| Why do men with kids respond to my ad?
Posted: 10/24/2009 3:11:25 PM |
I don't get it and am hoping someone can enlighten me...
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It's called hypocrisy! AKA double standard.
With all due respect Rock Man (and I sincerely mean that), I think it's more due to the fact that many *people* go beyond simply stating their preferences and instead take the opportunity to go from thread to thread to call single mothers pieces of trash, a waste of space, whores, sluts, etc.
It's one thing to say that one doesn't wish to date single moms or dads, or that one prefers short/tall/slim/big or whatever....it's when people start insulting and bashing those that don't fit their criteria that's it's NOT okay -> in my opinion.
I have never seen anyone in the almost three years that I have been here "rip a new one" to someone who was respectfully stating their preferences, including not wanting to date a single mom or dad.
Anyway, that's my take on it.
OP, we are all entitled to our preferences - I don't blame you (or anyone) one bit for not wanting to get involved with someone with children, grown or not - children are for life and just because they're grown it doesn't mean they are not (still) a big part of our lives. Good luck OP in finding what/who you're looking for:)
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| Why do men with kids respond to my ad?
Posted: 10/24/2009 3:49:18 PM |
With all due respect Rock Man (and I sincerely mean that), I think it's more due to the fact that many *people* go beyond simply stating their preferences and instead take the opportunity to go from thread to thread to call single mothers pieces of trash, a waste of space, whores, sluts, etc.
It's one thing to say that one doesn't wish to date single moms or dads, or that one prefers short/tall/slim/big or whatever....it's when people start insulting and bashing those that don't fit their criteria that's it's NOT okay -> in my opinion.
I have never seen anyone in the almost three years that I have been here "rip a new one" to someone who was respectfully stating their preferences, including not wanting to date a single mom or dad.
Anyway, that's my take on it.
Good point, and I do agree there is a major difference when it comes to how the question is asked.
But also know that most of the threads that come to mind either get deleted before the thread grows or is deleted due to the way the thread is responded to. It always turns in to a bad thing when a man makes the same statement, which gets them deleted!
I couldn't care less about what others want one way or the other. To each their own.
But to whine about it and to have the need to question the forums about it is just childish really. There is an option called the delete button. But obviously thats just not good enough for the op.
My thought on it is: Ask the fecking people with kids mailing you why they do it.
That's what I do. I ask the person with the behaviour not everyone else to guess about it! But then I look for solutions and not just a place to piss, moan and complain! | |
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| Why do men with kids respond to my ad?
Posted: 10/24/2009 4:06:32 PM |
Good point, and I do agree there is a major difference when it comes to how the question is asked.
But also know that most of the threads that come to mind either get deleted before the thread grows or is deleted due to the way the thread is responded to. It always turns in to a bad thing when a man makes the same statement, which gets them deleted!
I couldn't care less about what others want one way or the other. To each their own.
But to whine about it and to have the need to question the forums about it is just childish really. There is an option called the delete button. But obviously thats just not good enough for the op.
My thought on it is: Ask the fecking people with kids mailing you why they do it.
That's what I do. I ask the person with the behaviour not everyone else to guess about it! But then I look for solutions and not just a place to piss, moan and complain!
I did ask a mailer with kids why he was responding to me, he's the one who called me "closed minded". so that's why i come here, on a FORUM to DISCUSS it and see if others are having the same issue! which some are...
No one is making you read or respond to any of theses threads. if you don't like a topic, move the **** on! It's an open forum, anyone can post any topic here! | |
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| Why do men with kids respond to my ad?
Posted: 10/24/2009 4:13:56 PM | | Bottom line, alot of men just don't even bother reading much on women's profiles. You are extremely attractive & that's all they really care about, even if they do read your profile they still just want to go for it anyways. Men, don't get mad but it's true so many times. As for you not wanting kids or to date men with kids, you don't have to explain why to anyone, it's YOUR busn. & no one elses. | |
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| Why do men with kids respond to my ad?
