| What is sexy about FAT???
Posted: 11/3/2009 9:38:35 AM | Not all cultures have held overweight women in high esteem over the centuries. In Western culture, the hour-glass figure has long been the preference... Whether thin, or more buxom, a discernibly smaller waistline has been considered more attractive. Science defends the "Barbie" figure as being more fertile, as well. In Asia, where the largest concentration of human population is, obesity has never been a selling point for fertility or attraction.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/3682657.stm
If a man finds fat to be attractive, why ask why? Just enjoy it. The truth may not be flattering. Few men would choose a large woman over a slimmer one, given similar personalities and status. Many of our preferences are shaped by our experiences with the opposite sex from birth. If thin women have rejected us throughout life, or treated us poorly, and bigger women shown us more kindness and acceptance, then it isn't hard to see how fat would be seen as a safe haven... Or even preferred. I've had better experiences with women born in foreign countries than those born in The States. This has influenced my preferences in much the same way. | |
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| What is sexy about FAT???
Posted: 11/3/2009 10:25:11 AM | I will admit I'm not into "FAT" women, I do however like a woman with a little meat on her. I find that skinny women have all kinds of other issues and drama (this is pretty much the rule in my experience). I also find that women with a little extra weight tend to be more giving both in bed and in the relationship as a whole.
I think for me it all goes back to an overheard conversation between my Grandfather and an old war buddy of his. Grandpa told his friend that the best sex he ever had was a "FAT" German woman, he said she was wild in the sack. Then he turned to me and said everything you heard here refers to your Grandmother. I miss Grandpa.  | |
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| What is sexy about FAT???
Posted: 11/3/2009 12:47:01 PM | I am over weight as well. I am comfortable with myself. It has taken a lot of years to get here. Now that being said, I am also having gastric bypass within this year. I am very excited about it and have done a lot of research on it including talking to others who have had it done. I am not doing it for anyone but me. My view on the whole topic is so different from everyone elses. I never really think about anothers body shape or type. I think everyone is beautiful in there own way. I am more attracted to personality than looks. I love people who are sweet, and funny and that work hard.
However, if you don't like me because of my body size well that is your choice. I have friends and have had lovers all shapes and sizes. In each case it is personality that is what drew me to them not what they weigh. | |
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| What is sexy about FAT???
Posted: 11/3/2009 12:51:55 PM | LOL WAT!!!? ^^^^^^^^
"I am comfortable with myself. It has taken a lot of years to get here.
i was like oh ok good for you
"Now that being said, I am also having gastric bypass within this year. "
then epic failure | |
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| What is sexy about FAT???
Posted: 11/3/2009 2:43:05 PM | | africanarmenian- there is nothing failure about me. The choice for gastric bypass is mine. I am comfortable with myself. I am a great person. Funny, smart, beautiful, very caring of others. But, there are some health concerns that run in my family that I choose not to ignore anymore and would like to prevent. Cancer, diabetes, kidney failure and heart problems to name a few. My choice for this surgery is entirely my own. If it will help me prevent that, then will do it. Infertility is also a factor. If I want to have children in the future, I need to do this. It is not a vanity issue, it is a health issue. | |
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| What is sexy about FAT???
Posted: 11/3/2009 2:55:25 PM | Wow----and the fun begins. What I find interesting about this thread and others like it is that very few people actually answer the question and then the thread takes on a life of it's own. Regardless, it's nice to see some of the differences with limited mud slinging.
I personally don't find any fat on my body to be sexy----but for a lot of men I've dated they had NO issue with it at all. ( maybe it was my oral skills or the fact I'm a total freak in the sack that helped...ROFLMAO). I can safely say that I've dated every type of man from the very average to Mr Bo Hunk----and yes, they took me on real dates out in public-----to be honest I think I had more hang-ups about it then they did.
I'm not asking anyone to embrace the over weight and say yeah, I wanna bag me one of them babes----I am just curious what about it the extra size of some women ( and men ) make members of the opposite sex go ga ga----and very few men have stepped up to answer. Must be like the old analogy---Fat girls are like Mopeds---they might be fun to ride but no one wants to get caught riding one....guess, no one wants to talk about it either...oh the horror it all.
