| People With No Conversation Skills
Posted: 10/25/2009 5:39:37 PM |
"The argument isn't that any one thing is right - it's that you cannot control what others do. It's better to take the message they are trying to convey and move on than it is to get bogged down in how they deliver the message. Granted it's easy to get confused when you have interest in someone and you WANT them to be interested, but mutual interest is usually not that vague"
Logical fallacy.
You are saying "since we cannot control what people do, we cannot condemn the actions they take."
We can and do.
Ok...has that changed anything? Cause if it's just to blow off hot air and make OURSELVES feel better (cause you know it's all about us anyway), it's pointless, redundant and outside others who want to whine about the same thing, it doesn't solve much. The point is are you here to date or run ettiquette lectures?
We're not talking about what actions people are going to do. We're talking about the fact that the action of sending two word replies is an action that should be condemned by everyone because it has no benefits and only harm (wasted time) for all parties concerned.
Should is great. Won't happen tho. It's a lot of wasted energy to preach to people that either already agree and don't do this, or aren't listening/don't care.
You are talking about being confused whether there is interest or not—that is irrelevant. That is not what we are discussing.
SENDING MESSAGES is about determining interest. It's wanting to date and determining mutual interest that caused this thread, is it not?
We are discussing "why do people send two-word replies since such actions are pointless?"
Oh....ok since we're not looking for solutions and we have a lot of time to kill, continue - I mistook this as a thread for people who want answers. My bad.
You only have two options here: agree that such replies are pointless and should not occur, or defend such replies and give a reason to support their existence.
Neither affects my life, and honestly if this affects someone else's I have to question why. I'd love to discuss the surface issue, but it's sitting on top of the desire to control a situation that's not controllable.
But ok....if we're really talking about JUST why people do what they do, my answer is - how thick is my skin? How personal do I take everything? And last but not least, who cares? | |
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| People With No Conversation Skills
Posted: 10/25/2009 5:50:36 PM | Your posts are totally irrelevant.
The topic is what it is (questioning why people send two-word replies since they are pointless for all parties). If you feel the subject is a waste of time, why are you posting in the topic? | |
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| People With No Conversation Skills
Posted: 10/25/2009 6:03:27 PM | The answer is: there is no universal answer to this. 20 people do this for 20 different reasons. So why ask why? You can't answer it; it's not a polarized situation, though you may think it is.
Some people will find stuff offensive that others do, or take it too personally. Others will realize that so many people in one place cannot possibly all have the same behavior so it's silly to assume they'll all handle something the way you would.
All 20 are probably not interested, however. If they are they have a lack of social skills that would override the fact that they are interested. So either way, moving on is a better way to deal with it. | |
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| People With No Conversation Skills
Posted: 10/25/2009 8:27:51 PM |
Ok, I've been using online dating for about a couple of month and seriously is the education system in the U.S. this bad.
I have an MA in English and my writing skills are excellent. However, if a man contacts me and I am not interested, I will politely answer in a few words so as not to encourage him. Of course, those few words often say, "I am flattered by your interest, but we have nothing in common."
As others have said, you are damned if you do and damned if you don't. If you don't respond at all, you are a heartless rude ****. Answer sparingly or not encouragingly, you are merely a ****. | |
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| People With No Conversation Skills
Posted: 10/26/2009 4:02:44 PM | | I would have to agree with Gwendolyn2009 because I usually will reply to a woman if I'm interested or not. I haven't had a problem with telling a woman that I'm not interested but it goes both ways. If a woman is not interested in me or does not reply to my email, phone call, or text message then I simply stop wasting my time and move on to someone else. However I have found that some women often seek attention by trying to vent or rave to you to solicit a response to them. Then there are times to when a woman may not be interested in pursuing a relationship with me but just wants to make a new friend. Sometimes it is just pointless to press the issue and try to persuade someone to take an interest in you when you can easily spend your time and energy with someone who is interested in you. Some people don't take rejection easy and they may try to lay a guilt trip on you for rejecting them and some take it as a personal stab to their character. | |
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| People With No Conversation Skills
Posted: 10/28/2009 1:20:32 PM | | My conversation skills are not good because I have Asperger Syndrome, which is a mild form of Autism, it sucks because us Humans in general, are social creatures, so building friendships or relationships, dates, make it a struggle. | |
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| People With No Conversation Skills
Posted: 10/28/2009 10:31:00 PM | I think people's conversational skills outweigh their writing skills. There are so many guys on here that have written me who can only be described as functionally illiterate. There was one who couldn't even spell the name of the city in which he lived. Wow. | |
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| People With No Conversation Skills
Posted: 10/29/2009 2:54:24 AM | | they only answer with two words because they're just being polite with you. how come that didn't click with your "high and mighty" intellect? | |
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| People With No Conversation Skills
Posted: 11/3/2009 2:00:43 AM | IDK about short responses but I know it annoys the crap out of me when someone writes me and it takes me a couple minutes to understand the message because they can't spell anything! It's like they never passed 2nd grade or something. ugh.
But I'm guessing with the short response thing, that they are not that interested, and at the same time still want to be polite and not just ignore you. | |
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| People With No Conversation Skills
Posted: 11/3/2009 8:33:58 AM | What's just as bad as when you receive an initial message that is extremely short and says nothing.
