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| Men 35-44, are we in the sweet spot?
Posted: 11/2/2009 5:24:20 PM |
But yes...A CONFIDENT, SUCCESSFUL man in his mid 30's to early 40's tends to SEEM to have lot's to offer
This is key. If you can't financially support a family at this age then the women are not going to flock to you. While money always helps, a yound guy without money can still do well. If you're not confident you're going to fail (it doesn't matter how old you are). | |
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| Men 35-44, are we in the sweet spot?
Posted: 11/2/2009 7:03:07 PM | I find the whole premise of the man in the GQ article to be some how depressing, empty feeling.
I suspect he carefully folds his perfect designer pants up and hangs up his expensive jacket like some retentive jobs worth before carefully sliding into his fine cotton sheets with some air head student, who thinks that a night in some older dudes nice home , drinking a few glasses of 'nice' wine is the epitome of style, lol.
How pretentious, how empty, how cold, how despairing.
But if thats what this age range of guys are looking for, if this is indeed the sweet spot, then good luck to them. let them get on with it, i say.
Soon, they will be fifty, and panicking like hell, because they dont want to be alone either,.. and thats when they come across women in that age range who have been burned by sweet spot dudes earlier in life and are now at the 'we dont give a ****' place.
Swings and roundabouts OP.
Your OP asks,.. is it true that this sweet spot exists? undoubtably for some it does, but in the real world, I'd say,.. not so much.
In real life, a bloke trying to sleep with 20 somethings and 40 somethings and any thing else somethings when he's 35 to 44, is gonna be either creepy, or a joke to a lot of women. Real life isnt GQ, Im afraid, as desperate Housewives and SITC is'nt real life either.
I do however, tend to stay away from men my own age, as they do, for some inexplicable reason, feel that their freedom is all important, and the God given right to muck about as many women as possible is somehow a perogative and is compelling for them at this age. I give them a wide berth.. I shall wait around patiently, until they reach the 'panicking' stage... then take great pleasure in telling them to **** off. Bitter? Moi? Mais oui, certainment... pretentious enough for ya OP?
G. x | |
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| Men 35-44, are we in the sweet spot?
Posted: 11/3/2009 6:42:40 AM | "Bitter? Moi? Mais oui, certainment... pretentious enough for ya OP?"
Bitter? Maybe, but at least honest and forthcoming, which I definitely appreciate. | |
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| Men 35-44, are we in the sweet spot?
Posted: 11/6/2009 8:05:00 AM | I knew an ugly 44 year old man who could not get women. Reality sucked and only fantasies made him happy. So, he fantasized a lot. And he started believing in what he fantasized about. Movie Vanila Sky is about that too. Your "fascinating" story sounds like a FANTASY to me. You sound delusional.  | |
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| Men 35-44, are we in the sweet spot?
Posted: 11/6/2009 10:00:43 AM | ^^^^
After reading some of these posts, I have arrived at the conclusion it about both looks and money - one without the other and no go! | |
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| Men 35-44, are we in the sweet spot?
Posted: 11/6/2009 12:52:28 PM | After reading some of these posts, I have arrived at the conclusion it about both looks and money - one without the other and no go!
Um, of course it is in the lifestyle that the article spotlites. Do you really think that too many 22 year old women are going to date a fugly, poor guy who lives in suburbia? Some dude that probably thinks foreplay is telling her to drop her drawers, he's horny.....Why? They can date fugly poor 22 year olds and for go the saggy skin and bald spots. This article is a penthouse letter without the four letter words, sure there are some guys that can and do live this life, however, they are not the majority, they have what the type of women they are dating want, time, money, opportunity and the looks. These women arent interested in anything more than the man is, and the currency for both is the same. Neither of these people are looking for something serious.
What is funny is that this article is written in a way that makes it sound like the average guy has this as an option when they dont. Having a 3 bedroom back split in the suburbs with a $12 bottle of wine in the fridge isnt the aphrodesiac apparently a lot of men think it is. Sure GQ is pandering to a fantasy that I am sure a lot of men aspire to and think they have the parts to aquire, then reality kicks in and they realize the truth. | |
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| Men 35-44, are we in the sweet spot?
Posted: 11/6/2009 2:00:07 PM | | There is probably some truth to the article, but I don't think it's generally applicable to all guys - there is a subset of men in that age group who can or want to explore such a range. When I was in that age range, my dating range was far more restricted, though I did usually limit the ages I would consider as I was looking more for compatibility than novelty. Even so, I was contacted by women 20 years younger to 10 years older, and dated some of them - very briefly - until I realized we had too little in common. After that, I wouldn't consider dating them. What's the point? I didn't need an ego boost or a lot of dead-end encounters - I wanted a relationship. | |
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| Men 35-44, are we in the sweet spot?
Posted: 11/8/2009 10:01:38 PM | I have to admit, I'm having the time of my life at 40.
I'm not god's gift to women, but I do okay in the looks department and I take care of myself physically. I also have my Sh!t together and I have money, toys, and a boatload of confidence which helps me land tons of dates, both on this site and in my daily travels.......
Ironically, my wife was the one who opted out of our marriage, and by god!! It was one of the best things she ever did to me!!.......I'm having an absolute blast!!
So yea, for me, I'm definitely in the "sweet spot"!!........
Life is good!!
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| Men 35-44, are we in the sweet spot?
Posted: 11/9/2009 12:50:45 PM | | Hey guys, I hafta tell ya!! I would think I was living most men my ages fantasy. I met her through a freind. She was 21 I was 38 and we stayed together till recently....so 1 month shy of 2 yrs. She was a sex craved addicted and I kept up with and even surpassed her drive at times. But I had to leave!! She was hot, and loved nothing more than to give me oral most of the time I was awake!! However, I just really couldn't get it out of my head that this was very fun but was wasting vital time to find someone in my own maturity level that was perfect for me. I am now looking for this type of woman and hope I am in the "sweet spot". So if you know any woman in my area like her but older referr them to me.........lol !! | |
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| Men 35-44, are we in the sweet spot?