Posted: 10/24/2009 4:19:39 PM |
I did ask a mailer with kids why he was responding to me, he's the one who called me "closed minded". so that's why i come here, on a FORUM to DISCUSS it and see if others are having the same issue! which some are...
You asked one out of how many? From your op this is an everyday thing seems to happen often.. 
No one is making you read or respond to any of theses threads. if you don't like a topic, move the **** on! It's an open forum, anyone can post any topic here!
The same goes for you op. If you don't like the replies your getting DON'T FECKING READ THEM!......  | |
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| Why do men with kids respond to your ad? This could be why..
Posted: 10/24/2009 7:31:43 PM | OP, although you have made a good go of stating what you DONT want, a few ambiguities in your profile may need changing/removing as they convey the message that you are flexible in your preferences.
[I'm a 42 year old.......... who doesn't want one night stand OR marriage and kids....looking for something in between - not sure what. ]
Perhaps they feel they could help you figure out what exactly you want.
[As I'm single the word affair is probably wrong but something akin to that I think is what I'm looking for (but if you have any better ideas/solutions).]
If the affair is not on your part, you being single and all, maybe on theirs? They will try to give you the better ideas/solutions you seek.
[Not looking to be taken care of, times are tough financially for me, but am not looking to be kept! ]
Why include your current financial status if looking for a solvent 'potential significant other'? It might give out the message that you could sure use some help but want to be coaxed into accepting it.
[This means that I am NOT interested in quick sex/short term relationship and AM interested in "let's see how we get along, anything is possible". ]
Very vague statement when taken in with the one where you think you are looking for something akin to an affair. Anything is possible?
[Don't write if you are not OLDER than me,...] You being 42yrs old, followed by...
[You will be over 40 (please, please, please do not reply if you are younger than 40!) ] offers further flexibility in your age preference. Can those between 40 and 42yrs drop you a line, then?
Any man who has read the above will likely not take this statement below as cast in stone...
[Marital status is very important... you must be single and live alone with no kids, living at home or not! ]
[Please DO NOT reply to this ad IF:
- you have any sexual proclivities that general society would find unusual or offensive]
You've listed erotica as one of your interests in your profile. Some men, looking at your profile and photos, will likely want to explore that little nugget of information, regardless of what else your profile says or how many kids they have clinging to each leg! The erotica thing and the nipple picture make the following statement null and void...
[DO NOT forward any explicit photos - really not a turn on to see such photos of people I don't know ].
Then the icing on the cake..
[If you have got this far down the ad you have either fallen asleep and skipped the middle bit or must be:
(a) insane
(b) desperate (which would actually put you on the exclusion list above)
(c) deluded into thinking that you don't appear on the exclusion list or
(d) all the above and are still interested in meeting me
...if (d) applies (which might also mean that (a) also applies) please contact me ]
Most patronising to those that have taken the time to read your profile, and does you no favours in the eyes of those you seek to attract. Using insults to play hard-to-get is so off-putting! Also offers further get-out-of-jail-free card; you can be insane [(a)] but 'please contact me.' This kind of thing attracts bored or bitter sorts who will contact you with lies, pretending to fit your very tailor-made profile of Adonis, then drop you when you‘re sure you‘re onto something real, just for laughs. And they are many. They invest long and hard in their kicks.
[So if you live in Portland and surrounding and are [(miraculously) ?!] : sane, stably employed, kind, courteous, patient, intelligent, have NO KIDS, animal and music loving, UNATTACHED (and living alone), cultured, and love travel I would LOVE to get to know you.]
Miraculously? Are things really that bad in Portland? Are people there running amok with job losses, being mean and horrible to each other, impatient, daftly procreating like rabbits on Viagra with an aversion to music, generally kicking the odd dog or cat, sharing house with females and shrinking at the mere mention of travel? We may have stumbled upon a parallel universe right there!
I would cast a fresh eye over the profile and tweak it here and there, if I were you. Possibly more defined, less condescending and certain of what you WANT, not DO NOT WANT would help some. | |
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| Why do men with kids respond to my ad?
