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| What is sexy about FAT???
Posted: 10/30/2009 9:54:02 AM |
...im a BIG guy 6'6 320lbs and females fnd me attractive It's cause we start to think of mountain climbing...  | |
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| What is sexy about FAT???
Posted: 10/30/2009 9:59:14 AM | Mary -- I've never found "fat" to be all that sexually appealing to me, especially when it comes right down to excess rolls and layers of layers of it...those that don't even have a neck anymore, they're just chin and shoulders...
But the idea of them being larger than Barbie - well that's a different story.
Since I was a late teen I have been attracted to those that I at one time, considered disgusting. If they weren't the stereotypical Barbie type, I'd make vomiting sounds and heckle. Dunno what happened really...but all of a sudden I found myself incredibly attracted to them. The ones that had a little "extra". Since I was around 19 or 20, I think my lightest/slimmest girlfriend was around 145lbs. I've had thinner lovers, but these are just lovers and that soon fades. Actual girlfriends are usually pretty much stock for me - and they are all what some would consider fat or at least overweight.
But I think it's how they carry it in proportion to the body, and how much fat is really fat. If that makes sense? Those curves drive me insane and I find myself near drooling when I see the right shape walk by.
Sadly though, they have little to no real self esteem and think that they have to be a size zero, so they usually end up starving themselves thinkin' it'll keep me interested when in fact, it does the opposite. Then I just look at them and shake my head, and walk away. They ruined what I saw as beautiful...all so they could "fit in" so to speak. And it's not like I can ask them to stop it and start eating gallons of ice cream to put it back on.
sigh
I know a few genuine chubby chasers though. I mean the ones that gauge their interest in pounds. The more pounds the better.
I'm more middle of the road myself. Curvy yes. A little overweight sure. But true out and out fat...nope. Can't do it. | |
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| What is sexy about FAT???
Posted: 10/30/2009 10:07:30 AM |
What is sexy about FAT???
IMO it's related to the whole optimism vs. pessimism self image thing.
Where people strive for, or consciously/subconsciously know, they can get someone "more" attractive (according to generally accepted social standards), and others fear they can only get someone "less" attractive (according to generally accepted social standards).
Everyone strives to be a "good" person so rationalizes their fear, insecurity, and/or fetish into something mentally healthy, allows them to function, and is stable for them.
So on the surface they adopt things and reasons why they are more attracted to someone that is "fat" in order to rationalize and justify continuing the fear, insecurity, and self loathing deep down that is driving them to pursue that which is against general social norms of attraction.
Or they just had fat mothers (or miss the time in their life when they were smaller than anyone, so were cared for) and are looking for their mommy.
I've been turned on by women that were fat, but never turned on because a woman was fat.
Maybe my opinion has no value here. | |
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| What is sexy about FAT???
Posted: 10/30/2009 1:27:34 PM | Thanks for all the posts---I appreciate all the candor and honesty in the answers. Like I've said before, I like me, despite my portly size, but for the life of me I've never gotten why some guys, including the man I date, is not put off by my body shape.
There was a time I wouldn't even get naked, much less have sex with the lights on, but now----I prefer to be able to see the person I'm with----his reactions and listen to him moan----it's good for the ego no doubt. I think BigDaddyJinx is the only person whose come close to giving me his version of the sexiness of those who might be viewed as 'fat'.
I'm not asking why or how folks get FAT---but rather---why/how is that some men actually view FAT on women ( or women who see fat on men) to be sexy. I mean I find beer bellies sexy---the men seem really cuddly to me, which may be why I don't view it as fat---but fluffy. My estranged spouse is a big man and no matter how big he got I didn't equate my love for him based on his size but on the person he was. It wasn't his fat, necessarily I found sexy---it was just him and how me made me feel. | |
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| What is sexy about FAT???
Posted: 10/30/2009 1:47:22 PM |
his thread is by NO means disrespecting those over weight or the people who find fat sexy, but as a big woman I have always wondered why some men find rolls of fat sexy----I mean I've had some men even ask me to describe my 'folds of fat' 'fat apron' ' sagging breasts' 'how fat and round is ya rump' etc.
I certainly understand people have preferences, but in a nation where the expectation is for healthy bodies especially when one wants to engage in sexual intercourse, how is it that some guys really are TURNED on by FAT. I have no shame about my shape----and I can have sex with the lights ON or OFF, but given all I know I just don't get how some guys really NEED a large woman in order to be sexually aroused.
All right. I'll give you a straight answer. It will tick a lot of people off, and you might not like it. However, this is the sex forum, and such an answer is appropriate.
