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| What is sexy about FAT???
Posted: 10/31/2009 10:31:59 AM | ^^^^^^^^^^^ rotflmfao---M church....darlin, may you never change!!!!!
Again, thanks to everyone for the feedback. I am not suggesting everyone should find fat sexy, but apparently fat ---or ample curves--even overly extra curves do have some sex appeal for men ( and it appears women too ).
I've asked the men I've dated what about me they liked most....and few would actually speak of my shape it was always 'other' things. Though, I must say the person I see now clearly is into my SIZE.
I have accepted me for me...and my hope is that others accept themselves too. None of us, that I'm aware of are perfect, so I like to embrace my imperfections and excel at being the best person I can be. Yes, I still ponder this notion that fat appears to be sexy to some, and I may always find it curious, but that is my lil issue and probably always will be. | |
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| What is sexy about FAT???
Posted: 10/31/2009 1:34:38 PM | I appreciate BigDaddyJinx reply.
OK, I am fat. Not a word I like to use I prefer 'overweight' or something else but for it's purposes we can use fat.
And even I don't see the attraction in rolls and hangovers - and not all big women have rolls and hangovers. They have flatter stomachs and a smaller waste and wide hips and bigger derriers and maybe bigger breasts. That's the shape I covet and what I strive for. I can't be hour-glass because I am smaller breasted, but a nice toned pear shaped for woman like me is good. I can understand a guy attracted to women with meat on their bones - totally. I like that they like meat on their bones. But to me there is a difference between Queen Latifah Types and those in 'Fatty' magazine.
Guys attracted to Queen Latifah types - a go for me. It means they like fine thick women who still manage to keep themselves them up.
Those attracted to those in Fatty magazine - a no go. I think of these types as those who may have gotten rejected by fitter or smaller women and then sought out those who they thought would reject them less - and it was true that fatter women did reject them less. So then they got a little bit of a perverted sexual fetish for rolls, hangovers, guts, cellullite and all that. I got some of that but I don't want ANY man with that kind of sexual insecurity. Simply put, if you like my oversize curves and thick thighs that's one thing. If you like my rolls and hangovers, that's another. I would be interested in a guy who likes the former but not the latter.
I am not attracted to fat men. But there is difference in the type of big guys I'm attracted too. I would probably be interested in most of the guys who appeared on Celebrity Fit Club. Most, but not all. Some of the men were just 'thick' not fat at all. But most of those appeared on Biggest Loser - no. | |
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| What is sexy about FAT???
Posted: 10/31/2009 1:53:51 PM | Let me say it's discouraging as an adult to see that name calling and bashing each other still occurs---why??? I think it's important to share our differences and simply AGREE to DISAGREE about our likes and dislikes.
I don't want this thread dumped because adults are resorting to name calling, so I'm respectfully asking anyone who has the need to unkind to find something better to do like hug a friend---go look in the mirror and say 'dang, I'm sexy'---but name calling is unnecessary.
Thanks!! | |
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| What is sexy about FAT???
Posted: 10/31/2009 1:57:49 PM | Interesting thread. Glad to see a minimum of fat-bashing (happily surprised, actually).
Fortunately people vary in their preferences. Personally, I am not attracted to fat rolls. That doesn't mean others shouldn't be. I love brussel sprouts, many people don't. Its all good. :) | |
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| What is sexy about FAT???
Posted: 10/31/2009 4:31:18 PM | I'm going to answe your question with another question
Why is thin sexy? | |
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| What is sexy about FAT???
Posted: 10/31/2009 4:36:20 PM | | MagicalMary you have such a great attitude about life, too many of us forget to love ourselves for who we are and not allow others to make us feel bad. It all comes down to personal preference, there is no right or wrong, just what we are attracted too. We do learn from our own experiences, so if past experiences are positive with a larger woman/man than it would be something to repeat and you would probably seek out larger women/men in future relationships. | |
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| What is sexy about FAT???
Posted: 10/31/2009 4:42:08 PM | Ipostonforums asked:
I'm going to answe your question with another question
Why is thin sexy?
Thin, as a goal, or as an end unto itself, is not so sexy. I have seen too many women with pipe cleaner arms and legs bolted to an emaciated body -- no muscle tone, just skin and bones. Basically, prepubescent waifs, not much good but to drape clothes on.
But slender with defined muscle tone, a confident attitude from knowing their body is capable of performing as it was intended -- now that's something to get exited over.
For me femininity comes not from all those bumps and curves but from mind set and attitude; female is as female does.
