| how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 11/1/2009 12:35:44 PM | | Johnny, I would suggest that it has more to do with your military career. That can be a very tough life for a couple. Few people posess the stomach to deal with that kind of relationship. This is particularily true for young people in your age group. | |
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| how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 11/1/2009 12:35:53 PM | how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time... cheeky answer: because men initiate it 20% of the time?
But mostly it's because when it comes to break-ups 80% of guys would rather pull their own teeth out while watching sex in the city re-run marathons than be the ones to break up with a girl. They figure it's easier to treat her like crap until she caves and does it herself. It works great.
p.s. LOL@ percentages...... it's not 79% or 63% ... not even 69% or 90% .... who woulda thunk!! Who comes up with these numbers anyway... | |
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| how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 11/1/2009 2:16:53 PM |
2 things..
1. If a woman thinks their man might be thinking about breaking up with them they will do it first, woman cannot handle rejection Ive had 2 gfs in the past who i brokeup with and when i took them back they broke up with me for revenge...
2. The grass is always greener on the other side for women, most men if we like a woman than thats all we need but women are far more complicated, you can do the right thing 95% of the time and the 1 time you mess up they cant live past it..
If you'd made that gender-neutral, I'd have agreed with you. But blaming women for these foibles? Not so much--MEN DO EXACTLY THE SAME THINGS. Especially the "if you're not perfect, you're outta here" part.
You come up with a couple of examples of woman freaks and think this applies logic to the rest of the 3.2 billion of womankind. No wonder you guys can convince yourselves of just about any ridiculous thing to justify your absurd position. And you have the nerve to call US irrational.
Honor. Also, coming up with a few crazies isn't even proving the orginal statement, which was "On the other hand you see testimony after testimonial (bemoanial?) that states they want men who are "bad" and treat them like dirt." Even these CRAZY women aren't saying they want to find a guy who treats them like dirt. THAT STATEMENT WAS FALSE.
What he comes up with are a few examples of women that proves there is a percentage of the 3.2 billion women that seek dysfunction in a way that is statistically higher than what men would.
Huh? Check your numbers again, give us the "male crazies" stats, then get back to us. Maybe you're right, but I'm not convinced, just based on YOUR say-so. Depending how you define "seek dysfunction" and I probably coudl come up with a significant number of threads by guys just right on here on Pof who "seek dysfunction".
The larger picture (that those studies indicates) is that there is probably a much, much larger percentage of women who would actually be interested in, and be drawn to men who are far from ideal, who have not done anything that even approaches the level of pathology of serial killers.
Probably, huh? I'll even agree that maybe that's true that women would be atracted to men who are "far from ideal"--but is that the same thing as "guys who treat women like dirt" (NO)? But the original statement was a "fact" that all women are like that, so now, using these stats, it turns out to be a very small percentage of all women, not even close to "most", even. And I think you'd have to account for the frequency in the population of male serial killers (or less than ideal guys) versus the number if female serial killers (or less than ideal women). Maybe I'll go ahead and posit that there are FAR more "far from ideal" males than there are "far from ideal females", so there aren't enough "ideal" fellas to go around. So these poor women *have* to go for "far from ideal guys" (or live life alone). And then women are blamed for going after "far from ideal guys" and then we're ALL told that ALL women are irrational because some small percentage of women choose "far from ideal guys".
Men's "logic" NEEDS those bunny ears. | |
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| how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 11/1/2009 11:34:31 PM | gents.....you're not getttttting it...we must have a TALK, ok, maybe tomorrow, maybe never, i don't know...should I? ladies, i am not hopeful about our future together.. everybody must do better
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| how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 11/2/2009 12:55:27 AM | Show me *one* "testimony" that says this, much less many. I have never heard of a woman saying "I am looking for my Prince Goofus, the man who will treat me like the dirt I am". That's an outlandish statement that exposes your own warped view of women and relationships.
testimony? 1.5 million abortions a year
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| how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 11/2/2009 8:17:44 AM | CassaGo and forumologist
I have NEVER said there are not good women out there. Not once. In fact I know many of them. The problem is that they are not in the majority, despite what you say.
Men are merely pointing out what they see on a daily basis. Your perspective is sheltered because you are a female and do not have to see what a man does. I used to see women everyday by the dozens who suffered a compulsion to match up with violent and aggressive males that abuse them. I gave up counseling because I got sick of seeing the same stupid behavior over and over and over and over again. You try to help victims of domestic abuse -- when in reality most of these women (albeit examples of the extremes) go back to these men over and over again. Too many end up beaten, abused, broken, and bitter -- all because they cannot see the nature of their mistakes. The same happens more commonly in lesser dating choices and relationships where women apply dysfunctional logic to the men they choose. These are FACTS that you can find at any shelter or social services office.
You can throw accusations at me and some of the other men who post on here, but we are not whining. We are trying to point out what we see, and that there is a problem with the larger percentage of the female population and how they view the world. You want facts? Well go out and live in the real world. Go find it yourself. Anyone who takes off their blinders can see it. You must lead a very sheltered existence to be so blind.
