| Insecurity issues
Posted: 10/25/2009 3:39:00 AM | | I commend you for losing the weight, but I suggest that in order to minimize the loose skin, you start a combination cardio and weight training program. That should help. | |
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| Insecurity issues
Posted: 10/25/2009 6:01:45 AM | I've looked at these ladies profiles, and they look HOT.
When I was 17 I went to bed with bodies that I only fantasise about now.
Meantime ladies .... have you seen the film Shirley Valentine? You need to!
Good luck, and any time you come to the UK I would be extremely honoured to share a bed with you, you are all gorgeous, whatever you may think. | |
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| Insecurity issues
Posted: 11/4/2009 7:33:20 AM | Only alternative is surgery, no way to go around it.... exercise won't get rid of the excess skin. | |
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| Insecurity issues
Posted: 11/4/2009 10:28:32 AM | | Sorry the people saying exercise wont help. Have absolutly no idea what they are talking about. Cardio probably wouldnt help. Weight training would definately help. Most females are us so uninformed and unwilling its not worth wasting time trying to explain. But simply put if you have loose saggy skin its because you have no muscle. People with even a little muscle and low body fat dont have gross loose skin. You think you can just do a few squat lunges a week and everything will be fine. Nuh uh | |
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| Insecurity issues
Posted: 11/5/2009 7:24:30 PM | Ladies, first and foremost... CONGRATULATIONS !!! you truly are amazing.
Now I dont have the same issues as you, but I do understand your pain. In my past I had to undergo some pretty full on surgeries, and I carry some pretty wicked reminders like you do.
I understand that every time, you stand, lay, naked infront of that 'new' man, you are jumping a HUGE hurdle emotionally, you are laying more than your body out there. Its hard, its difficult and it takes an enormous amount of courage to do it. I dont know that it gets easier, it never has for me.
I know the pain, of someone who couldnt handle it, being rejected because of being different. I know the love and joy of someone who only EVER saw beauty, inside and outside.
There are some amazing men out there, who dont see the ravages of life, they see the courage, the committment and the beauty. Dont ever EVER forget that. I always say something before I get to the 'naked' stage, at times I can be a bit blunt and make it clear that if they think it would be an issue to 'frek off now'.
Dont let your fears rule your life. Sometimes we just have to bite the bullet and trust that the person we are trusting with our ravages is worthy of that trust. The days that I dont feel like laying it all out there, well those days the sex siren comes out with her little corsets and lace teddies. Remember if you stand tall and proud, he will see tall and proud.
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| Insecurity issues
Posted: 11/6/2009 6:52:17 PM | I don't think those who are talking about how exercise can fix this understand what the OP means about excess skin. Skin has a component of elasticity built it...it will expand and contract. If it has been pushed past its boundaries and there are really bad stretch marks, you have probably damaged the elasticity of your skin and it is unlikely that anything but surgery will help. I've had two children and I will never again have a truly tight stomach no matter how many exercises I do. I may have abs of steel but I will have skin that sags.......unless I fill that skin with muscle which kinda defeats the purpose of wanting a flat tummy.......
To the OP - congrats on the weight loss. | |
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| Insecurity issues
Posted: 11/6/2009 11:43:21 PM | Don't let the comment from the guy who found your body not attractive discourage you. Last woman I was with had stretch marks and was over weight. It bothered her way more than it bothered me, I told her to stop putting herself down. I am nowhere near happy with my body. I would love to be hung like Ron Jeremy and have a six pack again but I never put myself down and if I am with someone and it becomes intimate I have no problem getting naked. To a REAL man this is not going to matter.
I really hate how superficial society has become. | |
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| Insecurity issues
Posted: 11/7/2009 4:11:02 AM | Ive been with woman of different sizes and never have I said anything about....their skin or anything that might be out of the ordinary.....most would explain even bfore we would get together....to bad your worried about this...it is after all whats in the inside.....this is one of the curses of weight loss....and the health factor out-weighs this small thing.....tell anyone your dating if it reaches the intimate stage.....they arent worth the time if something as trivial as that keeps you both from enjoying.....good luck.... | |
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| Insecurity issues
Posted: 11/7/2009 4:20:31 AM | | Short of surgery, there isn't anything to do about excess skin. If a guy loved you I don't think it would matter that much. | |
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| Insecurity issues
Posted: 11/7/2009 4:48:12 AM |
Yep, tone the muscle underneath. Weight/resistance training. The skin will eventually "remember" where it's supposed to be.
Oh such sage advice from kpooks (^^^^many posts up, on pg.1) This is ridiculous, ignorant advice from someone who knows nothing about anatomy and physiology. Did you even read the original post? The part where a plastic surgeon told the OP that exercise will not "fix" the OP's problem? *rolls eyes, heavy sigh*
OP, I commend you for losing the weight, that is awesome... and I'm so sorry you lost the previous guy by delaying having sex with him. It's possible you left that guy feeling insecure, like maybe something was wrong with HIM.
I think you need to be more forthcoming with your information... let your potential bed-buddy know you've lost weight, and that you've been left with the excess skin. There's no way around this... just talk about it. | |
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| Insecurity issues
Posted: 11/7/2009 6:17:26 AM | I dated a girl who lost her boobs afternursing a couple of kids. it always bothered her, so she went and get breast augmentation to get them back. she's happy as a clam that she did, and the only regret that she has is waiting so long to do it.
my advice is to tell guys in the future sooner, and not wait. if they don't like it, too bad. but if it bothers you, go back to the plastic surgeon and have it removed
as far as the attitude of some posters that "love conquers all", and it's whats on the the "inside" that matter. what a crock | |
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| Insecurity issues
Posted: 11/9/2009 7:51:55 AM | LOL the plastic surgeon said there was no cure other than to proceed with the costly plastic surgery?
