| He's just not that interested
Posted: 10/24/2009 8:58:16 PM | I absolutely refuse to take advice from someone that invites a stranger into her home after chatting for 2 hours.
Next! | |
|
| He's just not that interested
Posted: 10/24/2009 9:13:36 PM |
if someone invites me to watch a movie - I EXPECT TO WATCH A MOVIE
Well, sometimes it is what it is...
I am competely unbothered by the fact that he dropped me.
OK, raise your hands, who is buying it? Hm..No hands... | |
|
| He's just not that interested
Posted: 10/24/2009 9:20:48 PM | After a couple hours, he agree that he would come over and we would watch a movie. All goes well, he ends up staying the night, and leaves in the morning. No big deal.
Uh, wow. That's worrisome. Forget about the rest of your post- why in the hell would you let someone you barely know stay at your place? Ted Bundy was a charming guy too, ya know. If I were your dad, I'd be upset right about now. You better be careful. | |
|
| He's just not that interested
Posted: 10/24/2009 10:01:50 PM | I'm a little surprised at the number of posts remarking on the personal choices here, as, though they seem weird and perhaps dangerous to me, too, I think the advice contained herein is very sound.
It also sounds like it was written by a man.
Ladies, I know this has probably happened countless times, and you sit there wondering what the hell went wrong, what the hell it is that you could have possibly done to have turned him off so fast. Here's the thing. 99% of the time you did nothing.
I mean, is it just me, or is that the voice of Christian Carter? Seems to me he generally says something reassuring like that (and starts it with "Ladies"), then follows with, "But if you want to know how to PREVENT this, BUY MY BOOK and I will tell you the SECRET of ATTRACTION!"
Well, whoever you are, this has not happened to me countless times, or in fact at all, though I see similar grievances a lot on the forums from both sexes. But, thanks anyway! Because I agree that just letting it go is a good idea when it does happen. | |
|
| He's just not that interested
Posted: 10/24/2009 10:27:03 PM | | ^^^So true! It is probably some guys trying to single out targets to private message later! | |
|
| He's just not that interested
Posted: 10/29/2009 12:48:10 AM | | If this happens, it's not personal. It usually never is. A guy just loses interest sometimes, and so do women. It might be subconscious, maybe it's their voice, or chemistry, or their smell, or their smile, but it doesn't do it for you. Sometimes a girl doesn't "do anything wrong." A guy just realizes that he's not feeling it. | |
|
| He's just not that interested
Posted: 10/29/2009 2:31:43 AM | YOU should take your own advice and "move on to the next number" and for you that NUMBER should be DATING 101!!!
If you don't RESPECT yourself, why should a man respect you???
You are creating your own DRAMA!!! | |
|
| He's just not that interested
Posted: 10/29/2009 2:45:10 AM | Puh-lease, OP! C'mon, you gave up the goods too fast and he just wasn't into a relationship or dating you would interfere with his relationship with his girlfriend or wife. i looked your your pics, and you are very attractive.
so what went wrong??? c'mon, we all went to highschool and this sort of stuff happened countless times and unlike the older fugly dudes on this site, i'm not going to play stupid with you.
you need to watch that movie "he's just not into you." if you want the "spiel" of what goes on in guys minds, heck, i'll lay it all out with you; i'll be your on-line coach if you want and i'll reveal all. look at my past threads, you'll see a theme that i'm not responding to anyones questions as if i have some type of sympathy agenda.
but, reading your thread, you sound like the typical sucker to me. but you had fun as well, so why are you complaining? why would you even want to settle down with someone you slept with on your first night? that never happens in the movies, or in literature.... why did you think your case, or YOU, was different? | |
|
| He's just not that interested
Posted: 10/29/2009 2:59:36 AM | I'm really surprised to see so many responses from people regarding her decision to invite him over after chatting for 2 hours...seems to me 10-20 yrs ago the thing people did was to hang out at the bar waiting for that "special" person they could buy a few drinks for (or get a few drinks purchased for them), perhaps dance for an hour or two, with the sole purpose of winding up tangled in the sheets around 2am for a romp of drunken, sweaty sex...or do I have it wrong?? All those jokes about waking up to someone who clearly was not as attractive as you thought they were the night before when you had your beer goggles on...they wouldn't be so popular if it didn't happen. And in order for that scenario to happen, it would have to be a stranger you just invited back to your place (or hotel room)...and if indeed that was a stranger, then it isn't much different than what the OP has done here. Minus the booze, the music, and the smokey atmosphere of a seedy dive bar...lol And I guess minus the sex according to the OP (but I'd have to say I find that hard to believe...you may not have had intercourse, but I'd bet there was SOME sort of sexual activity going on...at least some 2nd base activity! haha)
I agree you should proceed with caution when dealing with someone via the internet. But to live in a constant state of paranoia makes me wonder why you would meet anyone from the internet at all??? The guy could rape you/kill you just as likely on the 10th date as the 1st date!
