| No orgasm: dealbreaker?
Posted: 10/26/2009 9:46:10 AM | It is not up to the fellow to "give you an orgasm." Women are responsible for their own orgasms. She must first educate herself about her own body and what excites her- Eg. vaginal peniteration- oral sex- a combination of both as well as what kinds of stimulation turns her on. Eg. touching of breasts-kissing-stroaking etc. Then she needs to teach her partner. However if the sex partner does not listen or is not interested in learning what she likes she should dump his sorry but. If there are problems in a relationship I would suggest a relationship counsellor. Often a woman's lack of sexual desire and/or lack of sexual response are symptoms of relationship difficulties. | |
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| No orgasm: dealbreaker?
Posted: 10/26/2009 9:57:07 AM | Men faking orgasm? Hmmm.. either there IS ejaculate.. or there ISNT. If it's bareback.. she'll KNOW if he came or not.
Unless he is carrying a syringe of eggwhites in his hand.. THEN the camera can do the "moneyshot" closeup. | |
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| No orgasm: dealbreaker?
Posted: 10/26/2009 10:17:27 AM | Your orgasm is YOUR responsibility.
More than having an orgasm or not, it's that attitude that would be a deal breaker for me.
If my orgasm is my responsibility and your orgasm is your responsibility, why not just masturbate in separate rooms on our own time?
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| No orgasm: dealbreaker?
Posted: 10/26/2009 10:28:27 AM | Ah yes, pre-orgasmic women. I've done battle with these types before, and it's usually a frustrating battle indeed.
As a man, I consider it about 80% my responsibility to get my female partner to orgasm because I'm the one with the physique and anatomy to do the bulk of the thrusting, lifting, positioning, etc. Also my staying power is paramount to the success of the experience. In short, most of the mechanics that sex entails are dependent on my athletic ability, and if I can't keep up to the task, she's screwed (but not in the good way  )
However all that effort will go for naught if the woman can't do her 20%, which is relaxing herself enough to enjoy the ride. 
In this sense, women that can't achieve orgasm bear a striking similarity to men with erectile dysfunction - occasionally the problem is legitimately physical, but most of the time their own mental issues are creating a block and taking them out of the game. Don't get me wrong, some partners just suck, and if your guy can only last 30 seconds, nobody can fault you. But with proper stimulation, I've found most women aged 25-40 only need 10-30 minutes of arousing activity to orgasm, if it's done the way they like.
1) I've dated girls with such repressive upbringings that they cannot even whisper about sex without feeling guilty/dirty (thanks Pops for protecting your little princess right into the nunnery/psych ward).
2) I've had relationships with some women that had so many body image issues that they considered themselves hideous in the nude and couldn't possibly enjoy themselves unless every light source was snuffed out and they had a glass of wine in them...
3) Then I've had other girls that were so unsure of whether or not they'd had an orgasm in their past relationships that they're too tense to allow themselves to have one now because they think there's something wrong with them (when in fact they might have simply had a lazy/inexperienced lover). Some lucky ones do but it takes them an hour and a complex series of hand signals to get there. 
So as a man, whenever I do have the misfortune to encounter one of these "challenging" ladies, I don't rush sex in the relationship. In fact it's the LAST thing I want to force them into until I've had time to strip away some of their insecurities/inhibitions with a combination of compassion, trust, full body massage, an elephant-sized dose of foreplay, and THEN maybe sex if all has gone well and she's in a relaxed enough mood.
If she STILL can't get there after all that, I wash my hands of it, and try to meet someone new because I've met proactive ladies out there than can orgasm at the drop of a hat to the point that they're rushing ME to finish because they've had their fill and can't take any more.  | |
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| No orgasm: dealbreaker?
Posted: 10/26/2009 11:09:52 AM |
If my orgasm is my responsibility and your orgasm is your responsibility, why not just masturbate in separate rooms on our own time?
My thoughts exactly! What would be the point of sex if each person does not make an effort to pleasure the other person. | |
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| No orgasm: dealbreaker?
Posted: 10/26/2009 11:13:26 AM |
I felt like they just wanted me to lie there and play dead like a blow-up doll.
Different strokes I guess but these guys were not only CLUELESS but were missing out big time ! | |
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| No orgasm: dealbreaker?
Posted: 10/26/2009 12:11:19 PM | If you were with someone for a while and they never gave you an orgasm, would you leave them? Would it be a legit excuse to end it, especially if there were other problems in the relationship? Or would that be a petty reason to dump someone?