Posted: 11/9/2009 7:28:14 PM |
But yes...A CONFIDENT, SUCCESSFUL man in his mid 30's to early 40's tends to SEEM to have lot's to offer
You're forgetting one critical thing.
Mens magazines are there to flatter your ego becuase that's what men crave the most and that's what makes you vulnerable, YOUR EGO.
After approx 30 years old, sometimes sooner, testosterone levels drop and most guys just don't get hard fast, don't get as hard or don't stay hard like they did when they were under 30. Trust me. I know. I've test driven a few and I'm still chased by men of all ages so no, it isn't because I can't get them going.
Most men have a sell by date. Face it. That magazine is nothing but a stroke to your falling libido and you know it.
You guys are such suckers for a good story as long as you are the hero right?
I know, I'm such a wet blanket. Booo hooo. | |
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| Men 35-44, are we in the sweet spot?
Posted: 11/10/2009 12:28:29 AM |
Mens magazines are there to flatter your ego becuase that's what men crave the most and that's what makes you vulnerable, YOUR EGO.
Agreed BUT 35 to 44 can be a sweet spot for men if they have remained untainted from divorce etc. Nothing is hotter than a man who is relaxed, positive and confident.
I've dated some spectacular men in the last few years men who would make Anais Nin growl oh la la. It's not how they look or how much they have, it's the fact they say what they mean without fear. That fearlessness that comes with wisdom and accomplishment. There is a freedom being with man who understands the constraints society puts on us and lives his life by his own values. The kind of man who would never call you a slut unless you asked him too.
Proust until 6 a.m does sound like B.S. though lol. | |
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| Men 35-44, are we in the sweet spot?
Posted: 11/10/2009 7:11:14 AM | | ^^^I'll venture an opinion. They're not taken because they don't want to be. They probably have exciting, fulfilled lives without permanent relationships. It works for some, but personally, I enjoy a commited relationship. | |
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| Men 35-44, are we in the sweet spot?
Posted: 11/10/2009 7:25:33 AM |
if the men were so spectacular, why aren't they taken?
Ha! The type of question only a woman could ask...
Being "taken" and being "spectacular" are mutally exclusive characteristics for men these days.  | |
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| Men 35-44, are we in the sweet spot?
Posted: 11/10/2009 9:35:41 AM |
MsBeave... if the men were so spectacular, why aren't they taken?
Taken? so for a man to be validated spectacular they need to be claimed by another?
Not everyone is desperate to find their soul mate or true love, some like to shop a gender waiting to find that person who inspires them. And some just aren't ready to commit.
Dating doesn't need to be an entrance exam, it can just be enjoyable with no definite outcome. | |
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| Men 35-44, are we in the sweet spot?
Posted: 11/10/2009 10:29:58 AM |
Taken? so for a man to be validated spectacular they need to be claimed by another?
Not everyone is desperate to find their soul mate or true love, some like to shop a gender waiting to find that person who inspires them. And some just aren't ready to commit.
Dating doesn't need to be an entrance exam, it can just be enjoyable with no definite outcome.
Bingo!! Right on the money, MsBeave!! I'm taking it one date at a time and having one hell of a good time looking for that special one! I'm not in any particular hurry and am meeting some great ladies in the process!! Nice to see there are some females that "get it"!! Hey, you free this weekend?  | |
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| Men 35-44, are we in the sweet spot?
Posted: 11/10/2009 10:33:55 AM |
MsBeave... if the men were so spectacular, why aren't they taken?
This kind of attitude used to annoy me, even make me angry. I eventually grew out of the anger phase and now it just amuses me,
Some men aren't taken because they don't want to play the game. Some get jaded and stop putting themselves out there, some become comfortable being single, others just don't bother to try. Some of the kindest, most sincere, most faithful people I have met were single.
Being involved does not make someone spectacular. Being single does not make someone unworthy of your time. | |
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| Men 35-44, are we in the sweet spot?
Posted: 11/10/2009 1:26:02 PM | I know what you mean kjacks - but I must admit - it still kind of bothers me.
The attitude that the whitetigress and others like her exhibit just seems so damn common on this website - makes me wonder where all of the normal women are (other than offline...lol) | |
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| Men 35-44, are we in the sweet spot?
Posted: 11/10/2009 1:43:51 PM | I knew I should have put a dancing green banana next to my comment... re-read it and imagine the banana
it was a tongue in cheek comment... you've said what I already knew and btw... it goes both ways since there are "spectacular" women out there too
I think the sweet spot can apply to either gender
....reaching a certain point in the story of our lives that lands us in the sweet spot of freedom to date whomever......and enjoy it. | |
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| Men 35-44, are we in the sweet spot?
Posted: 11/10/2009 1:59:43 PM | Ah...my bad. I didn't realize that was sarcasm - sorry - the internet doesn't always convey the innuendos as well as the spoken voice. There seems to be a "anti-men" contingent that is proliferating on this website that goes from thread to thread bad mouthing one gender exclusively, which is really turning me off this site.
And you're right about both genders having a sweet spot! | |
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| Men 35-44, are we in the sweet spot?
Posted: 11/10/2009 5:22:48 PM | | I'd never really thought of it,but now I understand. When I was 35 I suddenly seemed to come into demand for a lot of younger women. Some in their early 20's were making moves on me,and I was one of those beer-bellied and bald males some of the ladies were referring to in their posts. Many of the women chasing me were a lot younger than I was interested in too. At 36 I settled into a relationship with a 23 yr old,and we're still together now. | |
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