For example I have received initial emails that said "Hi". It befuddles my mind. How should I respond back? Hi? Wow, this could take forever. I guess I am rude with those. I don't respond at all. They obviously are too busy to take the time to think of something thoughtful to say.
As for the bad use of the English language. I can only guess that many people don't find it important enough. They just don't care or they would look up the spelling in a dictionary, capitalize the first word in a sentence and make sure they included punctuation in their sentences. | |
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| People With No Conversation Skills
Posted: 11/3/2009 9:44:10 AM | I get a lot of short messages... I try to reply to them all, but in the spirit in which they were sent... not going to write my life story or talk about everything... not even after 2 dates if anything went that far.... I dont really get the OP's point... its another whine session about the complexities of online dating. Expectation vs. Reality.
If they dont respond the way you THINK they should, then they are labeled as rude, arrogant, uneducated. Think the problem with your dating life isnt everyone else or the ones you are interested in... its YOU. | |
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| People With No Conversation Skills
Posted: 11/3/2009 9:58:09 AM | | I'd guess that most of the time, it has nothing to do with conversation/writing skills.....a two worded reply is not 'conversation' in my opinion...and neither an invitation to one...I personally would take short, abrupt messages as a hint, and leave the initiative for conversation or not, in the other persons hands.... | |
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| People With No Conversation Skills
Posted: 11/3/2009 10:40:40 AM | | Way I look at is this, if she is really interested in you she'll make an attempt to show it with conversation or mulitple contacts. Guys need to stop playing with themselves with all this what if and let's hope she just doen't know what to say stuff. These women are dumb and mute, if they want to do something trust they will find a way to get it done. Bottom line no conversation=no interest or just not serious except it and move on and ask yourself why would you want to deal with a person like that anyway, this stuff shouldn't be so hard where one has to break thier necks to get things done. | |
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| People With No Conversation Skills
Posted: 11/3/2009 9:30:29 PM | I work with the public. I know how to chit chat, carry a conversation. In my job, I have to be able to get people to reveal their thoughts, feelings and ideas.
But you have to have something to work with.
"yeah" "right" "ok" "I dont know" "yes" "no" No idea that maybe they should ask you something, to show an actual interest, since they DID email you first. Lazy answers from people on a dating site, looking for someone. Some people, you couldnt get a decent response, even with the "jaws of life". | |
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| People With No Conversation Skills
Posted: 11/8/2009 7:55:18 PM | | It's a lot easier to be visually appealing to someone than it is to be emotionally appealing to someone, thats another reason why women have it easier than men when it comes to dating and relationships. | |
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| People With No Conversation Skills
Posted: 11/8/2009 8:28:49 PM | Online responses are not a good way to judge the efficacy of the US educational system.
Look, not everyone writes well. Not everyone is articulate, witty, and has lots to say. Add to that the fact they are talking to someone they don't know through a medium that gives them no reliable clue as to what the other person is really like. Consider that many people online are young. Ther are many, meany reasons why you're getting those responses. | |
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| People With No Conversation Skills
Posted: 11/9/2009 10:37:53 AM | The education in the US is definitely not the highest ranking in the world, but if you intend to appear above it I suggest you try to make your post a little less grammatically incorrect. That's just the pot calling the kettle black.
It just common sense no interest then don't reply at all if your interested reply with something meaning and just like the other person ask a question back.
If you are getting short responses, it has nothing to do with the senders' intelligence, persay. It could very well be that they are attempting to be polite and respond to you since you obviously took some time to send them a message, but they just aren't interested enough to create a thoughtful response back and are hoping to turn you away without being mean or blunt. Yes, it would be nice if everyone wrote back even a simple "Sorry, not interested," but in some cases that can open up another can of worms and instigate harassment. It's better than "Read Deleted," isn't it? They aren't replying with something meaningful = they aren't interested. You said it all yourself. | |
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| People With No Conversation Skills
Posted: 11/10/2009 9:12:36 AM | | i am poor english speaking gal ....with no idea of how to talk or reply with with good word ......what i do is i reply to them with few word if we keep send msg 2 more then i stared to talk more n is easy .....if i dont get next mail then i dont think abt | |
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| People With No Conversation Skills
Posted: 11/10/2009 9:26:36 AM | Hello, I am interested in you.
Would you like me to fondle you by the pool on a warm summer afternoon?
It's a work in progress guys, but I think it's pretty romantic, whatcha think | |
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| People With No Conversation Skills
Posted: 11/10/2009 9:43:41 AM | And why are you entitled to have a conversation with whom ever you want? And yes, the education system is bad when a 20yr old university student doesn't know that an actual conversation actually requires oral communication. As in Face2Face, Telephonic?
You may not appreciate their brevity, however they have done the socially polite thing, that being to acknowledge receiving your message. By your demanding that the world conform to your standards shows your lack of social skills. In short, just grow up and get over it, dude! | |
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| People With No Conversation Skills
Posted: 11/10/2009 4:06:09 PM | | Understand that the average IQ is only 100. That means that half the population is below that. You probably are used to talking to mostly people with IQ's higher than that which are closer to yours. On the internet you meet people of all mental abilities. | |
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