All women can have an orgasm, each one is different, it can either be physical manipulation or psychological. It can take a little extra brains and work. Sometimes they don't even undertstand their own psychology completely and you can unlock them. Sometimes they understand part of themselves and their machine. I can be like driving a different car or rebuilding a motor.
Orgasm absence are not a dealbreaker, just a problem to work out. Couples should have the orgasms at the same time for best fertilization and happy children. Smiles on faces come from some event. | |
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| No orgasm: dealbreaker?
Posted: 10/26/2009 12:37:34 PM | If you were with someone for a while and they never gave you an orgasm, would you leave them?
No one "gives" you an orgasm. It's up to both parties to know what gets them off, and find their "soft spots". I'm assuming you've told each other what you like/dislike, etc..............??? Otherwise, how are you going to know?
Would it be a legit excuse to end it, especially if there were other problems in the relationship? Or would that be a petty reason to dump someone?
I highly doubt that two adults cannot find ways to make each other orgasm. If you have exhausted every conceivable way, then that's an issue. However, are you using this as an excuse to cheat/leave him (I noticed you're looking for an intimate encounter, so I'm guessing.............)? | |
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| No orgasm: dealbreaker?
Posted: 10/26/2009 7:19:49 PM | well yes wouldnt you? if you havent had a orgasm , and "other" problems and she didnt want to try to give you one wouldnt you leave....... | |
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| No orgasm: dealbreaker?
Posted: 10/26/2009 7:21:50 PM | | This is a morounic question.. everyone fakes it until they actually know what they're doing and I bet most the mates on here don't know that a female's REAL orgasm comes from a low gutteral sound, not the porno shyte the yanks churn out. That's performance and badly done! | |
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| No orgasm: dealbreaker?
Posted: 10/26/2009 8:09:19 PM | | As long as I get a chance to fake one of my own I couldn't care less! | |
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| No orgasm: dealbreaker?
Posted: 10/26/2009 8:19:23 PM | Men faking orgasm...if that ain't a pip. Like that would be hard to discern. You bet its a deal breaker in the sense of my own...for all others there is cyalis | |
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| No orgasm: dealbreaker?
Posted: 10/26/2009 11:15:14 PM |
If you were with someone for a while and they never gave you an orgasm, would you leave them? Would it be a legit excuse to end it, especially if there were other problems in the relationship? Or would that be a petty reason to dump someone?
Give you? Like... hand it to you?
What are you doing while waiting for the delivery?
It takes two to have bad sex, just like it takes two to have good sex.
If there are other problems and they are fixable, fix them.
If the problems are NOT fixable, sex is you last concern.
I'm just sayin' .........
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| No orgasm: dealbreaker?
Posted: 10/27/2009 5:09:58 AM | | I was tempted to say 'yes' but then I thought 'isn't getting an orgasm your responsibility.' There have been very few instances where I didn't get one so I don't know what it's like to be with someone who can't ever give you one. I don't even think I'd be initially attracted to a person I thought I couldn't orgasm from. | |
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| No orgasm: dealbreaker?
Posted: 10/27/2009 9:13:35 AM | I too have a problem with the statement: "Your orgasm is Your reponsibility".
Sure, when I'm by myself it is. But with a partner, they need to do Something...I mean, it's not gonna eat itself.  What if some guy wanted head and I told him "Your orgasm is Your reponsibility"? Hah. | |
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| No orgasm: dealbreaker?
Posted: 10/27/2009 9:25:47 AM |
I too have a problem with the statement: "Your orgasm is Your reponsibility".
Yea, and that's probably for the same reason others are having a "problem" with the same sentiment...
You people read what you wanna read and then go to town.
It IS your responsibility. No one else's. When you have a craving, let's say for ice cream, and you head to the local ice cream hut...when you walk in, the attendant has NO F*CKING IDEA what kinda ice cream you want. They have no CLUE what flavor suits you best. Which is your fave, or which one you see as poison. No one *I* know has ever walked in and said "You decide. Surprise me!" Probably because they'd just hawk the best seller (or the one that "needs to go") and who gives a shit if it's the one you want or not. You wanted ice cream, you got ice cream. Sucks to be you if it wasn't the flavor you wanted.
Just like with sex. You want sex, you get sex. You want good sex (see: orgasm) this is YOUR responsibility, not theirs. You need to tell your partner that lapping on you like a dehydrated puppy just ain't workin' for you. Or that instead of the pinkie, perhaps a couple longer digits would work best. Or instead of just straight up missionary they could maybe try doggie, or the scissors...or the spoon. You want sex, you'll get it...you want orgasms, then you better speak now or forever hold your peace.
