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| Dating and Depression
Posted: 11/6/2009 5:30:45 PM | Depression is a huge problem that affects a lot of people, yet it remains something that many do not want to talk about or even acknowledge that they may have it. I can understand it being a major concern if you are also in the dating world and trying to market yourself to the opposite sex.
Is it a result of boredom and lack of willingness to step out of your comfort zone or explore the world outside of your box? Some people have stated joining a gym, becoming more involved in sports or coaching children, volunteering in your community, learning to play a musical instrument, singing, joining a hiking/skiing club etc. Sometimes a career change can be the answer.
After dating someone with clinical depression, I found myself falling into the pit of depression myself occasionally and I just was not strong enough or equipped with the knowledge of how to help them and keep my own sanity at the same time. Two depressed people under the same roof would be a recipe for disaster. It's just not fair to depend on one person to be 100% responsible for your personal happiness. I think that other people around you can be helpful.........but at the end of the day, only you know how much joy you feel and what the potential for greater happiness could be. | |
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| Dating and Depression
Posted: 11/6/2009 6:41:34 PM | I've got some different advice and you wont like it however I'm just always honest on here.
Look at what you've done here, you've asked for advice and that isnt what you want.
So take control because you can have what you want without asking permission, you are a man so dont make these women on here into your therapist, thats what they have all done in reponse to your asking the question.
They do this so what you need to realise is that as a man you are the stimulus and they are the response so dont go around asking for them to take care of you they'll then believe you need help. In contrast you could be the craziest man alive and if you created that your life was filled with desire from women it would be. They would simply go with your creation, because you're really in charge.
There is no solving depression as it relates to attracting women, suppress your instinct to reveal your lower value and show your higher value instead, you do have one. I know you wont like this answer however my answer is to hide it, find another game to play. You are setting yourself up for rejection by talking like this.
Handle those ****es ;)
And women dont attack me because youre not really ****es however he needs to think like this he needs to be in charge. | |
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| Dating and Depression
Posted: 11/25/2009 10:46:35 AM | Ive just ended a relationship (2 days ago)with a man who has similar angst like you.
Ive tried everything I could to help him and yet nothing happened.
There's no day that he couldnt stop crying.
He hates his job I tried to look for a job for him and he couldnt even fill up a resume nor didnt know how to make one.
I patiently sat down with him (via online) just to fill up the application with him but he couldnt finish the application as he said filling in the application was bit complicated.
Everyday for 3 months I have to call him and checked and to help him drag himself out in bed to work.
He worried about everything,his old car that gave him crap,his rent,his phone bills etc.
Told him that he needed double jobs in order to survive but he scared to try or he said he tried but no one hired him because of his conditions.Aside of being depressed he has ADD,he has panic attacks that he blew off some interviews.
Everyday he phoned me that he scared that he couldnt make it..I dont know what else I would do.
I embraced his depression and willing to wait and helped him as much as I could though sometimes I felt drained by his crying spells and his negativities.
I could stand his depression but I just couldnt stand his attitude towards his depression
that he couldnt do nor helped himself to fight for it.
I was the one fighting for him and he just felt helpless until I gave up.
Im scared everytime he said he couldnt make it.
Yesterday he texted me and he said his dad bought him a new car and he went to the gymn and ran.
He also told me that I didnt really care because If I cared I wouldnt bail out at this time he needed me most.
Ive tried everything but I felt he sometimes made an excuse and wanted me to understand him like"look I have a depression" so bare with me.
I felt that he was being selfish that it was always 'HIM" he didnt think that people around him needed some breaks as well.
I did my part to be there for him,but I felt he didnt do his part leaving himself helpless.
I wont involve myself to anyone who has depression anymore,sorry I might sound selfish but im the wrong person to be with to depressed people. | |
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