| Did I miss something???
Posted: 10/25/2009 8:46:13 AM | 12 and 14 out of what? 15? 20? umm, 50?
I'm guessing 20....
So, what would 20 out of 20 be like?
You get laid? You move in? You get married?
She has on a thong instead of spandex?
There are some pieces missing in this points formula.
I think you ARE missing something. I think I AM missing something.
I'm confused. Sorry, can't help. | |
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| Did I miss something???
Posted: 10/25/2009 8:51:13 AM | BDJ - you did miss something - these were 2 dates with the same girl. OP was describing the progression of what happened on the 2 dates.
OP, I agree - she is flaky - she sent you ALL the signals, you responded to her signals and then she lost her nerve, changed her mind...whatever. Wave buh-bye and move on. | |
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| Did I miss something???
Posted: 10/25/2009 9:21:16 AM | Please ignore the whole "point's" thing. The numbering is just order of events. My goal was to prep the reader that they are in for a long post. And yes I realize that there are 14 events from each date, not 14 and 12 like i originally stated :)
So what was my move?
Basically after she took off her shorts, I thought that was a clear sign. So within the next 5 minutes are so, I said that I was "hot" too and I took off my jeans (but kept my boxers on).
Then I got more cuddly and started kissing on her neck, but I read her body language and it wasn't good.
I know what you're thinking and YES, my breath was fine lol.
I was confused because all the signs were there ... at least I THOUGHT all the signs were there, but her body language after I "made my move" indicated otherwise.
Then we just went back to watching the movie (we were on our 2nd movie at this point) and then I went home.
I texted her when i got home just to say good and good night and she rights me some good night response that ended in xox
Then we talked later in the day and asked if everything was ok and she said yes.
Later she txt me and said that she had a good time but didn't appreciate the fact that I made a move on her. And she's "not that kind of girl so don't get the wrong idea" (exact words).
She also said, she didn't give me any "signs".
If she didn't like me making the move, I accept that. But not giving me any "signs" ... I have a problem with that statement, hence my reason for writing this post.
I wanted an outside opinion, am I crazy or were some of those events clear signs.
(its hard to fall asleep alone, i'm really cuddly, do u wanna watch the movie in bed, I give good massages, it's hot in here, i'm taking off my pants. she suggested that we go back to her house on the first date, invited me back to her house on the second date).
There were also other things that I didn't mention: she asked for my msn after only 5 pof msgs back and forth.
Originally when she showed me her bedroom on the first date, there was a pic of her and her "ex" on her night table (whole other story). The next day when we watched the movie the pic was gone. Pulling down her shirt to show me the tatoo on her back. There were a lot of other things, but I just mentioned the main "signs"
Hope that gives more clarity for those who asked.
So again, she said she didn't give any signs. I say she gave clear signs. Am I crazy? Did I miss something? | |
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| Did I miss something???
Posted: 10/25/2009 10:40:48 AM | You didn't miss anything.
I would say that she gave very clear signs, and many of them!
She's playing some kind of game with you for some reason.
Like someone else posted, one day she will pull that shit with the wrong guy and it will not end well for her! | |
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| Did I miss something???
Posted: 10/25/2009 12:31:57 PM | I totally accept that she doesn't think we should see eachother again. Absolutely no issues with that.
The part that I didn't accept is that she feels she didn't mislead me in anyway, shape or form bothered me. She feels very strongly that she didn't give me any signs or signals. She even said, "I can't believe you don't know what a sign is." basically implying that I should have known better.
Now in her defence, she said to me "I thought I told you that I wasn't looking for anything?" And to very honest with you, I do not recall her saying anything along those lines. And her POF profile says she is looking for "Dating" so, whether she told me that or not, I really don't remember her saying it.