There is one thing I like to do with women, and it's part of sex. I like to insert my penis into their vaginas (or, sometimes, another orifice), and wiggle it around until sperm come out the end. That, to me, is fun. I also like cuddling. I find that fun as well.
Here is what I have discovered emprically: Bones hurt. That is, protruding bones hurt me. I've also discovered that too deep penetration hurts women. If I'm going to cause a woman pain, then it's going to be because I'm spanking her or pouring hot wax on her or any of a variety of extracurricular activities, and not from plain coitus. I do not enjoy receiving or inflicting pain from coitus.
So, if I am thinking of doing that penile-insertionism thing with a woman, then it is important to me that 1) she have a fairly broad pelvis, which means a fair chance of reasonably sized ilium and pubis bones, and 2) that there be a fair amount of padding around those bones, which padding comes in the form of fat.
I can certainly appreciate the appearance of the skinny model type that is widely presented for the reason that it appeals to gay men, who dominate in the fashion industry because women don't like to be dressed by heterosexual men. However, for actual sex, I do not want an ironing board.
This seems to me fairly obvious. Even infants understand the aesthetics. There is a reason that you give children plush toys instead of skeletons festooned with razor blades for comfort. We all are born to want to hold onto someone large and soft, and when we discover sex, it becomes even more important. | |
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| What is sexy about FAT???
Posted: 10/30/2009 1:58:03 PM | | having a preference for curvy women, is not a fetish, it is not 'unatural'. for a woman to be large | |
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| What is sexy about FAT???
Posted: 10/30/2009 2:02:59 PM | size has nothing to do with whether or not deep penetration hurts. So you think fatter women have a deeper vagina than a smaller woman so can enjoy deeper penetration?
Naw, not how it goes. | |
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| What is sexy about FAT???
Posted: 10/30/2009 2:18:15 PM | Want to Travel-
I'm curvy all right...lol....but I'm not talking about my round curves necessarily but the dreaded F A T word. I've long learned to embrace all of me, because I am what I am...could I be smaller sure....but I love food but food don't love me...( perhaps I need to decrease food consumption and increase my sexual liaisons..hmmmmm thoughts to ponder)
OT-
You say it's not 'unnatural' for a woman to be large, but for some folks being 'large' doesn't equate to sexy----so for you it's okay if a woman is curvy. I'm not going to refer to myself as SUPER CURVY :) | |
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| What is sexy about FAT???
Posted: 10/30/2009 2:51:06 PM | Magical Mary: I'm sorry in that I can't help you suss out an answer for why some men like women of size. The best I can come up with in my mind is that is goes to some event in their childhood about want v. need. Perhaps they see in a woman of size an expression of plenitude, much as some societies around the world see large women as representing wealth, or at least the opposite of poverty. (This goes also for the men). As others have said, it could arise to the level of a fetish, a large obese woman being necessary for arousal. Call me blind, but I don't see it.
As for me I find excess adipose tissue to be a turn off. While my taste in women seems to be hardwired, I can verbalize why: since I've always had a struggle with my weight, I don't delight in seeing that condition in women. I find the feel, and appearance, of well defined muscles on a lithe woman to be pure ecstasy. And while my mates in my younger days were making cat calls at anything approaching Barbie, I was drooling over women of modest bustlines and slim hips.
applesn2pie wrote:
Laughing.... (never at someone) .... I was flipping thru the channels one night on directv. very late night.... I ran across this porn.... It was a huge/fat/giant lady and a guy, On the floor of some kitchen ... he was tossing flour on her and kneeding her fat like it was bread dough!!!!
a2p, I know that episode, not from the actual film/video, but from a "documentary" that HBO did a while ago called, I think, Porn in the Valley. It was 6-8 1/2 hour shows looking at the production of porn, and its impact, in the immediate and greater society / region. While there were some salacious parts, the series on the whole was enlightening. Very eye opening. Most of the non-porn involved commentators were women.
There were also several names I recognized which indicates how far into mainstream society porn has infiltrated.
TK
{did my bias come through?} | |
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| What is sexy about FAT???
Posted: 10/30/2009 3:04:33 PM | | Mary, I can tell you what I get told. Some men love the softness. They love the curves. They love a big butt and thick thighs and big breasts. They love the way the thickness and the softness feels in their arms. To them, it's femininity at it's best. I can see it. I have found thing women attractive in one way and big women attractive in another. I also love contrast. The men that are attracted to me tend to be very athletic, fit, body builder/fighter types. I really think it's the contrast that draws them. The hard and the soft just fit so well together. I know that it's nothing new. The Rubenesque masters painted women like me hundreds of years ago. | |
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| What is sexy about FAT???
