| He's just not that interested
Posted: 11/1/2009 12:30:57 AM | | well maybe you shouldn't have invited a perfect stranger over to your house and f*cked him. not sure why you would do something like that anyway. i mean weren't you concerned for your safety?? you ALWAYS should meet someone in public at least until you get to know them, sheesh. you are lucky he didn't turn out to be a lunatic. | |
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| He's just not that interested
Posted: 11/1/2009 12:35:59 AM | | if you didn't have sex with him, why did he spend the night?? do you always invited total strangers into your home and then allow them to spend the night?? you certainly are trusting and naive. | |
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| He's just not that interested
Posted: 11/1/2009 1:12:40 AM | | So, lets say the guy did call you and said, "sorry, but I'm not interested in you". Would that explain things anymore than no response? I would think not. You met and talked a few times, and he lost interest. What's there to explain? | |
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| He's just not that interested
Posted: 11/1/2009 4:27:46 AM |
kingsfan72: These bitter bitter jealous women would secretly love to have the balls to invite a guy round to their house to watch TV and have sex.. OH NO!! they are much too NICE for that!
Your blond is showing
Bitter - Jealous and Nice have nothing to do with it.
Safety and common sense have everything to do with it.
Even the men agree on this one.......yet you didn't mention that in your
"I'm trying to make myself look better than these other women" rant.
It seems the rudest, angriest women on here are also the least attractive in their look as well as speech. I'm sorry your life sucks........but you planned it that way. ........and If you have to make a big deal out of this, it's probably because your not.
and you trashing pretty much every woman in this thread says "what" about you?
I'd much rather be less attractive than have your attitude anyday  | |
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| He's just not that interested
Posted: 11/1/2009 4:13:58 PM |
It seems the rudest, angriest women on here are also the least attractive in their look as well as speech. I'm sorry your life sucks........but you planned it that way. ........and If you have to make a big deal out of this, it's probably because your not.
whoa, why is it the rudest, angriest women are always the least attractive? thats like sayin beautiful women are always perfect in everything that they do. so, if a beautiful woman runs her mouth or ****s someone on day one, thats ok? its funny how ppl disregard an least attractive woman than a beautiful one not sayin the poster isnt attractive.
i definitely find that line to be very rude and inconsiderate. ive had plenty of guys tell me that i was unattractive in my looks cuz i was a rude ****. id rather be unattractive and not be a doormat, instead of some idiot. | |
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| He's just not that interested
Posted: 11/1/2009 4:42:43 PM | Firefly,
This is not a rant. This is not to complain about the male species as a whole.
99% of the time you did nothing. As women, we always expect some kind of "closure" in instances like this. Number one rule about men. They DO NOT need closure. This is a female thing only.
It may not be a rant, but definitely is about the male species as a whole. :)
I totally disagree with you on the closure thing. That's a stereotype, a myth. It's the person who doesn't want to see the other person who doesn't need closure. If it's the guy disappearing, he doesn't need closure... if it's the girl disappearing, she doesn't need closure. It'd be COMPLETELY silly to say that guys (even in general) don't desire closure when they're being blown off -- many forum threads will attest to the fact that many do. Again, it's the person being blown off who wants closure.
In your example, I do agree that yes, you didn't do anything wrong at all. Obviously if he's calling you a lot after the first 'date', he liked you. In that kind of situation, you would have known you said something completely bad and that was a possible cause ("My mom's coming into town tomorrow, I want you to meet her", "You've got a small penis, but I think that's okay", "I bought tickets to this great concert on New Years for us").
I think the more common "wtf" blow-off where women (or men) wonder what they did wrong if anything, is when someone seems REALLY interested in them, they go out on a date (w/ or w/o bedroom action), but then disappear directly after or a wishy-washy phone call afterwards then disappear.
In those cases I would say they COULD have done something wrong (nobody else was there to observe), but more than likely it's these scenarios:
a) They have an ex or current significant other lingering around, and had to hit the eject button
b) You were a fine option, but a better option came along... or a great one that they thought they missed with someone else, and lucky-them, they got another chance. Bye bye you.
c) They weren't that into you, but had a good time and liked fooling around or would like to, but... they don't want to drag things out with someone they're not really into, so for the best, they just disappear. Could also be due to situational factors like kids, driving distance, etc., instead of just being 'okay' looking, too. What are they going to say, tho if they would? "You know, you're okay looking, and it was fun and all, but I hate the drama with someone I'm not that into, and I won't be that into you... I'd be up for some (more?) sex, sure, but that'd just get complicated.."? | |
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Liena
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Joined: 10/7/2009
Msg: 58 | |
| He's just not that interested
Posted: 11/1/2009 7:32:13 PM | I think the men who disappear like this are just cowards. If you are brave enough to post the profile, send a message, start the relationship, you should be brave enough to finish it too. That will be only fair! Nobody needs to guess what happened... nobody is hurt. That man does not have any self-respect and definitely is unable to respect the woman.
Confident-realist, thank you for your perspective! | |
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| He's just not that interested
Posted: 11/2/2009 1:22:16 PM | The OP is lucky she met a guy who she barely knew at all and invited him to her home for a first date and didn't get physically assaulted. Real bad idea.
Ok the OP's date did NOT physically assault her. It's likely that the dude thought an invitation to the OP's home for a first date meant that sex was impending. Since he stayed over without having sex, it's natural that he might have conflicted thoughts after the date.