I still in embrace my roly poly body----round is a shape...therefore I'm shapely..
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| What is sexy about FAT???
Posted: 11/3/2009 3:44:04 PM | | Mary, I am wondering if you aren't getting the answers you are looking for because there are not any answers. What makes anything attractive to someone? Why do I think dredlocks are incredibly sexy? No idea but it does it for me. I don't think we can always identify why something is sexy to us. Certain things just flat out work for us. | |
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| What is sexy about FAT???
Posted: 11/3/2009 4:10:27 PM | Kthyg--
Actually, I am getting some answers, but the thing is....fat in and of itself, in my opinion holds little sex appeal, maybe it's because of the things I've heard all my life or the fact I bought into certain stereotypes of what DEFINES sexy---and from what I've seen, read, or experienced in one way or another fat does not equate to sexy.
But dang it all----I feel sexy----collectively----it's just when I think I'm a 'fetish' it does make me wonder---and I am being sought because someone really likes me collectively or am I simply sought for my juicy fat parts. *giggle---I think you know what I mean * | |
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| What is sexy about FAT???
Posted: 11/3/2009 4:21:00 PM | Magical Mary.. Do you think there might be a recognition in you or at least a suspicion, that theres a disconnect bewteen how fat looks and how fat feels?
I suspect we have all been influenced to not look at fat as aethetically pleasing, and yet, judging by responses on your thread, to a lot of people, it 'feels' really good.
A sort of cognitive dissonance in how we feel and view ourselves or others who happen to have a lot of fat on them seems to be happening here.
I like the feel of fat, but I also like how it looks. To me, it is attractive. No, its not a fetish for me, as I am lucky enough to be attracted to a very wide range of body types, from thin to fat to tall to short etc etc... so its not a 'must'.. but to me, someone overweight, even very overweight can be beautiful and sexually attractive.
Of course there will be doubts about what someone 'wants you for,.. maybe thin women fear secretly that men only want them because they seem physically easier to control, or to be thrown around in the bedroom, (another type of fetish?)
or we may wonder if someone wants us for other superficial reasons,.. this is not exclusive to fat, but to any physical characterristic we may have.
To me, the answer is simple.. speaking for my self,.. yes i can find actual fat sexually and aesthetically attractive.
It has no 'bad' connotations for me. G. x | |
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| What is sexy about FAT???
Posted: 11/3/2009 7:01:34 PM | But dang it all----I feel sexy----collectively----
And therein lies your answer as to why men find you sexy! Not only are men looking at the package, but the (what I call) "vibe" behind the package. | |
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| What is sexy about FAT???
Posted: 11/3/2009 7:44:05 PM | | I think there are more men turned on by heavier women than you'd think. Trouble is, some men--especially younger men--are more concerned with dating women their male friends will find acceptable than the ones they are genuinely attracted to. | |
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| What is sexy about FAT???
Posted: 11/3/2009 8:53:46 PM | ^^^^ I know that is true in some cases....I don't mind being someones 'dirty' lil secret because sometimes I just wanna be plain dirty and enjoy the bounty---but for a real meat and potatoes relationship ( notice I use analogies with food lol) I want and need more. I want to know that the person cares about me and needs me in his life---I don't want to be some freak show that they wanna pork out more or just roll around my body cuz that's the only allure I have for them.
And for them weight trainers in da house.....let's get busy.....put ya muscle where ya mouth is and give a girl some inspiration. Get naked and let me chase you around the POF forums. (yeah, I'm sarcastic, but I don't say it with ill intent)  | |
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| What is sexy about FAT???
Posted: 11/3/2009 9:14:41 PM | | One thing i can say for sure is i've never heard a guy say: "my wife or gf is too skinny". I've heard plenty say"my wife or gf is too big". One guy i worked with said " i've never walked down the mall and a big woman passes and i turn to take another look and say damn, she's sexy". I'd say the majority of men prefer average women, which would be expected. | |
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| What is sexy about FAT???
Posted: 11/3/2009 9:33:33 PM | What is sexy about FAT???