Posted: 10/30/2009 3:18:54 PM | | there was a dtudy done in the UK men do not love skinny women, at least most dont | |
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| What is sexy about FAT???
Posted: 10/30/2009 3:48:23 PM |
This seems to me fairly obvious. Even infants understand the aesthetics. There is a reason that you give children plush toys instead of skeletons festooned with razor blades for comfort. We all are born to want to hold onto someone large and soft, and when we discover sex, it becomes even more important
Bwana, I am having a world class shitty time (terminal pet) but this cracked me up to the point my old girl lifted her head to see if I lost my mind... THX
Yari, there are fetishes, and then there are PEOPLE who really do find heavy as sexy...
Think about it for a moment, is it a fetish just to see the vjayjay??? That gets a mans motor running (Not all men, but that is a different story)
The sight of a bare breasted woman causing a boner, fetish, OR the way to get men and women together, some needed wiring to cause the species to continue...
Mary, this post actually reminds me of the phrase, there is someone for everyone... If people all liked white, skinny barbie doll types, then what the heck would happen to all the others who weren't that way?
This is where nature kicks in, and wires a person to find sexy in someone that another may not...
It would seem Mary that you have been brain washed by society that sexy only comes in skinny, which they have done a really good job at brain washing women in particular to feel this way (go back to Daddyjinxs story, his women decide to starve them self to be sexy, instead of believing HE SEES THESE WOMEN AS SEXY)
When my husband and I met I was lighter, well proportioned, but due to health issues, and meds I had been taking, I picked up pounds... My husband finds me sexy, he's not repulsed, nor does he want me getting all bone skinny, because I want to tell HIM what is sexy...
Off the meds from hell so I am going back down in size, however I have reconsidered going back to a size 4 to 6, because my man likes meat on his lady...
SO, maybe YOU don't see sexy in your size because you have had to long of a time where men have rejected you for THEIR idea of sexy.... Sucks, but YOUR MAN finds YOU sexy, and that doesn't mean he has a loose screw, but rather an ideal as to what HE finds sexy...
Enjoy it...
Oh for those who say eating healthy is to expensive... Maybe if you don't have time to grow your own organics, but some of us fit that into our busy schedule, because DAMN there is some really bad toxins in the stuff they call food these days... | |
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| What is sexy about FAT???
Posted: 10/30/2009 6:07:24 PM | Next-
Oh, I get that the man friend finds ME sexy---but it's my size that is part and parcel where the sexual attraction comes in---he actually hates when I call myself FAT...go figure. I use to worry all the time that I didn't fit societal modes of what is attractive, but again, over the years I've discovered I've ALWAYS exuded something that has appealed to men---perhaps it's confidence mixed in with humor and c*ckiness.
Regardless, even at the age of 43 I still have a hard time understanding how some men actually find FAT sexy. I know I'm not ugly, but I just don't see me as physically sexy---even if I exude some kind of sex appeal. I also know it's not just my man friend that finds my girth sexy-----many men do, even if they'd NEVER admit. Perhaps I need to move to the UK...lol.
P. S. Sorry to hear about your beloved pet....hope she hangs in there. | |
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| What is sexy about FAT???
Posted: 10/30/2009 6:23:26 PM | Here's a few I can think of:
1. All the important women in his life have been overweight - moms, sisters, aunts, grandmas...etc... So he grew up seeing big as the norm and as something he associates with love. Or, the opposite, from a family of bony skinnies and their bones hurt when he hugged them...so he hugged someone softer and plusher and really liked it and began to associate weight/curves with desire/attraction.
Case in point: My dad had chest hair, hair on his hands... as a result I think I see chest hair on men as manly, masculine, and preferable. Hairless chests just don't look manly to me. (or the opposite, my dad has a moustache and I can't stand that look on men)
2. His first/big love was a BBW. Therefore he tends to find women w/a similar body type to be attractive.
Case in point: my last love was a balding man, who kept his dark hair short but not shaved. You'd better bet I find that look hot as hell now when I see a guy like that. THey remind me of my last love.
3. I can say why I like men w/a little love in hteir belly...I love to run my fingers thru the hair on their soft bellies and lay my head on their bellies. My ex-hub was obese to the point that his belly was big round and hard and it icked me out. But really skinny I don't like either- because there's not enough for me to hug...I like enough man to hug to feel protected. So I like the middle ground - a soft belly.
I have my reasons... hate the ex, hate men who are built like him. Miss the last love, like guys like him. etc....
I don't think any of the above suggests men having a fetish or a sick reason for liking larger women. but they are certainly all reasons for men to be attracted to that body type.
