| Dating people you haven't met online
Posted: 11/5/2009 12:51:38 PM |
My friends and I have been going out regularly over the last 18 months and not one of us has been chatted up let alone asked for a date or our phone number. Maybe the men are all doing the same as you... waiting to be asked. | |
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| Dating people you haven't met online
Posted: 11/5/2009 2:41:25 PM | I go out a lot with friends but usually to eat not to pubs/clubs so I guess the chances of being "chatted up" are slim.. I find if I'm in a pub - standing at the bar then it's easy to get chatting and have a banter with guys - but if sitting down in a group of friends it's less likely that a guy is going to break into our group to start chatting.......mind you being an old fat minger probably doesn't help ...........thought I'd better get that in before some smart arse said it  | |
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| Dating people you haven't met online
Posted: 11/6/2009 4:54:37 AM |
By the way does giving you a second look the first time you meet..
Smiling the second time..
And saying hello the third time with a smile, constitute being interested ??
I would say, yes... it does... worth having a conversation anyway! If at any time in the conversation you're not comfortable, you go to the loo, off for a drink or 'have to re-join my friend that I came with' so you have a get of jail free card.  | |
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| Dating people you haven't met online
Posted: 11/6/2009 7:42:15 AM | See, back when I was in my late teens, I had no problem striking a conversation. But I find after being married and the wife and best friend cheating, it had a massive knock on the ole confidence. So now the possibilty of rejection becomes a factor. There's a girl who works in the local supermarket and she's gorgeous. We talk everytime I'm in there and I want to ask her out... but I find the right 'moment' evading me... plus, if she said no, it'd be in front of other strangers and that would be a serious walk of shame back to the car :D
Though on the flipside, meeting folk in the real world is much easier because you've more than a single soulless email and a few stock images to go on. I find for someone like me, lacking in the 'tall, dark and handsome' department, that the real world offers up much more opportunity, but takes a lot more confidence and charisma than hiding behind the laptop. Maybe the lovely women on here should take the plunge and rather than waiting to be swept off their feet, actually approach guys and strike a conversation themselves? | |
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| Dating people you haven't met online
Posted: 11/6/2009 8:08:11 AM | Optikal,
don't make the assumption that just because you're not inundated with mail it means women on here don't mail... I do! | |
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| Dating people you haven't met online
Posted: 11/6/2009 8:12:07 AM | | It wasn't an opinion based on my personal lack of emails hun (I put that down to the fact I'm short, overweight and nerdy ) But rather it's based on the tales of the handful of females I've met on here who all say they sit back and wait for a guy to contact them. | |
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| Dating people you haven't met online
Posted: 11/6/2009 8:16:30 AM | Just like many blokes do to, 'Hun', if you read their posts they talk about just being here for the forums and not mailing but still say they want more mail!
Many/handful is not everyone though or even necessarily a majority... as soon as you start lumping everyone all together like that, it makes for a very pessimistic and unenjoyable view of things.
In my opinion it's better to judge people by their own merit where you can, and give benefit of the doubt where you can't.... glass half full stuff! | |
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| Dating people you haven't met online
Posted: 11/6/2009 8:22:43 AM | Oh yeah, for sure! I generally do have a positive outlook on life and certainly didn't mean to come across as pessimistic. I didn't mean to make a sweeping generalization either, just merely to offer a friendly suggestion that if the outlook on getting potential dates is spartan, to simply try a more pro-active approach.
And apologies for the use of 'hun', I get the feeling that didn't go down well. | |
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| Dating people you haven't met online
Posted: 11/6/2009 9:40:23 AM |
but I find the right 'moment' evading me... plus, if she said no, it'd be in front of other strangers and that would be a serious walk of shame back to the car :D
If you've got the witty comeback to her "no" then you still may get the date! | |
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| Dating people you haven't met online
Posted: 11/6/2009 10:21:49 AM | Lol. That sounds like a movie!
Dogged persistence (not at stalker level!) is very flattering and can work, sometimes a no is only because she needs to know a bit more before she says yes anyway.
You have to look for the smiles and the eyes that say she's glad you asked, if you get those then don't feel put down.... lol. Maybe if I was more complicated like that I wouldn't be single! :D | |
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| Dating people you haven't met online
Posted: 11/6/2009 10:50:35 AM | I've found internet dating very productive and enjoyable, but I also go ceroc dancing, which is a brilliant way to meet new people. In every class, men and women line up together dance a bit and then move along to the next person... you absolutely don't need a partner and in addition you get to hold the other's hand and let me tell you, there's much that can be gleaned from a simple hand hold. I've heard it said (often) that how someone dances betrays what they're like in bed. Certainly I find men with flabby, too hot or too cold hands a complete turn off. And of course there's the bit inbetween dances when the bar is open and you can start to chatting to anyone around. Very easy indeed to talk to a man, and vice versa. I suppose its a bit like speed dating, but there is this other element, the music and the dance.
You can have two left feet and no experience but you do need to like the idea of dancing and not mind making a fool of yourself. | |
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