I have absolutely no problem with equality or any aspects of it. What I have a problem with is that female culture has some very negative and blinding views on the abuses heaped on men who are trying to help them. I do see women who wise up to the abuse after suffering enough of it, but then their own culture and media continues spewing foolishness under the guise of "romance" that perpetuates this garbage for the next generation coming up. Then the cycle starts all over again.
Women should be standing up and creating an identity for their younger siblings and daughters that rejects the common view in favor of one that deals with realities and the ethics that come of simple decency towards others.
Come on. You cannot continue to bad mouth men for womens foolish choices. The root of the problem is female culture in western countries itself. Stop trying to shoot the messenger just because you resent the truth.
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| how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 11/2/2009 9:35:14 AM | Maybe I'll go ahead and posit that there are FAR more "far from ideal" males than there are "far from ideal females", so there aren't enough "ideal" fellas to go around. So these poor women *have* to go for "far from ideal guys" (or live life alone). And then women are blamed for going after "far from ideal guys" and then we're ALL told that ALL women are irrational because some small percentage of women choose "far from ideal guys".
If your logic was true then there would not be so many so called "nice guys" that are single, and apparently abhored by women in the larger dating pool who call such men a bunch of whinners and wussies. But then again -- what constitutes "far from ideal guys" in the general view is something that men like me are saying you are ignoring.
The definition of those so called ideals that you are passing on to your younger sisters or kids will be what makes or breaks our nations future. Personally I think a lot of our generation have their beliefs and man bashing practices so engrained now that they will be impossible to re-educate. That is a sad thing. It really is up to all of us to change that, but women will listen to other women long before they will listen to any logic a man has to say. This thread is some reflection of that reality.
If what you said in your little quote above was true then you should reverse the male and female titles in your above logic then you can understandably see why there are men making stupid choices for the same reasons. But I think what is more true is that a lot of decent men are simply giving up on the dating game and staying single, rather then make their own bad choices that cost them their income, house, independence etc.
There is a wall of pain and fear being built between genders that is I believe is unlike any we have seen before in history, and this is not going to end well for our society if it continues. For those single people out there who feel ostricised because they are "nice" or "not pretty" or similar political social reasons -- they are finding it hard to be productive members of a community that they see doesn't seem to want them. We are suppose to be the civilized first world, but you would not know it to look at our beliefs and practices.
That in lies the deeper problem imho.
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| how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 11/2/2009 11:30:50 AM |
I have NEVER said there are not good women out there. Not once. In fact I know many of them. The problem is that they are not in the majority, despite what you say.
I never said you thought there were no good women; nor did I say that good women are in the majority. Stop changing the subject every time you answer.
Your perspective is sheltered because you are a female and do not have to see what a man does. I used to see women everyday by the dozens who suffered a compulsion to match up with violent and aggressive males that abuse them. I gave up counseling because I got sick of seeing the same stupid behavior over and over and over and over again.
I see, MY answers are skewed because I'm FEMALE, but YOUR answers are spot-on-- despite the FACT that you DEAL with mostly ABUSED women?! ARGH--you have a weird sense of logic. Your average guy doesn't come into contact with dozens of abused women every day, either. So how come you don't say THEIR views are "sheltered"?
What I have a problem with is that female culture has some very negative and blinding views on the abuses heaped on men who are trying to help them.
Do you see my pointing out inconsistencies in your arguments as part of the greater "female culture" which inflicts "abuses" upon you? You do know that I am ONE woman, not all women, right?
You cannot continue to bad mouth men for womens foolish choices.
I'm not--I'm telling you your views are wrong, and you are seeing and mentioning ONLY the crazies out there and extrapolating that ALL women are like this. I dare say there are HUNDREDS OF DOZENS of women out there who are not abused by their SOs, but you IGNORE all of those just to make your point. Your point seems to be that women love abuse ("to be treated like dirt"). AND THAT IS NOT TRUE.
If your logic was true then there would not be so many so called "nice guys" that are single, and apparently abhored by women in the larger dating pool who call such men a bunch of whinners and wussies.
Oh, now I get it! NICE GUY RANT! Even men don't agree with your "nice guy" theory. How's that gonna feel when your worldview tpped on its ear?! That makes everything else fall into place. Good luck with that. The only upside to this is that I get a shot of tequila. | |
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| how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 11/2/2009 2:35:43 PM | Oh, now I get it! NICE GUY RANT! Even men don't agree with your "nice guy" theory. How's that gonna feel when your worldview tpped on its ear?! That makes everything else fall into place. Good luck with that. The only upside to this is that I get a shot of tequila.
Your words. Not mine.
1) You take what I say and twist it
2) you put words and interpretations into things that I have not implied.
3) you make far too many assumptions when myself and others try to provide examples or facts that you simply are not interested in accepting because they are our personal experiences.
Good for you that your little piece of the world does not fit the mold we speak of. But attacking people like me that are trying to explain something -- not really a helpful thing to do.