TK | |
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| What is sexy about FAT???
Posted: 10/31/2009 5:21:44 PM |
Let me say it's discouraging as an adult to see that name calling and bashing each other still occurs---why??? I think it's important to share our differences and simply AGREE to DISAGREE about our likes and dislikes.
Some people just don't know how to talk about weight issues.
As someone who has been very thin (skinny) all her life and unable to gain weight, most of you need to understand it from my perspective. All my life, I have wanted to look like Raquel Welch. I CANNOT gain weight. I'm not going into the whys, but not all thin people want to be that way and we don't do it to attract men.
Thin, as a goal, or as an end unto itself, is not so sexy.
But, how is a man supposed to know from just looking at a woman that her goal is NOT to be thin? As BDJ says, he looks at them and shakes his head. If he lived in my city, I would probably be someone he would shake his head at.
It's funny, because I usually work out because it makes me feel good. I have been off that regimen for quite some time due to outside influences. I like the extra softness my body has, but I also like how I feel and how my legs and ass look when I work out.
People have reassured me that I don't look unhealthy, but it is hard to not think that. I too, find the women in magazines ridiculous. When I can see my hipbones too much, I worry LOL.
It's funny, but I've tried to have friendships with thinner women and frankly I could not relate to them - many have had too perfect of a life for me. And I LOVE to eat!
My doctor has often encouraged me to take up public speaking for young girls to speak about weight issues. Imagine that! A skinny girl encouraging women NOT to be skinny!
Even though I am quite thin, I have a waist that curves in and nice breasts actually!
I have been reading these forums for quite a few years, but even before that I knew that the majority of men were not attracted to stick thin women. It's funny how perspective changes things. It sucks that women and girls can't let the things that men are saying on here and out there sink in :(
I've said for years that people seek out "average". Like other posters have said on here, not rolls of fat, but some extra weight.
After reading 98% of the men on here saying they don't want me, how do you think that makes me feel? (this is just an observation for you to think about - it's not a whine from me, btw). | |
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| What is sexy about FAT???
Posted: 10/31/2009 5:42:13 PM | | wild heart, it's not easy to be on either end of the extreme. My best friend in school was naturally rail thin her whole life. I was naturally thick my whole life. Mush us together and we might make a normal person. It was not easy for either of us but, in the end, there are people who are attracted to rail thin and there are people attracted to big. So, just live, enjoy, and accept that there will be someone that you just flat out do it for even when you don't understand why. | |
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| What is sexy about FAT???
Posted: 10/31/2009 5:52:05 PM | Hey kthyg, I do recall you mentioning that to me before, so I don't doubt your understanding.
I don't need to be convinced of anything, I just think that some people don't try to understand the other side (this goes for the thin and the larger person).....many fit people do not understand the challenges that larger people face, and many larger people do not understand the challenges that a thinner person faces.
I'm simply trying to bring another viewpoint into the mix, as we so seldom hear from the thin side LOL. We either hear the fit people bashing the large people (ewww gross) or the larger women putting us thin women down (bag of bones). | |
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| What is sexy about FAT???
Posted: 10/31/2009 9:14:35 PM | I think the burning question is what makes any sexual preference, be it fat, thin, anal or not, dark haired guys or blondes, on top or bottom, etc., whatever turns us on--where does that come from? It is ingrained in us from our childhood psyche? Wish there were a psychologist to weigh in on where our "preferences" come from, i.e., I would never date a blond, never, just does not float my boat.
I don't think sexy=fat is any different from any other sexual preference.
On the story of fat, I have just recently lost 47 pounds and my self-esteem is pretty good right now. Why?--because society tells me that thin is pretty, therein I am--and that is really unfortunate. I lost weight for health reasons but cannot deny the "person" attraction factor to being smaller. It is a sad society, that I feel I am a good person when thin and a yucky pig when I am overweight.
I blame alot of this on the fashion designers. Have you read about the Ralph Lauren model who got fired and is doing an expose on why? They pasted her head on an impossibly skinny body--hips smaller than her head--on someone else--this ad was in Asian papers and mags, which they have since pulled. Ralph Lauren says it was a mistake, yeah, right. The fashion industry rules us, a size 12 is considered "plus size" in their world. Whatever.
So, to sum it up, I guess, it is IMHO an early life exposure or inherent exposure thing of some kind and also a societal one is whether we consider fat or thin or average sexy.
Bring on the "plus" sized models. Dove has done a really good job at that.