Not a damn thing I think. Visions of Austin Powers Fat Scottish **stard rubbing himself with chicken grease extolling "I'm dead sexy...look at my big hairy titties" comes to mind.
Getting a bit paunchy myself and I don't think I'm a bit sexy in this state. Time to lay off the light beer, get in the gym and on the bike again... | |
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| What is sexy about FAT???
Posted: 11/3/2009 9:34:47 PM | Mary, you crack me up hun... reminds me of a friend of mines mom, also a big woman, but she never let it get to her... which makes me think its more about how you carry yourself...... most of my friends are guys (rednecks - always fun)... and we've gotten into conversations about the women they've dated, and (if applicable) their current woman... they all pretty much said the same thing... the ones they've got now are with them because of the woman as a whole.... sure, when they were younger it was all about looks, but I think its the same for most men, as they age they begin to look for an all around beauty... not just a physically attractive woman. No I'm not saying its not a fetish, because that can be the case as well (friend of mine - he's my size, just over 5 ft, barely cuts 120 lbs ... his soon to be wife *yay! I'm in the wedding* is a rather large woman... and he's told me he loves her because of her size, and she's absolutely fine with it).
It can also go the other way around... I prefer a larger man - "well fed" as I call it... and its not a fetish, I just find a bit of a beer gut a major turn-on... the 'teddy bear' type if you will .... its not just a sexual turn on either, its a comfort and security issue as well.... a bigger guy is much easier to cuddle up with than a skinnier one, and a bigger guy is likely to be more able to restrain me when my temper gets the best of me...
also note... its very awkward when your man has to ask if the jeans on the floor are his or yours...
just my perspective.... | |
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| What is sexy about FAT???
Posted: 11/4/2009 1:32:52 AM |
Actually, I am getting some answers, but the thing is....fat in and of itself, in my opinion holds little sex appeal, maybe it's because of the things I've heard all my life or the fact I bought into certain stereotypes of what DEFINES sexy---and from what I've seen, read, or experienced in one way or another fat does not equate to sexy.
I want to know that the person cares about me and needs me in his life---I don't want to be some freak show that they wanna pork out more or just roll around my body cuz that's the only allure I have for them
Mary it still seems to me that you are sold on the stereo type that beauty if this skinny minis that are so afraid to gain an ounce that they spend most of their time trying to figure out how NOT to be hungry even when they were starving...
I know this feeling, was anorexic in my 20's for four years and nearly destroyed my internal organs being miss perfectly skinny... However I was so damn focused on being this bone skinny person, I couldn't see that I was to damn skinny...
There is NOTHING sexy about looking like you just came off the boat from Ethiopia either...
I will admit the first nude obese person I seen, was ummm rather shocking, because I hadn't seen that kind of body shape...
I would hope that you would be willing to trust that someone who is willing to take you places, and be with you for you, that you can trust he loves you for more than a fetish... Perhaps his attraction is the naughty minx you are in bed, and there is nothing better than a well fed man, that is sexually satisfied...
I do suspect that their may be men who are afraid to say they like a woman for her, instead of just seeing her as a sex object... HOWEVER, it isn't any more flattering REALLY in a respectful way to be with someone that is with you just because your body is smoking hot... That is the same as what you are taking issue of... Just a thought | |
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| What is sexy about FAT???
Posted: 11/4/2009 4:04:22 AM | | this is an interesting post...i've been overweight most of my life and had men of all shapes turned on by me. for health reasons , i've went from 278-down to 198 with diet and exercise....and still attracting the same people. it's because i dazzle them with my wit and humor. one of the best benefits besides being healthier...is that i'm in my sexual prime and my stamina is through the roof and can now get into positions i've only dreamed of. | |
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| What is sexy about FAT???
Posted: 11/4/2009 8:57:24 AM |
There's a huge difference between a larger guy who is mostly muscle and one who is just clinically obese lacking any type of muscle maturity.
Most women do not find the pot belly look sexy.
I have never heard those words come out of a woman's mouth when they're talking to me about what they like in men.
I would tend to think your love of pot-bellied men is a small minority just as the guys who chase BBW types.
America is getting fatter, but that doesn't mean the physical ideal of what is portrayed in the media is changing.