Posted: 10/24/2009 9:37:41 PM | Why do men with kids respond to your ad?
Hmmmmm... how many guys at your age don't have kids?
2nd if you both agree not to have the kids around then why not go this route?
Otherwise date someone who's 23y/o. | |
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| Why do men with kids respond to my ad?
Posted: 10/25/2009 6:29:25 AM | I have no answer for you on this thread. I wouldnt give you the time of day myself, but thats me. Good luck with your OVER INFLATED SENSE OF SELF WORTH. | |
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| Why do men with kids respond to my ad?
Posted: 10/25/2009 7:49:31 AM | Geez, I don't like it when these attention-seeking posts turn into a he said/she said female against male bashing topics. Are we all in high school again???
I agree 100% with Rock (but then, I am a huge fan of his and if I lived in the same area as him, he wouldn't need to be on here ... lol) ... read and delete, you don't have to respond to all the emails you get if you don't like the profiles, and oh my, we even have a BLOCK choice on here ... read and delete. | |
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| Why do men with kids respond to my ad?
Posted: 10/25/2009 7:53:01 AM | Probably the same reason that my profile clearly states that I am in a long term commited relationship and that I am here just for the forums and nothing else.
Men seem to think that some of them are so great that they can get us to change our minds about things that we have set in stone. | |
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| Why do men with kids respond to my ad?
Posted: 10/25/2009 8:01:11 AM | What some of you ladies fail to realize is that men don't always think the way you do on every subject; across the board,men are not as interested in marriage and kids as women are,so it's perfectly natural ( not that is anything wrong with wanting marriage and kids, I am just stating a fact)
" You don't want or you can not have kids there is no comment on that" there are some men who have no kids but practice relationship of fatherhood to their nephews and nieces, (human nature) or not at all.But the argument here is the 42yrs old woman, barren or what ? who doesnt want children even adult kids of a guy,because of her fast experienced or she in not into family vocation or she has other intention??? ~~~~ put her profile on POF public on men of all walks of life, age 42-99.. And get pissed off that men with kids responded to her ad... Majority of men came from a family ,therefor at a certain age they find a woman whom they fell in love with ,and they want a family of their own too.. It is a cycle of life... Finding a man of 42 -99 that did not procreated in his earlier age is like looking for that tiny needle in a big haystacks...(It is questionable of his past) And it is a waste of time and a waste of energy to some intelligent women. My previous post is not really a silly joke, if you read and understand ,it conveys a meaning that is effective , and no provocation of counter attack,,,, that is my strategy -* a commando attack* And Not a fire !!! of a Machine Gun Front Attack, I RESPECT THAT KIND OF argument attack too, and that comes mostly from men lol,Well,kudos to them they are super good and strong on attacking and ducking.... Vannili | |
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| Why do men with kids respond to my ad?
Posted: 10/25/2009 8:29:51 AM | | I messaged someone who was looking for a "soulmate", but her soulmate doesn't have kids,etc,etc. My thinking at the time was I don't have my kids very often and when I do I have no illusion of her being a parent, and frankly her attendance would be optional. The time I spent with my kids would be "my time" not "our time". I personally will never be in a relationship that is all "our time" without some "my time", and my time is of my choosing of how I spent it(with in reason of course, no hanky-panky, law breaking, etc). Since I've had to work with people of ages 16=>(summer hires, student PR programs,etc), it never occurred to me that somebody might object to occasionally be around someone of that age. | |
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| Why do men with kids respond to my ad?
Posted: 10/26/2009 4:14:30 PM |
mizzie said, The truth is, a lot, not all, but some, parents feel that their children are the greatest thing since sliced bread and a lot of the time nothing is further from the truth. Also, I have found, parents who date non-parents tend to expect the non-parent to make all the compromises in the relationship, as if our life is less important because we didn't have kids
I agree with this lovey red head as I have 2 grown boys, yet they don't call me 2 or 3 times a day wondering how I'm doing or like wise. and if I have company over and it is not a emergence then my company and myself come first and I can talk to them later when I'm free.
