| Tell me the brunt truth, even if it painful! I'm curious
Posted: 11/4/2009 8:33:33 PM | Here's one of my openers, I don't think there's anything really wrong with it.
Greetings
I totally love the smile, are you new to the site? What do you think of it so far, I bet your overwhelmed, by the volume of members. I really don't know what to say to you, besides you seems very positive, and delightful person. I bet you lighten up the room, when you enter! Is there any specific type of movies you enjoy, what about Horror? That's the type I enjoy very much, also comedy is good at times. How is a typical friday night, in your life spent? Do you enjoy yoga? I try, but more the deep breathing aspect of it. In this busy world, where everyone races through everything. Next thing you know, your business project at your apartment, your cell phone in your friends car, and your half way to work, LOL
Anyways I'd love a conversation sometime, perhaps take a drink or coffee.
Let me know
Tanaieta | |
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| Tell me the brunt truth, even if it painful! I'm curious
Posted: 11/4/2009 8:54:05 PM | Hi Gav….She’s not here to play 20 questions, and you didn’t give her the Miranda warning yet. If she’s an attorney (or has a friend who’s an attorney), she won’t bother answering. If she’s not an attorney, she won’t answer either (not with what you’ve got written in the 1st date).
No lady wants to know about your last date….she wants to know about how you’re going to woo her….not how you wooed the last lady.
If you’re going to ask a question in your intro email….LIMIT it to ONE, UNO, 1.
Also, for future reference....It shouldn’t be something like…Wanna Talk?
It should NOT be something like…What are 3 reasons I should date you?
It should Not be something like….What’s your favorite color?
What should it be? Something that relates to HER profile…a natural question, NOT an artificial one or a bunch of artificial ones.
Your intro email above could be written to ANY woman. That’s the FIRST RED FLAG that she sees. Your profile is another RED FLAG, ditto your 1st DATE.
As seen by your banter here….you can write. Suggestion…Lots of folks gave you good advice so use the good advice you were given and put it to work...or not. DenverSky5280  | |
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| Tell me the brunt truth, even if it painful! I'm curious
Posted: 11/4/2009 9:22:42 PM | Goodness! I hadn't realized that I had missed all of this fun.
Truthfully, I'm a little surprised that this thread has continued. Gavreel struck me as a quitter.
Although, Majic does love a good fight. Good for you for sticking to it!
How's it going, Gavreel? You seem to (almost) be holding your own. Too bad you're not taking anything constructive away from this.
BTW--You do know that any woman interested in you can check out any forum action you've got going on, right? | |
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| Tell me the brunt truth, even if it painful! I'm curious
Posted: 11/4/2009 9:26:54 PM | This would have been better:
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Subject line: A Yoga beginner
Message:
You seem to be a very positive and delightful person.
I see you enjoy Yoga. I try, but more the deep breathing aspect of it, in this busy world, where everyone races through everything. Have you been doing this a while?
Tanaieta
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Make the subject line tell what you're going to talk about so she'll remember you when she looks back at the message. This mentions ONE thing from her profile (Yoga), expands with a comment, and asks a question that gives a natural way for her to respond if she chooses. No pressure. I'm assuming that Tanaieta is your actual first name. If you want to, you can use my profile as a test sample and send me a practice message.
The shorter version doesn't contain an essay test or go on and on about you. It also doesn't say you think she's attractive/cute/pretty because it's implied that's why you chose to write to her. Otherwise, if you emphasize appearance, it sounds stalkerish.
Hope this makes sense. | |
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| Tell me the brunt truth, even if it painful! I'm curious
Posted: 11/4/2009 9:33:26 PM | Your first date seems scary to me, I would think most girls would be afraid of a first date with you. You have to remember to make girls feel at ease on a first date. A first date usually means you are meeting that person for the first time when it comes to online dating, and a girl staying in a secluded park with you until the sun comes up screams dangerous to me.
Go for something a little more practical. | |
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| Tell me the brunt truth, even if it painful! I'm curious
Posted: 11/4/2009 9:51:38 PM | Well first off, I don't see anything wrong with asking a few questions. If your that negative to assume, it's not genuine, that's there problem not mine. I don't want someone with trust problems, that's for sure.
As for something sounding stalkerish, that word has been over used, and stuffed down everyone throat so far. People will soon, stop asking each other out, and the world will die off, cause no one making any kids. Please we hear the stalker stuff, enough on the news. | |
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| Tell me the brunt truth, even if it painful! I'm curious
Posted: 11/4/2009 9:55:37 PM | You do know that any woman interested in you can check out any forum action you've got going on, right?
Why would you state that, like seriously. If a woman's gonna judge me based on whats written in this forums, she's really not worth my time and for sure lacks common sense. I'm a great guy, and anyone that doesn't see, it's not my problem | |
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| Tell me the brunt truth, even if it painful! I'm curious
Posted: 11/4/2009 9:56:40 PM | I didn't say anything about stalkerish (but now that you mention it...) all I am saying is go for something a little more practical as a first date. No one wants to plan a first date as staying out until the sun comes up, what if you two don't click? It's just impractical.
Reading through the posts and stuff I am beginning to believe you just wanted some people to argue with, if you really want opinions, take this stuff to heart, if you want someone to argue with than let us know, I am sure people can give you a run for your money. | |
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| Tell me the brunt truth, even if it painful! I'm curious
Posted: 11/4/2009 10:03:57 PM |
Well first off, I don't see anything wrong with asking a few questions. If your that negative to assume, it's not genuine, that's there problem not mine. I don't want someone with trust problems, that's for sure.