All the best to all who are in this battle.
 | |
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| What is sexy about FAT???
Posted: 10/31/2009 10:14:13 PM | Mary,
I pretty much read all the post's here & I STILL don't think you really got the answer you were looking for did you? I can't say because I'm yet another woman responding to your post but I will say I think you are awesome! (hmm, another strong, ballsy, funny as h*ll fire sign like me). I saw a show on this once & from what I could understand (there are men that are just into the fetish if you will) but all the women on the panel were maried or had a SO. I guess they just at first liked the softness of the roles of skin, this is what they said anyways but, did you ever think it's kind of like some men just being attracted to skinny mini's (which I don't understand because they look like a 12 year old boy to me, but hey they like what they like). I don't think I read that you asked the person you were with right now what he likes about it? I know you asked other's. I guess that's what you need to ask him. At any rate, if it works, it works! | |
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| What is sexy about FAT???
Posted: 10/31/2009 10:42:14 PM | Matter of preference.
Some guys like long hair, some guys like short hair. etc.
As for a biological/psychological perspective, I cannot see the justification for their choice as obesity is linked with poor health and dietary habits and is therefore detrimental to reproductive fitness.
But then again how do you explain gay guys?? | |
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| What is sexy about FAT???
Posted: 11/1/2009 12:20:07 AM | | Don't know what the fat issue has to do with gay guys? But what has got me puzzled is Tarnished Knight's ideal women who is slender , not thin, not fat, but slender. Now that has got me thinking. What IS slender ... is it fat selectively distributed by nature? or is it worked on in the gym? At any rate I'm still puzzled as the only times I've seen that ideal idealised is in Mills and Boon fiction. Now don't go getting all upperclassy about Mills and Boon, because to become a writer for Mills and Boon you really are put through the mill. You MUST be able to write well and cleverly. You can't just bowl up and say 'I'll write you a romantic tale of a rich man and a poor girl'... No no no. Psychologically they need good academically trained writers who can come up with the goods. And back to my point... Mills and Boon heroines are often slender ..NEVER fat! But what is slenderness..... no muscles or no fat or a mix of both and how is it so smoothly spread? Oh and slender ladies swoon . So should they eat more or work out less? It's a puzzle. | |
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| What is sexy about FAT???
Posted: 11/1/2009 1:01:16 AM | Slender has curves. I think that is the main thing. Skinny is more waifish, minimal curves, more straight up and down.
I saw a picture of America Ferrera in a bathing suit and I could call her slender. She looks more on the 'thick' side in clothes but I was surprised to see she is slim with curves - flat stomach and fuller hips and thighs. She slim but may still be on the plus side (plus size meaning a size 8-14).
Other slim and not skinny no fat types would be....
Britney Spears.
Jen Lopez.
Gabriel Union
Laila Ali - actually a 'slim' plus size. | |
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| What is sexy about FAT???
Posted: 11/1/2009 1:12:17 AM | blame alot of this on the fashion designers. Have you read about the Ralph Lauren model who got fired and is doing an expose on why? They pasted her head on an impossibly skinny body--hips smaller than her head--on someone else--this ad was in Asian papers and mags, which they have since pulled. Ralph Lauren says it was a mistake, yeah, right. The fashion industry rules us, a size 12 is considered "plus size" in their world. Whatever.
Yeah, or like America's next top model who voted off someone because they had gained weight and then tried to pass it off as another reason! I stopped watching the show after that because I found it so insulting.
did you ever think it's kind of like some men just being attracted to skinny mini's (which I don't understand because they look like a 12 year old boy to me
Here is an example of exactly what I was talking about in my first post about how some people should NOT talk about weight issues. Do you think us smaller women who have no control over how much we weigh like being compared to a 12 year old? Pfft. Lack of understanding about weight issues in general.
As for comparing real people to celebrities? I hate that. Celebrities have the time and money to look how they want. We'd all look that good if we did too. | |
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| What is sexy about FAT???
Posted: 11/1/2009 1:31:54 AM |
As for comparing real people to celebrities? I hate that. Celebrities have the time and money to look how they want. We'd all look that good if we did too. Reading comprehension is fundamental.
Since I am the only one (I think) who has mentioned celebs, I think you are talking about me.
What I posted is not a comparison. It was asked 'what is slender' and I used the celebs as EXAMPLES of what is slender. I could say my daughter is slender. My next door neighbor. My aunt. My cat. But who the hell knows these people? But just about everyone knows pop culture and celebs and who they are - so they are easier to use as examples. | |
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| What is sexy about FAT???
