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| Fetishes - Friend or Foe ?
Posted: 10/27/2009 10:29:35 AM | | It wouldn't be fear I'd have to put aside, it would be boredom. A fetish is so one-sided that I can't imagine wanting to spend my life with someone who couldn't get off unless he was sniffing my shoes or carrying a pair of panties in his pocket, etc. and I'm not about to wear boots to bed, etc. It's not my thing, so I don't get involved with men who must go through rituals to get excited. I wouldn't feel guilt for not always doing things their way, but I wouldn't feel connected to them either. I cannot imagine a relationship with a person with a fetish going any where for me. | |
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| Fetishes - Friend or Foe ?
Posted: 10/27/2009 10:32:18 AM | | I think that if you are not comfortable with that, you should not do it. It should be pleasureable for both of you and if this would be a deal breaker, then adios..but if he can be happy without it, then you shouldn't feel guilty about it.. | |
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| Fetishes - Friend or Foe ?
Posted: 10/27/2009 11:09:18 AM | You only live once unless you are a cat ...so why not surprise yourself, you might even like it.
Me, nope, I make a lousy slave LOL | |
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| Fetishes - Friend or Foe ?
Posted: 10/27/2009 11:25:46 AM | I think spanking, handcuffs or being tied up, rough sex etc has all pretty much become mainstream, and their are some fetishes that are unhealthy or dangerous even to the majority of the fetish community.
and yes - In every relationship, whether they acknowledge it or not, there is a Dominant and submissive dynamic.
It seems everyone's mind automatically goes to the foot fetishist which seems to be the most familiar, but that is just scratching the surface. Some fetishes are not that one dimensional and cover a multitude of sexual practices.  | |
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| Fetishes - Friend or Foe ?
Posted: 10/27/2009 11:54:34 AM | Ahem.
fetish - 6 dictionary results
fet⋅ish /ˈfɛtɪʃ, ˈfitɪʃ/ Show Spelled Pronunciation [fet-ish, fee-tish] Show IPA
–noun 1. an object regarded with awe as being the embodiment or habitation of a potent spirit or as having magical potency.
2. any object, idea, etc., eliciting unquestioning reverence, respect, or devotion: to make a fetish of high grades.
3. Psychology. any object or nongenital part of the body that causes a habitual erotic response or fixation.
fet·ish also fet·ich (fět'ĭsh, fē'tĭsh)
n.
1. An object that is believed to have magical or spiritual powers, especially such an object associated with animistic or shamanistic religious practices.
2. An object of unreasonably excessive attention or reverence: made a fetish of punctuality.
3. Something, such as a material object or a nonsexual part of the body, that arouses sexual desire and may become necessary for sexual gratification.
4. An abnormally obsessive preoccupation or attachment; a fixation.
fetish
Having a proclivity for something in a sexual way- especially something not inherently sexual. Examples: latex, rubber, spanking, specific smell/odor, dangerous situations, etc. A fetish can often heighten sexual satisfaction or even become obsessive and needed to reach sexual satisfaction. A good fetish is like a good woman: once you find one, you will quickly tire of it/her.
The fetish of one person for people with amputations was as sick as anything I had ever heard.
Or...
An adult in a diaper and sucking on a pacifier is a real turn-on fetish for me.
get this def on a mug
Fetish
A new, broader spectrum, definition of a classically defined word.
A fetish in this case is one of two things;
Either, an enjoyment of any deviance from societies percieved normal, of any nature.
Or an over-enjoyment, over-indulgence in something which is widely accepted as a normal within defined limits.
Or an action which is performed above and beyond normally expected limits, in any circumstances.
Over-enjoyment "Dude, you like your new xbox 360 WAY too much, i didn't see it before, but you've got a fetish"
Action beyond normal limits "That was some FETISH goal man, screamer from way outside the box!!!"
Enjoyment of deviance "Marriage? at our age? You've got some kind of fetish for weddings!"
Over-indulgence "2 Tubs of Ben and Jerrys ice-cream straight!? You've got a fetish mate"
Foot = fetish... yes.
I don't consider anal to be a fetish, as it's an act, not an object, however.. it might qualify under the *preoccupation or attachment* end of things.
Domination and humiliation again fall into acts, not objects.
I think the majority of us have things we like and need in order to acheive sexual satisfaction.
