| Does Sex Change How you feel ?
Posted: 10/28/2009 4:05:19 PM | No and No
The only difference in how i feel after the sex is
i am a little hungry and and maybe sleepy
depending on the night 
It really depends on how you relate after sex is what determines whether or not you keep the person long term. | |
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| Does Sex Change How you feel ?
Posted: 10/28/2009 4:31:52 PM | One problem I see it is implied that it is the fault of the "rules." As though we are supposed to take them as fact or accepted. That it is solely a standard or something that women alone go through or have to deal with.
IMO it is just as likely that the guy goes through a sense of self loathing and shame for using someone, or having ulterior motives he didn't recognize and wants to hide from, and then blaming the woman for being too easy in order to make himself feel better. "I didn't use her, I didn't objectify her, I wanted a relationship and the happy magical relationship, she was just a slut so I knew it wouldn't work out."
IOW it could just as likely be that he succumbs to "bad" behavior, runs away, and blames her, and/or himself and just hides from the consequences.
In even other words it means your questions seem to be based on assuming men are solely judging women, rather than judging themselves and then some are scapegoating women to avoid the consequences of self judgment. As it's easier to scapegoat, rationalize, and justify than change behavior.
if you genuinely liked her does it matter ?
Yes and no and it depends. The question is too vague and attempting to set up absolutes on something that is completely subjective. As each relationship and motives for having sex are different between different people.
Does that fact that she has sex with you early make you like her less ?
Yes and no and it depends. The question is too vague and attempting to set up absolutes on something that is completely subjective. As each relationship and motives for having sex are different between different people.
Does she have any less of a shot at being someone you would take serioulsy and want to be a signifigant part of your life ?
Yes and no and it depends. The question is too vague and attempting to set up absolutes on something that is completely subjective. As each relationship and motives for having sex are different between different people. | |
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| Does Sex Change How you feel ?
Posted: 10/28/2009 4:51:44 PM |
<--- ----real woman ....but the point is really moot. look, ..men & women are all going to have their standards of what IS right and what IS wrong..TO THEM. i have my standards and will not compromise regardless of how sexual i am. the hippocracy though is entertaining to say the least..wow i feel like im in D.C.
<--- --- God... but the point is really moot. It does not take much point to your online name and declare yourself what you wish as I have just demonstrated.
Regarding this claim:
... men & women are all going to have their standards of what IS right and what IS wrong..TO THEM.
I can only agree with: Men and women are going to have their standards.
Whether the standards ARE actually right, or actually right for the people who hold them, is a matter of great debate. In my experience people have standards that do nothing for them, or worse, have standards that are unrealistic and confine them into their own delusional world... which fine so long as their are on their own.
Regarding the hypocrisy, I don't see how I'm being a hypocrite. I hold opinions that some women don't agree with... is that what makes me a hypocrite? | |
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| Does Sex Change How you feel ?
Posted: 10/28/2009 9:30:44 PM | I guess I am weird then because sex does change how I feel about a woman.
You have to have respect for a woman bold enough to know what she wants in a sexual partner. In fact I find women who want sex on the first date are more no nonsense about such things, unless they are for instance drunk, stoned, etc. My best relationships have been with women like this. They may be shy wallflowers or polite around others, but then when they want me and dam what others think -- you really do have to admire someone like that on a certain level.
The problem when it is that early in the game is picking someone with intentions of long-term loyalty compared to the ride em once and throw them away kind of women. Same problem women have in reverse I suppose.
Well, the counselling is one thing, but I've found women to be much harsher and much more judgemental with regard to other women's sexuality than any man I've ever met. I suspect that the counselling the son hears will be tempered with how she talks about other women's sexuality within his hearing, not to mention by her actions
That has been my observation as well. Women who are more open about what they want are hated by those with anxiety over what they want, or that suffer secret desires for what they want. It still amazes me how many women want to be secretly treated badly and thrown away. Says a lot of negative about the culture we have that women are raised to be this way. Certainly does not make for many healthy relationships.
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| Does Sex Change How you feel ?
Posted: 10/28/2009 10:26:30 PM |  Yes I would be concerned if the man in my life wanted a sex change.
~Beth~ whose in a goofy mood | |
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| Does Sex Change How you feel ?
Posted: 10/28/2009 11:21:51 PM | I believe it does affect how I feel. If it's early on, I really don't like it cause it makes me feel cheap like I have no worth.
I know in my heart otherwise, I am a good person. | |
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| Does Sex Change How you feel ?
Posted: 10/28/2009 11:54:37 PM |
Measuring one's worth by societies standards is no way to live one's life,
It is soo middleclass……
I've never had a long term relationship with a woman who has had sex with me very early on... basic reasons are I don't think she would have changed her dating style for ME
And the converse of this is also true…..
She may have made you wait but done it on the first date with everyone else………
You will never know.
A lot of women view having sex with a man as "giving" him a gift,
With this mind set could it also not be viewed as him giving her a gift?
I GAVE myself to you
I have never given myself to a lover; I have taken him as my lover.
if I get to the point of giving myself to a man - I want a realtionship,
You expect payment before delivery; it does not usually work this way.
But a woman who has the "expectation" that I'll invest "emotionally" and commit to a "sexual relationship" before I know very well and good what I can expect "sexually", has very unrealistic "expectations".
In that context, the woman in question offends me by thinking I'm stupid enough to sign up for that deal.
And she'll get no respect for thinking that I'm stupid.
This is one reason that I believe sex has to happen very early on. I know if we have potential for long term or merely a fling. We are obvious [with our intentions] even if we do not think we are.