To the OP: thanks for sharing your story. But I want to let you in on a little secret...*whispers* "Not all women need closure" *gasp* Especially if the entire "relationship" only lasted about a week. Sometimes it's easier to just disappear than to have that "I don't like you anymore" conversation. Sad but true. Can't be nice all the time. And if I had a guy calling me multiple times in a day, that'd turn me off pronto. He probably wouldn't get much of an explanation from me...if any...  | |
|
| He's just not that interested
Posted: 10/29/2009 4:09:55 AM | | Why are all of the women responding in such an angry and ridiculing matter??? She is selling no one, on one night stands. She has used HER own personal experience as a basis of conversation, to help others that may have felt confused by rejection in any form. IF you are her mother, siblings or close friends, you would sit down with her concerned and speak privately to her about the danger she put herself into. But your not. You've eaten her alive with your words like Pirhanna's. She's a beautiful girl and as women you could have written her notes of encouragement and kindness. She had a right to put her experience in forum and speak of the" Rejection" and the" Experience" and "Lesson" she learned fom it. You should all be ashamed of yourself??!! You do not help people by tearing them down, you build them up and encourage them to make better choices. Her advice was credible based upon her experience of "rejection". Her decision is not what she put out there to defend. It was used as a basis for the topic of rejection..not on how to interpret her choices that evening. Be women who support and love each other, be kind and listen. You have used bias and prejudice to fuel your discussion. You potray yourselfs as if you are towns folk with pitchforks and sticks of fire to hunt down this woman and stamp her with the Scarlet Letter!! What I am wondering though, is if water is thrown on YOU will you melt?? | |
|
| He's just not that interested
Posted: 10/29/2009 4:31:58 AM | ^^^ omg, that's because her own personal experience is astoundingly ridiculous and some of us are just GOBSMACKED.... by her own words, the only reason she didn't jump into the sack with the guy is because "he's just not that interested" , lol. here, let me repeat it for you verbatim, since you seem a little, er, contextually handicapped:
----------------------------------------------
This is just an example of something that has recently happened to me to hopefully help other women "GET OVER IT" Week ago I engage in a conversation with a guy who contacted me via POF. After a couple hours, he agree that he would come over and we would watch a movie. ALl goes well, he ends up staying the night, and leaves in the morning. No big deal.
----------------------------------------------
ha! notes of encouragement and kindness my ass. she's lacking the most basic level of common sense but wow, she wants to hand it out? the only encouragement OP needs is to wake the hell up and grow a brain. this is not an encounter group handing out milk and cookies to retards. we call 'em like we see 'em. if she wants encouragement and kindness maybe she can call her mother. | |
|
| |
| He's just not that interested
Posted: 10/29/2009 5:30:20 AM | OP - you shouldn't let strangers you met on the internet come to your house after only knowing them for a few hours. I think you know that now...
As for the rest of your post: Yes, this happens all the time here. I *think* guys do this because they think if they tell us they don't want to see us anymore we'll make a scene or start to cry or something. 9 times out of 10, most normal women (given the opportunity) would just say "Sorry you feel that way. I enjoyed our time together and wish you the best of luck"
Unfortunatly not too many of us are given a chance to take the high road.
Its just the nature of the beast.
As a lesson for you, maybe next time take things a little slower. If you had gotten to know him a bit you might have realized he was flakey and wouldn't have been digging him so much. | |
|
| He's just not that interested
Posted: 10/29/2009 11:40:47 AM | | It seems the rudest, angriest women on here are also the least attractive in their look as well as speech. I'm sorry your life sucks........but you planned it that way. ........and If you have to make a big deal out of this, it's probably because your not. | |
|
| He's just not that interested
Posted: 10/29/2009 12:56:51 PM | Wow, I can't believe how many people missed the entire point of the OP's post.
I get it. Sometimes things don't work out, and there is no reason. Or, the reason really just doesn't' matter in the grand scheme of things. Don't sweat it. Move on. | |
|
| He's just not that interested
Posted: 10/29/2009 1:06:32 PM | ^^^I didn't miss the point of her advice to us fishies, but you can't deny that she took a HUGE RISK by bringing a total stranger into her home.
OP: You engage a total stranger with a week's worth of convo, and then you invite him to your home?!! And he stays overnight?!!