Also in her defence she said another reason for giving the bed option to watch the movie was because her roomate (a guy) came home. But she gave me the bed option before her roomate came home. I remember very clearly because she gave me the bedroom option once, I pretended I didn't hear it, and then she said it again. A guy doesn't EVER forget the EXACT MOMENT when a girl asks him to go up to her room lol. So I didn't buy the roomate excuse because the roomate basically came in, looked at the situation and left shortly thereafter lol.
In my opinion, there were multiple indicators, and I'm glad that most of you agree :)
I actually told her I was going to create this post as a way to get an unbiased point of view. Then I was going to send her the link after enough people responded.
But it might be an eye opener to her because if she is truely niave enough to think that none of her actions were misleading, this post may open her eyes. Because most guys in a similar situation would not have reacted as level headed as I did. After I realized her body language was not into it, I stopped immediately. Most guys probably wouldn't have stopped. | |
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| Did I miss something???
Posted: 10/25/2009 2:35:19 PM | Come on..I am with Adventuresome..
I want details!
It sounds interesting....
besides..this is the funniest forum I have seen in awhile...
so..how did you make your move?
edit: I see that you now posted the info...when did she say that she did not want to see you again?
that info is not in your earlier posts...
is she very young?
perhaps she did not realize that she was putting out a neon sign..that said..****me! | |
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| Did I miss something???
Posted: 10/25/2009 4:32:05 PM | | What game is she playing?? I don't see anything--she said outright she didn't want to **** him, she's not that kind of girl (yet lol). So, she likes to make out and fool around rather than ****. Why does this make her lolo? Lots of people don't just **** the first or second time they have a date. | |
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| Did I miss something???
Posted: 10/25/2009 4:36:21 PM | CassaGo - the issue is she said she didn't give "any signs/signals"
She said she didn't want to fool around or anything.
Apparently she just wanted to watch the movie and give massages and take off her pants :) | |
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| Did I miss something???
Posted: 10/25/2009 5:12:27 PM | Most guys probably wouldn't have stopped.
Hm, I have more faith in men than you, I guess.
So, she told you to your face she wasn't into doing anything, but you "forgot"? Perhaps you also "misread", then. I have no idea--have her post her side of the story here so we can effectively comment.
I actually once had a very strange male roomie. He was in a hurry one morning, so he JUMPED INTO THE SHOWER WITH ME. Naked. But he didn't mean anything. So there ARE naive people out there.
====================
I'm sure you'll feel great once you're vindicated. WTF?! | |
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| Did I miss something???
Posted: 10/25/2009 5:19:18 PM | We had our 'clarification' discussion over msn.
I actually ran my major arguing points by her to see if she was ok with them before I posted. I told her I would send her the link if enough people responded. So I'll send it to her soon.
I think I'm a fair person, so I'll give her a chance to say her piece :) | |
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| Did I miss something???
Posted: 10/25/2009 10:15:27 PM | She's on ****in' crack If she thinks she didn't send out signals; that's the bottom line.
And like I said before, you should tell her that If she pulls that shit with the wrong guy, that next time things may not end so well for her. | |
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| Did I miss something???
Posted: 10/25/2009 11:08:36 PM | She is totally F##cking with you man. Plain and simple. There ARE women out there like this.
If you notice, everything is on her terms. You go to HER place. SHE suggests what you do(sit on the couch, not sit on the couch, watch a movie, walk her dog). SHE is leading your interactions. You are the man, act like one. Not to say you have to dominate 100 percent of the time but you are allowing yourself to be led, like a puppy. She's jerking your chain.
Run do not walk to the nearest exit. This stuff just gets progressively worse. | |
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| Did I miss something???
Posted: 10/31/2009 9:31:35 AM | I'll probably send her the link to this post in a couple of days and see what she thinks.
If you look at it from a very simple point of view, there are such obvious signals
Day 1 talk on POF
Day 2 go out - girl invites guy home
Day 3 go out girl invites guy home & into her bed?
If a girl invites you into her bed after knowing her less than 48 hours, that's a clear sign lol.