I have several friends who are not of the vanilla persuasion. A few have confided in me the things that really get them going. Some are pretty simple. Some are not. A really good friend of mind told me his and my immediate response was.. ohgodnofreakinway. Then we talked more indepth about it. The more I learned about why he was into this particular thing, the more interested I became in giving him this thing. That's how it works for me. I need to know why it works for you, and what it does.
But then.. that just brings out the sadist in me. *wink* | |
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| Fetishes - Friend or Foe ?
Posted: 10/27/2009 12:02:45 PM | Sunsational1 wrote:
I think that if you are not comfortable with that, you should not do it. It should be pleasureable for both of you and if this would be a deal breaker, then adios..but if he can be happy without it, then you shouldn't feel guilty about it..
I would modify this thought to be more along the lines that a practice, whether it be a one off or infrequent, should not be painful, degrading, or intended to be so. Because there is a wide variation in sexual desires and delights, what one spouse finds arousing may not, always or rarely, arouse the other. But, so long as both are comfortable with their kink or not-kink then it should be on the table every once in a while.
An example might be oral sex. Not all, men and women, are comfortable with oral-genital contact, but their spouse might really enjoy it. By making a wholesale ban on a harmless practice the relationship can be harmed.
As for the fetish(ism). As some have correctly pointed out, if the object, body part, practice is needed (required) for arousal, then you have a fetish. I think that issue ought to be part of candid talks the couple should have early on in their relationship. Who knows, you might both have the same desire for liquid latex body suits. But, remember, leave air holes!
TK | |
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| Fetishes - Friend or Foe ?
Posted: 10/27/2009 1:25:35 PM |
fetishish strike me as sick... a syndrome of some type... once then I could never understand what men saw in strippers either, call me naive or conservative
Nah...no need for name calling!! Some of us just view stuff differently than others. Me???? Unless there is a chicken, a midget, a vat of green jello, a few voyuers, a couple whips, floggers and/or riding crop handled by a highly trained transvestite in latex, I think most things are just pretty status quo. It's all perception. | |
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| Fetishes - Friend or Foe ?
Posted: 10/27/2009 1:45:05 PM |
Unless there is a chicken, a midget, a vat of green jello, a few voyuers, a couple whips, floggers and/or riding crop handled by a highly trained transvestite in latex, I think most things are just pretty status quo. It's all perception.
Mmmmmmm you had me at "green Jello"  count me in.
Nom!......nom nom nom........ | |
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| Fetishes - Friend or Foe ?
Posted: 10/27/2009 2:02:33 PM | *****************************************************************************
Attention 1kindman4u -
I wanted to send you a message and this was I got :
[ 1kindMan4U is not accepting messages from someone of your age or gender. ]
Don't be scared of the all mighty uterus ! | |
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| Fetishes - Friend or Foe ?
Posted: 10/27/2009 2:15:47 PM | It isnt your uterus that my profile was limiting. I had somehow put 35 and older in an age preference box. I was trying to limit the young hotties from overwhelming me with offers. I've now eliminated that restriction..
COME ONE>> COME ALL TO MY PROFILE FORUM/HAREM
My words of wisdom, fetishes, proclivities, general loquaciousness, tall-challenged-except-when-horizontal self awaits
Remember, emails with pictures go to the front of the line.. wait.. isnt that a craig's line? | |
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| Fetishes - Friend of Foe ?
Posted: 10/27/2009 2:36:08 PM | It would depend on the fetish. There are alot of fetishes out there! As another poster pointed out though, it really depends on the level of fetishism also. If someone is so fixated on a fetish in order to get off, well......
The whole BDSM scene has changed in that many what would be considered vanilla couples are engaging in more BDSM oriented behaviour in the bedroom. So, one could say they have a fetish for feet for example, but it's not so fixated that they "need" it to finish.
That said, even when people are slightly into aspects of BDSM, I have met many men who still have no clue about any of those things.
The more I learned about why he was into this particular thing, the more interested I became in giving him this thing.
Exactly. I've done a tiny bit of research into the reasons behind certain fetishes and interestingly enough some of them are developed from childhood; some even from childhood fears. That said, we all have our limits; the checklist is a good place to start :) | |
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| Fetishes - Friend or Foe ?
Posted: 10/27/2009 3:52:55 PM | | Love fetish play.I think it is something that must be discussed between both the man and woman before any play begins.I'd give about anything a try once. | |
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| Fetishes - Friend or Foe ?