So yea, your orgasm is YOUR responsibility. | |
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PiggyT
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Joined: 9/14/2009
Msg: 68 | |
| No orgasm: dealbreaker?
Posted: 10/27/2009 9:28:58 AM |
Men faking orgasm...if that ain't a pip. Like that would be hard to discern.
Yah?? I have done it. Seriously.
Last women I was with, I found I really wasn't interested in the final act as she was pretty selfish and I thought it was better saved for myself. | |
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| No orgasm: dealbreaker?
Posted: 10/27/2009 9:38:55 AM |
Would it be a legit excuse to end it, especially if there were other problems in the relationship? Or would that be a petty reason to dump someone?
Why would you need an excuse? Sounds like you want to dump someone and give him a good reason for it, and the most plausible reason you can come up with is lack of orgasm.
If you have no commitment, you can say Goodbye for any reason or no reason. | |
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| No orgasm: dealbreaker?
Posted: 10/27/2009 10:36:01 AM | | I believe in putting the womans wants, needs and desires before my own, and don't feel complete satisfaction if I am the only one that is getting pleased.. But you two should have a good enough relationship to share this between each other and if he can't figure out how to please you, tell him..if he can't then...I guess it depends on if your relationship is solid enough to do without.. | |
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| No orgasm: dealbreaker?
Posted: 10/28/2009 1:33:09 PM |
If you were with someone for a while and they never gave you an orgasm, would you leave them?
Yes but thankfully I've never had to.
I don't move on to sex with a man if he hasn't already proven he can bring me to orgasm while making out.
Delay penetration until he figures out how to get you off manually or orally if he can't do it through intercourse alone.
Hmmmmm...you said that you have never experienced orgasm with a partner so the problem may be you.
Don't expect someone to give you something that you are unable to receive or cannot give yourself.
If that's not the case then try men who actually care about you and your needs.
Would it be a legit excuse to end it, especially if there were other problems in the relationship?
You can end a relationship for any reason you like.
Or would that be a petty reason to dump someone?
Not at all. It's petty of him to not be concerned about you and your pleasure.
I know I'm responsible for my own orgasm, but if that's the case, why be in a relationship?
Exactly! Why bother?
You are responsible for your own experience insofar as you have to be able to communicate what it takes to get you there.
If you can't then it's your problem. If he won't then find someone who will.
Sure, when I'm by myself it is. But with a partner, they need to do Something...I mean, it's not gonna eat itself. What if some guy wanted head and I told him "Your orgasm is Your reponsibility"? Hah.
Ha! Exactly!
No, it's not going to eat itself so just make sure they clean the plate before you allow them move on to the next course...it's proper etiquette after all! | |
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| No orgasm: dealbreaker?
Posted: 10/30/2009 5:14:24 AM | Okay, yes, it is my responsibility to communicate what I need to O. I have no problem getting there flying solo.
But, if after four or five times together, he still bum rushes me so that the thought occurs to me that I could have gotten more flying solo, his a&& is on the curb. I don't have time for that. | |
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| No orgasm: dealbreaker?
Posted: 10/30/2009 6:02:39 AM | I dated a women who drank too much thereby preventing her to reach an orgasm. Yes, it`s a deal breaker...
No matter what we did she was unable to achieve an orgasm. She drank excessively,which made our love making a hindrance sometimes.
After continuous attempts of trying to help her reach climax our love making sessions which would go on for hours. I was only able to hit the mark once...I wasn`t too thrilled by this occurrence..She later admitted she had a problem with reaching an orgasm..
I believed her drinking made her less sexual and stimulation in her clitoris was numb..
I kept asking her if she would curtail her drinking issues at least when she was with me, she flatly refused and i thought it would be best to stop kidding ourselves.We partied as friends. | |
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| No orgasm: dealbreaker?
Posted: 10/30/2009 8:45:57 AM |
I know I'm responsible for my own orgasm, but if that's the case, why be in a relationship? Exactly! Why bother? You are responsible for your own experience insofar as you have to be able to communicate what it takes to get you there. If you can't then it's your problem. If he won't then find someone who will.
In a nutshell - this is really the bottom line.
If you can't orgasm yourself or don't know how - you have to take some of the blame when it's not happening.
But if you can do better with a dildo alone - what exactly is he doing there, really? Maybe you can get him to fetch a pizza or cook you something so at least he's useful. | |
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