Anyway, thanks for all the posts :) | |
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| Did I miss something???
Posted: 10/31/2009 9:45:49 AM | If she genuinely doesn't believe that all of this looked and sounded like multiple - and unambiguously direct and intense - come-ons, I just hope she never has children. People that stupid shouldn't breed.
And kudos to you for your restraint - you would have been perfectly justified in telling her off and walking out there and then. I'm kind of sorry you didn't. I really think she deserved it. | |
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| Did I miss something???
Posted: 11/15/2009 1:13:33 PM | | You missed the fact that she is a control freak, and a tease, and wanted things to proceed at her pace, rather than yours. When you took some initiative, it upset her as she was no longer The Queen Bee in charge of everything. Rather than letting her tease and seduce, you-as she wanted-you tried to seduce her...which took power away from her and gave it to you. That bothered her. She is insane, and should be avoided in future. Realize that you had a lucky escape. Imagine getting her pregnant, and then marrying her, and having her control every aspect of your life. | |
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| Did I miss something???
Posted: 11/15/2009 8:35:26 PM | | ^^^^^^^^^Break it down like a fraction. You should of just went with her flow. To the ladies you don't invite men into your house,your bedroom, let him take off anything other than his coat. Than you with the flirting and the touching get upset when a man makes a move. Thats not right. Do it or don't. Just don't mislead the weak among us. | |
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| Did I miss something???
Posted: 11/24/2009 4:17:34 AM |
I'll probably send her the link to this post in a couple of days and see what she thinks.
If you look at it from a very simple point of view, there are such obvious signals
Day 1 talk on POF
Day 2 go out - girl invites guy home
Day 3 go out girl invites guy home & into her bed?
If a girl invites you into her bed after knowing her less than 48 hours, that's a clear sign lol.
Anyway, thanks for all the posts :)
I understand you are baffled about this. But she is through. Why aren't you? Belaboring the point by making a thread on the forum where you met and then sending it to her for feedback is over the top.
She misled you. It's over. It was only two dates... over the span of two days. Big deal. Regardless of your reasoning for belaboring the issue, it's still an odd choice to make. You should probably just get back to fishing.
I also wonder what the rest of the story is... because it seems like something totally turned her off but she doesn't want to say that. If that's the case I'm sure you aren't even aware, so it wouldn't show up in your version of things. For the sake of your ego, perhaps you should leave well-enough alone.
Good luck. | |
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| Did I miss something???
Posted: 11/24/2009 7:11:39 AM | Agree with CassaGo: She took off her pants...what, sweats? And under was a pair of shorts....OP says these were "spandex shorts." Okay...like workout shorts? Or is he misidentifying boyshorts or a tanga...something that is definitely designed/intended to be sexy (not that a hot girl with nice legs in spandex workout shorts is hard on the eyes).
Given, she was playing games but the OP then strips off HIS pants, and is standing there in his BVDs. Um, just a thought: you leave that 'til you are pretty damned sure things are progressing to that stage, or risk looking like one of those silly-assed guys in a romantic comedy when she disappears into the bathroom only to reappear, finding him standing in only his shorts, while she's dressed to catch her flight out....
I'd say she is a bit of a tease...but what's wrong with that? | |
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| Did I miss something???
Posted: 11/24/2009 6:06:30 PM | | Obviously you jumped the gun and she wasn't quite ready, so you rushed things a bit. Maybe she wanted to play and flirt more, and you just ruined the mood. But hey, get a life. You are too precise and mechanical. Forget the point thing.... yuck! And how you mechanically illustrated this date is just a real turn off for me. I would never date you again, sorry. Listing the movements on the date by numbers? 1...2...3... and so on? What number is having sex? Hmmm.....I think the lectures have made you very boring, sorry. Also, you are doing things by the book. Go with the flow... don't plan things and don't be so mechanical and do things step by step. Go with the flow. Hmm..... | |
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