If you think I am here just to perpetuate some "nice guy" conspiracy then you are sorely deluded.
Cheers.
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| how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 11/2/2009 2:47:23 PM | (CassaGo) Your average guy doesn't come into contact with dozens of abused women every day, either. So how come you don't say THEIR views are "sheltered"?
Well, you're right, in a sense.
However, women aren't either/or: EITHER they're abused, OR they're pristine, with that new-car smell, and no problems under the hood. Some people can be weird, and unpleasant to deal with, WITHOUT having to go to a woman's shelter.
Bimbly
(you have to admit, a woman who writes to the Night Strangler isn't exactly normal). | |
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| how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 11/2/2009 2:59:25 PM |
(you have to admit, a woman who writes to the Night Strangler isn't exactly normal).
...and that's why women initiate the breakup 80% of the time!!! Eureka!!
(gotta love how far off topic things get in an effort to prove points) | |
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| how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 11/2/2009 4:09:04 PM | In my 10 year studyof relationships it showed that its more like 70% to 30% with guys breaking up more.
If you included "mental breakups" then guys would swamp the catagory to like 90%. Guys won't officially breakup most times because they still use a girl for sex, money, or emotional crutches or due to pure fear of the breakup process. Girls tend to breakup because the man is already gone but he hasn't said so "officially". | |
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| how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 11/9/2009 11:42:46 PM |
If you included "mental breakups" then guys would swamp the catagory to like 90%. Guys won't officially breakup most times because they still use a girl for sex, money, or emotional crutches or due to pure fear of the breakup process. Girls tend to breakup because the man is already gone but he hasn't said so "officially".
I think a lot of us have been trying to say this. Thank you.
wannashakeyourtree, there are many women that know about women that abuse men and I'm sorry that we are too quiet about it. | |
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| how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 11/10/2009 4:07:51 AM | | Do women? I'm not sure about that. I think men go through mid life crisis & male menopause and have a thing about getting old, and have a big ego and when a younger woman looks at them.... wow.... they pop! Its not all women.... | |
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| how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 11/10/2009 10:48:40 AM | Do women? I'm not sure about that. I think men go through mid life crisis & male menopause and have a thing about getting old, and have a big ego and when a younger woman looks at them.... wow.... they pop! Its not all women....
Within the context of marriage and divorce, the statistics DO state that women DO initiate a divorce over 60% of the time and rarely cite abuse as a reason.
It stands to reason, though it is a bit of a leap, that the same can be said of non marital relationships as well.
So instead of arguing the facts which are clear in this case, how about some of you women come clean and just tell us why? Is it that you really don't know??? Are you afraid of incriminating yourselves in some way...painting yourselves in some negative light???
Address the facts or move on to another thread already...the rheteoric for rheteorics sake is a clear defense mechanism. | |
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| how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 11/10/2009 11:00:39 AM | Some friends and I was talking while at the last music festival..
There was 8 guys and out of us all we discovered that each of our marriages was destroyed by our wives cheating on us..
We talked about how the women claim the men cheat most often but the women are really the ones who cheat the most.
I believe this is the real reson why women initiate the breakup more often than men..
Women cheat and lie about cheating... | |
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| how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 11/10/2009 11:17:29 AM | So instead of arguing the facts which are clear in this case, how about some of you women come clean and just tell us why?
The "facts" as you call them are not "facts", that's why people--not just women--argued them, that 80% thing is a made-up "fact", not a statistic. If you start a premise based on a faulty base, how can it be argued without pointing out that the basis is wrong?!
I think all you need do is read through, what, 7 pages of previous "testimony" as to why each woman does what she does? Basically, it comes down to "fed up with his behavior and thinks it will be easier living without him". This isn't rocket science. | |
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| how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 11/10/2009 11:24:46 AM | Actually, they are facts, and i didn't say 80% I said 60+ % of women intiate the divorce. Like I said to the naysayers like you...instead of arguing the facts (google them...I'm not doing it for you just so you can selectively edit what I and others say and twist words)...the facts exist. There are multiple studies...go educate yourself and try to offer something constructive for a change. Your response is the very definition of rhetoric...but being the smart girl I know you to be I'm sure you're well aware of these statistics and just don't like the light in which they paint these women.
I'm not here to villify those women, I like many other men here just want some answers...instead of attacks and the other nonsense you and others offer ad nauseam.
Seriously...quit bogging down these conversations with this b.s.!!! | |
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| how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 11/10/2009 11:28:50 AM | A store that sells new husbands has just opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates: "You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increases as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!"
So, a woman goes to the store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign reads: "These men Have Jobs". The second floor sign reads: "These men Have Jobs and Love Kids". The third floor sign reads: "These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking."
"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.
At the fourth floor the sign reads: "These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework."
"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!"
Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads: "These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak." She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the sign reads: "You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store."
To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opens a New Wives store just across the street. It too has six floors. The first floor has wives that love sex. The second floor has wives that love sex and have money.
The third through sixth floors have never been visited. | |
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