In fact, if anything it's getting more petite, tanner and more blonde as time goes on.
ha ha ha ... i never said pot bellies, i said a bit of a beer gut... big difference -- a pot belly is from lack of movement, a beer gut is from, well, too many fun nights by the fire... and most women probably are afraid to admit a beer gut is a turn on... I know alot of women who prefer the 'well fed' type.... and alot of men who prefer bigger women, but this is the POF forum, and most people say what they see and tend to attempt to make it a solid fact.... | |
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| What is sexy about FAT???
Posted: 11/4/2009 9:38:39 AM | Division77
who's going to admit to a fit in shape person that they honestly like a little bit of weight on their woman/man? I am, that's who. I'm telling you if a skinny woman, an average woman, a woman that is mildly overweight and a woman who is obese with the same basic personalities were to want to date me, I'd sleep with them all and date the mildly overweight or average sized woman because I find them more attractive. Like I originally said I am not into obese women, just larger than the BMI allows to be the correct body size. | |
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| What is sexy about FAT???
Posted: 11/4/2009 10:40:56 AM | | To each his or her own. I will not date "fat" or "overweight" men period. I just do not see anything sexy about it. I do not care how nice the person is. I am a sexual and visual person and I need to have that "I want you" thin going on, or it will not happen. Not to mention I am into bodybuilding, muscle and nutrition. I do not want someone in my life on that level who isn't. I love tall, big muscular men, but that is it. If it means I date less, or hardly meet them, then so be it. Someone will come alone. But no one in the "fat" catagory. | |
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| What is sexy about FAT???
Posted: 11/4/2009 2:42:09 PM | Mary it still seems to me that you are sold on the stereo type that beauty if this skinny minis that are so afraid to gain an ounce that they spend most of their time trying to figure out how NOT to be hungry even when they were starving...
Actually, though I am overweight and the extra fat isn't necessarily what I want or need on my body I still think I'm a sexy woman...and I know I do exude some element of sexiness because I have met and come to know a lot of men who have consistently and rigorously pursued me. I don't necessarily see the 'sexy' in my belly but I don't think I'm unattractive..just fat...lol. It truly is MY hang-up but after reading a lot of the comments by other POFer's I have some other perspectives to think about.
Yes, I have extremely soft skin....I do have a nice round ass----I have nice thick thighs and calves----so while, the whole of me might not be perfect, you can bet your sweet a$$ there are many things about me that rock. My greatest asset is my brain----and I do try to think outside the box and see how other people see things to broaden my views on questions few folks like to ask but a good discussion is important.
I will never be thin----but I can be healthier----and that is why I've quit smoking and started taking better care of my body so I can live a longer more enjoyable life----and for the most part I enjoy myself rather well. A very good friend of mine opted for Gastric Bypass surgery and lost a whopping 180 lbs and looks great. She only has about 15 lbs-20 lbs of weight to lose and when she went in for a follow-up it still stated she was obese on her chart. She was devastated.
I am fat----and as I loose weight---even with exercise my body is never going to be perfect. My shape is sexy, perhaps some think to a very small population of men and women----but I only have to say to those who discredit the 'sex appeal' fat has----I think you need to attend a BBW dance----cuz it's wall to wall guys. Yeah, some are looking for sex only, but some guys do the same thing with a woman of ANY size and most of the men who attend these soirees truly love the size and beauty of women. So, while maybe fat isn't sexy to me---it seems some folks feel fat truly is.
Besides, in the dark, we are all sexy-----
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| What is sexy about FAT???
Posted: 11/4/2009 3:10:37 PM | All I can say is that the mind allows us to have individual and interesting obessions that often does not fit into some generic category, hence the word "fetish".
Some people love feet, some wearing the clothes of the opposite sex, some obese people. The beautiful thing about the human mind is the variety that comes with it. | |
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| What is sexy about FAT???
Posted: 11/4/2009 3:49:02 PM | | yeah im a bigguy being 6'2" 280ish and in my experiences its usually latino or black men who likes the larger ladies.Ive been with tiny petite girls to full and voluptuous! I totally prefer to have a girl with some meat on her bones,Thick girls are were its at! | |
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