You're the type of person we see about on the NEWS!!! My GAWD......... | |
|
| He's just not that interested
Posted: 10/29/2009 1:56:24 PM | That guy is the MAN...lol!! 2 hours of talking and he got sum AZZ!! Whooo... he needs 2 write a book considering how soooo many cats on here are trying to get LAID!!!
Of course these bar/club chicks (or used to be) are gonna have a problem with it (probably did the same thing themselves) I'm sure they never practiced "common sense" a few times in their younger years and had casual sex and one nite stands!!
Seriously, I think he got the PANTIES and did a Casper and got GHOST!! | |
|
| He's just not that interested
Posted: 10/29/2009 1:57:52 PM | | OP, all I can say is WOW, I understand it wasn't a rant, but if you were trying to give women sound advice you failed. Letting a guy come to your house within a couple of hours of talking and spend the night is just crazy. | |
|
| He's just not that interested
Posted: 10/31/2009 10:59:20 AM | WOW,after reading your profile and seeing that you didn't want to have an intimate encounter what the heck do you think you did. let me spell it out YOU HAD AN INTIMATE ENCOUNTER enough said. | |
|
| He's just not that interested
Posted: 10/31/2009 11:29:29 AM |
After a couple hours... he ends up staying the night, and leaves in the morning
I call him later in the day
I call him at lunch
Leave him a message on Tuesday night
My final attempt to reach him Wednesday afternoon
"what did I do?" see above. | |
|
| He's just not that interested
Posted: 10/31/2009 11:48:08 AM | | Actually...never happened to me...i dont spread my legs for a man after meeting him a few hours beforehand....he got what he wanted and moved on to the next women...i can see why you have this revolving dilema...pretend your a guy....would you want to pursue a women that slept with you only after hours of meeting her.... | |
|
| He's just not that interested
Posted: 10/31/2009 2:55:05 PM | I have to agree with butter apple. such a lot of nasty remarks from bitter bitter women.
I think the reason for this is thus -
These bitter bitter jealous women would secretly love to have the balls to invite a guy round to their house to watch TV and have sex.. OH NO!! they are much too NICE for that! haha. And even if they did, and it worked out the way it did with the OP, they would be absolutely devestated.
This girl took it on the chin. NEXT! We arent all the same, you prissy women should be grateful that girls like this make you look so damn GOOD! lol. Its her reaction they dont like. If she was wining about why didnt he get in touch theyd be quick to condemn her. She didnt. Period. Leave her alone, get in the real world.
Whats it to any of you what she did? Women can be so nasty.  | |
|
| He's just not that interested
Posted: 10/31/2009 6:12:39 PM |
seems to me 10-20 yrs ago the thing people did was to hang out at the bar waiting for that "special" person they could buy a few drinks for (or get a few drinks purchased for them), perhaps dance for an hour or two, with the sole purpose of winding up tangled in the sheets around 2am for a romp of drunken, sweaty sex
l remember those days, although it usually involved white powder more than alcohol (l'm not saying l participated in those activities, but l certainly saw it 1000's of times) l don't recall seeing any jump in the rape/murder statistics either. One thing l will say is it's easy to spot the bitter *he only wants one thing* (is that because of her experience...is that all SHE has to offer...that's why they left her?) women. They usually try and hide behind a mask of superiority. | |
|
| He's just not that interested
Posted: 10/31/2009 7:05:21 PM | I would never consider inviting someone I just met to my home.. but of course I'm older, wiser, and have a kid to worry about. Those issues aside - I see where the OP is going with this. (funny how threads go off on tangents).
Totally agree, you don't know each other that well, no explanation needed, it may be he's just not that interested, could be something I did, maybe (and quite often) it's something his ex wife did. 
There's nothing worse than a goodbye phonecall, email or text from someone you don't know enough about to "get". I never sweat it or take it personally. Different story in a relationship that's intimate on all levels. Then - I wanna know!
eta: I think it's so true about the men vs women thing with closure. I never looked at it that way before, but yes we need it, and you guys seem to do just fine without. Good point! | |
|
| He's just not that interested
Posted: 10/31/2009 7:28:26 PM | OP, it's not an advice to us woman, it's rather a runt. What's your advice here? Really, I am clueless.
Obviously, something really bothered you, so you had to open a thread, about what?
Gathering your story, you invited a stranger to your house, and after few exchanges you don't hear from him, what happened here? Scratching my head, where is this emoticon.
Really, simply ... move on, and don't invite strangers to your house for overnight, that's just simple as that. | |
|
Home
login 