I'm short several years from 30, but I got a mind of an 800 years old.
Touche!! Well, maybe 80.
By "not ruled by sex" I mean women who like sex but don't choose their partner ONLY for sex. Real women choose their man based on sex BUT ALSO because of higher vitreous vitreous - like courage, wisdom, kindness, justice,
Absolutely. And these qualities or virtues are apparent very early on.
Does Sex Change How you feel ?
How I feel about him? If there was a desire for a love affair intimacy certainly cements that feeling if the lovemaking was fulfilling; for me it is nirvana. | |
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| Does Sex Change How you feel ?
Posted: 10/29/2009 1:25:47 AM |
My question is for men in their 30's and older, whether you had sex with the woman on date 1 or date 10, if you genuinely liked her does it matter ? Does that fact that she has sex with you early make you like her less ? Does she have any less of a shot at being someone you would take serioulsy and want to be a signifigant part of your life ?
1. if i did have sex with her on the first date, it depends on how the everything went. to have sex on the first date is very easy. to stick around that depends on many things.
2. no.
3. it's all relative.
If you're having these questions, odds are, they guy you slept with on your first date will never speak to you again.
There are no rules that yo u speak of. If any man will take you seriously, they'll feel it in their heart (if you found one that has one). | |
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| Does Sex Change How you feel ?
Posted: 10/29/2009 3:16:40 AM |
But sex never changed the way I felt really. I mean yes, when it was good I wanted to keep it "mine" and on tap...but sex was, and is just sex. Even now, when I have sex with someone I'm dating or just casually "seeing", it doesn't make me "like" them any more or less just because hey, we had sex. All it does is just add a new dimension to the situation. Something else we can share or not.
This is imo, where men and women differ in this regard because women, having had the endorphins and experiencing the great sex believe that it cannot possibly be that good unless there is some extraordinary emotional connection and consequently it does change the way many women will feel about the man because they then believe whether it exists or not, that they are in the middle of some major love affair.
I think what is sad is the number of men that will blow smoke up women's asses in the name of political correctness because they are too gutless to tell them the truth that MChurch so succinctly stated and which BDJ elaborated upon. This little double standard existed when I was in my teens, try to get the chick in bed and then think she is trash when she goes there, and it still exists now in my 40s.
Personally, I hope to stay out of bed as long as possible so that my brain isn't stupefied by my stunning performance no matter how much I begin to start caring for someone. | |
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| Does Sex Change How you feel ?
Posted: 10/29/2009 6:57:28 PM | RE: Msg 33:
Dave1234) The fact she had sex with me early results in my liking her more. Why? Because it means she likes me. No it doesn't...all it means is, she was horny...and you were the best looking dude at closing time.
I was referring to a date, not a pick-up. The woman has already decided to spend time with me by going on a date. If she is also interested in sex surely she doesn't like me less.
I don't feel there are many women who have sex with guys they don't like. You don't? Read a couple more threads. Why do you suppose the abortion rate is what it is? Why did we 'need' to invent the morning after pill? hint: cuz' women have sex with guys they don't like, let alone want to reproduce with.
Bearing children has nothing to do with the degree of liking someone. My Ex and I were married five years (for a total of 13 years) before we had children. That was our choice. We were young and wanted to explore life together before starting a family.
The chances of it evolving into a LTR or ending up being a fling depends on the same things as any other date/relationship. Hmm, possibly. I'd be curious to know what those 'same things' happen to be?
The main thing is sufficient chemistry. Just like the relationship I'm in now.
All people have to do is ask themselves, "Is the other person the most important thing in their life that they want?" If the answer is, "Yes", then a relationship will most likely develop and remain healthy. | |
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Savona
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Joined: 7/14/2009
Msg: 88 | |
| Does Sex Change How you feel ?
Posted: 11/2/2009 6:11:11 PM |
I've found women to be much harsher and much more judgemental with regard to other women's sexuality than any man I've ever met.
Sad but true. I can not disagree with you on this one Capitano.
At various times in my life, I've been the biggest slut around....
.... had a lot of fun, too....
Anyway I am glad you can admit your bit of sluttieness ... confession is so good for the soul.
Savona
... and, um, while you're on your knees....
** looking to the left n looking to the right ... bet that dreamcatcher is lurking around the corner to catch us again ** | |
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| Does Sex Change How you feel ?
Posted: 11/2/2009 7:34:40 PM | 1. She's easy and that isn't the kind of woman they would want to make their girlfriend or introduce to their family
2. Now that they got what they wanted, there is no point on dating her anymore
I remember hearing these from my parents and from the church leaders when they were trying to convince me and all the other young people to not have sex till we got married.
As for this one...
3. The attraction was only sexual and beyond that there isn't any substantial connection
I remember hearing this from women when they were trying to convince the girls to not have sex with the boys.
When I had sex with a girl on the first date I didn't think anything negitive of her. The fact that I didn't have a long term relationship with her was due to my own desire to not have a long term relationship at that time. | |
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| Does Sex Change How you feel ?
Posted: 11/2/2009 8:44:59 PM |
once again, this proves the double standard that its ok for men to think that women are not girlfriend material just because she slept with him early... but yet a woman doesn't question if a man is good boyfriend material if he sleeps with her early into a relationship....
Women can, if they want to, hold the men to an equal standard.... not the men's fault if they don't think to. This would go back to the concept that women are not as discerning as men, in whom they choose for partners... (of course if that was true, we'd have a lot of threads in POF from single moms..... who have finally realised that they were in relationships with losers and cheats....) | |
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