HAHAHA BIGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG shock there! No way that guy had any agenda or anything.
Arent Plastic surgeons the poster children for medical ethics?
slaps himself in the forehead. Are people really that gullible? | |
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| Insecurity issues
Posted: 11/9/2009 9:30:33 AM | | OP: Congradulations on your weight loss. Most guys your age should be able to over look a little sagging skin. Most of us men are not looking for the young firm hot body. We understand with age , things happen with our bodies wheather we like it or not. If there is love in a relationship,that can make up for the not so hard body. I do understand your insecurity. I am sure we all wish we had the body of a movie star , but life is what it is. If a man cant get passed a little extra skin, then he is not the man for you. | |
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| Insecurity issues
Posted: 11/9/2009 8:08:26 PM | Thanks again for all the great advice!
Hate to kiss and tell but I finally got over my worries, took a deep breath and so far, so good! 3 dates in 4 nights so he obviously is fine with everything and I am feeling very relieved! Where we go, who knows, but I'm just thankful that I was able to get the 'first' one out of the way and breathe again :)
I found it hilarious, however, that because I opened myself up that many people wanted to make it sound like I was a very damaged person; I'm actually not. Just a realist that unfortunately lives in a sight driven world who isn't in denial of that fact.
Thanks to all the woman who gave support, but I gotta give a BIG thanks to the men who admitted they would like to have a different body too but have given themselves acceptance as to what they are and are not. And that they've shared that same 'forgiving' eye with the women in their lives.....BIG KUDOS. When anyone feels sexy and wanted they are great sexual partners and if you give those women that confidant feeling I'm sure you get many rewards because of it (I know my guy is!).
Thanks again and I hope all of us find whatever it is we seek on here---one chance at a time :)
Susan | |
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Posted: 11/9/2009 8:11:01 PM | amazing advice! You are so right!
Hugs for knowing and saying such great things!
Susan | |
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| Insecurity issues
Posted: 11/10/2009 5:57:45 AM | | If it bothers you that much, then I think that you should explore surgery to remove the excess skin.....once someone's skin has been stretched from being overweight, it is very difficult to snap back like it was prior to the gain weight....even with excercise......my girlfriend was in the similar situation as yours and she got the surgery.......her self esteem boosted to the roof, afterwards.......however, from what I see from your pics......I think you look beautiful just as you are and you have a lovely inner glow that emanates from you.................do what feels comfortable and good luck.... | |
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| Insecurity issues
Posted: 11/10/2009 6:09:10 AM | | The other thing you may not be thinking about is your new lover may find it sexy. For a lot of guys like stretch marks and the like. | |
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| Insecurity issues
Posted: 11/10/2009 4:30:05 PM | OP, I read a long time ago that men aren't nearly as critical of our bodies as we are. All they think is, "OMG! A naked woman!"
While this has already been said, if they want to get nekkid with us, they already think we're hot. This has always amazed me because I know I see all of my lumps and bumps and IMHO look infinitely better dressed!
I really don't think it has anything to do with age either. I, too, have recently lost some weight. I think it just boosted my self-esteem and energy level so much so that a 28 year old recently thought I was hot. Which in turn, just made me feel even better!
Congrats on your new life! | |
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| Insecurity issues
Posted: 11/10/2009 4:53:14 PM | Lmfaoooooo. I am down from 202 pounds to 118 pounds and don't give a shit what anyone lucky enough to see my treats thinks. I am there to get my groove on, not to have him groping around the dark.
Anyhoo, what plastic surgeon told you that nonsense? There is something that you can do about that pouch, it is called a tummy tuck. I would try to tone the muscle first and then think about surgery. I would also try to find out the bodyfat percentage. You may have lost lots of weight but your bodyfat may still be high. The less bodyfat, the better. | |
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| Insecurity issues
Posted: 11/10/2009 5:02:36 PM | 1) give yourself the credit you deserve ..that is excellent!
2) know that everyone has insecurites..and when you focus on them, they get worse..when you focus on the other stuff..the positive, those get stronger
3) Bikram yoga (not even kidding, give it a try)
4) You can have skin sugically removed..my friend's sis lost 150 lbs or more..she had the surgery to remove excess skin. If money is an issue, there are lots of creative (no interest) financing options available. I know of these b/c my daughter is an optician and works with people for lasik...care credit comes to mind.
5) know that for every different body type, color, shape ,size ,etc woman there is out there, there are an equally diverse set of men that like different things in a woman..some even like her for who she is on the inside ;-)
Good luck. That's super cool. I like your sense of humor , too. | |
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| Insecurity issues
Posted: 11/10/2009 5:44:11 PM | | OP: You should be proud that you lost weight and it makes me sad that you still have the insecurities that go along with it. I was the fat kid in school when I was young, so I feel your pain a bit. I look better now than I ever would have thought possible physically yet those old insecurities about your body will still creep in from time to time. Your pictures look great to me regardless of excess skin from losing weight. I can't speak for every man (but I bet a lot think this way) but I know when I'm into someone, I find everything about them beautiful, scars and all. If the man you're with is worth keeping he'll be crazy about the way you look no matter what, so be confident and proud of who you are and the weight you've lost. Just my two cents. | |
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