I love my family but I show with a little etiquette and common sense!
I have dated those who stop what they are going when a sibling calls to tell them that they broke a nail,ba,ba,ba.
Needless to stay these types I avoid to be with or date cuz they have little sense of the situation or that they are there with someone,and give me impression they can't function or feel guilt that they don't want to offen their sibling. lol
And for those who say their kids come first,no shzt Sherlock but sometimes you got to let them leave the roost to grow up. just say in... | |
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| Why do men with kids respond to my ad?
Posted: 10/26/2009 4:50:29 PM | It's because they are looking for exactly the same thing you are. A person without kids, baggage, drama and issues. They want an independent, intelligent, autonomous, mature adult who is able to sustain a real relationship for the long term.
don't delude yourself...you ladies are getting hit on by these guys because the figure they can get lucky at your place without being disturbed...
and a forty + women with zero children looking for a twenty five to ninety nine year old male with no family is looking for something between a boy-toy and an inheritance!
so i would say the difference would be the guy would be thinking how much he could get for how little...while the woman would wonder how little she would have to do for how much...
sometimes the hunter becomes the pray! | |
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| Why do men with kids respond to my ad?
Posted: 10/26/2009 5:32:54 PM | sorry i forgot to answer your question....why do men with kids respond to your ad.... because some woman just a touch faster than you got them for permanent child support... and the figure they can afford you....  | |
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| Why do men with kids respond to my ad?
Posted: 10/26/2009 5:36:13 PM | | sweetie my mother alwayz tell me its goin to be hard to find a good man with out a child with society the way it is its hard | |
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| Why do men with kids respond to my ad?
Posted: 10/26/2009 5:44:52 PM | | it's your choice and you don't have kids so if you don't want to consider me because i have them, then i respect your choice. not your problem to step into someone else's mess when you haven't made a mistake yourself. ignore those guys. | |
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| Why do men with kids respond to my ad?
Posted: 10/26/2009 5:47:18 PM | Simple solution: read/delete. If they come back with another message, then you block them. People shouldn't look at you as if you had three heads because you don't want children and that the person that you date not have children, either.
You have your reasons for not wanting children of your own and if you don't want your own, you shouldn't have to want anyone with children, either. You don't have to answer to anyone's questions or have to live up to anyone's expectations of what a woman should want as opposed to what she really wants.
If you are strong in your choice not to have children or date anyone with children, then stick to your beliefs. Just don't give them wings to throw insults and rants your way by ranting yourself in the forums and being aggressive in your opening thread since, to me, it is an open invitation to do just that. That is like telling a child not to do something and they do it anyway. | |
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| Why do men with kids respond to my ad?
Posted: 10/26/2009 5:56:25 PM | Roflmao. From the OP's profile:
Please be ... 5ft 8ins to 6ft tall
5'8 to 6' eh? To how many significant figures? I have a friend in your area who is 6.04 feet. If you're only looking until 2 sig. figs, then it'd round to 6'0, and I'll get him to give you a call. | |
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| Why do men with kids respond to my ad?
Posted: 10/26/2009 5:58:43 PM | Most men aint looked at your profile..........and a simple no kids should do the trick........
I read a few of these and I cant help but thnk this really aint it .............I keep wanting to ask what is " reallllllllllllllllllllllly gooing on here?" | |
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| Why do men with kids respond to my ad?
Posted: 10/26/2009 8:22:01 PM | Probably because they didn't bother to read your profile and are simply responding to your picture or they are trying to meet their daily quota.
You are not selfish, you know what you want and you have enough respect for others to be honest about it, nothing wrong with that. They are selfish in that they completely disrespect/disregard your right to make that choice. An obvious clue that they are not worth the trouble of a reply. | |
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| Why do men with kids respond to my ad?
Posted: 10/27/2009 5:44:34 AM | | to be honest, men with kids are attractive. I would never call their children a mistake, plus in some men it brings out a sort of maturity that any women would want. | |
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