Ladies, I know this has probably happened countless times I sure as hell hope that this internet first date scenario has happened too often. That would mean too many women were voluntarily putting themselves at risk. | |
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| He's just not that interested
Posted: 11/2/2009 1:43:40 PM | None of this ads up. After talking in the internet, the OP invites stranger into her house. First wrong move on a first date, because it usually has a heavy implication of sex. So even if there was no sex, bad move. Second, the OP does not tell us about whether they had sex or not, or just messed around, but obviously since the guy stayed all night, something happened or didn't happen. So, since the OP is not providing complete information, or just her side of events, I can speculate that two things happened. One, they did have sex, he felt he completed his conquest, time to move on. If the guy used a lot of innuendo during his email phase, this was his game, this was his intend, he got what he wanted, move on to the next. The other case scenario was that there was NO SEX, but the guy stayed all night, so this gives me impression that there was plenty of escalation that went, nowhere, so the next day the guy says, this woman is a tease, time to move on.
Am I missing something? Can you elucidate us? | |
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| He's just not that interested
Posted: 11/2/2009 2:16:24 PM | hmmm, only read first page. "chat to someone on dating site, invite over to watch DVD ?? sleep over, txt pleasantries then nothing". then you think he's not interested.
How many times has this happened ? how many times has he done this ? How many times are you gonna let this happen ? Blimey glad it's not me. I've made a few friends here but not ready to meet up to watch DVD n stay overnite. My idea of this site is to make friends/join group n share interests. For now no-one shares my interests but i will stay here because everyone so friendly (without DVD's). Maybe one day i'll meet up with someone and we'll have mutual interests n we can meet up. Then see if friendship/relationship might go further.
Sorry but title of this thread isn't right - maybe "we spoke, i let him in, now he's gone" might have been a better title.
my pennies worth
dave | |
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| He's just not that interested
Posted: 11/2/2009 2:38:41 PM | He got a better work out in the gym and decided it was more valuable to spend the time there instead.
Cruel but true. Happened all the time when I was in college. If a girl got in the way of work out schedule, running schedule, rugby or harrier hash events, then it was off to the next one. And if she ever suggested I choose her over them, she got instant closure. | |
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| He's just not that interested
Posted: 11/3/2009 9:15:20 AM | Confident, You have nailed it!!!!!!!
Now, you might need some cl0sure about an 1 yr exclusive relationship.
Nay, didn't get it then either, just poof! gone. (ex g/f called him back, so he went a flying)
Guess he wasn't all that into me.
outdoorgirl | |
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| He's just not that interested
Posted: 11/3/2009 10:35:52 AM | In response to ButterApple:
I agree with you that no one on here should be judging her actions but keep in mind your doing the exact same thing they are. You are expressing your opinion about the subject whether its negative or positive..and if She didn't want feedback from complete strangers-DONT POST A THREAD IN THE FORUMS! I think that its lame your saying most of the girls who don't agree with her have to be ugly. I don't agree with her..I'm not ugly-far from it. | |
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| He's just not that interested
Posted: 11/3/2009 11:03:01 AM | Sorry this has happened to you.
Well, when you dig a man out of nowhere ( = a virtual internet zone), don't be surprised when he disappears back in the nowhere zone just as easily.
Have you known anything about this man before letting him into your house? WRONG, red flag UP... I would hardly decide to meet anyone off here in RL, but if I did, it'd be a public place and I'd limit the first meeting to 30 mins to 1 hour just for a drink at the public place.
Maybe this is a lesson for you. How can you know this guy isn't violent, perverted etc ( no, I haven't watched too many movies, these people exist for real).... also note that Internet is a big magnet for all sorts of perverts and fetishists.
I admire you really... you are very brave, or maybe just clueless. But you'll learn now | |
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| He's just not that interested
Posted: 11/3/2009 11:16:00 AM |
Week ago I engage in a conversation with a guy who contacted me via POF. After a couple hours, he agree that he would come over and we would watch a movie. ALl goes well, he ends up staying the night, and leaves in the morning. No big deal. I like him, he likes me, asks me to call.
So let me get this straight... you invited a perfect stranger into your house... and he stays the night. He MAY have fu*ked you, may not have... doesn't matter. ARE you INSANE or desperate or both?? Would you think this was a wise thing to do? Would you advise say... your best friend or daughter against doing just that? I would hope you would.
You took your safety and risked it. He could have robbed you, raped you or killed you. Sounds to me like he banged you on "date" #1 and simply has zero respect for you... which is how he's treating you now. He either fu*ked you or did a lot of other stuff. Be truthful. You don't know this guy from Adam.
Why do this to yourself? Why not date... you know a REAL date where you go out in public and get to know somebody over time? Then, the chances of him doing this to you is greatly diminished. | |
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| He's just not that interested
Posted: 11/3/2009 11:17:38 AM |
WHOA WHOA WHOA! I am NOT saying I slept with him, nor am I even saying i was expecting a relationship.. I am competely unbothered by the fact that he dropped me. This post was PURELY to be taken as something to help those girls who are DEVESTATED because a guy stops calling them. You all have me completely wrong!!
Ohh, but it doesn't come as a big surprise from a guy you practically don't know at all, such as the one in your case.
Some guys leave after 5 years of marriage never to call again. And you think this is a big tragedy? Yea right, it's rather a blessing... he's most likely one of those serial pathological Internet daters.. | |
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| He's just not that interested
Posted: 11/3/2009 12:05:34 PM | Shes not saying its a big tragedy!!!!! shes just saying "hes not that interested"
Whether she had slept with him or not he could easily of dissapeared! shes not here for a lecture or health and safety advice.
oh ... just carry on bashing. | |
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