Or hell it could be as simple as seeing a movie when a teenager with a larger women who was very sexy...since then he's had that association. *shrug* Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar, after all. | |
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| What is sexy about FAT???
Posted: 10/30/2009 6:44:26 PM | I don't know if it's a fetish since there are those who marry BBW's and are fine with fat rolls.
But i do know that there are thin women who prefer a man to have slightly more weight, not fat rolls because it makes them less attractive in their minds to other beautiful women.
( not true in my experience )
And it gives them a sense of security, like a teddy bear, it's heart warming and comforting.
Now when you have to lift your fat flap to get to your penis just to pee, there's something horribly wrong. | |
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| What is sexy about FAT???
Posted: 10/30/2009 7:01:05 PM |
What is sexy about FAT???
Absolutely nothing, in my opinion.
I find it to be quite gross, actually. | |
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| What is sexy about FAT???
Posted: 10/30/2009 9:09:29 PM |
They simply tire way too fast for my liking. Positions are extremely limited and that's a definite turnoff....
Have you ever had sex with a fat chick before?
No two 'types' of people are the same.
Some girls are reallllly flexible, thin or not.
Some girls have great stamina, thin or not.
It's easy to categorize EVERYONE that is overweight = lazy, doesn't exercise, always eats crap.
There are a lot of people working on becoming better people for themselves.
Some people have medical problems, as well.
Sht just doesn't change overnight.
I love bringing my best friend who is thin to the gym. She's tired after 20 minutes of walking on the treadmill. She eats fast food three times a day. She only likes 5 mins of sex because she gets too tired. I'm the COMPLETE opposite.
Gah.
/end rant.
And I've liked bigger girls and guys because they are soft and there's more to lick and rub and touch. Yummy. | |
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| What is sexy about FAT???
Posted: 10/30/2009 10:19:49 PM | OP-
People like what they like. Don't get too deep with it because at least you have something most people are all searching for. You, lady, have a true sense of self and I love it! You should call yourself Big Sexy!!! | |
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| What is sexy about FAT???
Posted: 10/30/2009 10:28:46 PM | | Any one having issue with their fat content and believe me, it's usually between 'their' ears should't worry about whether they're bones or fat. My ex was a fatty and stated such. We looked bit like Laurel and Hardy (but male/female). Who cared? Not us! | |
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| What is sexy about FAT???
Posted: 10/31/2009 7:34:56 AM | | I think everyone has their own personal preferences and what they find attractive. My boyfriend it kinda in the middle about it. He doesn't like super skinny girls, but also doesn't want really obese. I'm kinda in the middle, you'd never call me skinny, but you wouldn't call me fat either. | |
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| What is sexy about FAT???
Posted: 10/31/2009 7:46:49 AM | Lint spotter said: "It shows that they like to eat, and I like nothing more than to cook a good meal for someone that truly appreciates the food. I also adore getting a hug from a guy that towers over me... to be cocooned in his arms gives a feeling of divinity that simply cannot be described. Add to that the softness of a few extra pounds and such and I'm in heaven...
Of course he can't be all jello and mush, there has to be the strength of a man underneath the extra layer.
This isn't to say that I don't find guys that work out and are toned attractive, I absolutely do... ".
I agree with this totally, however I do want someone who also likes to try to be health consious too, I would like to keep them around for awhile..
Karma1160 | |
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| What is sexy about FAT???
Posted: 10/31/2009 8:11:38 AM | | I like thinner girls. But I've had large as well. As long as I like their mind it doesn't much matter. For marriage they would have to at least live a healthy life. Because I try too. Lost 40 pounds this year so far. | |
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| What is sexy about FAT???
Posted: 10/31/2009 9:08:02 AM | I prefer women with a few extra pounds...
By a few I don't mean triple digits either....
I have dated women who were so slim they were painful to bump into, sharp bones and hard edges....
I have dated women who were larger than average(even by today's average)...
I have dated women with flawless perfect physiques...
The skinny ones, the perfect ones and the fat ones all were frankly a pain in the ass to go out to dinner with.... "I can't eat this, or I can't Eat that..." all too wrapped up in watching their weight...
The women who were just a few pounds overweight seemed to be the happiest... if they went up or down 5 pounds or more after a party weekend or a lot of dining out... they just dealt with it and quietly lost a few pounds to make up for it...
But the big part was they were fun to be with... They weren't counting calories all the time....
They were softer and fun in bed... no sharp edges, yet no mistaking a fold of flab for an orifice.... (Very confusing now that most women don't have hair around it.... LOL)
They were also almost as flexible as the skinny ones but a little more feminine | |
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