Posted: 11/1/2009 1:51:23 AM |
As someone who has been very thin (skinny) all her life and unable to gain weight, most of you need to understand it from my perspective. All my life, I have wanted to look like Raquel Welch. I CANNOT gain weight. I'm not going into the whys, but not all thin people want to be that way and we don't do it to attract men.
WH -- You say that like no one on Earth is skinny and can't gain weight 
It's not that people don't see things from your perspective...it's just not the topic of THIS thread. The topic is why FAT is sexy. But I assure you that it's not because people don't see it from your end of the scale (pun intended).
Like you, I have been skinny all my life. No matter how much I eat or what I do, I can't really "gain". I'd like to some days because like most, I have the occasional bout where I look in the mirror and go "Ugh...wtf...I wish I could (insert whatever weight related trauma here)". It happens to me too. But I just remember that it could be worse, and I could be 300+ lbs and very unhealthy. Huffing and puffing just lifting a spoon to my yap. Stuff like that. So it could be worse.
And those times I ask myself how anyone could find ME sexually attractive when there's a million other guys that look more "average" or "normal". So what could they see in ME, right?
WRONG.
Sure they may have the body I wanted as a kid, and have that physical presence going for them...but what else? That's usually when I stop and then laugh. GENERALLY SPEAKING (pay attention people...this means a general interpretation!) those that have the body I wanted as a kid are so f*cking into themselves they can't see straight...think they're big pimps...and have all the IQ I could fit in a teaspoon. I've watered things smarter than them. And they have the charisma of a Pet Rock.
All sizzle...no steak.
It's all about attitude and how you carry yourself. I came to discover long ago that my weight or lack thereof ain't gonna get me more or less dates. Who I AM will do all the work for me. My appearance will matter to someone, somewhere...but they want that look I wanted as a kid, and they'll get what they want from someone else...and generally be disappointed later once the flash and dash wears off. I'll continue to be me, and be cool with that.
People are gonna like me for who I am. Not for how I look. I gave up on that illusion long ago. Funny thing too...soon as I did, my dating caliber shot through the roof as did my expressed interest from the opposite sex. Why would I obsess about who I'm not when the odds are so clearly stacked now in my favor with just accepting who I AM?
And I'm sure people are savvy enough to know that not all women look emaciated because they're trying to fit in or land a man. Some people are just naturally thinner than average and that can't really be helped. We're proposing that as a standing issue (think: bulimia/anorexia being so popular) there are far too many that actually DO look emaciated BECAUSE they are in fact trying to fit in or land a man. Those ones need to understand that they're just fooling themselves, and quite often putting themselves in harm's way to live up to a standard that not many actually do like...but society wants you to buy-in.
After reading 98% of the men on here saying they don't want me, how do you think that makes me feel? (this is just an observation for you to think about - it's not a whine from me, btw).
It makes you feel however you want it to allow you to feel. If you perceive attack...then you'll feel attacked. If you perceive opinions...then you won't care. Most important...if you perceive that you're talking about a FINITE and enormously SMALL cross section of an entire planet...you'll realize your "98% of men..." reflect just the smallest fraction and you'll laugh about it.
Why anyone would let what 98% of men here have to say about liking curves you may or may not have bother you in any way is a mystery.
Small cross section. Estimated 50K or less. Planet has 7 billion people (so estimate 3.5 billion males). Do the math.
Be happy with who you are as long as you're healthy, and getting some attention from someone. | |
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| What is sexy about FAT???
Posted: 11/1/2009 2:12:41 AM | Cause FAT WOMEN FEEL GOOD!!!!! You can grab us, and roll around with us, we've got big boobies to put your head in between, or any other part in between, you can grab out big butts and squeeze it, when you're on top and going at it you never hit bone, you hit cushion which feels amazingly good, when you've got us on our knees, you see that round butt which curves into our waist and it's just downright sexy!!!
We look really good in stockings and garters and heels and when you take our clothes off our bras hold up our breasts and we look much more like pinup girls than twigs.
And I'm not fat, I'm fluffy.
Beth | |
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| What is sexy about FAT???
Posted: 11/1/2009 2:19:43 AM | Interesting thread. I'm somewhere in between "thin" and "fat" and I've been both much slimmer and much heavier than I am now. I don't think I've ever been with a man who had a "fetish" when it comes to size, but I did once ask a man why he loved my body--at a point at which I felt heavier than I wanted to be. He told me that he liked BOUNTY, and he found my curves and body "bountiful." He explained it and I can't remember exactly what he said, but it came down to feeling like my body was generous (to him) or "fertile" like a garden (in the non-baby making sense) in a way that thin bodies aren't (in his opinion). That was HIM, and probably many men will find it bizarre.....but others won't.