Posted: 10/27/2009 6:49:17 PM | I like how "no_1_bby (Msg 30) defined fetish by using 6 dictionary results. However I don't agree with her position that certain acts (anal, domination & humiliation, etc.) don't fall into the category of being fetishes, because they are... A fetish can be mild to the very extreme. Mild Fetish forms can include the implied dictionary terms as stated "...Something, such as a material object or a nonsexual part of the body, that arouses sexual desire and may become necessary for sexual gratification..." So these terms include those body parts that are not normally used for sex (anus, ears, feet, fingers, bellybuttons, a$$ cheeks, hair, etc) to the extreme in BDSM & other forms of roleplay. People with Fetishes can get fixated on a certain body parts/objects & must have access to those areas in order to get highly aroused.
Some Fetishes that I have just researched include: "...BDSM, Ballbusting, Facesitting, Being Trampled/Foot fetish, Golden Showers, Spanking, Sensationalising, Wearing Panty Hose/Rubber/CrossDressing, etc, Flashing, Gang-banging, Using Sex Toys, Vanilla/Chocolate, Exhibitionism, Midgets, Giantism, Amputeeism, Beastiality, Transvestites, Diapers, Asphyxiation, Fisting, Gay Kissing, Medical, Necrophelia, Food & Humiliation?...etc" I'm sure the list could go on forever... Looking at this list, I don't think I'll ever be that liberated to try anything, even once... Call me old fashioned... 
Charles1964 (Msg 37) "...Love fetish play.I think it is something that must be discussed between both the man and woman before any play begins.I'd give about anything a try once..."
Are you sure that you're open to trying some of the above fetishes at least once? Wow, you have more backbone & stomach than I'll ever have... Do you know what chocolate & vanilla fetishes are?
daynadaze (Msg 26) "...It wouldn't be fear I'd have to put aside, it would be boredom. A fetish is so one-sided..."
I've got to commend you and Charles & a few others who would even dare to venture where very few men/women have gone before... Hahaha Do you even have an inkling of knowing what these terms mean & to which these activities imply? Hmmm it is better to let sleeping dogs lie... Or do NOT awaken the dragon... Grasshopper!!!! (means one who is still in the learning stage...) Well whatever rocks your boat I guess... It would certainly sink mine... 
Leave the fetishes to those who are more into it... I prefer pologamy & monogamy. What does pologamy mean? It means having one wife too many? What does monogamy mean? It means having one wife too many... LOL Just kidding...
Cheers, 
**~Remington55~** 
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| Fetishes - Friend of Foe ?
Posted: 10/27/2009 6:54:24 PM |
Are you sure that you're open to trying some of the above fetishes at least once? Wow, you have more backbone & stomach than I'll ever have... Do you know what chocolate & vanilla fetishes are?
Like I said "That said, even when people are slightly into aspects of BDSM, I have met many men who still have no clue about any of those things."
There's a reason the checklist has "hard limit" on it. | |
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| Fetishes - Friend of Foe ?
Posted: 10/29/2009 1:25:10 AM | | I'm not into the whole bondage thing, but I think everyone has their own fetishes and what turns them on. It's fun to explore them. I'm just not personally into the hardcore stuff, but kinky, ya that's great. | |
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| Fetishes - Friend or Foe ?
Posted: 10/29/2009 5:31:07 AM | | before making a judgement about something,a standard of judging must be established.especially that kind of things that have a wide variation on conception of degree and scope.a thing maybe is a fetish for you but not for another.if it's beyond your scope just dont force yourself | |
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| Fetishes - Friend or Foe ?
Posted: 10/29/2009 1:56:59 PM |
Now ladies and gents, what would you do if you were dating someone who seemed normal, mild mannered, perhaps even a bit conservative and then found out they had a foot, anal, domination or humiliation fetish ? If the lady's fetish were something that made me feel uncomfortable, and if the absence of that fetish affected the relationship, then I would probably end the relationship.
If you liked the person enough would you put your fear, apprehension or judgement aside and try it ? ( They are not forcing you to do it, or threatening the relationship if you don't do it, they have just indicated that they are strongly turned on by this particular act ) Maybe, depending on how strange the fetish is and if I've never tried it; if I've tried it and I'm against it, no way I'm doing it.
If you told your partner that you weren't into the fetish and though it was dirty, or gross or embarrasing and they told you "Oh, it's ok, we can do other things" would you feel guilt because anything else you would do with them you would feel that they would never truly be satisfied because you won't do "that thing" ? Nope, no guilt; if I sensed that if the relationship suffered because she didn't experience her fetish, I'd probably end the relationship. | |
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