As for something sounding stalkerish, that word has been over used, and stuffed down everyone throat so far. People will soon, stop asking each other out, and the world will die off, cause no one making any kids. Please we hear the stalker stuff, enough on the news.
I'm assuming this was for me.
The questions and being genuine are not an issue, it's the fact that you asked several. When replying, your viewer will feel like she's obligated to write a novel back. She won't. A short note with one question will get better results. Then, you'll have more opportunities to ask questions back and forth like a natural conversation. By dumping all the questions up front, it will put off the viewer and you'll lose the opportunity. By using this format, I had better than an 80% response rate when I was looking. How's your format working for you now?
"Stalkerish" was actually used by several other women in other forums where they discussed how guys approached them using introductions. When specific comments were made about their appearance, the women felt uncomfortable and creeped out. When specific comments were made about personality traits (ie: good attitude), it was better received by the viewer. The compliment is implied. Myself, when someone writes to me in a first message and says "You're cute/pretty/sexy/whatever", my first thought is he's looking to get laid and focusing on the physical. Even if you go on to talk about other things, it sets a tone. Again, not just my opinion, but many other women on the site. Use this information to inform or not, your choice. | |
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| Tell me the brunt truth, even if it painful! I'm curious
Posted: 11/4/2009 10:05:24 PM | I've had women write me messages similar to this style in the past.
Subject line: A Yoga beginner
Message:
You seem to be a very positive and delightful person.
I see you enjoy Yoga. I try, but more the deep breathing aspect of it, in this busy world, where everyone races through everything. Have you been doing this a while?
Tanaieta
I found it boring, and replied with a simple "Yes I have" | |
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| Tell me the brunt truth, even if it painful! I'm curious
Posted: 11/4/2009 10:15:19 PM | | Stalkerish I hate that word, it's been so abused it's not even funny anymore. People using that word, has made the most genuine, sincere, kind, gesture or act into something completely opposite of what it was intented. To the point, a person can't even say hello at times, or perform basic human communication. Without fear of someone taking it the wrong way. | |
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| Tell me the brunt truth, even if it painful! I'm curious
Posted: 11/4/2009 10:16:37 PM |
I found it boring, and replied with a simple "Yes I have"
You're part of the problem; not the solution.
You've been given copious amounts of good advice and have stuck your nose up and been defensive about all of it.
If you can't help yourself, others will stop helping you.
Man up and realize that the problem common to all of your issues is YOU. | |
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| Tell me the brunt truth, even if it painful! I'm curious
Posted: 11/4/2009 10:23:13 PM | Gavreel, I'm not questioning your sincerity and I do truly believe you put some thought into your sample email.
However. From a woman's perspective, it *does* seem insincere . . . especially if you plan on sending that to more than one person. Will every woman you send that to truly have a smile that you will love? How do you know that every woman you send this to really is a very positive and delightful person. What if they're profile is either vague or non-existent? Will you still say how positive and delightful they are? If you do, then no matter how sincere you may have been when composing the sample email, it is going to appear as insincere as insincere can get.
And one question is plenty for a first-contact email. Otherwise, it will feel like completing a survey or some type of dating application. Perhaps she's *really* into yoga and you've opened up a floodgate for her to chat about. Maybe she's a yoga teacher and your asking her about some aspect of yoga brings a smile to her face. But all the other questions are going to negate any feel-goods she had about the yoga question.
Also, bombarding someone with multiple questions (especially for a first-contact) appears to say, "Let's hurry up and get all this email stuff out of the way."
_
Alluding to a date during the first-contact email?! That seems to be a bit desperate.
Also, "perhaps take a drink or coffee" -? Take? I read this as saying, "Hey Lady, let's meet for drinks, and you're buying."
Incidentally, it is *your* profile and you are certainly free to accept anyone's suggestions or not. However, I am *not* of the mindset that I like to pick argument with strangers; nor am I of the mindset that I will sustain an argument just so someone can get their argument jollies. Discussing and asking sincere questions, sure. Arguing "just because", nope.
If you are asking sincere questions, I'll spend as much time as I can here in this thread. If you are doing it just to yank people's chains, then mine will be one less chain you'll be yanking.
~JLS | |
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| Tell me the brunt truth, even if it painful! I'm curious
Posted: 11/4/2009 10:28:00 PM |
This has been a good source of entertainment tonight though, I just finished work. I still love you guys, I've been smiling all night, and laughing. Are you serious?! Do you know how much time and effort people have put into their replies to you this evening?
Over on another board that I belong to, this type of behavior is called trolling; and is not looked upon favorably at all.
For me, since this has been nothing but a good source of entertainment for you, I will disregard any future posts and/or threads that you make, and you can get your entertainment elsewhere. | |
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| Tell me the brunt truth, even if it painful! I'm curious
Posted: 11/4/2009 10:47:01 PM | Joy is right on. Is there anyway to get this thread closed so others don't waste their time trying to help someone who (by his own admission) is doing this for entertainment? As far as I can tell, he's shot down every suggestion that was given to him (even those to were worded nicely to him). I'm not tech-savvy, so I don't know how to get this thread closed. Can anyone else do it?
Or am I wrong--is he sincerly looking for profile help? | |
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