Anyway, I think it's great that we all have different tastes, which means that nobody needs to believe that there is only one "type" that we have to BE in order to find love (or sex). I personally object to the "fetish" language because it reduces women (of whatever size) to objects: if it's a "fetish" to like very "fat" women then surely it's also a "fetish" to like very "thin" women: neither are traditionally "perfect."
However, I also think that it's good to aspire to health and balance. While I don't have a particular "fetish" when it comes to men's bodies, there is nothing more sexy to me than a man who is clearly comfortable in his own skin, and I suspect that men feel the same about women. And I don't think I've ever met a VERY obese man or woman who feels (or seems to feel) that kind of "in my own skin" comfort. | |
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| What is sexy about FAT???
Posted: 11/1/2009 2:56:25 AM | ok heres bigmamma....
There are men out there who like big women maybe its more to cuddle.
But i am big but was over over weight i was 140 now im happy to say just got under 100.
Diabettes is not good. And having a mini stroke had to change my thoughts.
But im still bigboldbeautiful and the only thing i hate is im loosing the weight but my bloodiee boobs havent lost any lol.
Hey big small thin shallow we all have our fantasies...
But as a warning we do need to keep the weight off for we do want to be around for our grandchildren
GOD IM SEXY.... i tell myself each day for i need it. | |
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| What is sexy about FAT???
Posted: 11/1/2009 3:39:39 AM | I just got up---ugh I hate daylight savings time----and have to say THANKS to everyone for 'getting' it. Let me just say, when I was younger ( and I've looked back at old pictures of me) I had a flat stomach---small boobs---an ample butt--and a round face and I was called 'fat'. I wasn't really fat, but I came to believe that based on all the things that I was told. Now, that I am fat, I look back at those pictures and think..'damn, I was skinny' .
At the time my self-esteem was pitiful and all I saw was FAT. When I looked in the mirror, despite the fact I really wasn't fat at all, that became my perception no matter what the scale said. I was made fun of most of my life, but as a way to survive, I just poked fun at myself, sought comfort in food and slowly over the years watched my body shape change. My ass got bigger, my face fuller, my breasts bigger and the whole of me rounder.
Regardless, I always appealed to men for some reason or another. I've battled with my weight most of my life---and ironically----when I lost a lot of weight either my friends would sabotage my success or I would. Left me wondering, am I suppose to be fat, and if so, why not simply embrace it. Clearly, being overweight is not healthy, and I've been doing a lot of things to rectify that, but the one thing that still is hard for me to digest ( no pun intended ) that in a society that says fat is unattractive, there are still men who equate fat as sexy.
I can empathize with anyone---including women who struggle with being underweight---I lost a dear friend because she believed that she was fat and starved herself to death at the age of 21. As I've gotten older, and I hope wiser, I think beauty comes in all shapes and sizes. Size acceptance is difficult--no matter where you fall on the scale. Clearly, I've learned to worry less about what others think and simply embrace the fact that some men do find some women who are fat sexy-----perhaps it's all in a woman's attitude ---in which case I not only sizzle---I'm a fkn siren.  | |
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| What is sexy about FAT???
Posted: 11/1/2009 4:36:30 AM | Right on Beth 
And Mary you are great. I guess we never found a psychologist to tell us where our particular "turn ons" come from--but there is always someone who likes what we have or do.  | |
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| What is sexy about FAT???
Posted: 11/1/2009 8:48:51 AM |
And those times I ask myself how anyone could find ME sexually attractive when there's a million other guys that look more "average" or "normal". So what could they see in ME, right?
WRONG.
Sure they may have the body I wanted as a kid, and have that physical presence going for them...but what else?... GENERALLY SPEAKING... those that have the body I wanted as a kid are so f*cking into themselves they can't see straight...think they're big pimps...and have all the IQ I could fit in a teaspoon. I've watered things smarter than them. And they have the charisma of a Pet Rock.
All sizzle...no steak.
It's all about attitude and how you carry yourself. ... Who I AM will do all the work for me. My appearance will matter to someone, somewhere...{but}I'll continue to be me, and be cool with that.
People are gonna like me for who I am. Not for how I look. Well spoken and refreshing - especially coming from a guy on this forum.  | |
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