 dates but i don't feel confortable. Things happened when I was younger that has put me off willies. Don't get me wrong im ok with sex once I feel a bit more confortable but touching them, it makes me shiver just thinking about it. I find it really embarrassing to tell them but I've tried changing and I can't.
Please help me!!
Sure.
Switch your profile to read: Seeking a "woman".
Eating pvssy is great.
Ask around... | |
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| Really need some advice!!
Posted: 10/23/2009 4:55:45 PM |
a man who will really care for you will NOT mind waiting... Just be warned though....there will be a lot of guys who aren't willing to wait. So you'll feel upset and feel as though you should change your feelings. Just stick to what you want and don't do what you don't want.
Then that makes an easy filtering device...if they don't want to wait then fvck 'em...or rather don't!
It's so true that a man who really cares for you will not mind waiting.
Just because they want sex after two or three dates doesn't mean that you should feel obliged to do anything you are not ready and wanting to do.
Always go at your own pace in life but look into some therapy if 'exposure therapy' doesn't help once you meet the right man.
^^^^ Well unless they're unzipping and waving it at you before your ready.. what is the point of this thread? You know your boundaries and limits so.. be true to them.
Agreed! lol
Why do you need advice if you already know what to do? | |
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| Really need some advice!!
Posted: 10/23/2009 5:03:18 PM | | OP - there is a whole pile of rubbish advice in this thread. It sounds to me as if everything is fine, providing you get enough time to get used to your new relationship. That seems to be 2/3 dates - sounds fine to me. Let go of the idea that you have a problem, based on this thread you are one of the most normal people here! | |
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| Really need some advice!!
Posted: 10/23/2009 10:09:22 PM | Hey this is no sweat!!! If a man really loves and cares for you he will wait and give you the time you need (with in reason!) As for your past go psychiatrist about it.  | |
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| Really need some advice!!
Posted: 11/6/2009 9:09:05 AM | | I have been through a lot and have been hurt by many men and my out look on it is no means no. If a guy doesnt want to wait then he needs to look else where. Dont let men take advantage of you, cause the majority of them will try. | |
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| Really need some advice!!
Posted: 11/6/2009 1:45:36 PM |
I think last tie it took me about 3 months but he was ok with that.
3 months isn't all that long for a guy to wait, and I think falls well within the realm of “reasonable”.
Stop posing and kissing the camera then.
“Teasing” behavior is quite common with sexual abuse victims. The control was taken away from them, so they feel driven to regain that sense of control. The quick route to this is... well... teasing. “You like this? You can't have it, until I say it's okay.”.
OP: Other than unhealthy behavior (and obvious unresolved issues... which should get resolved), there's no reason to have the type of suggestive pics / language you have on your profile – knowing full well it's going to take you a while to get comfortable with someone sexually. Before you contribute to the cycle of negative feelings, please please seek help. Seriously. | |
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| Really need some advice!!
Posted: 11/7/2009 4:20:04 AM | I think your of legal age....if your not comfortable...then dont do it.....and if the guys persistant.....then its prob not worth it....I wouldnt expect any woman to get involved unless she wanted to....I have many woman freinds and never crossed the line.... | |
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| Really need some advice!!
Posted: 11/7/2009 4:52:49 AM | | OP, the problem might be that you are attracting horny eager men, and they've gotten the impression that you are horny and eager too... Hmmm let's see, how would they have gotten that impression??? Ummmmm maybe your screen name???? Sounds like a porn star name. Were you really thinking that the "xxx" 's around your name sounded classy? | |
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| Really need some advice!!
Posted: 11/7/2009 6:47:03 PM | OP, you can ignore most of this cr*p!!!
Communication is the key! If you can't tell him you need to wait, or he won't wait, show him the door. You are young!!! Don't put up with this cr*p at all!!! You have many years to enjoy your sexuality, and you must define your boundaries for yourself!
And besides, an uncomfortable woman is absolutely no fun in bed!!! And we all want to have fun in bed!!! LOL!!! | |
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| Really need some advice!!
Posted: 11/8/2009 4:55:33 PM | | Sounds like you've had experiences that caused you to develop sexual dysfuncction. If just touching a penis makes you nervous, that's not normal. It will be a problem in all your relationships. Seek some counceling. | |
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| Really need some advice!!
Posted: 11/8/2009 5:26:23 PM |
Things happened when I was younger that has put me off willies.
Have you addressed these issues? If not, it would probably be in your best interest to do so. It may be the core to your issue with men/sex.......... | |
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| Really need some advice!!
Posted: 11/8/2009 7:05:22 PM | | No man worth a toot is going to push you into something you do not want to do. A guy should have enough empathy and feeling to know you are not ready. Can you talk with your men friend(s) about other forms of making love? Good sex has a strong communication component or it is not going anywhere good. | |
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| Really need some advice!!
Posted: 11/8/2009 7:21:00 PM | Sweetie,your beautifullllll.Theres nothing wrong with you because you want to know someone better before screwing.And I love sex,,,but that does not mean I want to touch every penis thats attached to a man Iv met a few times,and dont feel that connection with. When you want it....Its about you toooo.You should be pleased,emotionally,physically,and sexually Theres nothing wrong with waiting,the right guy,in the end will respect you for it,and if there is a relationship,trust you alot more...because he didnt get it the first time,so no one else will!!!Trust me,I have that t-shirt Your just saving yourself from being used by alot of jerks,in the end,saving yourself some heartache.Get rid of who ever made you feel like something was wrong with you...he is a ass | |
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